Tuesday, May 31, 2011

A prisoner of hurt or a prisoner of hope

"Return to your stronghold, O prisoners of hope;today I declare that I will restore you double." Zechariah 9:12 I looked up the definition for the word stronghold and found that it meant a place of refuge or survival.

There are so many things in life I find that can take me captive. I can be a prisoner to regret. When I look back over my life and see how some of my bad choices have hurt the people I love I feel imprisoned by the pain of those choices. I look at David's life and see the grief he and those he loved suffered because of his sin but he wasn't a prisoner of regret: he was a prisoner of hope. He knew where to run for refuge. The hurt he felt was real but so was the God who loved him. He endured the pain by putting his confidence in the promise of a Redeemer.

Sometimes I feel like a prisoner of anxiety. It takes me captive in the night as I think about all the things over which I have no control. I see situations that threaten me and the people I love and suddenly I cry out in fear. I see a reflection of my own tears on the prophet Jeremiah's face. But like Jeremiah I return to my stronghold,and say,"Remembering my afflictions and my wanderings,the wormwood and the gall! My soul continually remembers it and is bowed down within me. But this I call to mind, and therefore I have hope: the steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end;they are new every morning;great is your faithfulness. 'The Lord is my portion', says my soul,'therefore I will hope in him.'"

Lord Jesus, your love is the key that unlocks the prison of regret because You are the Redeemer. Because You are my Savior You have set me free from all the fears and failures that bind me. For today I will remain in my stronghold, a prisoner of hope knowing that the day will come when hope will be exchanged for sight and I will be free.

Monday, May 30, 2011

Lemons

"You cut the lemon wrong." Everything within me rises up in my defense. My reputation as a lemon cutter is at stake. "I cut the lemons the way you showed me", I explained.  However, the lemons in question had a very thick rind and were lacking in pulp and didn't look right. "No, you cut the lemons wrong." "Perhaps you're right", I walk away in false humility but real anger.

I think of anger like stepping in chewing gun on a hot pavement. Once you step in it it's stuck to your shoe in a gooey mess and is very hard to get rid of. Seldom, no I think never is a better word, do I set out to step in melting chewing gum but it happens all the same. I never choose to be angry. I hate the emotion but then suddenly there it is and I have to deal with the anger just like I have to deal with the sticky gum on my shoe.

The comment about the lemons, nor the person who made it, was the real  source of my anger. I have heard that anger is a natural emotion we feel when we are threaten. So what in the world was so threatening about being told I cut the lemons wrong. It was a treat to my pride. Don't mess with my pride!

Anger is strong. Anger is powerful. I think of anger like a weed that is able to split the concert side walk. Anger  is a warning. It is not in itself wrong. But it is a tool to tell us something is wrong. My problem was not cutting lemons wrong my problem was with my pride.

Anger is a God given emotion it is not a bad thing  how I deal with this emotion is another story. I am uncomfortable with the emotion of anger. I don't know what to do with it. I particularly don't like when it exposes something negative about me like pride.

Dear Lord,here I am again struggling with the negative feelings I have when my life bumps against the lives of others. Please take this emotion that You created me with and use it like sandpaper on my soul please conform me into the image of Your Son.

Saturday, May 28, 2011

I think I missed the point

"Deny yourself." That seem pretty basic. I've been on enough diets to understand what that means. But it's the words that come after this command that make me think that just maybe I missed the point.

"If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me." Luke 9:23 I have a tendency to put myself in the middle of the universe. So I've always thought about denying myself in a positive way, to make me a better me. Taking up my cross daily and following Christ? Well, I thought of that as putting to death the negative things about who I am and being more like Jesus. However, when I examine my thoughts in the context of Jesus' life I see how self centered they are.

When I connect Jesus' invitation to follow Him with what I read in Philippians 2 understanding begins to awaken. "So if there is any encouragement in Christ, any comfort from love, any participation in the Spirit, any affection and sympathy, complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind. Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus..." This is not about me being a better me, it's about me loving others like Jesus did. It's about me following Jesus, denying myself, putting to death my flesh in love for others.

This is not about my dying on the mission field either there is a daily aspect to it. This is a daily choice to love as my life rubs against the lives of others. My choosing to deny myself for them. Daily putting to death my flesh so that I might consider others more significant than myself. This simply brings me to my knees and exposes how selfish I really am.

Dear Jesus, I come to You humbled again today by the exposure of Your word. I recognize again how different my thinking is from Yours. No matter how hard I try I cannot in my own strength follow You. Please,Lord, today let me participate in Your Spirit and know You in the power of Your resurrection. By Your grace I want to share in Your sufferings following the new command You gave, that if anyone wanted to follow You they were to love others as You did. Today,Lord, today grant me this kind of love.

Friday, May 27, 2011

The gardener of my soul

Back then the drive way was lined with fruit trees. There were apple trees, peach trees and pear trees. There was so much fruit that sometimes the branches would bend down almost to the ground. So much fruit but the fruit was small, hard and tasteless.

The reason the trees weren't being pruned was because I had small children at the time. It was a season in my life where I also had a great amount of energy and I was busy doing many projects. I was teaching several Bible studies. I had even been invited to speak at some conferences.

I remember very clearly when it began, the pruning. I was at a national convention. The speaker told us to find a quite place and to listen to God. I found my quiet place settled down and was disturbed by what I heard. I felt like God was telling me He was going to retire me from my many activities.

The pruning began on my home. Several of us were traveling together. The women began to talk about restructuring the class I taught. The was very humbling because it no longer had me as the teacher. Snip, snip went the pruning shears.

Next came a class I had been teaching for ten years. For the first time since I had been teaching it no one signed up to take it! Snip, Snip. One by one the classes I taught were eliminated until the only class left was my children. That was when I decided to home school them.

I poured out on my children all my energy all my creativity. Morning by morning I shared with them the treasures I found. They didn't necessarily always appreciate this. I caught them rolling their eyes at times. But what a privilege to watch them grow and mature.

I am in a different season of life now. I no longer have boundless energy. I can no longer do several project simultaneously. I no longer have my children living at home.

Dear Heavenly Father, You who are the gardener of my soul. Thank you for pruning me so that the fruit of my life will have more quality than quantity.

Thursday, May 26, 2011

Finding comfort in the glory of God

When I can't sleep I go outside and sit quietly on my porch in my rocking chair. Embraced by the soft cool air of night I look at the stars I listen to the quiet whispers of night. It is peaceful, it is beautiful, it is majestic. When I feel the glory of the night has entered my soul I begin," Father, who art in Heaven..."

"The heavens declare the glory of God, and the sky above proclaim his handiwork. Day to day pours out speech, and night to night reveals knowledge." Psalm 19:1,2  I think the reality of this verse is why I like to pray at night on my porch, I am surrounded by the evidence of the glory of God. I am surrounded by His glory during the day as well but I get distracted by the artificial lights.

Here in the majesty of night I can hear the voice of the Almighty. The creator whose handiwork I see above me invites me to call Him Father. There is a peace and wonder that inters my soul. When my heart and mind are filled with the knowledge declared by the glory of God there is no room for anxiety.

Now it is time for me to rest. I close my eyes and drift peacefully to sleep knowing that I have had audience with the God of the Universe. He invited me to come before His throne and lay my worries down ...and I did.

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Finding the words

"I was never allowed to express negative emotions as a child and now I don't know how." This is what a friend recently told me. I was allowed to express negative emotions as a child and I still struggle with knowing how to do it. Why?

I think there is the fear that if I really explore how black the darkness is or how deep the brokenness is I  will find no remedy. I think this why some parents don't allow their children to express their negative emotions, the parents just don't know how to make it right.

I find my relief in God's Word. He verbalized the darkest fears and entered into the deepest brokenness. "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? Why are you so far from saving me, from the words of my groaning? O my God, I cry by day, but you do not answer, and by night, but I find no rest." Psalm 22:1,2

"Use your words." This is an instruction I have heard parents give little children. But sometimes I can't find the words to express the dark emtions that I feel. I find in these verses God reaching out His hand and inviting me to honestly explore the depths of my fears and giving me words to express my anger and confusion.

I also am amazed to find these words in Jesus' mouth as He hung dieing on the cross.  Because of His love for me He entered into my darkness and my brokenness so that I could enter into His light and wholeness.

One of the Psalms I use to comfort myself is Psalm 23, the one that follows Psalm 22. Isn't that interesting? I wonder if the deepest comfort is found only after I explore my deepest fears and brokenness letting God put the words into my mouth.

Lord Jesus, thank you that when I go into the blackness of the night and face my fears I find I am not alone. You chose to bear my griefs and carry my sorrows, because of You though I enter the darkness I don't stay there.

Monday, May 23, 2011

If the Lord is my shepherd...

If the Lord is compared to a shepherd then I am compared to sheep. Sheep are known for their "mob instincts", fear and timidity, stubbornness and stupidity. If sheep do well it is because they have a good shepherd.

Years ago I read the book "A Shepherd looks at Psalm 23" by Phillip Keller. This book helped me understand some of the things I read in the Psalm. There was one part in particular that stayed with me it was the part about the shepherd anointing the sheep's head.

In the Summertime sheep are bothered by nose flies that buzz around the sheep's head hoping to deposit their eggs in the sheep's nose. If they are successful the eggs hatch into worm like larvae that works it's way up the nasal passages into the sheep's head. This causes the sheep to begin to beat their head against trees, rocks, posts etc. trying to get relief.

To protect his sheep from the flies a shepherd will smear an ointment of linseed oil, sulfur and tar over the sheep's nose and head as a protection against nose flies. Once the oil has been applied the sheep are free from agitation.

I can identify. I get so irritated sometimes by seemingly small things but they drive me crazy all the same. The thoughts buzz round and round in my mind. I can't seem to get rid of them and then they begin to multiply leaving room for nothing else. This is when I need a shepherd.

I cry out to the Shepherd to apply the oil of His Holy Spirit to my mind. I ask Him to anoint the conscious and sub-conscious levels of my thought life so that I can think and react like He would. I am alway amazed at the relief I experience in response to this prayer.

I do identify with the problems that sheep have and I am grateful that I can say ,"The Lord is my shepherd I shall not want."

Friday, May 20, 2011

Victory over despair

It came in like a suffocating fog seeping in the cracks. Before I knew it my mind was blinded by negative thoughts. The negative thoughts became negative words that polluted every thing I said and hurt everyone I spoke to. I felt afraid and vulnerable nothing seemed safe. In every situation I could only think of the worst case scenario.

There was a battle going on in my mind. Suddenly I remembered a Bible verse,"Let no unwholesome word come out of your mouth..." That was the beginning of victory over despair. Next came the verse mingled with my prayer, "Lord, please let the words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart be acceptable in Your sight." A shaft of light a ray of hope I would by God's grace not be crippled by my depressing thoughts and words.

At 3 A.M. lying in bed physically, mental, emotionally vulnerable the attack came again. Dark black thoughts shaded every thing around and within me. "In the night season I will remember You I will meditate on You the through the watches of the night." I put on my robe and went out to sit on my porch and focus my mind on God. I saw the full moon, I saw in it's reflection the beauty of nature, I heard the sound of a Whipper Will. I began to rehearse the many blessings I had received from God. The light came, darkness again was repelled. I went back into the house and fell into a deep restful sleep.

When I woke up this morning I was thinking about Psalm 22:3. It talks about how God inhabits the praises of His People. In researching this Psalm I found the story of a man who had gone through a bone marrow transplant. He talked about the depression that haunted him in his isolation until he remembered Psalm 22:3. He began to sing praises to God and the grip of despair released its hold on his heart.

Father, today please help me remember that praising You causes prison doors to swing open. Your light and truth gives victory over despair.

Thursday, May 19, 2011

How to deal with disappointment

I think of Caleb, what he experienced, what he must have felt when he walked on dry ground with the Red Sea piled up on either side of him. He knew desert thirst but he also knew what it was to have his thirst quenched by water flowing from what had been a dry rock until Moses hit it with his staff. He knew what it was like to have his physical hunger satisfied with the bread from Heaven day after day.

I can only imagine the excitement Caleb must have felt when he was chosen to be one of the twelve to spy out the Promised Land. Caleb's time in the wilderness had taught him to trust God wholeheartedly and now he was ready to see with his own eyes where God had led him to. He went to Hebron where the descendant's of Anak the giant lived.

It took two men to carry a single cluster of grapes. Caleb must have been overcome with anticipation. He was forty years old and in his prime. He was poised to take possession of the land God had promised him, but there was a glitch in the plan. Ten of the spies brought back word that though the land was everything God had promised there were giants and fortified cities and there was no way for the Israelites to take possession of it.

Caleb quited the people and said,"We should by all means go up and take possession of it, for we will surely overcome it."Numbers 13:30 Caleb trusted God, Caleb believed God's promise but Caleb spent the next forty year not in the Promised Land but wandering in the wilderness.Why?

There have been times in my life when the choices of others has altered the course set before me. I have known disappointment. I have discovered time and time again  that I am not the captain of my ship or the master of my fate. What to do, how do I respond? To be honest my first response is usually anger. I have to wrestle with the fact that I do not live an isolated life, it is lived in tandem with those I love, their choices affect my life.

How do I live with disappointment, how did Caleb live with disappointment? There is only one way. When I realize that I am not the captain of my ship or the master of my own fate I ask myself, "Who is?"  Caleb had learned to trust God. He had learned that God could part the Red Sea, provide water from a rock and bread from Heaven. Caleb believed that it was God, not the obedience or disobedience of the people he was with, that was in control.

The question I really have to ask myself when I am disappointed is this,"Does God keep His promise?" My faith is strengthened when I read the request Caleb made when he was eighty five years old.  "Now then, just as the Lord promised, he has kept me alive for forty-five years since the time he said this to Moses, while Israel moved about in the desert. So here I am today, eighty-five years old! I am still as strong today as the day Moses sent me out; I'm just as vigorous to go out to battle now as I was then. Now give me this hill country that the Lord promised me that day.  You yourself heard then that the Anakites were there and their cities were large I will drive them out just as he said." Joshua 14:10-12

Now, Father, I place my confidence and expectations in You and You alone. When I put my hope in You I will never be disappointed because in the fullness of time You always keep Your promise.

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Worshiping on my knees in the dressing room

"O great all my jeans are worn out!" Not only that but the shirts I wear to work were stained. I needed to do something about it but didn't have the resources.

I went to the thrift store and was greeted by an employee that told me today it was a buy one get one free shirt day. I found four shirts all the right color for work and then went to the jeans section. There I found three new pairs of L.L. Bean jeans in my size!

In the dressing room I realized I would be able to get four shirts and three new pairs of jeans for less than the regular cost of one pair of  jeans. I knelt in the dressing room and thanked God.

I thanked the woman who was checking me out and then I told her how grateful I was to God for His mercy. There was another woman standing there breathing with the aid of an oxygen tank. She responded, "The Bible says we have not because we ask not."

I shared with her how I think about God's grace like a bank account that is full. God gave us faith to be the checkbook so that we could access the grace. Prayer is the pen we use to fill out the check. The woman standing at the counter smiled and said, "Praise the Lord!"

When I got to my car I turned on the radio and heard Fernando Ortega singing,"Grace pouring forth like a fountain flowing our hearts open wide to sing Your praise." This completed my picture. Because of the sacrifice of Jesus Christ God has given me abundant grace. I access this grace by faith when I pray. However, when I thank God for His grace it adds to the blessing.

Monday, May 16, 2011

What mocks the power of God in your life?

When I read a story, I always identify with one of the characters. When I read the story of David and Goliath, I identify with Eliab, David's big brother. David made Eliab angry. Eliab had been on the battlefield for a while. For forty days Goliath had been coming out with his challenge. To fight the war was one thing; to battle Goliath one on one with everyone watching was another. Now here comes David with the question,"Who is this uncircumcised Philistine that he should defy the armies of the living God?" Not content to ask it once, he keeps asking this same question over and over!

I know Goliath personally. He's big. Really big. It's not just me he bothers either. A lot of people are familiar with him. He makes me feel like a failure; his taunts grow louder and louder with each passing day. He stands in the middle of the road and no progress can be made with him standing there. Behind him are all his mocking buddies,"If your God is so great, come on, let's see it. Fight Goliath."

Along comes David, he's been with the sheep, not fighting Philistines. His perspective is untainted. He calls Goliath an uncircumcised Philistine. In other words, David is pointing out that Goliath doesn't have protection from God. Next he asks the question,"Why is he being allowed to defy the living God?" These questions not only demand an answer they demand action.

Dear God, sometimes I feel like I've failed before I've even begun. Today give me the grace to run to the battle. Today, Goliath, you are going down!

Saturday, May 14, 2011

Learning to hear the voice of God

I remember my first prayer. I was about four years old and attempting to sweep the sidewalk at my parents home. Suddenly I was aware that I was not thinking about God. I stopped and prayed,"God, I don't ever want to not think about you again." It was a sincere prayer and I can still remember the wonder and confidence I felt that God had heard me and would give me the gift I'd asked for.

I love the story of  Samuel. Before he knew God, before the word of the Lord had been revealed to him he heard God call his name. "Samuel!" It did not begin with Samuel pursuing God but God pursuing Samuel. "Samuel!" Samuel went to the priest for instruction and was told to go back to bed. "Samuel!" Again he goes to the priest, the priest who had failed to train his own son's to hear the voice of God, realized that the LORD was calling the boy.

So Eli told Samuel, “Go and lie down, and if he calls you, say, 'Speak, LORD, for your servant is listening.'" So Samuel went and lay down in his place. The LORD came and stood there, calling as at the other times,"Samuel! Samuel!" Then Samuel said,"Speak, for your servant is listening." (Samuel 3:9,10)

I love to pray this prayer when I open up my Bible. I love the fact that I am simply responding to the love of God. He said open wide your mouth and I will fill it. (Psalm 81:10)

Eli's sons were not listening to God's voice. Eli honored his sons more than he honored God because he was reaping a benefit from their sin. God was speaking but His people were not listening. "But my people did not listen to my voice; Israel would not submit to me. So I gave them over to their stubborn hearts to follow their counsels. Oh, that my people would listen to me, that Israel would walk in my ways!" (Psalms 81:11-13)

There have been times in my life when it has seemed God's voice was dim. When this happens I use the words to a song I learned long ago and I sing it to the Lord in prayer.  "Lord, to my soul bring back the Springtime! Take away the cold and dark of sin. Only hold me now sweet holy Jesus. May I warm and tender be again."

Thank you, Jesus, that in love you pursue me calling me by name. Grant me the grace to respond,"Speak Lord, for your servant is listening." I also ask to always have You in my thoughts.

Thursday, May 12, 2011

Living with the curtains pulled back

I love to study prophecy! When I study prophecy I feel like the curtains of Heaven are pulled back. I see God at the beginning and the end.

 I love the book of Daniel and the picture I find of God there. He is the Ancient of Days seated on the throne. He is the Most High God whose,"kingdom is an everlasting kingdom, and his dominion endures from generation to generation."Daniel 4:3

When I read the book of Ezra I see people who are discouraged. Their enemies are mocking their efforts to obey God. They are living with the consequences of their sin and the sins of their ancestors. They are discouraged and ready to give up. Then God sends two prophets Haggai and Zechariah. Through these prophets God pulls back the curtains of Heaven and shows them the bigger picture. When they can see their life from the perspective of eternity they find the courage to do the work God has given them to do.

"For the Lord GOD does nothing without revealing his secret to his servants the prophets."  Amos 3:7 Isn't that amazing! I see this idea repeated over and over. When God said," Shall I hide from Abraham what I am about to do?"Genesis 18:17 or when He told Noah about the flood. In so many places in Scripture God reveals what He is about to do and then invites His servants to be part of it.


Then we come to the ministry of Jesus and I hear Him say," No longer do I call you servants, for a servant does not know what his master is doing ; but I have called you friends, for all that I have heard from my Father I have made known to you." John 15:15 I see this again in the first verse of Revelation,"The revelation of Jesus Christ, which God gave him to show to his servants the things that must soon take place."


I confess I am very timid at times. Sometimes I'm just scared, I feel like I have no control over my life. However, when I study prophecy I see the curtains of Heaven pulled back. I see the Ancient of days seated on the throne and miracle of miracles I hear the message that He loves me. As I study His word I find to my amazement  that I have a place in the story He is telling.


Sovereign Lord, as I bow today at your eternal throne show me how to be a good steward of your revealed mysteries.



Wednesday, May 11, 2011

I named my first child Faith

I wanted to share a few mothering tips:

1. If you place your confidence and expectations in yourself and your parenting ability you will stumble and fall.

2.  If you place your confidence and expectations in your children they will stumble and fall and then you will trip over them and land on top of them.

3.  If you place your confidence and expectations in God and pray without ceasing He will hear you and give you the wisdom that you need.

4.  When the Bible tell you that you cannot judge someones motives that applies to your children as well. Just because we gave them birth does place us in God's position of judging their heart.

5. When removing the splinter from your child's eye be very careful it may have splintered off the log in your eye.

6. CHILDREN ARE WITHOUT EXCEPTION A GIFT FROM GOD1

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Gentleness is the opposite of a control freak

I live on a farm and we have stables. I have to confess I'm not an expert on horses but I have tried to learn a few things. One thing I've learned is that horses are prey animals. Humans are predators. Prey animals are eaten by predators therefor they tend to be frightened easily very much like sheep. However, when a horse learns to trust a human the horse becomes gentle. When a horse becomes gentle and learns to trust it's owner it yields control to the owner. A horse can panic easily when it is frightened but when a horse has learned to trust it's owner there is nowhere it will not go. An example of a fearless horse is a warhorse it is also a beautiful picture of trust.

When I see the word gentle in the Bible I think of this special relationship of a horse and it's owner. I see this relationship in Philippians when it says to, "Rejoice in the Lord . Let your gentleness be known to everyone. The Lord is near; do not be anxious about anything..." The closeness of the relationship between horse and rider can be measured by the gentleness and fearlessness of the horse. I think that is true of my relationship with Jesus the more I trust Him the more gentle I become.

I have a confession to make this is how I want to be but what happens more often is that when I feel threatened I become a control freak.  I drive myself crazy and everyone around me. When I enter this panic mode there is no peace in my home and it ceases to be a safe place for the people around me very similar to a horse that is panicking. A horse that is panicking can by accident kill those closest to him.

What can I do? Again I go to the passage in Philippians. When my eyes are wide with panic and anxiety about things that threaten me but I have no control over I am instructed to pray. "But in everything by prayer and supplications with thanksgiving let your request be made known to God." Pray shows a correct relationship between the one who is helpless and the one who is protector. The things that cause me to panic when I humbly bring them to the Lord in prayer teach me to trust Him. Gentleness and humility are often found together.

I love to go to horse shows where you see a horse that really trusts it's master it seems there is nothing the horse cannot do. This is how I want my relationship with Jesus to look like,"And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding , will guard your heart and minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:4-7

Lord Jesus, I yield the reigns of control to You in exchange for your peace. Lord Jesus make me gentle.

Monday, May 9, 2011

To submit or not to submit

"You were the signet of perfection ,full of wisdom and perfect in beauty. You were in Eden, the garden of God; every precious stone was your covering, sardius, topaz, and diamond, beryl, and jasper, sapphire, emerald, and carbuncle; and crafted in gold were your settings and your engravings. On the day you were created they were prepared. You were an anointed guardian cherub. I placed you; you were on the holy mountain of God; in the midst of the stones of fire you walked....Your heart was proud because of your beauty; your corrupted your wisdom for the sake of your splendor." Ezekiel 28:12-17

"Have this mind among yourself, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross." Philippians 2:5-8

" Now the serpent was more crafty than any other beast of the field that the Lord God had made." Genesis 3. What was the temptation, wasn't it really to rebel against God's authority? The word submit means to place yourself under authority. Pride responds,"You can't tell me what to do! I am my own boss."

"Then Jesus told his disciples, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me." Matthew 16:24 Satan shouts, "Rebel!" Jesus invites us to deny ourselves. I have to admit my natural inclination is to rebel. I don't like other people telling me what to do.

Sometimes it's good to know the end of the story, or the consequences of your decision . "By the multitude of your iniquities, in the unrighteousness of your trade you profaned your sanctuaries; so I brought fire out from your midst; it consumed you,and I turned you to ashes on the earth in the sight of all who saw you. All who know you among the peoples are appalled at you; you have come to a dreadful end and shall be no more forever."Ezekiel 28:18,19

"Therefore God has highly exalted him and bestowed on him the name that is above every name, so that at the name of Jesus every knee shall bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father." Philippians 2: 9-11

So in the end I think it is really just a matter of which one I submit to. Either I choose to submit to "The father of Lies, the Murderer, The Power of Darkness, the Wicked One" or "Jesus the way the truth and the life ,Light of the world, The Good Shepherd, The Prince of Peace."

I choose to to submit myself to the authority of Jesus Christ.


Sunday, May 8, 2011

What's missing in my life?

What's missing in my life? This was a question I was supposed to answer in my Bible study. I think the correct answer should be nothing. I read in Roman 5:2 "Because of our faith, Christ has brought us into this place of undeserved privilege where we now stand, and we confidently and joyfully look forward to sharing God's glory." So my question is why do I feel so miserable?

I don't always feel miserable but I did yesterday while I was pondering the question ,"What's missing in my life?" It was just one of those days, I was trying to figure out how to get to the point were I was "rejoicing in the Lord " instead of "grumbling and complaining".

I think in pictures, when I think about grace I think about a bank account. I believe God has placed in my account unfailing love, infinite mercy, redemption and forgiveness for my sin, to name only a few. These things were credited to me as a gift I did not earn them. I believe the value of what has been placed in my account is beyond anything I could have earned.

When my account was opened for me I was also given a checkbook called faith. "Faith is being sure of what you hope for and confident about what you don't see." Hebrew 11:1 My confidence is that in God's love and provision I have every thing I need. I am lacking nothing so back to my original question why was I so miserable yesterday?

I have in my account every thing I need, I have a checkbook, but now I need something to write with. In my mind I see the pen as prayer. In the book of James it says ,"You don't have because you don't ask". Jesus taught that if we asked according to His will we would receive . When the blind man came to Jesus Jesus said,"What do you want me to do for you?" 

When I pray in faith I think of  Jesus."Who, although He existed in the form of God, did not regard equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied Himself, taking the form of a bond-servant, and being made in the likeness of men. Being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross." Philippians 2;6-8  This is what it cost to place the grace in my account. When in prayer I turn my attention away from the frustrations of the world and begin to claim what Jesus died to provide for me and my heart begins to change.

Through the "pen" of prayer I fill out the "check" of faith to access my "account " of grace.

Thursday, May 5, 2011

Tested at the waters of Meribah

"Lord, I can't believe this has happened! I trusted you." My disappointment was so painful I felt like a cruel joke had been played on me. But there was no place to turn but to the Lord. Mine was a cry from a desperate heart," I will not let you go until you bless me!"

I began the morning after my disappointment with heavy depression and resolve. I was going to read my Bible until I heard the voice of God. Because I try to read through the Bible every year I started where I had left off the day before. I tried to read but the words seemed to lie flat on the page. I saw words but I couldn't hear God's voice.

"This is how Job must have felt." Well maybe I would understand what God was doing to me if I read the last chapters of Job. I read but I didn't understand what God was saying to Job either! By now I had been reading for over an hour and still I could only see words on the page. I needed to start work but I still had a heavy heart and no answers.

As I got ready for the day I continued to pray ,"God, please,please help me! I don't understand what you are doing. I want to trust you but I don't understand!" I began to meditate on the things I had read that morning. I began with what I had read in Job. It was not the comfort I had been seeking but what was God saying?

As I thought about it, what I saw was God challenging Job with this question, "Will the one who contends with the Almighty correct him? Let him who accuses God answer him!"Job 40:2 I realized that was what I was doing I was contending with the Almighty and accusing Him. Because I didn't understand what God was doing I felt like He was being cruel to me. This was my starting point.

Next I started thinking about the Psalm I had read that morning. Psalm 81:7 I tested you at the waters of Meribah.  Okay, what does that mean? What were the waters of Meribah. I found the answer in Exodus 17:7 where God gave the Israelites water from a rock and they quarreled and said,"Is the Lord among us or not?"

As I meditaited on Psalm 81 I began to feel like God was giving me an invitation to trust Him. Psalm 81:7-16 I am the Lord your God, who brought you up out of Egypt. Open wide your mouth and I will fill it...But my people would not listen to me; Israel would not submit to me....If my people would but listen to me, if Israel would follow my ways...with honey from the rock I would satisfy you."

So I stand thirsty in the wilderness facing a rock. I'm not sure where I am I'm not sure where I'm going. This is a test a test of trust. It is the same test Eve had in the garden that I now have in the wilderness. Is God really good? Can I trust Him even if I don't understand Him?

I choose to trust. My soul is satisfied with living water I find sweetness in the hardest places of my life. I have entered into His rest!

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

The Rock beneath my feet

The accident happened in December and though there is no evidence of anything being wrong there is a hidden threat. Because of the car accident my cousin has a tear in her carotid artery, she lives with the threat of it resulting in a stroke.  She was told not to move her head quickly, to carry her medical records with her,  to know the location of the nearest ER, to take prescribed medication, and to wait until May 12 for the next scan to see if the tear has healed .

 I saw Margret at Easter I was amazed by the look of peace that surrounded her. She explained what she was going through by using this picture. She told me it was as if there was a pond in her backyard, because she was so familiar with it she knew where all the rocks were so that she could get from one side to the other by stepping on them. Now however, since the accident, all the rocks had turned into lily pads. There were no rocks she could stand on that would support her weight . She told me the only security she has is her relationship with Jesus. As I looked at her beautiful face I thought ,"This is what the peace that passes understanding looks like!"

Sunday after the tornadoes had destroyed many places that were familiar to me the preacher preached on Isaiah 20 and the different things we put our trust in. I think many times we don't even know what we are trusting in until the storms come. Am I trusting in something that will leave me full of anxiety or peace when the foundations of my world are shaken?

"Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again;Rejoice! Let you gentleness be evident to all.  The Lord is near.  Do no be anxious about anything..." Philippians 4:4-6

This was the peace I saw in my cousin as she stood on the solid rock embraced by the love of Jesus.

Sunday, May 1, 2011

This is where I find comfort

The phone rang about 5 A.M. Wednesday morning it was the warning system for my daughter's school in Alabama. A tornado watch was in effect the students were told to go to the basement. I found out later that the majority of her day was spent in the basement while the tornadoes hovered above the building.

When the things you take for granted like the stability of nature are removed where do you go for comfort? When you wake up thinking this day will be a carbon copy of the day before but you end the day without a home where can you go for comfort? When you see people around you whom you love suffer where can  you go for comfort?

"Have you not known?Have you not
                      heard?
The Lord is the everlasting God,
  the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He does not faint or grow weary;
  his understanding is unsearchable.
He gives power to the faint,
  and to him who has no might he
          increases strength.
Even youths shall faint and be weary,
  and young men shall fall exhausted;
but they who wait for the Lord shall
         renew their strength;
  they shall mount up with wings like
        eagles;
they shall run and not be weary;
  they shall walk and not faint.
            Isaiah  40: 27-31

Where is my comfort? It is the same place I have put my confidence, not in the stability of nature, it is not in my strength or the strength of those around me.  I put my hope in the everlasting God, not the creation but the Creator. My Lord and my Savior Jesus who has invited me to find refuge in Him.

I find my comfort trusting in God's word and in His promises that even though I faint and grow weary He doesn't. I choose to rest between the shoulders of my God mounting up with wings like eagles.

Rock of Ages

Rock of ages,cleft for me,
Let me hide myself in Thee;
Let the water and the blood,
From Thy riven side which flowed,
Be of sin the double cure,
Save from wrath and make me pure.

Not the labors of my hands
Can fulfill Thy law's demands;
Could my zeal no respite know,
Could my tears forever flow,
All for sin could not atone;
Thou must save, and Thou alone.

Nothing in my hand I bring.
 Simply to Thy cross I cling;
Naked,come to Thee for dress;
Helpless, look to Thee for grace;
Foul, I to the fountain fly;
Wash me, Savior, or I die.

While I draw this fleeting breath,
When my eyelids close in death,
When I soar to worlds unknown,
See Thee on Thy judgement throne,
Rock of Ages, cleft for me,
Let me hide myself in Thee.