Thursday, November 29, 2012

Dealing With What Has Been Left Behind

This has to be the hardest job I've ever been given. I am going through the house Papa built and packing things up. Papa died the week after Ma Belle and now it's time to deal with things left behind. The family went through and made lists of things they would like and this is very helpful.

Each list is touching because the things that are being asked for don't have great monetary value but instead are reminders of the life that was shared with the ones who once owned them. My ten year old grandson's list, however, is the most touching of all. He wrote, "I want Papa's brown shoes because they were the ones he wore the most and he touched them all the time. I want one of Papa's hats because he wore it. I want Grandma's mirror because she looked in it and I remember helping her with her hair. I want the ceramic brown cow with the broken tail because I used to give Grandma Belle flowers to put in it. Finally, I want Grandma's humming bird on the gold wire that always sat on the dining room table because it's beautiful and it reminds me of her."

This job has caused me to think about the things I will leave behind because the truth is we take nothing with us not even our bodies. What will my children and grandchildren choose to remind them of me. As I am working my way through Ma Belle and Papa's home room by room I am finding in each nook and cranny evidence of a couple who loved the Lord and each other.

"Foxes have holes, and birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has nowhere to lay his head."(Luke 9:58) So what did Jesus leave behind? "These things I have spoken to you while I am still with you. But the Helper, the Holy Sprint  whom the Father will send in my name  he will teach you all things and bring to your remembrance all that I have said to you." (John 14:25-26) Jesus didn't leave things to remind us of Him, He sent His Spirit to dwell in us.

Lord Jesus, as I box up the things that have been left behind I pause to thank You that You gave me Your Holy Spirit to comfort, counsel and teach. I also thank You because You have also given me the promise of Resurrection so that I do not grieve like those who have no hope.

Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Hidden In Plain View

"Now children remember these decorations are to be hidden in plain view." These are not only a Christmas decoration but a game we play each year. I have twelve small reindeer and snowmen that the children are to hide but they are to hide them by making them part of the decorations. Whoever finds one of these reindeer or snowmen then has to find another hiding place where it will be in plain view. Right now I have a snowman riding the camel in my nativity scene and a reindeer hanging from my dining room chandelier.

"I love those who love me, and those who seek me diligently find me." (Proverbs 8:17) I see this through out the Scriptures as an invitation to seek and an invitation to find. "If you call out for insight and raise your voice for understanding, if you seek it like silver and search for it as for hidden treasures,then you will understand the fear of the LORD and find the knowledge of God."(Proverbs 2:3-5)

There is something about the process of first discovering a longing and a thirst for something that helps me appreciate it's value.  What I see in these verses is that there is treasure that I am invited not just to seek but to find. God placed a yearning in my heart for Him and desire to find Him.

This imagery of seeking and finding is in the New Testament as well. When Jesus tells us what the Kingdom of Heaven is like He says, "The Kingdom of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field." (Matthew 13:44) "Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a merchant looking for fine pearls." (Matthew 13:45) In all these verses I see an invitation with a promise of finding the thing I am longing for.

Father, thank You for giving me this desire to seek for You. Thank You for not only giving the desire to seek but also the delight of finding both You and Your Kingdom.


Tuesday, November 27, 2012

A Quiet Moment

It takes time for the stillness to seep into my soul. Sunday I slipped away to a quiet place and watched as one by one the leaves fell. To say the leaves fell is to brief a description. I could not feel the breath of the wind but I watched as the leaves gently danced their way to earth. The stillness of the scene was not broken as each leaf was gently received to earth in unbroken silence.

"Be still and know that I am God." ( Psalm 46:10) This was the verse I thought of as I sat there in silence. But it was hard to be still when one by one the troubling events of the week came rushing to my mind. Somehow the quietness of the moment had allowed all the things I'd been trying not to think about to come to the surface.

When I looked this verse up in "Bares' Notes on the Bible" I found that the Hebrew words be still means to properly cast down, to let fall; to let hang down; then to be relaxed. It expresses the attitude of leaving matters with God and not being anxious about the issue. So as I watched the trees around me releasing the leaves that the fluttered to the ground I began to relax and let go of the troubles I had brought with me.

When I find a solitary place to be still I look around me at all the evidence that God is at work. I look around me and everywhere I look I see His finger prints. I see the silhouette of the tree whose last leaf has silently found it's way to earth. Now the tree looks as if it is raising it's arms in praise. Finally, I find both stillness and praise entering my soul as well.

Father, help me to carry this quiet moment back into my busy world.

Saturday, November 24, 2012

Grandmother Embraced Life!

Usually, I had to share her with my eight siblings but for one glorious year I had her almost all to myself. Grandmother opened up worlds for me. In her backyard she had a wildflower garden, she would show me the different flowers as if they were her friends. Outside the breakfast room window she had a bird feeder. She knew the birds not only by name but by their songs. One time there was a comet passing in the heavens and Grandmother bundled up several of her grandchildren and took us to a bluff where we would be able to see it best. Grandmother embraced life!

With the same passion Grandmother embraced life she embraced God. I would tiptoe into her room in the morning hungry for breakfast and there she was on her knees talking to God. Often she would be praying out loud and I would kneel beside her and join in. Grandmother prayed fervently for all her grandchildren.  My Aunt Sally was a missionary in Brazil and Grandmother prayed about every one Aunt Sally mentioned in her letters.

While I was with Grandmother that year she was preparing her home for when Aunt Sally and her family would be coming home on furlough. Grandmother was so excited because at last she was going to get to meet her grandchildren from Brazil for the first time. I was so jealous! Because talking to God at Grandmother's house was such a natural thing to do I began to talk to Him about my jealousy. My prayer became a request that God would take away my jealousy and replace it with love. I asked God to give me a special love for my cousins.

God did for me exactly what He promised He would do. "This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. And if we know he hears us -- whatever we ask -- we know we have what we asked of him." (1 John 5:14-15) Grandmother died about five years later but the special love God gave me for my cousins has continued and now has been extended to their children as well.

Father, thank You for giving a grandmother who taught me to embrace life. Thank You for teaching me through her that I could embrace You and be embraced by you. Thank You for enriching my world by the people You have given me to love. And, oh yes, thank You for teaching me the cure for jealousy.


Thursday, November 22, 2012

The Orbit

The path taken by one object as it circles around another object is called an orbit. I have orbited around many things. Sometimes I have been held in the orbit of guilt as my mind has rehearsed again and again my faults and failures. Other times I have been held in the orbit of anger and resentment as the faults and failures of others held me in it's gravitational pull. Being trapped in the orbit of either guilt or anger is a miserable place but I have a secret weapon.

When I wake in the night orbiting around and around faults and failures there is only one thing that break the gravitational pull. "At midnight I rise to praise you"(Psalm 119:62) When I turn my heart and mind towards God I am drawn into His light and love. Praising God and focusing who He is sets me free.

"About midnight Paul and Silas were praying and singing hymns of praise to God, and the prisoners were listening to them, and suddenly there was a great earthquake, so that the foundations of the prison were shaken. And immediately all the doors were opened, and every one's bonds were unfastened." (Acts 16:25,26) Praise and thanksgiving is so powerful that not only does it set me free from the negative orbit but it can have an effect on all those around me as well. 

Orbiting around faults and failures either mine or others always produces sorrow.  I am so grateful that I have been set free, ransomed, from the negative gravitational pull of this orbit. Orbiting around the Jesus Christ with songs of praise and thanksgiving I have obtained joy and gladness, and sorrow and sighing have fled away.




Wednesday, November 21, 2012

The Blessing

My granddad was the strongest man that ever lived and he loved me. I loved him too. I loved everything about him, his Italian accent, the way he could grow garlic in the garden and the way he said my name "Sadah."

It made me so sad when he had a stroke. After his stroke he couldn't walk anymore so I would sit  by his wheelchair and keep him company. He would tell me stories of his childhood, what it was like to grow up in Italy. He told me about tending to sheep. Though he was confined to a wheelchair through his stories we traveled back to days of his youth.

Granddad never got tired of hearing me read the gospels. He would say,"Sadah, I lika all the Bible but read to me again about Jesus." My granddad was a strong independent man and it was hard for him when he loss the use of his legs. One day I found a picture in his house of Jesus holding a lamb. "Granddad, when you were younger you were like the sheep in this picture who are running all over the field. But now your like the lamb that Jesus carries." From then on Granddad kept that picture where he could see it.

Granddad gave me a special gift. Every night as I would climb the stairs to go to bed he would call out, "Sadah, Goda blessa youra good heart!" It's been many years since I was a young girl climbing those stairs. In fact I am now have grandchildren of my own but sometimes as I'm falling asleep I can still hear my granddad calling out his blessing.

Lord Jesus, thank You for the blessings You have placed in my life.



Tuesday, November 20, 2012

The Magnitude of the Situation

My oldest brother was a master of big words my little brother loved attention it was the perfect combination for what took place. Nick began to work with Cessna teaching him to form words that were far beyond his ability to understand. Finally, he was ready. His timing couldn't have been better, he turned to the adult who addressed him and with his toddler's tongue he proclaimed, "You cannot fully comprehend the magnitude of the situation."

What is the magnitude of my situation? This year has brought with it so many challenges. If I wasn't looking at life through the lens of faith I think the magnitude of the situation would overwhelm me. My faith isn't in myself and it isn't in the belief that everything is going to be alright. My faith doesn't keep me experiencing the storm that rages all around me. But by faith I can see a greater story being told than just the chapter I am experiencing now.

"For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor powers, neither heights nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." (Romans 8: 38,39) It is in the magnitude of God's promise that I have put my faith.

Faith is being sure of what I hope for and confident about what I don't see. What I do see is scary. I see broken hurting people but through eyes of faith I also see a Redeemer. Long ago I put my confidence in the one who said, "Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you."(Hebrews 13:5) Absolute magnitude is a measure of the intrinsic luminosity of a celestial body. The absolute magnitude of God's grace and glory can only be seen through eyes of faith.

Heavenly Father, I am overwhelmed by the greatness of Your love and Your peace that passes understanding. Your love is far beyond my comprehension. Though I do not fully understand the situations I find myself in I know that I am not alone and that nothing can separate me from Your love.

Monday, November 19, 2012

There is a Goat in the Middle of the Highway

I don't want to be late. I don't want to be early. I just want to be on time, but there is a goat in the middle of the highway. This goat has a name, her name is Sugar. She's is a LaMancha goat. This means Sugar has no ears. Sugar has no horns. Sugar has no handle for me to grab her by. I live on a farm but I'm not really a farmer. All I want to do is get to my appointment on time, but there is a goat in the middle of the highway.

I park my car, I have no idea what I'm supposed to do but I can't pretend I don't notice this goat named Sugar in the highway. This was not part of my plans for today. I'm now standing next to the goat and I'm talking out load but not to the goat. "Father, what am supposed to about this! You know I don't know how to do this sort of thing! This goat has no handle!" I think I'm kind of screaming the prayer as the cars and trucks whiz by.

I guess goats don't understand English because I'm telling her where she needs to go to be safe but she keeps going in the opposite direction. I've been chasing that goat for thirty minutes and now I have to call and explain why I'm not going to be there for my appointment. The phone is pressed to my ear by my shoulder because I'm holding a tree branch in each hand. Suddenly, I have an idea I let the phone drop and grab my good silk scarf from around my neck and tie it around Sugar's neck. At last I can  lead  drag Sugar to safety.

Now, I'm sitting in my car just thinking about what just happened. It's as if I've been given a picture of what this past week was like. I made plans of what I would do but they didn't happen because I'm not really the one who is in control. Not only that but sometimes I'm just like Sugar standing the middle of harms way but not trusting the one who wants to lead me to safety.

Heavenly Father, Your word says to, "Trust in the LORD with all you heart and do not lean on your own understanding." (Proverbs 3:5) That is so hard to do. Please help me to humble myself and believe that You are LORD. When You allow things in my life that I am not expecting please help me trust You.

Monday, November 12, 2012

It is a Mystery

It is a mystery and because it is a mystery I cannot fully understand or explain it. Yet, I am content to live with mystery, to believe in a God that is beyond my ability to completely explain. If I could fully understand the ways of God I would be His equal, I am not. One of the mysteries is this, He has allowed me to be a participant in His plans through prayer.

There are many places I see this in Scripture but the one I find most intriguing is in Daniel. Daniel was a man who was faithful in prayer. In the tenth chapter of Daniel he tells about a time he was fasting and mourning and seeking to understand the word God had revealed to him. In response to Daniel's prayer God sent an angel. This is what the angle said; "Fear not, Daniel, for from the first day that you set your heart understand and humble yourself before your God, your words have been heard, and I have come because of your words. The prince of the kingdom of Persia withstood me twenty-one days, but Michael, one of the chief princes, came to help me, for I was left there with the kings of Persia, and came to make you understand what is to happen to your people in the latter days." (Daniel 10:12-14)

Is there a parallel picture in the New Testament? Yes. "For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places." (Ephesians 6:12) We are to enter into the this mystery the same way Daniel did, "Praying at all times in the Spirit, with all prayer and supplication." (Ephesians 6:17-18)

But I have to ask myself am I really doing this? Am I really entering into what God is doing by praying at all times in the Spirit, with all prayer and supplication or am I simply existing in the moment? Jesus' admonition to His followers was to watch and pray. However, I am aware that I often simply watch the events around me unfold without entering into to the mystery of God by prayer.

Heavenly Father forgive me for the lack of faith that keeps me from prayer. You have given the command to not only watch what You are doing in my generation but to pray. Your word teaches that the prayer of a righteous person has great power. Please grant me the grace to enter into this mystery of prayer.

Saturday, November 10, 2012

Seasons Change

My friend and I were hiking in the North Georgia Mountains this week. We have been friends for over thirty years and for over thirty years we have come to these mountains to hike. Year after year we have watched the seasons change. We have grown to appreciate the beauty of each season. Each year we try to go on a hike to celebrate our birthday's mine is the first day of Spring and hers is in the Autumn.

Each season has it's own particular beauty, each season also has it's own difficulties. Our conversation encompasses both of these. We don't walk as fast as we used to and it's not only because we are getting older. We take more time to stop and admire the way the Sun shines through the leaves as we look up through the branches. We admire the soaring birds and appreciate the view from the North Rim of the canyon.

We have walked together long enough to have many shared memories. At one time we hiked while caring our baby's in backpacks. When our children were young we were constantly tiring to point out the glories of the canyon. They, however, were to busy marveling at the rocks and the insects they were discovering to see the bigger picture.

This year our conversation was about the season of life we were in. Because I was talking to my friend I was able to be honest and say this has been a hard year. Yet, I'm not willing to say it's been a bad year any more than I'd be willing to say there is a bad season. My mind keeps going back to Ecclesiastes where it says "For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven." I think the key to understanding that everything is beautiful in its time is the fact that God has placed eternity into man's hearts.


Heavenly Father, Your word tells me that, "All are from dust, and to dust we return." (Ecclesiastes 3:20) As the seasons come and go I am aware of the passing of time yet You have placed eternity in my heart. Thank You so much for loving me and sending Your Son into this world so that by believing in Him I have eternal life.

Thursday, November 8, 2012

A Backdrop for His Glory

"Don't cry," he said.  I knew he wanted to bring comfort but I also knew my daughter needed to cry. Crying was the right response that night. We were gathered around the bedside of someone we loved watching her draw her finale labored breaths. The tears flowed the pain was real and yet we were all searching for where faith and grief intersect.

In times like this prayers are not elaborate. Martha and Mary were watching their brother die. It was a painful vigil. "So the sisters sent word to Jesus, 'Lord, the one you love is sick.'" (John 11:3) When the pain is deep the words are few. Jesus heard, he understood the grief they were experiencing but he didn't come right away. He had chosen to paint the glory of the Resurrection on the canvas of their life. 

Suffering the death of someone you love is a very confusing. When grief comes it is like a cloudy day, you know the Sun is shining even though you can't see it or feel it's warmth. I see this when I read about Jesus' encounter with Martha after her brother's death. She still believed she just didn't understand. Jesus said to her, "I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me will live, even though he dies; and whoever believes in me will never die. Do you believe this?"(John 11) She really did believe but when they got to the tomb and Jesus said to take the stone away she warned him that after four days the dead body would stink.

Jesus didn't condemn the deep emotional response that death brought in fact, "Jesus wept." This reminds me of the of what it said in Isaiah 53 when it describes Jesus as, "a man of sorrows, acquainted with grief." Jesus identified with their pain. He heard them when they told him that their brother was sick. It was on this dark canvass of human suffering that he chose to display the truth of the Resurrection.

Lord Jesus, thank You for hearing my prayers even when my prayer is a simple telling of what I am experiencing. Thank You for understanding my confusion, and please, take my messy life and let is be a backdrop for Your glory.



























Wednesday, November 7, 2012

When Kingdoms Collide

"My kingdom is not of this world." (John 18:36) A kingdom that is not of this world? Can you imagine how that sounded to Pilate as Jesus stood before him bound and bloody from a night spent in the court of the high priest? John the Baptist had declared, "Repent, for the kingdom of heaven is at hand."(Matthew 3:2) For this kingdom and this king John was willing to die and he did. Pilate, however, when presented with the a truth of the kingdom of heaven washed his hands of it.

"To you it has been given to know the mysteries of the kingdom of heaven, but to them it has not been given." (Matthew 13: 11) Jesus proclaimed the kingdom, He spoke about it in parables and what had been prophesied came to pass, "I will open my mouth in parables; I will utter what has been hidden since the foundation of the world."(Matthew 13:35, Psalm 78:2) So the the King spoke of His Kingdom but not everyone who heard the words understood. There was a problem, "For this people's heart has grown dull, and with their ears they could barely hear, and their eyes they have closed."(Matthew 13:15) The ones who couldn't hear Jesus had not heard John when he cried, "Repent, for the kingdom of heaven is at hand."

Jesus taught us to pray, " Your kingdom come, your will be done on earth as it is in heaven." ( Matthew 6:10) I was thinking about this prayer in connection with Paul praying constantly for the Colossians that they would be filled with the knowledge of God's will in all spiritual wisdom and understanding, "so as to walk in a manner worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing to him, bearing fruit in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of God."(Colossians 1:3) Why should their life look any different from the lives of those around them? It was because, "He has delivered us from the domain of darkness and transferred us from the kingdom of his beloved Son." (Colossians 1:13) If we have been delivered from the kingdom of darkness and we are now saints in light then we should shine as lights in the world. When I pray that God's kingdom comes and His will is done this is part of what I am asking for.

When I read the Scripture I see that what I believe about the kingdom of heaven should make a difference in how I live. When Jesus taught the mysteries of the kingdom of heaven the people whose hearts had grown dull were unable to hear and understand what he was saying. In Colossians Paul tells those who have accepted Christ as their king to put to death whatever belongs to their earthy nature. What I see is that as I grow in a deeper knowledge of the king and His kingdom I should represent Him more clearly to the world around me.

Father, let your kingdom come and your will be done on earth as in in heaven.

Saturday, November 3, 2012

He Can Come Riding on the Wind or Walking on the Water

Storms come in nature and in life though this is not an uncommon thing they often take us by surprise and hold us hostage by their power. Storms are often accompanied by darkness and strong winds that show me clearly that I am not the one in control. "By now it was dark, and Jesus had not yet joined them. A strong wind was blowing and the waves grew rough. He saw the disciples straining at the oars, because the wind was against them."(Matthew 14:23-27) It was in the midst of this storm that Jesus came to them walking on the water.

Sometimes God uses the storms in my life to humble me but with the humbling comes a deeper since of awe and wonder at who He is and the beauty of His power. This takes away the sting of fear and enables me to come to him not in my own power but by the power of His invitation. "'Lord, if it's you,' Peter replied, 'tell me to come to you on the water.' "Come," he said." The storms in my life allow me to see more clearly who this God is that I worship. They allow me to cast off my high view of myself and enter into to an awe filled since of worship.

One of my favorite hymns was written by a man who lived a very stormy life. His name was William Cowper. His life was filled with mental anguish, which included an eighteen month stay in an insane asylum and several attempted suicides. While he was in the asylum he began reading the Bible and as a result he humbled himself and accepted Jesus as his Savior. This was a man who knew what it was to struggle in the darkness sometimes becoming overwhelmed by the winds of deep depression. However,  just as Jesus chose Peter to walk on the water God chose William Cowper to give us the words of the hymn "God moves in a Mysterious Way."

God moves in a mysterious way
His wonders to perform;
He plants His footsteps in the sea,
And rides upon the storm.

Deep in unfathomalbe mines
Of never failing skill
He treasures up His bright designs
And works His sovereign will.

Ye fearful saints, fresh courage take;
The clouds ye so much dread
Are big with mercy and shall break
In blessings on your head.

Judge not the Lord by feeble sense,
But trust Him for His grace;
Behind a frowning providence
He hides a smiling face.

His purposes will ripen fast,
Unfolding every hour;
The bud may have a bitter taste,
But sweet will be the flower.

Blind unbelief is sure to err
And scan His work in vain;
God is His own interpreter,
And He will make it plain.

And so Lord, I am aware of the darkness, I feel the wind and the rain but I also hear Your voice saying, "Come!" Because You are Lord of storm as well as Lord of my life I choose to come.



Friday, November 2, 2012

The Story Behind the Fading Pictures

There are boxes filled with pictures all over my Living Room floor. As I look through these pictures I am aware that most of the people I'm looking at are no longer alive yet when the pictures was taken they were young and vivacious. I think that's why I woke up this morning thinking about these verses; "A voice says,'Cry!' And I said, 'What shall I cry?' All flesh is grass, and all beauty is like the flower of the field. The grass withers, the flower fades when the breath of the LORD blows on it; surely the people are grass. The grass withers, the flower fades, but the word of our God will stand forever." Isaiah 40:6-8

I have counted at least seven places in the Scriptures where it talks about a man's life being like a fleeting shadow or a mere phantom as he goes to and fro and yet in these same passages I often find God offering comfort. The comfort is found in the contrast between who we are and who God is. In the same chapter of the Bible that I quoted above I find this description of God; "Have you not known? Have you not heard? The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He does not faint or grow weary; and His understanding is unsearchable."

There is another picture that has always filled me with wonder. This same everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth whose understanding is unsearchable is spoken of in Ephesians. In Ephesians I see a picture of something that took place before the foundation of the world. "Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places, even as he chose us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before him. In love he predestined us for adoption through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will, to the praise of his glorious grace, with which he has blessed us in the Beloved." (Ephesians 1:3-6)

These pictures of people whom I have loved remind me of how fleeting life is. Their life here on earth is now a memory, very much like the flowers that were blooming in my yard yesterday before the frost came last night. However, the word of God that remains forever shows me a much bigger picture. "For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life." (John 3:16) When Ma Belle was alive she told me that the only thing she wanted said at her funeral was the message of eternal life. And so these pictures that fill my Living Room remind me not only of the brevity of life but also of the eternal life promised in God's word to those who believe.

Father, I have been reminded so much lately that I my life here on earth is temporary and yet I am filled with hope when I read in Your Word about the love You have lavished on me. I grieve for those I can now only see in photographs but I don't grieve like those who have no hope because I believe in the eternal life given through faith in Your Son.

Thursday, November 1, 2012

Release

I don't remember exactly when my fingers went numb but I kept hoping that if I ignored the problem it would go away. I was wrong. I began not only having numbness but difficulty using my hands particularly my right hand. Then the pain came, waking me up at night. Finally, I went to the doctor and he explained that the median nerve going through the carpal tunnel in my wrist was being compressed. He said it would require surgery where he would cut into the ligament that was pressing on the nerve. He said if I left it untreated the nerve could be permanently damaged, causing weakness, numbness, and tingling. His last words to me where, "I recommend you have release surgery."

"See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no "root of bitterness" springs up and causes trouble, and by it many become defiled." ( Hebrew 12:15) Bitterness in my spiritual life is like the ligament that is pressing on the nerve leading to my hand because bitterness can cause me to fail to receive God's grace. Without God's grace flowing freely in my life I'm as useless as a hand in pain that doesn't work.

I had the surgery done a couple of weeks ago. I was unable to cut through my own wrist and then cut through the tendon to release the nerve. However, I did participate. First, I admitted I had a problem. Then I submitted to the surgery it was done while I was awake. I did not get off the table but stayed there while the surgeon released my nerve.

I find regularly in my Spiritual life that roots of bitterness have begun to get a strangle hold on different areas of my life. I don't always deal with them right away I really want them to just go away. But when the pain and weakness gets to the place where I can't ignore it anymore I come to the Great Physician for help. My responsibility is to humble myself and accept the discipline He chooses to bring so that I can be healed.

Oh Heavenly Father, You are the Great Physician I humbly come to You today and ask that you would examine my heart and show me where bitterness has gained a strangle hold. I submit myself to Your discipline so that I can know full release.