Saturday, September 21, 2013

What Would It Look Like?

I've been thinking about something lately and wondering what it would look like if I really put into practice what I'm reading.

I'm studying in Philippians and I came to the verse that says, "You must have the same attitude that Christ Jesus had." From there it goes on to tell how Jesus didn't cling to his equality with God. Instead he gave up his divine privileges and took the humble position of a slave and was born as a human being. It didn't stop there because he humbled himself in obedience to God and died. He died a criminal's death on the cross. So, what would it look like in my life if I had this same attitude of humility?

Yesterday as I continued to meditate on, "What would it really look like if I had the same attitude as Christ Jesus?" I read Isaiah 53. I read it in the morning and right before I went to bed last night. This morning I woke thinking about it. "Yet it was our weaknesses he carried; it was our sorrows that weighed him down. And we thought his troubles were a punishment from God, a punishment for his own sins! But he was pierced for our rebellion, crushed for our sins. He was beaten so we could be whole. He was whipped so we could be healed. All of us, like sheep, have strayed away. We have left God's path to follow our own. Yet the LORD laid on him the sins of us all." (Isaiah 53:4-6) So, what would it look like in my life if I had the same attitude as Christ Jesus and I was willing to love my enemy and do good to those who hurt me?

This is another thing I've been thinking about, one of the themes in Philippians is joy. So where was Jesus' joy when, "He was led like a lamb to the slaughter...unjustly condemned...struck down for the rebellion of my people...buried like a criminal...crushed." (Isaiah 53:9-11) I found the answer in Hebrews 12:2 "Because of the joy awaiting him, he endured the cross, disregarding the shame." So what would my life be like if I had the same attitude as Christ Jesus and I looked beyond the moment and lived my life based on eternity?

There are those in history who have chosen to live their lives this way. Hebrews 12:1 says the world wasn't worthy of them it also says they are a "huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith." I find in Hebrews 12 what it would look like if I really chose to have the same attitude as Christ Jesus. It would mean that I chose to run with endurance the race that God set before me just like Jesus did. It would also mean that I kept my eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects my faith.

Lord I want to obey Your word and have the same attitude as Christ Jesus. I am not naturally humbly, I don't find it natural to love my enemies but I do believe that if Your words commands me to do something You will give me the ability to do it.

Monday, September 16, 2013

During the Fourth Watch of the Night

It's interesting to me how I can be so tired that I can hardly wait until bedtime and then find myself fully awake at 3 A.M. I don't want to be awake at 3 A.M. Not just because I'm not finished sleeping but because usually if I wake at 3 A.M. it's because my subconscious has brought to the surface the stuff I didn't want to think about during the day.

So this morning at 3 A.M. when I woke up with the feeling of being drowned by the things I couldn't control I was reminded of something I read. When Jesus had fed the five thousand he made his disciples get into a boat and go before him to the other side, to Bethsaida, while he dismissed the crowd. "And when evening came, the boat was out on the sea, and he was alone on the land. And he saw they were making headway painfully, for the wind was against them. And about the fourth watch of the night he came to them walking on the sea." (Mark 6:48) The fourth watch of the night is between 3 A.M. and 6 A.M.

In the darkness that accompanies the fourth watch of the night I often feel like I am fighting a losing battle. I winds of life are blowing me off course, I can't see where I'm going nor do I have control over the boat I'm in. It was during the exhaustion of the fourth watch when the disciples saw Jesus walking to them on the water and they were terrified. Jesus spoke and said,"Take heart; it is I. Do not be afraid." (Mark 6:50)

Two thoughts came to me during my own early morning hours. First, the disciples were utterly astounded when Jesus got into the boat and the wind ceased. He was able to both walk on the waves of the storm and make the storm cease. My other thought was that their plan was to go to Bethsaida but the wind blew them off course but not off his course, "When they had crossed over, they came to land at Gennesaret and moored to the shore."(Mark 6:53)

Lord Jesus when I am struggling with the storms in my life during the fourth watch of the night help me to remember that I have a Savior that is able to not only calm the storm but walk on the waves in the storm. Thank You also for using the storms to put me at the destination of Your choosing.

Saturday, September 14, 2013

Being Part of Someonelse's Story

In the front of her journal she wrote,"God takes the garbage of our lives and makes it into the compost from which to grow others." -unknown-

My friend carried around the weight of so much garbage. She had always felt unwanted. Maybe that's because her mother had told her she was an accident and that her birth had ruined her life. Maybe she felt that way because when she was twelve her mother had sent her off to live with her mentally ill, abusive father with a note that said, "I don't want her anymore. It's your turn to deal with her."

If often happens when a child is thrust out into the world feeling unloved and unwanted that they make choices that others who have known the tender love of a family would never think to make and so it was with my friend.

When my husband and I first began our home we took to heart the words from Psalm 68:6 "God places the lonely in families; he sets the prisoners free and gives them joy." We asked God to use the family He was giving us to be a family where He could place the lonely. That is how Loraine became Aunt Loraine to my family.

Loraine came to a Bible Study I was teaching. She had already become a Christian when I met her but still she suffered with the garbage of her past. She also suffered from trust issues because she had been abandoned and abused as child by those who should have protected her.

One day when Loraine was in my home she asked if she could talk to me. We sat together on a swing in my backyard and she began to tell me things that had plagued her, things she believed that if anyone knew about them she would be forever driven away. As I listened to her I felt like I heard the Holy Spirit telling me to wash her feet. I thought this was odd but the idea would not go away so that evening I knelt before her and washed her feet.

After Loraine died I found her journal. I could hear her voice as I read,"Who am I. who is Loraine, without family identity--who am I? What can come of this quest for healing? Is healing really possible for someone questioning the power that heals? Oh God, I don't know what to believe."  But something happened on June 28th I obeyed an odd urging from God's Spirit and I washed my friends feet.

June 28th Amazing things happened to me today. This afternoon Sarah and I sat in the swing talking and sharing and I shared, risking our friendship(in my mind) I felt dirty and awful, and shamed but I needed to have someone close, besides my therapist, that I could say these things to and not be rejected by them. Sarah listened, comforted and shared some things of her own. I cried and then we went on with our activity. Later she said there was something she wanted to do after everyone went to bed. After supper I asked her what it was she said, "In response to what you told me, I'm going to wash your feet." I was flabbergasted, totally, and then so touched  I began to cry. It was an act of love I have never experienced before and I was totally humbled by the experience-- there on her knees my dear sweet friend, washed my feet. It was an experience I will never forget. It reached in and crumbled a wall of distrust I never expected to end in this life. I went to bed in tears and awed by such an act. But God blessed it because I saw a person loving me, honoring me, caring as no one ever had. It softened my resistance and broke my heart toward God. I went to bed praying praising and thanking God." 

Heavenly Father, thank You for letting me be part of another person's story. Thank You for placing the lonely in families. Thank You for setting prisoners of guilt and shame free to experience joy. And thank You for being a Redeemer who takes the garbage of our lives and for using it as compost from which to grow others.




Thursday, September 12, 2013

Humbled by the Mystery

"There are those hearts, reader, that never mend again once they are broken. Or if they mend, they heal themselves in a crooked and lopsided way, as if sewn together by a careless craftsman."--Kate DiCamillo, The Tale of Despereaux So what do you do when you find your heart has become scarred?

Every year when I read through the Bible I find myself invited into the throne-room of Heaven on the day when the sons of God come to present themselves before the LORD. Every year I find myself ease dropping on a peculiar conversation. "And the LORD said to Satan, 'Have you considered my servant Job, there is none like him on the earth, a blameless and upright man, who fears God and turns away from evil?'"(Job 1:8) And every year I watch as the heart of Job is broken.

I don't really understand what's going on. I find this book uncomfortable and to be honest a bit painful. There are things that have happened in my own life that have broken my heart. Things that I don't understand. I look at Job's friends trying to make since of what has happened by blaming Job and hoping to put a little distance between who they are and who he is. They want to assure themselves that what happened to him could never happen to them.

I finished the book of Job today. I read carefully what the LORD said when He answered Job out of the whirlwind,"Who is this that darkens counsel by words without knowledge?"(Job 38:2) I'm always intrigued that the LORD doesn't tell Job what we read in the first chapter of this book. What I do see in God's response to Job is that healing, true healing can only come with humility. What I see is that I have been invited to be part of a mystery that is bigger than I am.

LORD I come before You today and acknowledge that I don't really understand everything that is going on in my life but I trust You. I want to walk humbly before You so that when my heart has become broken it won't become hard and scarred by my pride. I believe that when You heal my heart I can say like Job, "I had heard of you by the hearing of the ear, but now my eye sees you."(Job 42:5)

Saturday, September 7, 2013

The Story Behind the Picture

It was a small black and white picture in a little photo album but the story it told was so very powerful.

Once upon a time a little girl went to live with her Aunt Rubye when she was eighteen months old. She was cocooned by the love of Aunt Rubye and Uncle Ralph. On Sunday Uncle Ralph would preach and Aunt Rubye would gently whisper to her niece while turning her to face the pulpit, "Listen, God is wanting to speak to you." In their home the little girl was safe and secure and happy but she couldn't stay there.

The small black and white picture in the little photo album is of Aunt Ruby standing in front of the little girl's picture praying. If Aunt Rubye could have kept her niece in the safety of her own home she would have, but she couldn't. The same Aunt Rubye who taught the little girl to listen to God also spoke to God on her behalf. She understood what it felt like to have your heart broken but she also knew what it meant to turn you face to the only one who could help.

Aunt Rubye rejoiced in hope praying while the tears flowed freely. Her confidence and expectation were solidly based in the God to whom she directed her prayers. She had learned long ago to hear his voice. She had learned to be patient in tribulation and to be constant in prayer and so night after night she kept her vigil.

I too am part of this story because that little girl grew up to be my friend. She has shared her story with me in small doses because with the story came the memory of so much pain. But the story I see in my friend is one of redemption. I marvel at the grief my friend encountered as a child because today she is one of the most godly women I know. For almost forty years we have walked together as friends. I am a witness to God's faithful answer to Aunt Rubye's prayers.

Father, thank you for Aunt Rubye. Please help me to follow her example. When I am faced with the things that break my heart help me to remember to rejoice in hope and be patient in tribulation. Please remind me Father to always be faithful to lift my face and my prayers to You because You are faithful to hear.

Wednesday, September 4, 2013

The Honor Challenge

"The cinnamon challenge is a viral internet challenge. The objective of the challenge is to swallow a spoonful of ground cinnamon in under 60 seconds without drinking anything, then upload the video to the Internet. The challenge is extremely difficult and carries substantial health risks because the cinnamon coats and dries the mouth and throat, resulting in coughing, gagging, vomiting and inhaling of cinnamon, leading to throat irritation, breathing difficulties, and risk of pneumonia." This is what I found on Wikipedia when I typed in cinnamon challenge.

Yesterday morning I woke up with a Bible verse going through my mind, actually I've been thinking about it for sometime now, but yesterday it was like a challenge. "Outdo one another in showing honor." (Romans 12:10) I decided to take the challenge, I mean how hard could it be to outdo someone in showing honor and for that matter how hard can it be to swallow a spoonful of ground cinnamon in under 60 seconds? Some challenges are more difficult than they appear.

The first problem I encountered in my "Honor Challenge" was that no sooner had I decided to did it out of nowhere a parade of people who have offended me appeared in my mind. This was very frustrating because the very thought of them made me angry! Then into my negative thoughts came, "Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good. Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor."(Romans 12:9,10) My simple prayer response was, "Surely, God this can't apply to them!"

This morning I watched someone I know taking the cinnamon challenge. I watched as his face turned red and tears shoot out of his eyes, I didn't know tears could shoot out of someones face like that! This morning I have had the opportunity to put someones needs ahead of my own and I identified with the young man swallowing the cinnamon. As I continue with the "Honor Challenge" I continue to recognize my need of the transforming power of God.

Lord, I thought my love was more genuine than it is but when I try to honor others above myself the truth comes out. I can't do this in my own strength, anymore than I could swallow a spoon full of cinnamon without water in 60 seconds. Thank for Your promise that if I ask anything according to Your will I can be sure that You hear me and will give me my request.

Monday, September 2, 2013

Healing the Brain's Tranquility System

"Every body better memorize and remember this." He spoke with such authority he caught my attention. The man speaking was Archibald Hart, Dean Emeritus and Senior Professor of Psychology at Fuller Theological Seminary. He was talking about the function of cortisol also known as the stress hormone. He explained that the function of cortisol was for "flight or fight" when we are being threatened. However, he went on to say that when levels are to high it results in depression and can also cause panic and anxiety disorders because it blocks receptors in the tranquility system of the brain.

So what can you do when life seems out of control when your brain is being bathed with cortisol and you know with certainty that the tranquility system is not only blocked but feels like it is broken?!? The answer made me smile. It made me smile because I have found this to be true in my own life. What brings healing and restoration are the spiritual disciplines of silence and solitude.

When life seems out of control how can you find silence and solitude?  God gave us an invitation to "Be still, and know that I am God."(Psalm 46:10) The stillness and peace you can experience when the world around you is at rest is not what this psalm is talking about. Instead this psalm refers to not being afraid, "though the earth gives way, though the mountains be moved into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam, though the mountains tremble at its swelling." The tranquility that is offered in this psalm is in spite of  a time when, "the nations rage, the kingdoms totter."

The Hebrew word for "be still" is rapha. It means to be weak, to let go, to release. In this Psalm I find an invitation to surrender in order to know that God is in control. I have to give up trusting in myself before I can experience the glory of knowing God's all sufficiency. Sometimes God takes me into the heart of my greatest fears and there He shows me that He is my refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.

Father, you have taught me that in all things I am to give thanks. I confess that when You lead me to places where the earth I stand on gives way and the mountains I use for navigation are moved my first response is fear. Thank You that because You are my refuge and my strength I can find stillness in the midst of the storms of this life. Because the LORD of hosts is with me I can experience tranquility of mind and a peace that passes understanding.