I see the memory as if it was a scene in a play I am watching. I cannot picture where I was when I was given the CD. I cannot picture who it was who gave it to me. The gift was given without a word of explanation. It wasn't new; in fact the CD was 16 years old. I found myself simply holding this plastic case in my hand and saying thank you.
I didn't have an opportunity to listen to the music for almost a week. I still haven't listened to all the songs. It's not because I don't like what I've heard so far. It's because I've been captivated by one of the songs. The song has become a prayer. The prayer has become a lens through which I view everything around me.
When I finished Daniel last Spring I was asked to teach the book of Revelation. To be honest I felt completely inadequate. To prepare myself I began to listen to Revelation. I listened to it daily--while I was walking, while I was working around the house, while I was resting. I began to picture the prophecies that John saw.
Our class has been using a Precept study of Revelation. For several weeks the instruction has simply been to draw what is being described in the prophecy. Wait a minute, did I just use the word simply? There is nothing simple about this! However, something has happened as I have wrestled to capture what is written on the pages of this prophecy. I find myself being drawn more deeply into what I am reading.
I have listened to Revelation. I have read through Revelation over and over. I have used my imagination to picture the words I have heard and read. Finally, I have in a very childlike way drawn what my mind now sees. What I have seen is God's glory. What I have tasted is living water. The truth of God's Kingdom has taken up residence in both my heart and mind.
Let The Weight Of Your Glory Fall
Spirit of the Sovereign Lord
Come and make Your presence known
Reveal the glory of the Living God
Let the weight of Your glory cover us
Let the life of Your river flow
Let the truth of Your kingdom reign in us
Let the weight of Your glory
Let the weight of Your glory fall
Steve Merkel
Friday, March 2, 2018
Wednesday, January 24, 2018
When You Lose Your Way
It was dark when I left home, so very dark. I was going to meet my daughter at her shop. It is only a twenty minute drive. I chose to take the route my husband had showed me using the back roads. But it was early in the morning, the sun had not yet risen and it was dark, so very dark.
As soon as I turned onto the back roads I began to wonder if this was really the best route. It was so dark that I was unable to see any familiar landmarks. My headlights showed only the road directly in front of me, so when the road split I wasn’t sure if I had gone the correct way. I could feel myself gripping the steering wheel tighter and tighter. I could feel the tension in my shoulders and neck as I drove further and further into the darkness.
Finally, I came to the conclusion that I was lost. I didn’t know where I was, nor did I have any idea how to get back onto the right path. I carefully pulled over to the side of the road and turned on my GPS. But I was so far out in the country that I had no service. I sat there for a moment feeling very lost and trying to think of what to do next.
Though I was still unable to see anything around me, what I knew was that I was going in the wrong direction. I knew that if I kept going the wrong way I’d simply get more and more lost, so I carefully turned my car around. To be honest, I still didn’t know where I was, but I was hoping that perhaps I would get to a place where my GPS would work. Finally, I was able to connect. It took me one hour to make a twenty minute trip. But at last I finally made my destination. Had I continued to go in the wrong direction I would have never found where I was going.
In the book of Mark the first words we hear Jesus say are, “The time is fulfilled, and the kingdom of God has come near. Repent and believe in the good news” ( Mark 1:15)! The word repent means turn around. If you're going in the wrong direction you won’t get there. You may feel like I did when I was lost in the dark on unfamiliar roads and wasn’t sure how to get back. Here is the good news: Jesus came to seek and save the lost. You can only truly know how good that news is if you have experienced how it feels to be lost and alone in the darkness, going in a direction that is taking you away from the kingdom of God.
As soon as I turned onto the back roads I began to wonder if this was really the best route. It was so dark that I was unable to see any familiar landmarks. My headlights showed only the road directly in front of me, so when the road split I wasn’t sure if I had gone the correct way. I could feel myself gripping the steering wheel tighter and tighter. I could feel the tension in my shoulders and neck as I drove further and further into the darkness.
Finally, I came to the conclusion that I was lost. I didn’t know where I was, nor did I have any idea how to get back onto the right path. I carefully pulled over to the side of the road and turned on my GPS. But I was so far out in the country that I had no service. I sat there for a moment feeling very lost and trying to think of what to do next.
Though I was still unable to see anything around me, what I knew was that I was going in the wrong direction. I knew that if I kept going the wrong way I’d simply get more and more lost, so I carefully turned my car around. To be honest, I still didn’t know where I was, but I was hoping that perhaps I would get to a place where my GPS would work. Finally, I was able to connect. It took me one hour to make a twenty minute trip. But at last I finally made my destination. Had I continued to go in the wrong direction I would have never found where I was going.
In the book of Mark the first words we hear Jesus say are, “The time is fulfilled, and the kingdom of God has come near. Repent and believe in the good news” ( Mark 1:15)! The word repent means turn around. If you're going in the wrong direction you won’t get there. You may feel like I did when I was lost in the dark on unfamiliar roads and wasn’t sure how to get back. Here is the good news: Jesus came to seek and save the lost. You can only truly know how good that news is if you have experienced how it feels to be lost and alone in the darkness, going in a direction that is taking you away from the kingdom of God.
Tuesday, December 12, 2017
Found
I'm not sure when it happened. I had set up a miniature nativity scene on my kitchen table; it was complete with a little stable, sheep, a donkey, wise men, Joseph, Mary, and of course the baby in the manger. But somehow, in my hurry and flurry, when I was cleaning I must have thrown the baby out! I couldn't find him anywhere! So what good is a nativity scene without the baby?
I rearranged the scene and instead of the having the characters looking down at the Prince of Peace I positioned them so that they were all looking anxiously around the table for the lost baby. Looking at the chaos on my table I was reminded of the prophecy in Isaiah, "See, the virgin will become pregnant and give birth to a son, and they will name Him Emmanuel, which is translated, "God is with us."
As I thought about what this means I was reminded of something that had happened earlier this year. I was confronted by a situation that overwhelmed me. I saw no solution. I felt afraid. As I began to pray I heard in my spirit the words from Isaiah, "Do not fear, for I am with you." I turned my thoughts away from the situation that brought me anxiety and focused instead on Emmanuel.
In the intimacy of prayer I heard His voice, "Do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." I felt my weakness exchanged for His strength, my fear was replaced by His peace.
Sometimes I have a level of anxiety that comes with the Christmas season. It's a feeling of being incomplete, not enough. The missing baby in the manger caused me to pause and reflect on what it means to have an ever present God. A God who was, who is, and who is coming again. It caused me to think about the Almighty God who is the Prince of Peace who came as a shepherd to find me. I was the one lost, not Him. As I meditate on this truth I hear deep in my spirit, "Do not be afraid, I am with you."
I rearranged the scene and instead of the having the characters looking down at the Prince of Peace I positioned them so that they were all looking anxiously around the table for the lost baby. Looking at the chaos on my table I was reminded of the prophecy in Isaiah, "See, the virgin will become pregnant and give birth to a son, and they will name Him Emmanuel, which is translated, "God is with us."
As I thought about what this means I was reminded of something that had happened earlier this year. I was confronted by a situation that overwhelmed me. I saw no solution. I felt afraid. As I began to pray I heard in my spirit the words from Isaiah, "Do not fear, for I am with you." I turned my thoughts away from the situation that brought me anxiety and focused instead on Emmanuel.
In the intimacy of prayer I heard His voice, "Do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." I felt my weakness exchanged for His strength, my fear was replaced by His peace.
Sometimes I have a level of anxiety that comes with the Christmas season. It's a feeling of being incomplete, not enough. The missing baby in the manger caused me to pause and reflect on what it means to have an ever present God. A God who was, who is, and who is coming again. It caused me to think about the Almighty God who is the Prince of Peace who came as a shepherd to find me. I was the one lost, not Him. As I meditate on this truth I hear deep in my spirit, "Do not be afraid, I am with you."
Friday, November 24, 2017
The Rest of the Story
I opened the sliding glass door into the night coolness and was greeted by the smell of "good cigars." The fire was blazing and the conversation was animated. I have a very large family with very large personalities. The topic was politics, even though it had been decided ahead of time by the host that that topic was off limits. However, since he was the one holding forth I figured he must have changed his mind. Everyone was friendly even though they didn't agree with each other.
I listened a while in the darkness, but because of my ever encroaching deafness I found it difficult to follow what was being said. I could hear the hum of their voices rising and falling, but my attention was drawn to the starlit sky and I let my mind move in that direction.
"Then I saw heaven opened, and there was a white horse! Its rider is called Faithful and True, and in righteousness He judges and makes war. His eyes were like fiery flame, and on His head were many crowns, He had a name written that no one knows except Himself. He wore a robe stained with blood, and His name is called the Word of God. The armies that were in heaven followed Him on white horses,wearing pure white linen. From His mouth came a sharp sword, so that with it He might strike the nations. He will shepherd them with an iron scepter. He will also trample the wine-press of the fierce anger of God, the Almighty. And on His robe and on His thigh He has a name written: KING OF KINGS AND LORD OF LORDS" (Revelation 19:11-16).
As I drove home I was aware that the Christmas season was in full swing. I was beginning to see mangers everywhere. I thought with wonder about Jesus who is, "the image of the invisible God, the firstborn over all creation; because by Him everything was created, in heaven and on earth, the visible and the invisible, whether thrones or dominion or rulers or authorities--all things have been created through Him and for Him" (Colossians 1:15-16). What a picture of incredible grace! That this same Jesus would humble Himself to be born into poverty--such a picture of love that stoops down and offers salvation to those who hung Him on the cross.
I thought about this picture of grace, but then I could almost hear a shout from heaven and I thought about His glory. "Look! He is coming with the clouds, and every eye will see Him, including those who pieced Him. And all the families of the earth will mourn over him. This is certain. Amen" (Revelation 1:7). My mind, my heart, my soul, my spirit are filled with wonder as I meditate on His grace and glory.
I listened a while in the darkness, but because of my ever encroaching deafness I found it difficult to follow what was being said. I could hear the hum of their voices rising and falling, but my attention was drawn to the starlit sky and I let my mind move in that direction.
"Then I saw heaven opened, and there was a white horse! Its rider is called Faithful and True, and in righteousness He judges and makes war. His eyes were like fiery flame, and on His head were many crowns, He had a name written that no one knows except Himself. He wore a robe stained with blood, and His name is called the Word of God. The armies that were in heaven followed Him on white horses,wearing pure white linen. From His mouth came a sharp sword, so that with it He might strike the nations. He will shepherd them with an iron scepter. He will also trample the wine-press of the fierce anger of God, the Almighty. And on His robe and on His thigh He has a name written: KING OF KINGS AND LORD OF LORDS" (Revelation 19:11-16).
As I drove home I was aware that the Christmas season was in full swing. I was beginning to see mangers everywhere. I thought with wonder about Jesus who is, "the image of the invisible God, the firstborn over all creation; because by Him everything was created, in heaven and on earth, the visible and the invisible, whether thrones or dominion or rulers or authorities--all things have been created through Him and for Him" (Colossians 1:15-16). What a picture of incredible grace! That this same Jesus would humble Himself to be born into poverty--such a picture of love that stoops down and offers salvation to those who hung Him on the cross.
I thought about this picture of grace, but then I could almost hear a shout from heaven and I thought about His glory. "Look! He is coming with the clouds, and every eye will see Him, including those who pieced Him. And all the families of the earth will mourn over him. This is certain. Amen" (Revelation 1:7). My mind, my heart, my soul, my spirit are filled with wonder as I meditate on His grace and glory.
Saturday, September 30, 2017
I first started thinking about this thirst for life and meaning when I read an article about a brain surgery. It was beautifully written. Although it was a different brain surgery than the one I had had I could still identify with some of the things described. Towards the end of the article the author asked the surgeon if he believed in God, in life beyond the dead. He responded by simply shaking his head and replying, "This is it."
The rest of the article seemed colored by this interchange. Without a belief in God even though the surgeon was seemingly able to rule over life and death in the end he described life as meaningless. As I read this I remembered the words of Ecclesiastes 2:11, "When I considered all that I had labored to achieve, I found everything to be futile and a pursuit of the wind. There was nothing to be gained under the sun." Life lived under the sun believing that there is nothing beyond death is as empty as chasing the wind.
I spent last week visiting my daughter Abigail in the hospital because she is on bed rest with her pregnancy. One day I received two calls; each call was telling me of the death of a friend. The next day I was told that another friend who had spent two weeks with me at Christmas had been given only a month to lives. With all this going on I woke up at 4 am thinking about this thirst that we all have for life and purpose.
Wednesday, September 27, 2017
A Battle to Believe
Even though it happened over thirty years ago the memory is still fresh.
I woke up as if someone had just dumped a bucket of ice water on my head. In my dream I had seen someone abducting my daughter. The nightmare was so real that I could see her face staring at me from the rear window of the car as it drove away. My heart pounded in my chest as I stood on the gravel road, helplessly watching my daughter being taken away from me. My eyes shot open and I ran to my little girl's room only to find her sleeping peacefully in her bed. It had been a dream, only a dream. However, it awoke a battle of doubt inside me.
I was now wide awake and facing my fears because I now had to confront the reality that, even though my child was sleeping safe in her bed, there were other children who were not safe. There were grieving parents whose children had been taken from them. I began to pace the floor tormented with these thoughts. "Lord!" I prayed, "I want to trust you, but I don't know how!"
I prayed and paced for most of the night. It was an honest battle with doubt. I now believe that true faith isn't an absence of fear or doubt, but instead it's when you humbly bring these struggles to the throne of grace. That night I prayed and cried until I received mercy. The core of my fear came from the ancient doubt presented by the flickering tongue of the serpent. "Is God really good? Can you really trust Him?"
That night I kept going into my daughter's room. Part of my pleading with God was this, "Lord, I trust you as long as I can see that my child is safe. But I know that faith is being sure of what you hope for and confident about what you don't see. I want to have this kind of faith, but tonight I don't!" My struggle wasn't only with my doubt but with my desire to have faith. Finally, I felt the peace of God and I heard His voice in answer to my cry, "Sarah, I will give you the grace to trust me tonight, and I will give the grace to face anything I allow to come into your life."
This happened over thirty years ago. I have found God's promise fulfilled over and over as He has met me with both mercy and grace to face many trails and heartaches. I am grateful that I do not have to pretend that I am strong when I am really weak, but instead I am invited to bring my weakness, my doubts and my fears before the throne of grace and there I find mercy and grace to help in my time of need. He is faithful. He is good. He is worthy of my trust.
I woke up as if someone had just dumped a bucket of ice water on my head. In my dream I had seen someone abducting my daughter. The nightmare was so real that I could see her face staring at me from the rear window of the car as it drove away. My heart pounded in my chest as I stood on the gravel road, helplessly watching my daughter being taken away from me. My eyes shot open and I ran to my little girl's room only to find her sleeping peacefully in her bed. It had been a dream, only a dream. However, it awoke a battle of doubt inside me.
I was now wide awake and facing my fears because I now had to confront the reality that, even though my child was sleeping safe in her bed, there were other children who were not safe. There were grieving parents whose children had been taken from them. I began to pace the floor tormented with these thoughts. "Lord!" I prayed, "I want to trust you, but I don't know how!"
I prayed and paced for most of the night. It was an honest battle with doubt. I now believe that true faith isn't an absence of fear or doubt, but instead it's when you humbly bring these struggles to the throne of grace. That night I prayed and cried until I received mercy. The core of my fear came from the ancient doubt presented by the flickering tongue of the serpent. "Is God really good? Can you really trust Him?"
That night I kept going into my daughter's room. Part of my pleading with God was this, "Lord, I trust you as long as I can see that my child is safe. But I know that faith is being sure of what you hope for and confident about what you don't see. I want to have this kind of faith, but tonight I don't!" My struggle wasn't only with my doubt but with my desire to have faith. Finally, I felt the peace of God and I heard His voice in answer to my cry, "Sarah, I will give you the grace to trust me tonight, and I will give the grace to face anything I allow to come into your life."
This happened over thirty years ago. I have found God's promise fulfilled over and over as He has met me with both mercy and grace to face many trails and heartaches. I am grateful that I do not have to pretend that I am strong when I am really weak, but instead I am invited to bring my weakness, my doubts and my fears before the throne of grace and there I find mercy and grace to help in my time of need. He is faithful. He is good. He is worthy of my trust.
Friday, September 22, 2017
"Come up here"
"Utterly meaningless! Everything is meaningless!"
"Absolute futility! Everything is futile!"
"Absolutely pointless, everything is pointless!"
All of these are different translations to what Ecclesiastes describes as life simply lived, "under the sun." As I read these words I can almost hear the words to a song in Les Miserables playing in my mind.
"Turning, turning, turning through the years
Minutes into hours and hours into years
Nothing changes, nothing ever can
Round and round the roundabout
and back where you began!
Round and round and back where you began!
How very depressing it would be if this was the only way to look at life lived here on earth, from birth to death. But there is another way. I've been thinking about this a lot lately. Two years ago today I had brain surgery. The last two years have been very hard and life-altering. However, I have found that the more difficult my life has become, the more I need to focus my attention on life "beyond the sun."
This Summer while recovering from my sixth surgery I decided to use my time studying the book of Revelation. I was only on the third verse of the first chapter when I came to these words, "Blessed is the one who reads the words of this prophecy, and blessed are those who hear it and take to heart what is written in it, because the time is near." This word for blessed means "possessing the favor of God, that state of being marked by fullness from God."*
In this book that unveils God's eternal plan there is an invitation, "After this I looked, and there in heaven was an open door. The first voice that I heard speaking to me like a trumpet said, "Come up here, and I will show you what must take place after this" (Revelation 4:1). This invitation comes with a blessing to see beyond the sun all the way to the throne of God.
This Summer as I read and reread the words of this prophecy I felt the full circle of God's love. In the beginning God had come in the cool of the evening seeking fellowship with His creation, but the fellowship was broken by sin and rebellion. Death, sorrow and grief became part of the human experience.
In the book of Revelation there is the promise of a new heaven and a new earth. God at last will dwell with His people. "He will wipe away every tear from their eyes. Death will exist no longer, grief, crying, and pain will exist no longer, because the previous things have passed away. Then the One seated on the throne said, "Look I am making everything new" (Revelation 4:5).
Life is not meaningless. Life is not futile. Life is not pointless. Look carefully; read the book of Revelation and you might just find an open door that will reveal a picture of what is above the sun.
* Spiros Zodhiates, The Complete Word Study Dictionary, New Testament
"Absolute futility! Everything is futile!"
"Absolutely pointless, everything is pointless!"
All of these are different translations to what Ecclesiastes describes as life simply lived, "under the sun." As I read these words I can almost hear the words to a song in Les Miserables playing in my mind.
"Turning, turning, turning through the years
Minutes into hours and hours into years
Nothing changes, nothing ever can
Round and round the roundabout
and back where you began!
Round and round and back where you began!
How very depressing it would be if this was the only way to look at life lived here on earth, from birth to death. But there is another way. I've been thinking about this a lot lately. Two years ago today I had brain surgery. The last two years have been very hard and life-altering. However, I have found that the more difficult my life has become, the more I need to focus my attention on life "beyond the sun."
This Summer while recovering from my sixth surgery I decided to use my time studying the book of Revelation. I was only on the third verse of the first chapter when I came to these words, "Blessed is the one who reads the words of this prophecy, and blessed are those who hear it and take to heart what is written in it, because the time is near." This word for blessed means "possessing the favor of God, that state of being marked by fullness from God."*
In this book that unveils God's eternal plan there is an invitation, "After this I looked, and there in heaven was an open door. The first voice that I heard speaking to me like a trumpet said, "Come up here, and I will show you what must take place after this" (Revelation 4:1). This invitation comes with a blessing to see beyond the sun all the way to the throne of God.
This Summer as I read and reread the words of this prophecy I felt the full circle of God's love. In the beginning God had come in the cool of the evening seeking fellowship with His creation, but the fellowship was broken by sin and rebellion. Death, sorrow and grief became part of the human experience.
In the book of Revelation there is the promise of a new heaven and a new earth. God at last will dwell with His people. "He will wipe away every tear from their eyes. Death will exist no longer, grief, crying, and pain will exist no longer, because the previous things have passed away. Then the One seated on the throne said, "Look I am making everything new" (Revelation 4:5).
Life is not meaningless. Life is not futile. Life is not pointless. Look carefully; read the book of Revelation and you might just find an open door that will reveal a picture of what is above the sun.
* Spiros Zodhiates, The Complete Word Study Dictionary, New Testament
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