He stood for a moment before he spoke, silently looking into the eyes of his audience. "I can tell you God's will for your life." His audience was stunned by the audacity of his words yet each one of them leaned forward with anticipation. The preacher was speaking to college, graduate and doctrinal students and although they doubted the validity of his words they each craved to hear what he had to say.
"God has plainly stated in His word what His will for you is, 'Be holy, because I am holy.'" My son was in the audience that day. We have talked about the simplicity of the preacher's message and yet how it has profoundly impacted his life. I listened to Andrew and then shared with him a similar experience that I had had.
I was in my early twenty's my husband had finished seminary and both he and I were excited about the next chapter of our lives. There were so many possibilities open to us but which one was the right one? I had bought a thick book that I was hoping Steve would read that told how to discern the will of God.
At one point we were being interviewed by an older man who suddenly looked at me and said, "You do know, don't you, that God is far more concerned about what he is doing in you than with you?" I was highly insulted. I figured he just didn't know all I had to offer. I think my focus was wrong.
Why would the idea of being holy be considered simplistic? Why would I be insulted at the thought that God was more concerned with what He was doing in me than with me? I think the answer is found in the same book that says, "Be holy, because I am holy"(1 Peter 1:16) "You are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for His possession, so that you may proclaim the praises of the One who called you out of darkness into His marvelous light."(1 Peter 2:9) To understand holiness is to understand what it means to be called out of darkness into God's marvelous light. God's will is an internal transformation so that we can be His representatives in a dark world. It is God's will that we be sanctified so that we might be His sanctuary.
Friday, July 31, 2015
Wednesday, July 29, 2015
The Blessing of Being Broken
I sat in the nurse's office waiting for her. When she came in she quietly closed the door behind her and looked at me with sympathy and said, "I don't want you to be ashamed of who you are but I want you to understand that you are not like other people; from now on you can expect to be in and out of this mental hospital for the rest of your life." It was 1971. In the Spring of that year I had graduated from High School full of excitement about what my future held. In the fall of that year when all my friends were going off to college I was committed to a state mental hospital.
In 1971 state mental hospitals treated their inmates with heavy sedation. I listened to the words spoken to me through a thick haze of confusion and I wondered, "Who am I?" Earlier that year I had been filled with a since of destiny. I wanted only one thing out of my life. I wanted to serve God. But now I wondered, "Could God use broken things?"
I was broken but I took comfort in words of Vance Havner who said that it takes broken soil to produce a crop, broken clouds to give rain, broken bread to give strength. I chose to find my identity not in the words of the well meaning nurse but instead in the word of God. I chose to believe that God had chosen me in Christ before the foundation of the world. I chose to believe that I was God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that I should walk in them. But because I was broken I also understood that I could do nothing in my own strength. The service that I would offer to the God I love would be done not by my strength but his.
The nurse's bleak prediction of my life in and out of mental hospitals never materialized. However, my life has had many chapters of brokenness and each one has taught me to see more clearly what God has done for me than what I can do for God. Today I am experiencing a different kind of brokenness. Because of my brain tumor I have a loud and constant ringing in my head; sometimes I find this very distracting and it makes it hard to focus my thoughts. The tumor has also caused me to be partially deaf so in crowds I often find myself retreating because I'm unsure of what is being said. The tumor is on my balance nerve causing me to feel as if I just stepped off a boat. This constant feeling of motion also makes me feel slightly sea sick.
I am aware of my brokenness but I am also aware of the blessings that come from being broken. Alabaster is a white translucent mineral. Mary of Bethany had a beautiful alabaster jar which contained expensive ointment but the only way to release it was to break the jar. When the jar was broken the house was filled with the fragrance of the perfume and Mary was on her knees, having anointed Jesus' feet, she was now wiping them with her hair.
At eighteen I was filled with a since of destiny and a strong desire to serve God. I wanted to bring to him all that I was and use it to his glory! Brokenness has taught me to change my focus and instead of thinking about what I have to offer I have become more aware of the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness towards me in Christ Jesus. My prayer is that I would be like a broken alabaster jar spilling over with the fragrance of the love of God.
In 1971 state mental hospitals treated their inmates with heavy sedation. I listened to the words spoken to me through a thick haze of confusion and I wondered, "Who am I?" Earlier that year I had been filled with a since of destiny. I wanted only one thing out of my life. I wanted to serve God. But now I wondered, "Could God use broken things?"
I was broken but I took comfort in words of Vance Havner who said that it takes broken soil to produce a crop, broken clouds to give rain, broken bread to give strength. I chose to find my identity not in the words of the well meaning nurse but instead in the word of God. I chose to believe that God had chosen me in Christ before the foundation of the world. I chose to believe that I was God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that I should walk in them. But because I was broken I also understood that I could do nothing in my own strength. The service that I would offer to the God I love would be done not by my strength but his.
The nurse's bleak prediction of my life in and out of mental hospitals never materialized. However, my life has had many chapters of brokenness and each one has taught me to see more clearly what God has done for me than what I can do for God. Today I am experiencing a different kind of brokenness. Because of my brain tumor I have a loud and constant ringing in my head; sometimes I find this very distracting and it makes it hard to focus my thoughts. The tumor has also caused me to be partially deaf so in crowds I often find myself retreating because I'm unsure of what is being said. The tumor is on my balance nerve causing me to feel as if I just stepped off a boat. This constant feeling of motion also makes me feel slightly sea sick.
I am aware of my brokenness but I am also aware of the blessings that come from being broken. Alabaster is a white translucent mineral. Mary of Bethany had a beautiful alabaster jar which contained expensive ointment but the only way to release it was to break the jar. When the jar was broken the house was filled with the fragrance of the perfume and Mary was on her knees, having anointed Jesus' feet, she was now wiping them with her hair.
At eighteen I was filled with a since of destiny and a strong desire to serve God. I wanted to bring to him all that I was and use it to his glory! Brokenness has taught me to change my focus and instead of thinking about what I have to offer I have become more aware of the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness towards me in Christ Jesus. My prayer is that I would be like a broken alabaster jar spilling over with the fragrance of the love of God.
The Blessing of Being Broken
I sat in the nurse's office waiting for her. When she came in she quietly closed the door behind her and looked at me with sympathy and said, "I don't want you to be ashamed of who you are but I want you to understand that you are not like other people; from now on you can expect to be in and out of this mental hospital for the rest of your life." It was 1971. In the Spring of that year I had graduated from High School full of excitement about what my future held. In the fall of that year when all my friends were going off to college I was committed to a state mental hospital.
In 1971 state mental hospitals treated their inmates with heavy sedation. I listened to the words spoken to me through a thick haze of confusion and I wondered, "Who am I?" Earlier that year I had been filled with a since of destiny. I wanted only one thing out of my life. I wanted to serve God. But now I wondered, "Could God use broken things?"
I was broken but I took comfort in words of Vance Havner who said that it takes broken soil to produce a crop, broken clouds to give rain, broken bread to give strength. I chose to find my identity not in the words of the well meaning nurse but instead in the word of God. I chose to believe that God had chosen me in Christ before the foundation of the world. I chose to believe that I was God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that I should walk in them. But because I was broken I also understood that I could do nothing in my own strength. The service that I would offer to the God I love would be done not by my strength but his.
The nurse's bleak prediction of my life in and out of mental hospitals never materialized. However, my life has had many chapters of brokenness and each one has taught me to see more clearly what God has done for me than what I can do for God. Today I am experiencing a different kind of brokenness. Because of my brain tumor I have a loud and constant ringing in my head; sometimes I find this very distracting and it makes it hard to focus my thoughts. The tumor has also caused me to be partially deaf so in crowds I often find myself retreating because I'm unsure of what is being said. The tumor is on my balance nerve causing me to feel as if I just stepped off a boat. This constant feeling of motion also makes me feel slightly sea sick.
I am aware of my brokenness but I am also aware of the blessings that come from being broken. Alabaster is a white translucent mineral. Mary of Bethany had a beautiful alabaster jar which contained expensive ointment but the only way to release it was to break the jar. When the jar was broken the house was filled with the fragrance of the perfume and Mary was on her knees, having anointed Jesus' feet, she was now wiping them with her hair.
At eighteen I was filled with a since of destiny and a strong desire to serve God. I wanted to bring to him all that I was and use it to his glory! Brokenness has taught me to change my focus and instead of thinking about what I have to offer I have become more aware of the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness towards me in Christ Jesus. My prayer is that I would be like a broken alabaster jar spilling over with the fragrance of the love of God.
In 1971 state mental hospitals treated their inmates with heavy sedation. I listened to the words spoken to me through a thick haze of confusion and I wondered, "Who am I?" Earlier that year I had been filled with a since of destiny. I wanted only one thing out of my life. I wanted to serve God. But now I wondered, "Could God use broken things?"
I was broken but I took comfort in words of Vance Havner who said that it takes broken soil to produce a crop, broken clouds to give rain, broken bread to give strength. I chose to find my identity not in the words of the well meaning nurse but instead in the word of God. I chose to believe that God had chosen me in Christ before the foundation of the world. I chose to believe that I was God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that I should walk in them. But because I was broken I also understood that I could do nothing in my own strength. The service that I would offer to the God I love would be done not by my strength but his.
The nurse's bleak prediction of my life in and out of mental hospitals never materialized. However, my life has had many chapters of brokenness and each one has taught me to see more clearly what God has done for me than what I can do for God. Today I am experiencing a different kind of brokenness. Because of my brain tumor I have a loud and constant ringing in my head; sometimes I find this very distracting and it makes it hard to focus my thoughts. The tumor has also caused me to be partially deaf so in crowds I often find myself retreating because I'm unsure of what is being said. The tumor is on my balance nerve causing me to feel as if I just stepped off a boat. This constant feeling of motion also makes me feel slightly sea sick.
I am aware of my brokenness but I am also aware of the blessings that come from being broken. Alabaster is a white translucent mineral. Mary of Bethany had a beautiful alabaster jar which contained expensive ointment but the only way to release it was to break the jar. When the jar was broken the house was filled with the fragrance of the perfume and Mary was on her knees, having anointed Jesus' feet, she was now wiping them with her hair.
At eighteen I was filled with a since of destiny and a strong desire to serve God. I wanted to bring to him all that I was and use it to his glory! Brokenness has taught me to change my focus and instead of thinking about what I have to offer I have become more aware of the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness towards me in Christ Jesus. My prayer is that I would be like a broken alabaster jar spilling over with the fragrance of the love of God.
Monday, July 27, 2015
Why are You Hiding?
I can't remember how old I was but I will never forget how I trembled with excitement holding that little white carton in my hands. Inside the carton was the most beautiful blue bird I had ever seen. It had taken me, what I considered then, a lifetime to save enough money for this purchase but it was worth it! I knew without a shadow of doubt that the bird and I would become best friends.
The trip home seemed to take forever because I was anticipating the time when my new friend would sit on my finger or just maybe sit on my shoulder and nestle it's tiny head against my neck. For some reason long forgotten my mother prolonged my torture by making a stop on our way home from the pet store. For a little while I impatiently waited for her to come back to the car. Then suddenly, I realized the bird was mine and I didn't need to wait for permission to release my bird so that we could begin our bonding. So I did. I put my finger out for my new friend to come to me but then watched in stunned amazement as it chose to fly out the nearest open window.
I remembered this experience today when I read, "O my dove, in the cleft of the rock, in the crannies of the cliff, let me see your face, let me hear your voice, for your voice is sweet, and your face is lovely."(Song of Solomon 2:14) I though about how it is always God who initiates a relationship with us and very often we are hiding.
In Genesis is was God who came in the cool of the evening seeking fellowship. But when the objects of his affection heard the sound of his footsteps like the dove in the Song of Solomon they hid. In love God pursued his creation with the question, "Where are you?" "Where are you?" I think this is a question that is meant to draw us out from our hiding place and into his presence.
Why did the dove hide in the cleft of the rock? I think it was more aware of it's vulnerability than it was the love of the one pursuing it. Why were Adam and Eve hiding? They had sinned against love. Suddenly, for the first time they more aware of themselves then they were of the one who was longing for a relationship with them.
Sometimes I feel like a trembling bird aware of my vulnerability. Sometimes I feel like those hiding in the garden aware of my sinfulness but I have become aware of something far greater. I have become aware of His love.
The trip home seemed to take forever because I was anticipating the time when my new friend would sit on my finger or just maybe sit on my shoulder and nestle it's tiny head against my neck. For some reason long forgotten my mother prolonged my torture by making a stop on our way home from the pet store. For a little while I impatiently waited for her to come back to the car. Then suddenly, I realized the bird was mine and I didn't need to wait for permission to release my bird so that we could begin our bonding. So I did. I put my finger out for my new friend to come to me but then watched in stunned amazement as it chose to fly out the nearest open window.
I remembered this experience today when I read, "O my dove, in the cleft of the rock, in the crannies of the cliff, let me see your face, let me hear your voice, for your voice is sweet, and your face is lovely."(Song of Solomon 2:14) I though about how it is always God who initiates a relationship with us and very often we are hiding.
In Genesis is was God who came in the cool of the evening seeking fellowship. But when the objects of his affection heard the sound of his footsteps like the dove in the Song of Solomon they hid. In love God pursued his creation with the question, "Where are you?" "Where are you?" I think this is a question that is meant to draw us out from our hiding place and into his presence.
Why did the dove hide in the cleft of the rock? I think it was more aware of it's vulnerability than it was the love of the one pursuing it. Why were Adam and Eve hiding? They had sinned against love. Suddenly, for the first time they more aware of themselves then they were of the one who was longing for a relationship with them.
Sometimes I feel like a trembling bird aware of my vulnerability. Sometimes I feel like those hiding in the garden aware of my sinfulness but I have become aware of something far greater. I have become aware of His love.
Saturday, July 18, 2015
A Redeemed Identity
She stood before us smiling yet unable to hide her nervousness, then she graciously drew us closer by her vulnerability. She answered questions that we her audience had been trained not to ask. She invited us to laugh as she explained her disabilities through an interaction she had had with a young child. She enlarged the borders of our minds and blessed us with new understanding.
We her audience stood to express our gratitude and when the clapping died down she told us that she had wanted to sing for us but had been afraid. One by one we cried out and asked that she would bless us yet again and sing to us. She was visibly trembling when she took the microphone but once more she drew us in by her vulnerability.
She told us she had chosen the song because it expressed the deep struggle of her soul. She sang the song "Never Alone." I could hear both pain and faith as she sang the chorus again and again,
"I cried out with no reply
And I can't feel you by my side
So I'll hold tight to what I know
You're here, and I'm never alone."
Once more the borders of our hearts were enlarged and our understanding was expanded as she allowed us to witness someone who was choosing to walk by faith and not by feeling.
I though of Karis when I read the story of Jabez. Jabez's mother gave him a name that reflected the difficulties she had had in giving him birth. His name means sorrow and pain. After a difficult birth Karis had received a name that reflected her mother's faith.
Karis shared with us that she had been a very active baby in her mother's womb and that when it came time for her birth her umbilical cord had been wrapped around her neck. With each push during the delivery the cord had become tighter and tighter as a result of this she suffered with Cerebral Palsy. Her mother held onto what she knew and named her daughter Karis (a gift from God) Joy.
Jebez was an honorable man and he asked for a redemption of his identity when he called out to God in prayer. "If only you would bless me, extend my border, let Your hand be with me, and keep me from harm, so that I will not cause any pain," Karis' identity goes far beyond her disability. We her audience were blessed by God through her gift to us. We experienced joy as she drew us in by her vulnerability and enlarged the borders of both our understanding and our hearts.
We her audience stood to express our gratitude and when the clapping died down she told us that she had wanted to sing for us but had been afraid. One by one we cried out and asked that she would bless us yet again and sing to us. She was visibly trembling when she took the microphone but once more she drew us in by her vulnerability.
She told us she had chosen the song because it expressed the deep struggle of her soul. She sang the song "Never Alone." I could hear both pain and faith as she sang the chorus again and again,
"I cried out with no reply
And I can't feel you by my side
So I'll hold tight to what I know
You're here, and I'm never alone."
Once more the borders of our hearts were enlarged and our understanding was expanded as she allowed us to witness someone who was choosing to walk by faith and not by feeling.
I though of Karis when I read the story of Jabez. Jabez's mother gave him a name that reflected the difficulties she had had in giving him birth. His name means sorrow and pain. After a difficult birth Karis had received a name that reflected her mother's faith.
Karis shared with us that she had been a very active baby in her mother's womb and that when it came time for her birth her umbilical cord had been wrapped around her neck. With each push during the delivery the cord had become tighter and tighter as a result of this she suffered with Cerebral Palsy. Her mother held onto what she knew and named her daughter Karis (a gift from God) Joy.
Jebez was an honorable man and he asked for a redemption of his identity when he called out to God in prayer. "If only you would bless me, extend my border, let Your hand be with me, and keep me from harm, so that I will not cause any pain," Karis' identity goes far beyond her disability. We her audience were blessed by God through her gift to us. We experienced joy as she drew us in by her vulnerability and enlarged the borders of both our understanding and our hearts.
Friday, July 3, 2015
Is it a false hope?
As I slowly became conscious I was aware that I was hearing music. I was listening to the words of Psalm 91 but not from an external source; the music was coming from my heart. The truth of the words bathed my mind, my soul and my spirit as I began the day.
I was on my way to church when Abigail called and I knew there was something terribly wrong. I wanted to comfort her with the words of the Psalm that I had been meditating on but suddenly I was afraid that I might be giving her false hope. You see the same Psalm that talks about dwelling in the shelter of the Most High and abiding in the shadow of the Almighty says that if you make the Lord your refuge and fortress that he would deliver you from the deadly pestilence.
I wanted to tell Abigail that she could trust God and that he would cover her with his pinions. I wanted to promise her that she could find refuge under God's wing and that his faithfulness would be a shield. But I hesitated, would there be no terror of the night? Could I really promise her that she and her baby would be spared from the pestilence that stalks in the darkness? Did I really believe that if she made the Lord her dwelling place and the Most High her refuge that no evil would be allowed to befall her and no plague would come near her or her child?
Yes I hesitated, until I realized that I was being tempted to doubt God's word with the same Psalm that Satan used to tempt Jesus in the wilderness. Satan tempted Jesus to begin his ministry by throwing himself down from the pinnacle of the temple, that is if he really was the Son of God. Then he quoted this from Psalm 91,"For he will give his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways. On their hands they will bear you up, least you strike your foot against a stone." In other words Satan was telling Jesus there was no need for him to bruise his heel. That's when I began to understand the fullness the promises I woke up to that morning.
In paradise when Satan temped Eve to doubt God's word terror was introduced into the night. Man became afraid and instead of fellowshiping with God when he came to them at the time of the evening breeze they hid themselves. Because of sin, pestilence was aloud to salk in the darkness, death came and every child would be born to the anguished cry of pain from it's mother. But in the middle of the pronouncement of the curse God made a way were there seemed to be no way. God said to the serpent, "I will put hostility between your seed and her seed. He will strike your head, and you will strike his heel."( Genesis 3:15)
I had never seen it before, this Psalm that Satan tempted Jesus with to save himself from the pain of striking his foot goes on to to promise that the serpent would be trampled under foot. My heart again to sing the words, "Because he holds fast to me in love, I will deliver him; I will protect him, because he knows my name. When he calls to me, I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble; I will rescue him and honor him." On our way to the hospital amid tears and pain we sought shelter together of the Most High and found refuge in the shadow of the Almighty.
At my granddaughter's memorial service we requested that Psalm 91 be read. There were tears and there was sorrow but there was also hope not false hope but a confident expectation of good. There was also worship for the God who allowed his heel to be bruised on the cross and in so doing to crush the serpent's head. As we worshiped our Savior with heavy hearts and tear filled eyes I heard in my spirit the final words of the Psalm, "With a long life I will satisfy him and show him my salvation."
I was on my way to church when Abigail called and I knew there was something terribly wrong. I wanted to comfort her with the words of the Psalm that I had been meditating on but suddenly I was afraid that I might be giving her false hope. You see the same Psalm that talks about dwelling in the shelter of the Most High and abiding in the shadow of the Almighty says that if you make the Lord your refuge and fortress that he would deliver you from the deadly pestilence.
I wanted to tell Abigail that she could trust God and that he would cover her with his pinions. I wanted to promise her that she could find refuge under God's wing and that his faithfulness would be a shield. But I hesitated, would there be no terror of the night? Could I really promise her that she and her baby would be spared from the pestilence that stalks in the darkness? Did I really believe that if she made the Lord her dwelling place and the Most High her refuge that no evil would be allowed to befall her and no plague would come near her or her child?
Yes I hesitated, until I realized that I was being tempted to doubt God's word with the same Psalm that Satan used to tempt Jesus in the wilderness. Satan tempted Jesus to begin his ministry by throwing himself down from the pinnacle of the temple, that is if he really was the Son of God. Then he quoted this from Psalm 91,"For he will give his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways. On their hands they will bear you up, least you strike your foot against a stone." In other words Satan was telling Jesus there was no need for him to bruise his heel. That's when I began to understand the fullness the promises I woke up to that morning.
In paradise when Satan temped Eve to doubt God's word terror was introduced into the night. Man became afraid and instead of fellowshiping with God when he came to them at the time of the evening breeze they hid themselves. Because of sin, pestilence was aloud to salk in the darkness, death came and every child would be born to the anguished cry of pain from it's mother. But in the middle of the pronouncement of the curse God made a way were there seemed to be no way. God said to the serpent, "I will put hostility between your seed and her seed. He will strike your head, and you will strike his heel."( Genesis 3:15)
I had never seen it before, this Psalm that Satan tempted Jesus with to save himself from the pain of striking his foot goes on to to promise that the serpent would be trampled under foot. My heart again to sing the words, "Because he holds fast to me in love, I will deliver him; I will protect him, because he knows my name. When he calls to me, I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble; I will rescue him and honor him." On our way to the hospital amid tears and pain we sought shelter together of the Most High and found refuge in the shadow of the Almighty.
At my granddaughter's memorial service we requested that Psalm 91 be read. There were tears and there was sorrow but there was also hope not false hope but a confident expectation of good. There was also worship for the God who allowed his heel to be bruised on the cross and in so doing to crush the serpent's head. As we worshiped our Savior with heavy hearts and tear filled eyes I heard in my spirit the final words of the Psalm, "With a long life I will satisfy him and show him my salvation."
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