Gratitude opens my fist so that instead of clutching what was, I am free to take hold of what is.
Tomorrow I will go to Vanderbilt to receive twenty shots in my face. One of the after effects of my brain surgery was that the nerves in my face rewired. This causes my facial muscles to misfire. For instance, when I close my right eye the muscle in my chin contracts. This also means that if I am too expressive I will get a painful charlie horse. Before my surgery I made great use of facial expression but that is no longer true.
This is hard. I recognize that I have a choice. I can either be grateful for the doctors and procedures that help to lessen the effects of my rewired face, or I can grumble and complain. This is not an easy choice. Every time I open my mouth to speak I feel the misfiring muscles. This is not a one time choice, it is a process of letting go of what used to be and accepting what is.
Not long ago I was at a family gathering and someone told me how a group had been discussing my face. She wanted to encourage me by pointing out how much better I looked. I realized I could be grateful for the improvement in the way I looked, or simply hold on to the grief I still feel.
I look around me and see others who have gone through life-altering changes. On the outside they appear to be the same, but deep inside they feel as if their soul has been bruised. What they once took for granted is gone. Sometimes it feels like being a prisoner of the past.
Healing comes slowly. I don't choose to pretend there isn't loss and grief, but I do choose to recognize the blessings that surround me. There is something holy that takes place when I pursue gratitude. I am reminded that we get the word Eucharist from the Greek word eucharisteo, which means to give thanks.
Tuesday, May 9, 2017
God of the Macro and the Micro
The corridor is dark. The way is unknown. Or perhaps it would be more correct to say that the way is unknown to me. However, the one who does know the way has offered me a light that shines in the darkness.
For the last several months I have immersed myself in the book of Daniel. Having read his words and having looked through his eyes at the visions given to him, I feel like I know him. He was a man, an alien. He was fulfilling God's purposes in his generation. The prophecies God gave him were like a light that shined down the corridor of time. Daniel didn't fully understand all God showed him, but what he did understand was that God was in control.
For the past three weeks I have been studying the last section of Daniel. Daniel is now an old man and his assumptions of what was to take place and what was actually happening didn't match. He was mourning. He humbled himself before the Most High God. When God sent His messenger to Daniel the curtains of heaven were pulled back. Man was given an understanding of the spiritual realm.
What Daniel was told he could not understand. He was a man whom God esteemed highly, a man dearly loved. Amos 3:7 tells us that, "Indeed, the Lord God does nothing without revealing His counsel to His servants the prophets." There are one hundred and thirty five prophecies that have already been fulfilled from the eleventh chapter of Daniel. What these fulfilled prophecies point to is a sovereign God. The Ancient of Days is seated in the heavens and He holds the scepter in His hands.
I believe that the God who is God of the macro is also God of the micro. The Lord of Hosts who rules over angel armies, the Most High God who is sovereign over kingdoms and nations, principalities and powers, is also Lord over my life. I am invited to humble myself just as Daniel did and bring my prayers before the throne of the Almighty. I rest in the truth that, although the corridor may seem dark and the path I should take is unknown to me, it is known to Him.
For the last several months I have immersed myself in the book of Daniel. Having read his words and having looked through his eyes at the visions given to him, I feel like I know him. He was a man, an alien. He was fulfilling God's purposes in his generation. The prophecies God gave him were like a light that shined down the corridor of time. Daniel didn't fully understand all God showed him, but what he did understand was that God was in control.
For the past three weeks I have been studying the last section of Daniel. Daniel is now an old man and his assumptions of what was to take place and what was actually happening didn't match. He was mourning. He humbled himself before the Most High God. When God sent His messenger to Daniel the curtains of heaven were pulled back. Man was given an understanding of the spiritual realm.
What Daniel was told he could not understand. He was a man whom God esteemed highly, a man dearly loved. Amos 3:7 tells us that, "Indeed, the Lord God does nothing without revealing His counsel to His servants the prophets." There are one hundred and thirty five prophecies that have already been fulfilled from the eleventh chapter of Daniel. What these fulfilled prophecies point to is a sovereign God. The Ancient of Days is seated in the heavens and He holds the scepter in His hands.
I believe that the God who is God of the macro is also God of the micro. The Lord of Hosts who rules over angel armies, the Most High God who is sovereign over kingdoms and nations, principalities and powers, is also Lord over my life. I am invited to humble myself just as Daniel did and bring my prayers before the throne of the Almighty. I rest in the truth that, although the corridor may seem dark and the path I should take is unknown to me, it is known to Him.
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