This will be my first Christmas since Steve’s death. It is a very tender time. I go out on my porch and watch the sun rise and listen to Handle’s Messiah. Grief allows me to listen with a depth I’ve never experienced before.
As I rock back and forth I feel cradled by the love of God. I watch the darkness of night replaced as the morning star arises. Though my tears flow freely I feel the invitation to rejoice in hope.
Etched into my memory are my last moments with Steve. Watching him take his final breath watching as the pulse in his neck slowly came to a stop. Releasing him to the hope of the resurrection.
Today I was listening to Chuck Swindol and heard a prayer about when Jesus gave up His spirit in the cross. “Yes take him home my Father. Take the Prince to His King. Take the Son to His Father. Take the pilgrim home, He deserves a rest. Come 10,000 angels! Come take this wounded troubadour to the cradle of His Father’s arms! Farewell manger infant. Bless you Holy Ambassador. Go home death slayer. Rest well sweet soldier. The battle is over. Amen”
To rejoice in hope is to live in the now and not yet. I will not be able to enter into the merriment of the holiday season but I will be able to celebrate the truth that the baby who was born in the manger will come again as the King who conquered death!
