The Strength of Weakness

From as far back as I can remember it would come unbidden and unwelcome but still it would come. It was like a moist blackness seeping in from the cracks in the wall and from beneath the door. It never shouted but issuing from the darkness I could hear the message, the crippling message, that would seek to bind me and hold me captive. I heard a song once that said, "Hello darkness my old friend I've come to talk to you again." But this darkness is not my friend.

When I was young this period of darkness was often accompanied by a dream of being helpless and of falling into a bottomless, cold and dark shaft. These times of being overwhelmed by darkness could be considered a mental illness. But I would like to share what I have learned from decades of struggling in the night.

This thorn in my flesh is like a messenger of Satan that harasses me. My weakness exposes my need for someone greater than myself to come to my rescue. From my earliest memories this messenger has caused me to cry out. In response to my cry I found that I who have sat in darkness have seen a great light. I have come to appreciate the verses I found in the book of Micah, "But as for me, I will look to the LORD; I will wait for the God of my salvation; my God will hear me. Rejoice not over me, O my enemy; when I fall, I shall rise; when I sit in darkness, the LORD will be a light to me."

I have found strength in my times of weakness but it is not my strength. I have found that when in the darkness I slip, I am not hurled headlong because my Savior holds my hand. The message I hear hissed by the darkness is silenced by the truth whispered to my spirit, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."( 2 Corinthians 12:9)

Lord Jesus, while others may boast of their strength I will choose instead to boast in my weakness. Please Lord, let your power rest upon me because I know that when I am weak then I am strong in you.