Rebuilding

In a very professional tone he told me that every extra ten pounds a person weighs is the equivalent of carrying a concrete block on their feet. Then he paused, shifted his weight onto one foot, crossed his arms, lifted his eye brows and spoke. He made no attempt to hide the disdain that came with his next words, "And you, you are carrying around a LOT of concrete blocks." Having delivered his message he took his clip board and walked out of the room. His words stung.

The sting did not go away. I realized that many of my health issues were my own fault. I was reminded of something David said in the Psalms, "My strength has failed because of my sinfulness" (Psalm 31:10). My sinfulness wasn't due to a lack of will power, just the opposite, it was because I had too much will power. In the deepest recesses of my heart was a rebellious spirit.

A rebellious spirit is not conquered by will power but by humility. Will power says, "I am in control of what I do or not do. No one will tell me what I can or cannot eat!" It was Eve's will power that introduced sin into the garden. Humility on the other hand is being willing to surrender your will. Will power says, "I can gain the victory on my own."  Humility's response to sin is a cry for help.

The first step of a humble response is to accept the truth and offer no excuses.  The next step is to cast our cares on God believing that He really cares for us. God has promised that He gives grace to those who humble themselves but He resists the proud.

This is an uncomfortable place to be. I don't really want to be humble. I want to write a long list of excuses. Everything inside me screams at the thought of surrendering my will. As the doctor so creatively put it, I have a LOT of concrete blocks I'm carrying around. So, to be truthful I'm haunted by the question, "Is there hope for someone like me?"

Is there hope? Hope is a confident expectation of good based on who God is and His promises to me. Hope in and of itself is a gift of the Holy Spirit. The God I serve is the God of Hope and I have always found that with hope comes joy and peace.

I find in the book of Zechariah the encouragement that was given to a fellow sinner who was having to rebuild God's temple that had been destroyed because of sin. In this passage Zerubbabel is told that the rebuilding that needs to take place will not be accomplished by might or power but instead by the Spirit of God. He is also told not to despise the day of small beginnings.

So here I am wanting to let go of my rebellious spirit, admitting that my sin has caused my body - this temple of the Holy Spirit- to be damaged. I am humbly calling out to God for help not relying on my own power but instead relying on His grace and His Holy Spirit. I choose not to despise the day of small beginnings but instead I choose to fix my eyes on the God of Hope.