The older I get the more acutely aware I am that I am not in control. Recently I experienced vertigo. I was standing still but when I opened my eyes it looked like my world was spinning. It made me feel sick. I like to be in control, I don't want my world to spin without my permission.
When my world is spinning I feel like a small paper boat without sail or rudder tossing on the waves. This could be a terrifying experience, this feeling of not being in control, but it's not. It's not terrifying because early in my life I met the one who is in control. I found this promise in His Word, "You will keep in perfect peace the mind that is dependent on You, for it is trusting in You." (Isaiah 26:3)
I also found this invitation to, "Count it all joy, my brothers when you meet trails of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness." (James 1:2,3) Every time a wave washes over me exposing the truth that I am not in control I find that I am invited to experience a deeper truth. I am invited to know the One who speaks to both wind and wave and can calm any storm.
The sensation of being a small paper boat without sail or rudder tossing on the waves is not necessarily a pleasant one but it has forced me to put my faith in something other than myself. "The LORD is my portion, therefore I will put my hope in Him." (Lamentations 3:24) Hope is symbolized by an anchor. Hope is a confident expectation of good based on the promises of God. Hope silences the storm inside me even if the storm outside rages.
Heavenly Father, thank You for inviting me into this place of perfect peace. Thank You for inviting me to know You more intimately by showing me that though I am not in control, You are.
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