When the Christmas Tree Falls

I confess I'm like a little kid where Christmas trees are concerned. I love to turn on the tree lights first thing in the morning while it's still dark outside. I love to sit and look at the tree all lit up and decorated with ornaments that represent over forty years of Christmas memories. We have handmade ornaments from the first Christmas Steve and I shared as newlyweds; also, those made by my children, grandchildren and friends. Yesterday, my magnificent tree suddenly fell, flinging ornaments everywhere.

This morning when I woke before dawn I noticed that the tree had been propped back up. Its branches were half decorated, the strings of light were no longer carefully placed but instead were sagging down. I decided to go outside and watch the sunrise. Suddenly, being in the house with a fallen, half-decorated tree made me feel depressed. I have always been one to think symbolically, and the fallen Christmas tree felt a little too familiar.  I inhaled the fresh morning air and prayed, "Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom" (Psalm 90:12).

I remember right before my brain surgery, the nurse was reading my charts. She smiled and said, "You might like to hear this. The doctor wrote in your chart, 'Patient appears much younger than her 62 years.'" It made me smile. I had never given much thought to the aging process. Even so, the fact that the doctor had officially made the statement was nice to hear. Then came the surgery and the facial paralysis. After that, every doctor I have seen has mention my age as a factor in the difficulties I am having. I have felt like a Christmas tree that has suddenly fallen across the living room floor, whose lights are unplugged and ornaments scattered everywhere. This experience has caused me to personalize Psalm 90 and to pray, "Teach me to number my days, that I might gain a heart of wisdom."

In the cool of the morning I was encouraging myself in the truth, reminding myself not to give up because, "Though our physical body is becoming older and weaker, our spirit inside us is made new every day" (1 Corinthians 4:16). I have not enjoyed the experience of the last few months as my body has seemed suddenly to become older and weaker. And if that was all that I had experienced, I would be very, very depressed indeed! But I have also known the joy of being like a tree planted by streams of living water. Daily I have sought to delight myself in the Lord. I have been meditating on God's word day and night as I number my days and ask God for wisdom.

It's interesting to me to look at the trees in scripture. In the beginning, "out of the ground the Lord God made to spring up every tree that is pleasant to the sight and good for food. The tree of life was in the midst of the garden, and the tree of the knowledge of good and evil" (Genesis 2:9). At the end of time there will be a "river of the water of life, bright as crystal, flowing from the throne of God and of the Lamb." On either side of the river there will be "the tree of life with its twelve kinds of fruit yielding its fruit each season" (Revelation 22:2). So the Christmas tree has fallen, reminding me to number my days. But my heart is full of the wisdom of God that speaks to me of the tree of life.