Healing the Bruised Soul

Growing up in the South I spent most of the Summer barefooted. This also meant that often my foot would strike a hard object and I would end up with something called a stone bruise. I would go limping and crying to my mother and beg her to do something to make the pain go away. Her answer was always the same, "Some things simply take time to heal."

The last couple of years has been really hard, and the other day I realized that I had a soul bruise. I realized this while I was listening to the radio. The man on the radio was talking about the money he had lost when there was a stock market crash. He told his financial adviser that he considered the money God's money and God could do whatever He chose with His money. I thought about all the ways my life has changed in the last couple of years and I prayed, "Lord, the same is true with my life. It belongs to You and You can do with me whatever You like." Then I cried.

My prayer was simple and honest, but why did I cry? I cried because when my life hit hard places my soul was bruised. There are hurts that are real, there are adjustments that I'm struggling with, there are times I just want to turn back the clock. But I can't. So I take a deep breath and pray, "Lord, my life belongs to You and You can do with it what You will. I choose to trust You."

My prayer of surrender to God is not a magic formula that takes away the pain. One of my goals as a Christian is not to pretend that I am stronger than I am, or that I am immune to the sufferings that comes from living in a broken world. I want to be honest. I want to be humble. And so just like I did as a child with a stone bruise by going to my mother for comfort, I go to my Heavenly Father and pour out my pain and confusion. Then I wait.

I wait, still hurting, still feeling the tender bruise in my soul. There are times when I feel a deep sense of confusion and I can't understand the why. This is when the who is more important than the why. I gave my life to Jesus and I believe with all my heart that what He allows He will redeem. Sometimes it just takes time. So I wait. I wait with expectation. I wait with expectation because I have tasted the sweet water produced by desert streams. I have rejoiced in the azure blue sky that is hidden at times by the clouds. And I know that my redeemer lives.