Learning to Find Peace

I had unexpectedly stepped into a nest of yellow jackets! Suddenly I was swarmed by angry, stinging bees. They were plunging their stingers into my legs, buzzing with fury all around my face. That memory from my childhood still causes me to shudder. There are other memories that draw me back in time to hurts I’d rather forget; memories I would rather not think about. Yet sometimes things happen that reawaken the pain of the past. Recently, I was confronted by such a reawakening and again I felt as if I was being attacked by a swarm of bees.

Negative memories and negative emotions began to haunt my mind. My prayers were childlike and simple, “Father, help me! I don’t know what to do! I don’t know how to respond!” In answer to my prayer I read Colossians 3. In the light of God’s word I saw myself clearly. I felt like a vulnerable child engulfed in the embrace of my Father. I had been heard. I had been answered. I grabbed a piece of paper and a pen and quickly wrote the words in bold letters and put it on my refrigerator.

Therefore, God’s chosen ones, holy and loved, put on heartfelt compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience, accepting one another and forgiving one another if anyone has a complaint against another. Just as the Lord has forgiven you, so also you must forgive. Above all, put on love--the perfect bond of unity (Colossians 3:12-14)

I just had one more problem. Although I knew that my prayer was both heard and answered, I couldn’t figure out what the answer meant. Now I had the answer to my my prayer, but I still had all my negative emotions and hurts. So my prayer changed and I began to ask God how I was supposed to put away the anger that I felt and put on love. I wanted to, but to be honest I simply didn’t know how.

I kept thinking about it, reading it, meditating on it, praying about it. I didn’t want to be fake. I didn’t want to pretend. Finally, one day I saw the verse differently. I had been focusing on what I needed to do, trying to figure out how I was supposed to put off all my negativity and put on love. Suddenly I realized what the "therefore" was there for. I could put on love, not because I chose to, but because God had chosen me. I could choose to have a holy response instead of a fleshy response because God had chosen to sanctify me by the blood of His Son. I could choose to love only because God had chosen to love me! With the eyes of my heart finally opened, I realized that by faith I had access to everything I needed. When I understood this, I was able at last to let the peace of the Messiah, to which I was called, control my heart.