A Glimpse of Beauty

He was on his way home when a moment of happiness took him by surprise. Doug was always in search of a glimpse of beauty and on April 26, 2013 he added to his list of birds a rare rufous-capped warbler. The moment was made more beautiful because he was able to share it with his wife, Wendy.

"Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into the barns, and yet your heavenly Fathers feeds them. Are you not of more value than they?"(Matthew 6:26) Doug was a man who took time to look at the birds. To be a man who can glimpse rare beauty you have to slow your pace. Doug not only did this himself he taught others to look and see the birds. One of my fondest memories was seeing Doug and his son Justin early in the morning leaving our campsite. A father sharing with his son the wonder and beauty of nature.

Doug was on his way home when the view of the temporal was eclipsed by a view of the eternal. The beauty he had glimpsed in the morning was replaced by a full view of glory. He had marveled at what had been created in the morning but when evening came he was in the presence of the Creator. On April 26, 2013 Doug who had done just as Jesus said and looked at the birds was now looking at his heavenly Father.

The book of Ecclesiastes teaches that, "For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven: a time to be born, and a time to die.....He has made everything beautiful in its time. Also, he has put eternity into man's heart." There is a season to enjoy the transient beauty of a bird. There is also a season to gaze with unveiled eyes at the beauty of the creator.

Thank You Lord, for giving me the gift of friendship with men like Doug who teach me to slow my pace and look at the birds. I have seen in this man the beauty of his creator.

Sharing Dreams, Sharing Truth

The Bible teaches that the interpretation of dreams belongs to God but sometimes the message is just obvious. Last night I had a series of dreams and the theme wasn't hard to miss. Every dream I had pointed to the same thing a since of feeling inadequate. The dreams seemed to following me around like a cloud and I had to decided to call someone and share them. Just as I picked up my home phone my cell phone rang these are the words I heard, "Sarah, can I tell you about my dream?"

My friend and I had something more in common than just wanting to find someone we could trust to share our dreams with. For me it was because a year ago this week both Ma Belle and Papa died. I've spent this week doing the final cleaning preparing the house for it's new occupants. In the last six months my friend has lost her little sister, her mother and now her aunt. I think for both of us God gave us dreams to help us be honest with the deep feeling grief can stir up.

My friend not only shared her dreams but also the paralyzing effect of the emotions of grief. When I shared with her my dreams what I was really doing was being honest with another human being about the deep since of inadequacy that I feel. The Bible teaches that knowing the truth sets you free it also points out that truth is the first part of a Christians armor. I think what God did for both of us through our dreams was to give us a mirror so we could see clearly how we felt and then give us a friend to encourage us to look beyond our emotions to the truth.

As I thought about this belt of truth I thought about the Gait Belt we used to help Ma Belle with as she grew weaker and weaker. The Gait Belt is used to transfer people from one position to another when they are unable to move on their on. After my friend and I shared our emotions honestly we prayed together. We each felt the truth of God Word lifting us and filling us with His strength to do what we could not do in our own strength.

Lord Jesus, I come to You just as I am aware of who I am and who I'm not. Thank You for the truth that You are the Savior. You came to, "proclaim liberty to the captive and recovering the sight to the blind and to bind up the brokenhearted." (Luke 4:18)

Can Cynicism and Hope Coexist?

I have heard cynicism described as a way of looking at the world that focuses so exclusively on the negative that you become resigned to the way things are.  I have seen this attitude growing more and more lately. As I have been reading a biography about Dietrich Bonhoeffer I thought, if anyone would have an excuse for being a cynic it would be him. However, instead of being a cynic he was a man who had a living hope.

Bonhoeffer was a humble man of faith who was not willing to accept the pessimistic view that he had to resign himself to the way things are. Instead, "Bonhoeffer gives witness to one man's extraordinary faith and to the tortured fate of a nation he sought to deliver form the curse of Nazism."[Bonhoeffer by Eric Metaxas] Bonhoeffer's words were not the words of a cynic but instead, of a man who possessed a living hope, "Silence in the face of evil is itself evil: God will not hold us guiltless. Not to act is to act."

On the day Bonhoeffer died he held a small service where he was being held prisoner and preached form 1 Peter 1:3 "Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! By his great mercy we have been born anew to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead." A man who was imprisoned with Bonhoeffer described what happened next: He had hardly finished his last prayer when the door opened and two evil -looking men in civilian clothes came in and said: "Prisoner Bonhoeffer. get ready to come with us." those words "Come with us"- for all prisoners they had come to mean one thing only- the scaffold. We bade him good-bye-he drew me aside- "This is the end," he said."For me the beginning of life."

A cynic is someone who focuses on the negative and is resigned to the way things are. Many who take this view would simply say that they are realists wanting to represent things the way they really are. Hope on the other hand is a confident expectation of good based on the person and promises of Jesus Christ. I think a cynic might look at the life of Dietrich Bonhoeffer and pity him. I would agree with them if I didn't believe in the Resurrection. "If in this life only we have hoped in Christ, we are of all people most to be pitied."(1 Corinthians 15:19)

Lord Jesus, grant me the grace to base my actions and my life on my confidence in You. Please help me to guard my heart against the negative message that what I see is all there is.

Spiritual Paradox

"Your faith has healed you." I sat in a college auditorium listening to Joni Eareckson Tada yesterday morning. On July 30,1967, she dove into Chesapeake Bay after misjudging the shallowness of the water. She suffered a fracture between the fourth and fifth cervical levels and became a quadriplegic, paralyzed from the shoulders down.

"Your faith has made you whole." Yesterday afternoon I listen on the radio to Nick Vujicic. Nick was born in 1982 in Melbourne, Australia. Nick was born without arms or legs. My daughter came over for dinner and after we ate we looked up some videos about him. In those videos Nick talked about how he as a child had struggled mentally and emotionally as well as physically.

"Your faith has saved you." Last night I was reading the last chapter of Bonhoeffer Pastor, Martyr, Prophet, Spy. Bonhoeffer was a theologian, martyr  a spiritual writer, a musician, a pastor, and an author of poetry and fiction. He staunchly resisted the Nazi dictatorship and opposed Hitler's euthanasia program and genocidal persecution of the Jews. He was arrested in April 1943 by the Gestapo and executed by hanging in April 1945 while imprisoned at a Nazi concentration camp, just 23 days before the German surrender.

As I considered the lives of these three people I recognized that they had some things in common. The first thing I see is in their lives is a living faith. "Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, and the conviction of things not seen."(Hebrews 11:1) I also saw that the result of faith could be summed up in the Greek word sesoken. This word means, "to be made whole, cured, well, healed or saved."

I guess some might argue with me that because Joni gave her speech from a wheel chair and had to ask her husband to come on stage twice, once to help her sit up straighter so she could breath and the other time to help her lean over so that she could read, that her faith had not healed her. After all these years of faith Joni is still a quadriplegic. Joni does not have the use of her legs but the auditorium was filled with college students who did have the use of their legs and twice they gave Joni a standing ovation. Her vibrant faith had filled them with hope as they saw her offering herself as an example of how God uses in a powerful way what the world would consider weak.

Some might look at Nick without arms and legs and say that that is proof that faith cannot make you whole but it only took watching a couple of videos about Nick for me to see just the opposite. Nick has a contagious faith and joy. He has spoken in 44 countries and least 2,000 times. His message is one of faith and hope and promise. Nick has lived a life that by any one's standers is
whole. He also has a beautiful wife and son.

Although Bonhoeffer at one point had confessed to his friend Bethge that he struggled with depression he was not conquered by it. Most of his adult life was spent living out his Christian beliefs in a hostile environment. He was sure of what he hoped for and confident about what he didn't see and as he lived his life this way he was made whole and well. Hugh Falconer who was with Deitrich in prison said, "[Bonhoeffer] was very happy during the whole time I knew him, and did a great deal to keep some of the weaker brethren from depression."

Lord Jesus, thank You for Joni, Nick and Dietrich so that I can see what it looks like to live being sure of what is hoped for and confident about what is unseen. In their lives I see the process of sanctification watching each of them grow in divine grace. I believe that You call all who believe in You to be set apart for a special use or purpose. I see how You have chosen to redeem their suffering by making them into holy vessels. Please Lord, help me walk in faith, I too want to be made whole.

Reflections

It was a year ago that Ma Belle died one Sunday. The next Sunday PaPa died. It's taken a year to say good bye to go through the house that PaPa built and make decisions about what to do with what was left behind. Some of the furniture that belonged to Ma Belle and PaPa is at my house now. They had inherited it from their grandparents perhaps someday my grandchildren will inherit it from me.

 I see my reflection in the antique mirror and I think about the generations that have gone before me who saw themselves in this glass and the generations who will see their reflections after I am gone. As I look into the glass and reflect on those who once saw their own image here I realize how much they blessed and shaped the woman I see staring back at me.

I found another mirror that has been passed down through the generations. I found the family Bible. The was given to James Hardeman Sneed and Margaret C. Wilkerson on December 5 1863. The note from their grandson reads in flowery script:
My Grandmother's and Grandfather's Bible
The source of knowledge  and wisdom inspiration and dedication.
Given me by my Beloved Sister Mary December 25, 1974 
Samuel Hardeman Jones

From generation to generation those who have gone before have looked into the mirror of God's word to see a reflection of who they really were. As Great Granddaddy said it has been, "The source of knowledge and wisdom and dedication." The refection that has been seen through the generations in the Family Bible is different from the reflections see in the antique mirror. They could only see an external reflection with the antique mirror but when they gazed into the Word of God they saw a reflection of their soul. The inheritance gained from Ma Belle and PaPa has not simply been the contents of their home but the spiritual inheritance of those who did not simply glance at the mirror of God Word but peered deeply into until they found their lives transformed by what they saw.

Lord Jesus, as I reflect on the lives of those who have gone before me I want to thank You for the example they gave me. I pray that someday when I am remembered by my children and grandchildren they will see someone who was transformed by spending time before the mirror of Your Word.

Sarita, the Eight Cow Wife

I came home the other day and discovered a package on my kitchen counter. I opened the box and found a mug that said,"I love how we don't even need to say out loud that I'm your favorite child." Of course, the box contained no note. I have four children. I can narrow it down a little because on the mug is the picture of a little girl with her mother and I don't think my son would have chosen that picture.

Yesterday I was with a friend and she told me she wanted to have a T shirt made that said, "I'm the one that Jesus loves." She had been studying and the way John always referred to himself. I had always been a little uncomfortable that John was referred to as the beloved. I always felt that just as his mother had asked Jesus if John could hold a prominent place in the Kingdom now John was claiming a prominent place in his relationship with Jesus. But was he? Was his comparing the way Jesus loved him to the way Jesus loved the other disciples or just stating the fact that Jesus loved him.

Something changes inside a person when they know they are loved. I remember the story of Johnny Lingo who lived on Nurabandi Islands in the Pacific Islands. He had a reputation throughout the islands for being skilled, intelligent and savvy. So everyone thought he'd lost his mind when he chose for his bride a woman who was considered homely and then offered her father eight cows when a good dowry for a beautiful woman was only two cows.

A man who had heard this story about Johnny Lingo's wife was surprised when he met Sarita. He expected to see the plain, skinny, hunched shoulders woman who kept her head ducked low because she was afraid of her own shadow. Instead when Sarita walked in the room she was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. The lift of her shoulders, the tilt of her chin, and the sparkle in her eyes all spelled self-confidence and pride. Not an arrogant and haughty pride, but a confident inner beauty that radiated in her every movement. What made the difference  Johnny knew that the value you put on a person greatly affects the way they value themselves. (based partially on an article found in Reader's Digest)

Lord Jesus, when I simply look at myself I tend to hunch my shoulders and lower my eyes but You are the lifter of my head. You have chosen to not only lavish Your love on me but have also given Your life for me. Although I wouldn't call myself your favorite child I would call myself one whom you love and that is enough to change the course of my life.

The Encouragement Basket

For my birthday my friend Nancy gave me a basket with several slips of paper in it. She told me to start by reading the card. This is what it said, "This is an encouragement basket... when uninvited thoughts whisper in you ear take one of these "goodies" and see what happens!" Yesterday was one of those days when I needed one of the "goodies."

When I unfolded the paper I smiled. On it I found a poem my friend had written. I was with her the day she wrote this poem many years ago. I was privileged to meet most of the women she referred to. I have found encouragement not only from the notes Nancy put into the birthday gift she gave me I have been encouraged watching her live her life. I have seen her meet every challenge of life with a quiet confidence not in herself but in her Lord.

This is the poem:

My Nana Always Made Her Bed

My Nana always made her bed, then put on lipstick, pink or red.
She made "Nana roast" and fried cornbread. Yes my Nana always made her bed.
My Mother Dear puts her earrings on Her kitchen's clean when day is done.
With love-filled heart she fulfills her vow made at age 19, caring for her husband, now.
Her body is weary, his health 'most gone, but mother puts her earrings on.
And so I've learned to watch and do like my Nana and my mama showed me to:
No  matter the load, though weary or sad, put your earrings on and make you bed.
I must add another-my mother-in-love, Electa...
Ugly words she heard when white met black, but loving words she answered back.
A physical therapist approaches her hospital bed,
"yes, I will try" is what she said... and try she did, and so will I.
The next generation is here today with me, so very modern, my daughters three.
And they and I will carry on, and will remember
          Who we are
                  And from where we come.
We will try.
     We will put our earrings on.
           And we will make our bed.

Lord, I am so grateful for the friends and family you have given and for the courage I find by seeing other choosing to live their lives with a gentle and quiet spirit putting their confidence in You.

To All Who, Like Me, Are Insignifigant

"Frankly, I find you to be nothing but a bore." He spoke these words with ice cold indifference. The words left his mouth and became a haunting spirit in my mind. "You are nothing, you are nothing, you are nothing! The thoughts you treasure the words you speak are nothing but an irritation and a source of boredom to those you choose to inflict them on."

"Frankly, I find you to be nothing but a bore." The words became a veil over my eyes through which I looked at my life. The power these words had over me was that suddenly I wanted to find a place where I could hide. I felt a deep since of shame that I had thought that I had something to share when the truth was that I was simply inflicting my boring self on others around me.

I believe this haunting spirit came as a thief only to steal and to kill and to destroy. If his was the only voice I heard my soul would shrivel up and die but I hear another voice. "God chose what is foolish in the world to shame the wise; God chose what is low and despised in the world, even things that are not, to bring to nothing things that are, the despised in the world, so that no human being might boast in the presence of God." (1 Corinthians 1:28)

"Frankly, I find you to be nothing but a bore." At first when these words hit their mark I thought, "I am never going to write again instead I'm going to find a hole in the ground to hide." But then I took these thoughts captive and put on the helmet of salvation. I decided to look at Jesus instead of myself and changed the pain of these words into a praise. Even though I am nothing, even though I am insignificant, I am loved by the God of the Universe.

Lord Jesus, I choose fight these thoughts of my own nothingness and insignificance with the truth that I find in Your Word. The truth I find in Your Word is that You have chosen to love me with an everlasting love not because of who I am but because of who You are. I choose to find my identity in the truth that You love me.

Haunting Questions

"What are the big questions,' the radio host said,' that wake you in the night and greet you first thing in the morning?" Suddenly there they were before me like unbidden, unwanted house guests. Long after the radio host had gone home, had his dinner, tucked his children in bed, kissed his wife and turned off the light, I was attempting to deal with the "Big Questions" who seemed like they were settling in for a extended stay.

It didn't take long to recognize that these "Big Questions" were really just my doubts and my fears and my failures haunting me again. There was no part of my life they didn't attack. For a while I just let them bind me taking me captive but then I remembered the only power they had over me was the power I gave them.

Suddenly I realized that all my doubts, fears and failures that were posing as the “Big Questions” in my life were causing me to look only at myself and who I am what I have or have not been able to accomplish in my life. But then I remembered something I had memorized long ago. At first it was only a whisper but when I chose to listen to what was being said the whisper became louder and louder. “You keep in him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you.” (Isaiah 26:3)

 It was then I began to match my “Big Questions” with the promises I found in God’s word. The more I focused on His love the less power my fears had over me. When my mind was filled with His promises there wasn't room my doubts and failure.  Finally, I understood that the “Big Question” was really, “Am I putting my trust in God or in myself?”

Lord Jesus, I find in You the answer to all my doubts, fears and failures. The knowledge that I find when my mind is stayed on You rescues me and brings me peace.