Prayers in the Darkness

I put my eye mask in the microwave to warm it for a few seconds so I could get some relief from the pain in my eye. My back had gone out the day before, but I couldn't take anything for it because I'd be having surgery done on my eye the next day. So instead I went to the freezer to get an ice pack. That's when I heard the loud pop coming from the microwave. I had put the eye mask in the microwave for too long and it had exploded.

I sat down in my chair on the porch. I put the ice bag on my sore back and held my warm coffee mug to my eye. As I reached over to turn the lamp on with my one free hand I saw a few sparks fly; that's when I realized that the dog had chewed through the cord. I settled down in the darkness and began to pray.

My prayer wasn't eloquent; in fact, I didn't say anything at all. I just sat in the darkness facing East and waited for the Sun to rise. Since I had risen well before the Sun, I knew it would take a while. The darkness dominated the sky except for a few small pinpricks of light. The light coming from the handful of stars seemed cold and distant. It was dark, but still I kept my eyes on the eastern sky.

I've lost track of how many sunrises I've seen. But I know this for a fact: the Sun always rises whether I see it or not. The coldness of the air around me that morning was matched by the coldness I felt in my heart. But my faith isn't based on my feelings any more than the rising of the Sun is based on if I see it or not. I sat in the darkness praying, without feeling, but with faith.

Faith is to be sure of what you hope for and confident about what you don't see. Sometimes faith means you sit in the darkness praying and encouraging yourself with God's word. "Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord!" (Psalm 27:14) So I pray in response to His word, "Lord, you are my only source of strength and courage. I wait for you."

Slowly the light began to overtake the darkness. First, I only saw a few of the dark shadows flee. Next I noticed that the black and grey around me was exchanged for color. As the Sun rose higher and higher in the sky I closed my eyes and let its warmth bathe my face in the same way that I had let the light of God's word bathe my spirit while I prayed in the darkness.