When I am Afraid...

I have always enjoyed the humor of Chonda Pierce so when I heard that her first movie was coming out I decided to check out the trailer. I hadn't realized that her husband had died last year during brain surgery. Seeing that the week before my own brain surgery made it hard for me to sleep.

I woke up in the middle of the night and thought about how Chonda Pierce's husband had died and then I reminded myself of the verse, "When I am afraid I will put my trust in You."(Psalm 56:3) To be honest I don't like to admit when I'm afraid but I think that's just my pride. I find that in the night it is easier for me to be humble and to admit that I need help. This verse comforts me because it reminds me that I'm not alone the psalmist was afraid sometimes too.

"Trust - Hebrew batah. The word means the sense of well-being and security that results from having something or someone in whom to place confidence...It means to live at ease because of confidence in God."(Skip Moen) I lay in bed asking God to help me find this sense of well-being and security; I asked Him to help me turn my mind to Him and not to the thing that was causing me to be afraid.

I thought about how He established the earth and fixed its dimensions. I put my confidence in the God who laid the cornerstone of the earth while the morning stars sang together and all the sons of God shouted for joy. I bathed my mind with thoughts of the One who knows the road to the home of light but who also knows where darkness lives. And who but He can bring out the constellations in their seasons?  The dark clouds of fear had to yield their hold on me as I began to meditate on the One who is adorned with majesty and splendor, clothed with honor and glory. How can it be that such a God like this would care for me?

Meditating on God's glory brought with it a sense of security but when I remembered the words of Jesus I felt not only security but comfort. I thought about how Jesus confronted His disciples anxiety by reminding them of the Heavenly Father's care for His creation. "Aren't two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them falls to the ground without your Father's consent. But even the hairs of your head have all been counted. Don't be afraid therefore; you are worth more than many sparrows." (Matthew 10:29-31)

Yes, I was afraid last night until I put my trust in the God who loves me.