Someone To Walk Beside You

"My mother taught me,' said the young man,' That sometimes you have to go through dark valleys in life." Then he added, "But she also taught me that you don't have to go through them alone." I was in one of those dark valleys and I thanked him for his encouraging words. However, it was what he said next that brought healing. "Today it's okay if you don't feel encouraged. Today it's okay if you need to cry and grieve your loss." What a gift it is when we give permission for someone to grieve their loss!

When my daughter was diagnosed with cancer many well intentioned people said, "Well at least it's not life threatening." Or she heard, "I know someone who has a far worse cancer than yours." The reality was that although her cancer wasn't life threatening it was life altering. She had to suffer the death of some of her dreams. There is still a shadow of illness that, although nobody sees it, daily follows her. What she needed and still needs is someone who would listen with sympathetic ears.

I know a mother whose daughter was born with several physical challenges. I think even she has lost count of how many nights she has spent in hospital waiting rooms. Strangers upon seeing her daughter often comment, "You know it's amazing what doctors will be able to do for her." What the strangers don't know is how many surgeries have already been done and have failed. What my friend really needs is someone whose heart is tender and who will give her permission to feel grief for the pain her child must suffer.

"She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue." (Proverbs 31:26) I was surprised by the comforting words of my son. The words of wisdom that I had shared with him when he was growing up were not my own they were the words I found in the twenty third Psalm. The perfect picture of not only permitting others to grieve but also entering into their grief is found in Jesus when He stood with Martha and Mary at the tomb of their dead brother. He wept. He acknowledged and understood their grief. First He shared their grief and then He shared His power to restore life.

Lord Jesus, thank You so much for Your example. Thank You for teaching me by example how to grieve with those who grieve. And thank that after the tears are shed there is the promise of Resurrection.