Nobody's Girl

When someone is deceived they do not know that they are deceived because they are deceived. This is a story about how I was deceived and how the truth set me free.

When I made my grand entrance onto planet earth my family already seemed kind of crowded. My twenty-eight-year-old mother and thirty-year-old father already had two sons, Nicky and Freddy. Freddy came on the scene when Nicky was only eleven months old. At least I had waited till Freddy was fourteen months old before I showed up. But no one seemed to appreciated it. In fact, all that any one did in the house after I went to all the trouble of getting there was to cough and cough and cough. I think I heard that everyone in the family, including my mother, had something called bronchitis.

The first lie that was whispered into my freshly opened ears was, "Nobody cares about you," Mother  took me to the doctor for a check up. While we were there she told the doctor that she was worried that something was wrong with me because I didn't cry. The doctor simply told her that I was too good for my own good. I didn't cry because I already had begun to believe the lie, "Don't bother to cry because nobody cares."

We lived with Aunt Sit and Uncle George in the Colonel Cooke family home. Since mother was so busy with the boys I spent most of my time with Aunt Sit and Uncle George. Uncle George lived in his bed and sometimes I'd cuddle with him. He was sad and I wanted to try to make him smile. Aunt Sit made wonderful brown bread.When she was baking her bread the whole house smelled like happiness. Even though I spend most of my time with Aunt Sit and Uncle George, I slept in a crib near my mother and my father. At least I did until one day when every thing changed.

On that day I got tired. I was only fifteen months, and I wanted to lie down in my crib. I went into my room and then I went to my crib. That was when my mother said, "Sarah, don't wake the baby!"
I remember thinking, "I thought I was the baby!" That same year my Aunt Sit's only son gave his mother a granddaughter. Aunt Sit was elated! I, however, was no longer her special little girl. I had been replaced. The liar spoke to me again, "You are NOBODY's girl"

A couple of months later my mother and father found out they were expecting another baby. They decided to move up to Signal Mountain and stay with my grandparents until they could find a house of their own. I still remember all the commotion and getting ready to go. I was excited, but I didn't understand why. The next thing I remember was watching my family drive away. Mom and Dad, Nicky, Freddy, and Racie--the new baby who had replaced me. They all left without me. I don't know if I cried or not, I just remember hearing the liar whisper to my heart, "Nobody cares about you. You are nobody's girl. Nobody wants you." And so the seeds of deception were planted deeply into this little girl's heart. I was deceived; but I didn't know I was deceived because I was deceived.

This is how my story began. This was when I first began to try to understand how I could make someone care about me. I began to try to figure out how to become somebody's girl. I deeply wanted someone to want me. This is how the story began, but the story ended in the recovery room. I saw a vision that night that exposed the lie I had lived with all my life. When I saw Jesus that night, He told me who I really am. He told me the truth and it set me free.

I share more with you tomorrow.

Jason Gray - Remind Me Who I Am