When Tears are Transformed

Did you know that the Bible tells us that God has put all of our tears in a bottle? Have you ever wondered why? Not only does Psalm 56 say that He's storing our tears, it also says that He's keeping a record of all our sleepless nights. He pays attention to the nights His children toss and turn. Like any good parent He is aware of His children's grief. He keeps accurate records of His children's pain; none of it has ever gone unnoticed.

I have always thought that some things are best not remembered. I have often told myself to smile and say, "I'm okay." In fact, I first learned to do that when I was an inmate at the state mental hospital. I was eighteen and someone asked me how I was doing, so I proceeded to tell her. After I finished she walked away shaking her head. A fellow inmate pulled me aside and said, "Just because they ask doesn't mean they want to know." That was totally new information for me, and after that I tried to adjust my response to what the one asking really wanted to hear.

But not where my Heavenly Father was concerned. Sometimes my response to Him is simply to weep long with bitter tears. Some grief cannot be spoken in any language except that of weeping and wailing. And how does my Heavenly Father respond? He bottles up my tears because they are precious to Him. He keeps a record of my sorrow because He not only notices my pain, He keeps track of it.

But why? Why doesn't He just fix everything now! Surely the Sovereign God of the Universe could just make things right! Can't He? And if He can, why won't He, if He cares so much! Why must there be graves and weeping mothers and fathers? Why must children know the taste of tears when a parent dies? Why must brothers and sisters be parted so soon? There was so much left unsaid; there was still so much left to say.

And why didn't Jesus come sooner to Lazarus' grave? And why did He stand outside the grave weeping with Lazarus' sister when He could have healed him, if He had only come when they asked Him to? Lazarus would have never died and there would be no need for the taste of tears.

We cannot always understand why, even if we are told. We are children of the Eternal One, yet we live confined by time. My own dear children often didn't understand the limitations I had put on them. Often my heart was grieved when I needed to allow them to experience pain even though I knew their pain would one day be redeemed. I knew that one day they they would be adults and understand what they could not understand as children. Still, I was always grieved when they were grieved.

I think this is one of the reasons I like Carrie Newcomer's song Geodes. In her song she says, "Some say geodes are made from the pocket of tears, trapped away in small places for year upon years. Pressed down and transformed, 'till the true self was born, and the old world moved on like the notes of a song."

I can't tell you exactly why God is saving our tears in a bottle or keeping a record of our sleepless nights because I'm still on this side of eternity. However, I'm positive it has something to do with redemption. I believe that when He Himself wipes the last tears from our eyes that it will be then that He shows transformed tears and sleepless night. At that moment weeping and sorrow will flee away.