Will You Join Me?

Okay, I admit it I was afraid. I didn't want to be confronted with all the possibilities. I felt like a little girl hiding her eyes hoping that if I didn't look it wouldn't be there. But then at 2 AM I was fully awake and decided to face my fears and go to the website that gave me the information about dealing with this brain tumor. I felt like Gideon when God told him that if he was afraid to take someone with him and go to the enemy camp at night and listen to what they were saying.

The information was daunting. There doesn't seem to be any easy way to get rid of a brain tumor. I had avoided looking at this information for four days but at some point you just have to come face to face with the things you fear and decide what to do about them. When I finished reading I shut the computer and went to sleep. Like Gideon I was aware of the magnitude of the situation and my own weakness. Like Gideon God had reminded me that no matter what I was facing I was not facing it alone. To quote from what the angel of the LORD told Gideon, "But I will be with you." (Judges 6:16)

Can I share with you something else I'm afraid of? I'm getting ready to have a new web site and a podcast. I was in the car talking to myself yesterday telling myself that I could do it and not to be afraid. A friend of mine is helping me with it. He has been very patient with me. I have been slow to respond to his emails because I'm afraid. I told myself to step out in faith.

One of the things I've learned in life is that, "Each heart knows its own bitterness." (Proverbs 14:10) You might not be facing brain surgery like I am but that does not diminish the sorrow of your heart. The reason I want to write is that I am comforting myself by what I believe and by sharing this comfort I find that the bitterness of my own heart is redeemed.

I invite you to join me on this journey of faith and hope as I face my fears. I'm praying that you too will look at that thing that is haunting you the thing that wakes you in the night with dread. I also pray you will join me as I learn to cast my burden on the Lord.