The Prayer Book

It was the last entry of her prayer book. It had taken her several years to complete this book and the last page showed the difficulty she had writing with her loss of vision. She had chosen Philippians chapter two as the theme of her last recorded prayer. “Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.” These verses not only reflected how she chose to pray but how she lived her life as well.

Three months before she died my husband and I recognized that she and Papa needed help so we moved out of our home and into a spare bedroom in their house. I saw the need I wanted to meet it. I didn't want to be selfish but not wanting to be selfish didn't change the reality that I am a selfish person. Daily I turned to Philippians chapter two and prayed through it verse by verse. Day after day I asked God to allow me to have the same attitude that Christ Jesus did when he made himself nothing and took on the form of a servant. I believed that God could change my heart to match my actions.

We didn't find the prayer book until after Ma Belle had died. I couldn't help but marvel as I read page after page of how she struggled in the same way I did. “ All Scripture is God breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness.” 2 Timothy 3:16 Ma Belle's prayers were often based on the Scripture she was reading. Her prayers reflected how God's word was teaching her, rebuking her but also correcting her. I was encouraged to know I was not alone in my struggles to be the person God was calling me to be.

One of the difficulties Ma Belle prayed about was that she was going blind and losing her memory. She had always been a highly intelligent independent women. In the middle of her prayer book is a prayer of surrender, “Lord if you can use my weakness in the lives of those I love I am willing to be weak!” This was her prayer response to Philippians' admonition to count others more significant than yourself. How I marveled as I read this and recognized that God had called Ma Belle to use her weakness to serve me using the same verses He had used to call me to serve her!

Lord Jesus, thank you for your example of humility. Thank you for the encouragement that both Ma Belle and I found in you. Thank you for giving me examples like Ma Belle of those who shine like lights in a dark world. Help me to continue to obey you and work out my own salvation with fear and trembling, always remembering that it is you who works in me, both to will and work for your good pleasure.