"Remember and Do Not Forget"

The children must have found it when they were playing "library" upstairs with my book shelves. I found the two year old journal waiting for me this morning. I picked it up and began reading. I was amazed at how the memories I had written about came to life.

I began the habit of keeping a journal when I was nine years old.  I would begin my day by taking the essence of the day before and writing it down. I have heard that what you remember isn't as important as how you remember it. I think that how I choose to remember my days has been influenced by the fact that this practice of capturing the day that has just past is part of my quiet time with God. Sometimes I wake feeling like I've heard my name being called. I sit in silence enjoying the presences of God then I reflect on what happened the day before.

The Bible is full of Scriptures that tell us to remember what God has done. "Remember and do not forget," this is a admonition given several times in the book of Deuteronomy. "Praise the LORD, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits..."(Psalm 103:2)  "I will remember the deeds of the LORD; yes, I will remember your miracles of long ago." (Psalm 77:11) "Remember His wonders which He has done, His marvels and the judgments he uttered..." (Psalm 105:5)

This past week a friend came by who had become a widow when her children were still very young. When her husband died she also lost her home and her income. It was a very frightful time in her life. She smiled, however, as she remembered how God had taken care of her. "I always get goose bumps when I remember how fully God has met my needs."  Her memories were not dominated by the difficulties she had encountered but by how she had encountered God in the midst of her difficulties.

Lord Jesus, the truth is sometimes my memories can be very dark but if I look for You, even in the darkest times I can find You. Help me as I reflect on my yesterdays to see Your hand of protection. Let the memories of Your faithfulness to me in the past become the courage in need to face the future.

Paying the Debt You Do Not Owe

Why is this so hard? Sometimes I just gloss over it and say,"Never mind it's okay," because I don't want to take the emotion energy to deal with it. It never seems to come at a convenient time and sometimes I have been held hostage for days by it unable to escape. And why was it the only conditional part of the prayer that Jesus taught His disciples, "Forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors?"

I had a group of friends over at my house yesterday and as we were talking about this several  things came up. First, we looked at humility when there is the need to forgive someone. This really comes out in the story Jesus used to illustrate forgiveness. He told how a servant was forgiven a debt of 10,000 talents that would translate to the equivalent of about $300,000,000 dollars who then refuses to forgive the debt of a few dollars. My friend pointed out that the man who had been forgiven the large sum had initially said, "Be patient with me, I'm planning to pay you back."

To be able to truly forgive someone I need to understand how much I have been forgiven. When the wicked servant said, "I'll pay you back," it showed he really didn't understand how much he owed and there was no way he could pay it back. When I have been filled with angry resentment towards someone I also feel superior to them. From my position of superiority I am right in both judging and condemning them. If I don't compare my debt to God with what others owe me then my pride doesn't allow me to forgive.

In the Lord's prayer we have a definition of forgiveness. If someone has wronged me they owe me a debt, something has been taken away from me.  It could be tangible or emotional. Either way it is a debt that must be paid. So in forgiveness who pays this debt? The person who forgives absorbs the debt! That's not all! Sometimes the thing I have forgiven has many ramifications and it's not a one time payment. And what if I pay this debt from my own resources and the person who wronged me doesn't appreciate the sacrifice I've made? It's no wonder forgiveness is so hard!

Lord Jesus, please help me to humble my heart and recognize the gift of grace You gave me when You payed the debt I could not pay. Lord, thank You for giving me the grace to forgive those who are in my debt. Help me make payment on their debt to me by not punishing them,avoiding them or trying to make them seem small in the eyes of others. Lord, You said, "Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other just as in Christ God forgave you." (Eph. 4:32) Please help me remember the grace You extended to me when You paid the debt You did not owe so that I can follow Your example.

A Song of Ascent

I don't know why it always takes me by surprise when difficult things happen it shouldn't but it does. I was thinking about that when I was on the tour bus in Israel going through the Judean Wilderness. I looked out the window and all I could see for miles and miles were barren hills. Three times a year the people of God were required to go on a Pilgrimage to Jerusalem that would take them through this wilderness.

What happens in a wilderness when there is no food or water except what you bring yourself? What would it be like in the summer time when the heat could reach up to 120F or in the winter when there might be snow along the route? If that wasn't enough there were bandits and killers hiding along the wayside to take advantage of the pilgrim. Was God aware of this when He set up these times for His people to come to Jerusalem to worship?

I am often surprised by the wilderness experiences in my life but I shouldn't be because I think they are preludes to worship. The Psalmist said, "I lift up my eyes to the hills." (Psalm 121) it was very possible that the hills were in this Judea Wilderness. The hills could be harboring bandits and murderers or wild beasts so he asks, "Where does my help come from?" There is nothing like going through a wilderness experience to exposes your vulnerability it also exposes what you believe or don't believe. It was in the midst of this uncomfortable journey that the Psalmist declares,"My help comes from the Lord, who made heaven and earth."

The other day I was going through an emotional wilderness it was both uncomfortable and unpleasant but I found comfort in meditating on Psalm 121 because I knew it was a Song of Ascent, a song the pilgrims would have sung on their way up to Jerusalem. Wilderness experiences are part of the journey to worship. Every time I'm in the wilderness I see again my need for God. The pressures of the wilderness and the discomfort cause me to call out to God for help. When I cry out to God I find again that it is the Lord who is my keeper and that He is worthy of my trust.

Lord, You know that if life was always easy I would be very independent trusting my own ability. Thank You for the prelude to worship which includes wilderness experiences because when I am put in situations that expose my vulnerably I am at the same time given an opportunity to see Your strength.

Finding Balance in an Unbalanced World

Maybe I should have disqualified myself as soon as I heard the title. I was asked to speak at a church and when I asked what they wanted me to speak about they told me, "Finding Your Balance in a Unbalanced World." I accepted the challenge.

Where should I begin? The pressures of my own like made me feel like an animal of prey surrounded by predators. So I began by looking at my own unbalanced self and trying to find  someone in the Bible who matched how I felt. I found her, her name was Martha. I could see her coming into focus . Her house was filled with people and she was filled with frustration. So what did she do? She went and complained to Jesus.

Now, that doesn't really sound very spiritual and yet I think perhaps it is a starting place. Sometimes that's what my prayers look like. I go to God and pour out my confusion, my frustration, my complaint. I bring to Him the things I can't fix. Jesus was Martha's friend and because of that she felt safe to be real. It's the same with me because I believe I am loved and accepted I can let down my guard and expose my heart to the only one who can help.

Jesus meets me where I am. I don't learn balance in spite of my unbalanced world but in the midst of it. Jesus meets me where I am and invites me to come to Him and seek Him and open up to Him. It's in times of intense stress I recognize my intense need for a Savior.

Lord Jesus, thank You for Your invitation to come to You when I am weary and heavy laden with the stress of this world. You are the Prince of Peace and in You I find balance in an balanced world.

In the Valley of Elah

I was standing there with the rest of the group that had come on the tour to the Valley of Elah. Together we had listened to the story of David and Goliath. Our guide pointed out the place were David had picked up the five smooth stones for his sling shot. I too bent down and selected five smooth stones that is when it happened.

I stood up and I no longer saw an empty field. I was no long surrounded by silence but instead by an enemy that was taunting me and mocking the power of the God I had professed to trust in. The enemy stood before me mocking. Behind me were my kin paralyzed by the taunts of the enemy.

In this Valley of Elah only one champion had been chosen to do the battle a giant. Defeat him and the victory was yours. Before him was a large shield that covered his whole body, he wore a coat of mail and in his hand he held a huge bronze spear. I had seen him before with the eyes of my imagination when I was a child Then, like David, I imaged myself running to the battle slaying him and leading those behind me into a great victory. Today I held my five smooth stones and wept.

Suddenly I was back in the present and saw the sympathetic gaze of one of my fellow sojourners. "Sarah, why are you crying?" I humbly told him that though I wanted to be brave like David I realized I had allowed the enemy's "champions" to mock God's power in my life. There were areas where I stood immobilized because though I wanted to believe I saw failure far more clearly than I saw victory. If that were not enough I also realized that I had passed my doubts and fears on to those I love. I had taught them by my example that there were giants of the enemy that must be respected.

Lord, You are the same yesterday, today and forever. You gave David victory over the giant who mocked Your power and I believe that that same power is available for me today. Please help me fill my mind with who You are so much that when the enemy sends the champion of fear to paralyze me I will be able to conquer him by faith. Oh yes, and let my victory be multiplied in the lives of those I love.

A Spiritual Geography Lesson

I was in the fourth grade when I was introduced to geography. I hated it. Because of my learning disabilities the maps looked like someone spilled colored spaghetti on them. I had trouble visualizing or imaging the places I was told about. I am amazed at how things have changed, now I am fascinated by maps and find that I can learn spiritual truths from geography.

It's in Deuteronomy 11 that God teaches His people a spiritual geography lesson.  He does it by comparing Egypt to Israel. In Egypt the people sowed their seeds and irragated it. The land was dependent on the Nile for water. When God lead His people into the Promise Land the geography was different now the land was a land of hills and valleys. This land would not receive it's water from irrigation but instead, "drink water by the rain from heaven."

This is where I find the spiritual lesson in what God had to say about the land. "The eyes of the LORD your God are always upon it, from the first of the year to the end of the year. And if you will indeed obey my commandments that I command you today, to love the LORD your God, and to serve him with all your heart and with all your soul, he will give the rain for your land in its season, the early rain and the later rain, that you may gather in your grain and your wine and your oil."(Deuterium 11:12-14)

Sometimes in life I experience spiritual drought. When this happens and life seems dry and unpleasant I am faced the choice of what to do about it. Do I go back to "Egypt" where although I experienced slavery I had some control over getting what I wanted by my own efforts?  Or do I lift my face to the heavens and call out for mercy?

Lord Jesus, I am dependent on You. When times of spiritual drought come let my prayer be, "Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts! And see if there be any grievous way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting!" Psalm 139:23-24

Chosen

I stood in Israel listening to the guide feeling the hot sun. I was physically there and while I listened I saw with the inner eye of my spirit two stories playing themselves out on the geography of the land. It reminded me somewhat of watching television when my father has the remote, you never end up watching just one program. The story I saw on the screen of my soul was of two men, two kings chosen by God.

First, I saw Saul hiding himself among the baggage when he was proclaimed king. When I first heard that story of Saul I thought to myself, "Now, that is a picture of humility!" But was it, was it really humility that made Saul hide or was it pride at the core of his being. The scene in my mind changes to a youth who has also been anointed to be king. I see him in the Elah Valley facing Goliath. He does not hide from the challenge but instead rushes to do battle with the champion of the Philistines. Is this pride or humility?  As I stand on the ground that they once stood on I ask myself how does humility play it's self out in my life with boldness or timidity?

Both Saul and David were anointed to be king each were chosen by God. They had their victories but they also had their time of failure. I am reminded of the Scripture, "All have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God" (Romans 3:23) When confronted with the failure how did they each respond? Saul responded to Samuel by denying he had done anything wrong. When Nathan the prophet confronts David with his sin David responded with, "I have sinned against God." (2 Samuel 12:13) I have heard that true confession is to agree with God. I think perhaps this is also a picture of true humility.

Standing on the real land where these real people lived out their lives I ask myself the question, "What am I to do with the Scripture that says I too have been chosen, chosen before the foundation of the world?" Like Saul and David I have been chosen to be holy and blameless before him. Like them I face situations that make me want to run and hide. How shall I face the challenges of my life, with timidity or humble boldness? I too have failed,often. When confronted with my sin do I defend my self or like David simply say, "I have sinned against God."?

Lord Jesus, I am quick to stand in judgment of Saul and to see my life reflected in David's choices and yet the truth is I am often afraid and hide from the challenges You place before me. When I am confronted with my sin I am quick to explain that it is not really my fault and seek to place the quilt with someone else. As my mind travels back from where I have been and what I have seen in Israel let me life my today as one who has been chosen. Help me to be humble and bold and quick to repent. Show me how to sink my roots deep into Your promises as one who has been chosen to bring You glory. May both my identity and strength come from You.

Beneath the Protective Wing

A cacophony of sights and sounds, places and people flood my mind. "Tell us about Israel!" I try to speak, but find myself unable to sort out all the images that rush to present themselves. My family waits for me to speak. The stories I tell are about the people I have met; about  my friend who who gave me this amazing gift, a trip to Israel. "She's gone all the way to Israel and all she can tell us is about the people she's encountered!" My family smiles and shakes their head. Oh, but I have so much more I want to say, I just don't know how to sort it all out.

I awake is it 2 A.M. or 9 A.M.? It's jet lag, a confusion of time and place. I become fully awake and recognize my surroundings, I am back home on our farm in Georgia. It’s 2 A.M. In a sleepy fog, my mind is travelling back to Jerusalem. I am standing again on the temple mount, I hear the guide saying," This is where Jesus said,' Jerusalem, Jerusalem, who killed the prophets and stones those who are sent to her! How often I wanted to gather your children together, the way a hen gathers her chicks under her wings, and you were unwilling'." (Matthew 23:37)

Now mixed with the images of Jerusalem I see in my mind my grandson Jack standing before me, wanting to share his sense of wonder. He gently spreads the wing of the hen and says with an awed filled voice, "Mimi, isn't this beautiful!"  He loving holds the bird, wanting to share with me the beauty he has found.

As I drift off once more to sleep, I find the softness of my pillow resembles the downy feathers of a mother hen; my comforter is it's protective wing. I hear an invitation in this early morning waking to rest, to sleep to know a deep comfort of a loving God.

Oh Lord Jesus, just as Jack longed to share the wonder and beauty he has found in Your creation so I long to share the wonders that I found in Israel. Help me unwind the stories in mind and may I also share with others the peace I find beneath Your protective wing.

Comfort Beneath a Terebinth Tree

It's funny how things will sometimes catch my attention the terebinth tree is one of those things. I kept seeing it referred to in Scripture and wondered what it was. To my knowledge it doesn't grow in North Georgia. One of the places I found it in Scripture was when Abraham showed hospitality to the angel of the Lord. Yesterday when we were at the Elah Valley our guide pointed one out and told us about it.

She told us about the extensive root system and that it could grow quite large. It was a very hot day and the Sun was beating down I was amazed at the comfort I found in the shade of that tree. As I stood there cooled by the shade of it's branches I understood why the terebinth tree would be known as a hospitality tree.

"Reach out and touch the branches and then touch it to your tongue." I did as she suggested and was surprised by the taste of salt. That taste of salt on my tongue reminded me of the taste of tears. I stood there sheltered from the scorching heat enjoying the hospitality of this ancient tree and remembering other times I have found comfort while also experiencing a taste of tears.

I have often found that those who have endured many hardships often have also developed an extensive root system. The hardships of life have caused them to go deep into the word of God to find comfort and strength. When they share the comfort they have found it is an oasis for my soul.

Lord Jesus, may life's difficulties cause me also to sink my roots deep into Your promises. When I have a taste of tears on my tongue remind me of the terebinth tree and change my sorrows into a place of welcome and comfort for my fellow pilgrims.