Why is this so hard? Sometimes I just gloss over it and say,"Never mind it's okay," because I don't want to take the emotion energy to deal with it. It never seems to come at a convenient time and sometimes I have been held hostage for days by it unable to escape. And why was it the only conditional part of the prayer that Jesus taught His disciples, "Forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors?"
I had a group of friends over at my house yesterday and as we were talking about this several things came up. First, we looked at humility when there is the need to forgive someone. This really comes out in the story Jesus used to illustrate forgiveness. He told how a servant was forgiven a debt of 10,000 talents that would translate to the equivalent of about $300,000,000 dollars who then refuses to forgive the debt of a few dollars. My friend pointed out that the man who had been forgiven the large sum had initially said, "Be patient with me, I'm planning to pay you back."
To be able to truly forgive someone I need to understand how much I have been forgiven. When the wicked servant said, "I'll pay you back," it showed he really didn't understand how much he owed and there was no way he could pay it back. When I have been filled with angry resentment towards someone I also feel superior to them. From my position of superiority I am right in both judging and condemning them. If I don't compare my debt to God with what others owe me then my pride doesn't allow me to forgive.
In the Lord's prayer we have a definition of forgiveness. If someone has wronged me they owe me a debt, something has been taken away from me. It could be tangible or emotional. Either way it is a debt that must be paid. So in forgiveness who pays this debt? The person who forgives absorbs the debt! That's not all! Sometimes the thing I have forgiven has many ramifications and it's not a one time payment. And what if I pay this debt from my own resources and the person who wronged me doesn't appreciate the sacrifice I've made? It's no wonder forgiveness is so hard!
Lord Jesus, please help me to humble my heart and recognize the gift of grace You gave me when You payed the debt I could not pay. Lord, thank You for giving me the grace to forgive those who are in my debt. Help me make payment on their debt to me by not punishing them,avoiding them or trying to make them seem small in the eyes of others. Lord, You said, "Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other just as in Christ God forgave you." (Eph. 4:32) Please help me remember the grace You extended to me when You paid the debt You did not owe so that I can follow Your example.
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