Release

I don't remember exactly when my fingers went numb but I kept hoping that if I ignored the problem it would go away. I was wrong. I began not only having numbness but difficulty using my hands particularly my right hand. Then the pain came, waking me up at night. Finally, I went to the doctor and he explained that the median nerve going through the carpal tunnel in my wrist was being compressed. He said it would require surgery where he would cut into the ligament that was pressing on the nerve. He said if I left it untreated the nerve could be permanently damaged, causing weakness, numbness, and tingling. His last words to me where, "I recommend you have release surgery."

"See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no "root of bitterness" springs up and causes trouble, and by it many become defiled." ( Hebrew 12:15) Bitterness in my spiritual life is like the ligament that is pressing on the nerve leading to my hand because bitterness can cause me to fail to receive God's grace. Without God's grace flowing freely in my life I'm as useless as a hand in pain that doesn't work.

I had the surgery done a couple of weeks ago. I was unable to cut through my own wrist and then cut through the tendon to release the nerve. However, I did participate. First, I admitted I had a problem. Then I submitted to the surgery it was done while I was awake. I did not get off the table but stayed there while the surgeon released my nerve.

I find regularly in my Spiritual life that roots of bitterness have begun to get a strangle hold on different areas of my life. I don't always deal with them right away I really want them to just go away. But when the pain and weakness gets to the place where I can't ignore it anymore I come to the Great Physician for help. My responsibility is to humble myself and accept the discipline He chooses to bring so that I can be healed.

Oh Heavenly Father, You are the Great Physician I humbly come to You today and ask that you would examine my heart and show me where bitterness has gained a strangle hold. I submit myself to Your discipline so that I can know full release.