I was so tired it had been a long hard day and I was looking forward to the sweet release that comes with sleep. I eased myself down into the comfort of my bed when suddenly I felt like I was being smothered by a thick darkness, I found it difficult to breath. I got up and began to pray.
Many years ago I found a Scripture that has become a pattern for my prayers in the night. "On my bed I will remember you I will meditate on you through the watches of the night." (Psalm 63:6) So nighttime has become a time when I meditate on who God is. When I do this I find the darkness illuminated by meditating on Jesus as the Light of the World. On the nights when I feel lost and fearful I remember that I have a Great Shepherd who is not only leading me but has given His life for me. When the black of night brings with it the feeling of isolated loneliness I remember that one of the names given to Jesus was Emmanuel and that Jesus Himself has promised to never leave me or forsake me. However, on this particular night I could not get past the thick black darkness that seemed to be suffocating me every time I lay my head on the pillow.
By three in the morning I was ready for sleep I decided to meditate on what it meant to be baptized into Christ. "Do you not know that all of us who were baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into his death? We were buried therefore with him by baptism into death, in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glory of the Father, we too might walk in newness of life."(Romans 6:3,4) I figured I'd use the feeling of being smothered to identify with the death and burial of Christ. When I began I meditate on walking in the newness of life I was at last able to experienced the peace that released me and allowed me to fall into a deep sleep.
When I woke up I had two phone messages. One was from a man I go to church with. He had felt prompted to pray for me and was wondering what was going on. The other message was from a friend of mine who wanted to tell me about a dream she had had. My friend finally got in touch with me two days latter. She told me she couldn't get the dream out of her mind and wanted to tell me about it.
She told me how all night long she had watched as I was being smothered by a thick black darkness. She said she watched in her dream as I would fight against the darkness but in her dream every time I lay down the blackness would again smother me. She told me the dream seemed to go on all night until suddenly I had a peaceful look on my face and fell back into the darkness. Then she watched as invisible hands lifted me towards the light. How strange it was to have someone else dreaming about what I was experiencing!
Lord Jesus, You are the Light of the World. You are the Great Shepherd not only leading but protecting me. You are Emmanuel, God with us, thank You that You never leave me or forsake me. And thank You for being the Prince of Peace who has invited me to be baptized into You and walk with You in newness of life.
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