How Do You See Yourself and Why?

"Who do you identify with in that movie and why?" This is a question that often is asked after I watch a movie with my friends and family. The character I identify with helps me understand how I perceive myself. But the reality of who I really am isn't seen on a movie screen. I find out the truth about who I really am when I wrestle with fear and doubt in the midnight hours. What I believe is uncovered in times of difficulty better than in times when every thing is going smoothly.

When he left his homeland he left with the understanding that his brother was waiting to kill him. He had fled to his mother's ancestral home and while there he had gotten married and produced a large family. But now he was obeying the command he had heard from God, "Get up, leave this land, and return to you native land." (Genesis 31:13) However, there was a problem, Esau was coming out to meet him and he was bringing 400 men with him!

After Jacob did every thing he could think to do he was alone at night and found himself wrestling with an angel until daybreak. After the angel caused his hip to be out of joint the angel asked him what his name was. "Jacob!" he replied. Jacob, the name given him from birth. The name that meant supplanter, the name that carried with it the identity of one who wrongfully seizes or holds the position that belongs to another. After his night of wrestling he was given a new name, Israel. From then on he would be known as Israel but he would also walk with a limp.

I have had nights when the circumstances I faced caused me to wrestle with who I really am and what I really believe. I didn't have to wrestle with doubt as long as I could be busy but when night came and there was nothing else I could do the wrestling began. Alone in the darkness I not only wrestle with the question about who I am I also wrestle with the question who is God.

Lord Jesus, help me to be an over-comer. In the darkness when I am faced with my weakness show me Your strength. When I struggle with not knowing who I am let me rest in the truth that I am known by the God of the Universe.