The Diary

I have been keeping a diary since I was nine years old. I begin each day by trying to capture the essence of the day before. I write in the morning of the new day because that gives me the perspective of a rested mind to review the things of the previous day. I have always thought of the week between Christmas and New Years as the hallway between the years. I prepare for the New Year by reading my diary for the year I'm leaving.

It almost feels like time travel because when I read what I have written I feel like I'm reliving the events. This year in particular has been so full. I almost stopped reading because at one point the grief I felt over losing two special people in my life was so strong and so fresh I just broke down crying. But I kept reading and crying and remembering. Feeling grief and sorrow is part of the price of being truly alive.

As I continued to read watching the landscape of my life unfold before me I became aware of the omniscient view this gave me of my own life. I could see looking back things that were hidden from me. I saw how often God had chosen to redeem my suffering rather than removing them. I saw a theme of grace, mercy and peace because of my relationship to the shepherd of my days.

Each New Year I start a new diary. The pages are clean my future unknown. But each year I also begin my journey to read through the Bible. I find great courage as I read with an omniscient view the story of the Patriarchs.  I read how Abraham, "obeyed when he was called to go out to a place that he was to receive as an inheritance. And he went out, not knowing where he was going." (Hebrews 11:8) As I write the record of my days I remind myself that the same God who was with Abraham in his journeying is with me. What is hidden from me is not hidden the author and finisher of my faith.

Heavenly Father, looking back over this past year I see Your great faithfulness to me. I see the blessings I see Your presence in times of trail and I find courage for tomorrow. What is unknown to me is known to You and I will place my confidence and trust in You.