When I Grow Up

"What do you want to do when you grow up?" I remember adults asking me this question when I was a child. I was never sure how to answer it. Then I began asking myself the question, "What do I want to do when I grow up?" I kept asking myself this and then one day when I was in my thirties I realized I was grown up and I needed an answer. When I was in my thirties I finally dared to voice my dream of being a speaker and a writer.

The truth is the dream I had had been slowly forming inside me but I was afraid to voice it because it seemed so impossible. What I wanted to be when I grew up stemmed from what I believed was my Spiritual gift of encouragement. "As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God's varied grace."(1 Peter 4:10) In my thirties I began to get invitations to speak but what about writing would that ever be possible?

Thirty years have passed since I dared to verbalize my dream of being a speaker and a writer. I have wondered if this desire of mine would ever be realized. I have discovered that while seeking to  be a good steward of the gifts God has given me and wanting to use them to serve others, others have used their gifts to serve me. This has been humbling but it has also served to keep the focus in the right direction. "As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God's varied grace: whoever speaks, as one who speaks oracles of God; whoever serves, as one who serves by the strength that God supplies-- in order that in everything God may be glorified through Jesus Christ." (1 Peter 4:10,11)

The problem I encountered in my desire to write was that ever since I was child I struggled with dyslexia. From my earliest childhood memories I had been taught that I was deficient in my ability to express myself correctly. Yet morning after morning I received messages of hope and comfort from God's Word, messages I longed to share with others.

I believe now that even my struggles were part of God's gift to me. I believe that they were part of His gift to me, "in order that in everything God may be glorified." Instead of being self-sufficient God blessed me with two very special friends. Ruth who has used her gifts to edit and Esther who has been using her gifts to put my writings in book form.

Lord, thank You for giving me Your word. Thank You for daily filling my life with the comfort and the courage I find in Your word. Thank You for giving me the privilege of being part of Your plan to share that encouragement with others. Thank You for bringing other people into my life to make that possible. Thank You for redeeming my weakness and making them windows of You grace.