Saturday, June 27, 2015

A Shared Experience part 2

Riding the waves of grief.

Victory in Jesus! April 20, , 1987

These are the words I woke up with this morning. The radio told of a man who was a prisoner of war but when he heard that the war was over and America had won he told his captors that from then on he was no longer their prisoner.  I identify.  I have felt like a prisoner of grief for the last few days, but I know that I have victory in Jesus through faith in his word. I know that I must still grieve for the loss of my baby.  It is a job that has been given me. But I will not be defeated. I will not be overcome by grief but I will overcome grief by the love of my Savior!

Help me Father!  April 21,  1987

I am amazed how one moment I feel so on top of things and the next my heart feels crushed. Last night I cried myself to sleep. It's not that I don't trust the Lord it is just that the reality of the loss of my baby crushes my heart. As I lay there crying my heart reached out to the Lord.  Oh Father, give me a word. The words were short but real, "When you walk through the waters,  I will be with you. " (Isaiah 42) And so I was comforted knowing he was with me as I cried.

"Just as a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear hom. For he himself knows our frame; he is mindful that we are but dust." (Psalm 103:14) Daddy came and stayed with me when I labored to have Belle Marie.  I remember how he put his hand on my face and there was comfort in his presence. Oh Heavenly Father, cover my face with your hand as I labor in grief.

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