Bowing Down with Eyes Uplifted

"Sweet hour of prayer, sweet hour of prayer, That calls me from a world of care and bids me at my Father's throne make all my wants and wishes known!" I was a young woman caught up in the beautiful idea of this song. I decided I would take an hour and go before the throne of Heaven. It only took about five minutes before I found myself checking my watch to see if an hour was up. Something wasn't right but what was it?

In all the other spiritual disciplines I find myself doing something. Bible reading, study, meditation etc. all these involve effort on my part. But what I find when I pray is that it requires humility. When I look at the meaning of the word humility I find that it means to be close to the ground. In prayer the posture is often to kneel or even to prostrate yourself before the Lord. Maybe this is why I don't have as much trouble with next phrase of the song.

"In seasons of distress and grief, my soul has often found relief, and oft escaped the tempter's snare by thy return,sweet hour or prayer." I find it much easier for me to humble myself in prayer when I am in seasons of distress and grief. I think this is because the situation has already done the job of humbling me. In these times I become like a child who recognizes her need for her father.

"And since he bids me seek his face, believe his word and trust his grace, I'll cast on him my every care, and wait for thee, sweet hour of prayer." Again in these word I see humility. Acknowledging that I am not the master of my own fate but that I need to trust his grace. "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplications with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God."Philippians 4:6 The opposite of humbly calling on God in prayer is to carry with anxiety the weight of my own worries.

Lord Jesus, thank you for giving me this gift of communion with you in the form of prayer. Although I count it sweet I look forward to the day when, "I view my home and take my flight: This robe of flesh I'll drop and rise to seize the ever lasting prize; and shout, while passing thro' the air, "Farewell, farewell, sweet hour of prayer."

A Measure of Success

I felt like I had poured all of myself into my children. Now the success or failure of my life rested on their soldiers, at least that is how I felt. I watched as one of my children made choices that were contrary to what I had taught them. I began to fall into a depression. Over and over I heard,"All you have done has been in vain!" That's when I got a telephone call from someone who had lived with us many years earlier. I picked up the phone and heard,"I just called you to tell you that you have not lived your life in vain."

Upon what should I base the success or failure of how I've lived my life. I realize now how unfair it was for me to place that heavy burden on the back of my child. The girl who called to tell me that my life had not been lived in vain was someone who I had invested much of my life in yet when she left my home I could not see that anything I had done or said had been of value. God put her back in my life just when I needed her to teach me how to measure success.

If I measure the success or failure of my life by how it effects those around me then I must count the lives of Isaiah, Jeremiah, Ezekiel,and most of the prophets to be utter failures. I read in Ephesians 2:10 "For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared before-hand , that we should walk in them." To measure the success or failure of my life I can't look around me. I must look to God. If God is responsible for preparing the good works he has for me to do then he is also responsible for the outcome.

The main ingredient in understand this is faith. Not faith in my abilities or in outcome of my efforts. Because I have surrendered to the Lordship of Jesus Christ my success or failure is found in him. When I read about the people listed in Hebrews 11 I see some of them experiencing miracles while others are suffering ,"mocking and flogging,and even chains and imprisonment...of whom the world was not worthy." I see people who have chosen to live their lives here on earth but with their fixed on the promises of God and I want to be one of them.

Lord Jesus, thank you for letting me have a part in the work you are doing in my generation. Thank you that measure of the success of my life is not found in who I am but in who you are. And, oh yes, thank you for putting friends in my life to help me when I get tangled up in my own importance.

The Sophomore and the Shepherd

"Have you declared your major? What are you going to do with the rest of your life?" In the Sophomore year of college you are expected to know this. This will determine your future. This is also a major reason why many Sophomores in college suffer from depression and anxiety attacks!

I am one who likes to make plans. For many years I have had planners were I charted my course for the year, planning what I wanted to do and when I wanted to do it. This is not a bad thing unless somewhere in the charting of my course I begin to feel like I am in control of my future. Many years ago I found Proverbs 19:21 that I write at the top of my planner, "Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but its the purpose of the Lord that will stand."

When I am with "Sophomores" who are planning what to do with their lives I tell them what I tell myself, "It is good to make planes but don't forget who is in control. 'Trust in the Lord with your whole heart, don't lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him and he will direct your path'." Proverbs 3:5,6

I have sat beside several people at the end of their life and I see no planners beside their bed but there is something I have consistently encountered. "Sarah,will you say Psalm 23 with me?", and I do, "The Lord is my shepherd I shall not want." In someways they are like Sophomores getting ready to take their place in an unknown world. When they have put their trust in the Lord and know him as their Shepherd they are at peace.

Lord Jesus, you are the Good Shepherd. Help me to daily relinquish to you the burden of being the one who is in control of all that happens in my life and the lives of those I love.

A Promise Made Before Time Began

"He has made everything beautiful in its time. Also, he has put eternity into man's heart; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end." Ecclesiastes 3:11 When I was a little girl wanted to have more faith my mother pointed me to the Bible. What I have learned about faith through reading the Bible is to look at life through the lens of eternity. Reading from Genesis to Revelation year after year I have begun to see the heart of God and I have begun to glimpse eternity.

When you live your life based on eternity it changes the way you live. I think about Daniel in the Bible. He had seen his home destroyed, he was probably from a royal linage but in captivity they changed his name. Daniel resolved that he would not defile himself, they could change his name but they could not change his heart. Daniel from the time of his youth, even in captivity, was someone who based his life not on temporal circumstances but a view of eternity.

"The knowledge of the truth that leads to godliness-a faith and knowledge resting on the hope of eternal life, which God, who does not lie, promised before the beginning of time..." Titus 1:1,2 Hope is the confident expectation of good. When our hope is anchored in the promises of God it changes how we live. Why did Daniel resolve not to defile himself? He realized that he was an alien and stranger on this earth he based how he chose to live on the promises of a God who does not lie.

"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in heavenly places, even as he chose us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before him." Ephesians 1:3,4 How shall I live my life today? In what will I choose to invest my time and energy? Will I allow the enemy of my soul to mar the image of God in me or will I let the knowledge of truth lead me to godliness so that I can stand blameless before the God of love at the end of this day?

Lord Jesus, in your word I see the promises made before time began. Enlighten my eyes and heart to know what the hope to which you have called me is. Show me the riches of you glorious inheritance and let that be what I use to chart my course in life. Let my life so shine with the light of eternity that it causes others to look to you.

A View of Heaven from the Brink of Eternity

"Sarah,
Sorry I haven't kept in touch much. Haven't been feeling as well the past few months. Five months ago, the oncologist said I had a maximum of six months to live. They see cancer all through my skeleton. "

This note fell out "The Father's House". My friend Diane Dew had been asked to write the forward to this book which is a collection of Spurgeon's sermon's on Heaven. She sent me a copy shortly before she went there. I thought I'd share with you some of her reflections after she was told she only had a short time to live;

"What's heaven like?' my son asked me from his hospital bed in the cancer ward. Caught off guard, I realized I knew next to nothing about the subject. I thought for a moment, then told him,"Heaven will have all of the good things and none of the bad."

After searching the scriptures, I found that was not such a bad answer. Much of what God's Word reveals regarding heaven is about what's not there. There will be no more pain, no more death, no more sorrow, no crying, no violence, no darkness, no hunger, no thirst, etc. (Isaiah 65:19-25; Revelation 7:17, 21:4).

I personally became interested in heaven after the passing of my dear mother. I wanted to learn everything the Bible says about the subject. So when the doctors told me I had only a few months to live , I was not devastated by the news.

We prepare in great detail when making plans for vacation of just a few days' duration. When planning to relocate to a new community, we relocate to a new community, we research the climate, socioeconomic, real estate prospects, employment opportunities,etc.

However, when it comes to the place of our abode for eternity, many Christians make no preparation but live as though this earth were our permanent home. They spend every spare moment shopping or pursuing vain entertainment.

Then, after spending so much time, money, and effort decorating their homes within and without, they leave to their loved ones the task of ridding their lives of the burden of all that "stuff" accumulated.

Jesus told about a man who spent his entire life accumulating many possessions- who when he had no more room to store his goods, made plans to build yet another structure in which to store it all. Then one day he was called away, to meet his Master. Jesus response was, "Then whose shall these things be?"

"Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth," Jesus said. Our treasures should be in heaven. That's where our investments should be held, for true security.

While sharing Diane's view of heaven I received word that another dear friend of mine died during the night.

Lord Jesus, the grief and sorrow of losing the ones we love to death is very real. Thank you for preparing a place for us in your Father's house. Help me not to become so preoccupied with the stuff of this life that I loose sight of eternity.

Living in the Middle of a Trilogy

I can still see her kneeling by the bed, her long gray hair flowing down her back like a veil. I would listen to my grandmother calling out the names of all who were dear to her, and I knew she was talking to God. At night I would climb into the bed beside her, wrapped in the safe, warm comfort of her love. I would rest my head on her chest, listening to her heart beat as she would read God's word aloud so that I could learn to know His voice like she did. At church she lifted her voice in joyful songs of praise. She held nothing back; I stood so close to her I could feel her whole body vibrating with passionate praise.

When I was thirteen, my grandmother came to live with us. I stood in the doorway peering into the dark room. Grandmother's hair hug limp about her face. She was weeping as she sat rocking in the darkness. I went in and wrapped my arms around her to comfort her. Grandmother's voice was full of mournful sorrow. She was suffering from dementia. Although the disease dimmed my grandmother light, it could not extinguish it.

My grandmother taught me many things. I listened to her prayers, and as I grew I watched them be answered one by one. I saw my mother pick up the torch of faith and hold it high for all her children and grandchildren to see. Though I was a child, I recognized that God was using even my grandmother's illness in answer some of the prayers I heard her pray. I learned that people die, but prayers never die.

Sometimes I feel like I am living in the middle book of a trilogy. The first part of the trilogy is full of promise; the last part is full of glorious victory; but the middle part of the story is full of tension. When I was a little girl wrapped up in the warmth of my grandmother's love listening to her heart beat, she was listening to the heart beat of her Heavenly Father. It was in His word I heard the rest of the story. This is what He said, "Behold, I am coming soon."

Lord Jesus, you told us that in this world we would have tribulation, but that in You we would have peace. Sometimes this world is not a friendly place, but You told us to take heart, because You have overcome the world. Lord Jesus, I am living my life full of anticipation, watching for You with tear-filled eyes.

What About the Other Babies?

Have you ever compared baby Moses and baby Jesus?

Moses was born when a decree had gone out from the King of Egypt that the midwives were to kill the all the male children born to the Hebrew women. They were to be cast into the Nile. God turned this around and used a baby floating on the Nile to be the one to lead His people out of captivity. Pharaoh's own daughter brought up this child in Pharaoh's household as a prince of Egypt. God's power is displayed in our weakness. Yet, my heart asks the question, "What about the other babies?"

The God of the Universe choose a young poor Jewish maiden to be the mother of the Messiah. Herod the King sent out a decree that all the male children in Bethlehem two years old or under were to be killed. Joseph, Mary and the baby fled to Egypt, fulfilling the prophecy of Jeremiah, "Out of Egypt I called my son." Once more the power of the mighty to destroy a baby is thwarted by the power of the Almighty. Yet, my heart asks the question, "What about the other babies?"

It was during a difficult dark chapter of my life when I discovered I was expecting a baby. Yet as the weeks turned into months, I began to welcome the thought that there was another heart that beat beneath my heart. My mind began to thrill at the thought that I was carrying another life within me. Because of all the turmoil around me I kept my baby a secret.

In the third month something went wrong. I drove myself to the doctor's office. In retrospect, I realize what a bad decision that was. They took me to have an ultra sound. That was when I knew my baby had died. I sat in the hall way surround by pregnant women my mind blurred by pain. My husband came and took me to the hospital. Then it was over. My baby was gone.

I don't know if it was a dream or a vision, but somehow in the depth of my sorrow when the labor was over and the life of my baby ended I saw Jesus. He was standing at the foot of my bed holding a baby. He had two other children at His side. "Thank you, Sarah, for being faithful to carry these children for all the days I have written in my book for them." I was comforted.

When I was a young girl, I told my mother I wanted to have more faith. She told me that faith would grow as I began to read God's word. As I began to read God's word I began to see God's power but I saw something else I saw God's love. I began to see that faith is really resting in the power and love of God even when I do not understand the direction He is leading.

Lord Jesus, long ago I learned that there are times when the plans that you have are beyond my ability to understand. I have found that there are times that my heart is so blinded by pain I can't see you. But most of all as I have read your word and learned to rest in your power I have found I can always trust you heart.

Untangling the Golden Chain

I knew exactly what necklace I wanted to wear but when I looked at it in my hand it was a tangled golden mess. It was very valuable but useless in the condition it was in.

"Love is patient...love never fails", "God is love" I have been reading through the Bible now for over forty years and this is the message I see. In the beginning the God of love looked at all he had created and behold it was very good. But the serpent full of hatred and lies spoke doubt to God's creation, "He doesn't really love you, you can't trust Him. You can be in control of your own destiny, you can be your own god."  And so the golden chain became a tangled mess.

This could easily have been the end of the story except for the fact that God is love, patient, kind and unfailing. To fully understand the scope of God's redemptive plan it is important to understand that this is not a story of time but of eternity. When the sin of rebellion entered the heart of man the story of God's salvation began.

I never fully understood anger much less wrath until I became a mother. When someone hurt or wounded my child my heart burned with wrath to protect and defend them against anyone or anything that would harm them. I would gladly die in their defense. I believe this is but a dim reflection of the passionate love of God. Part of God's redemptive plan is to restore his creation to a correct relationship with himself. "As I live," declares the Lord God, "surely with a mighty hand and with an outstretched arm and with wrath poured out, I shall be king over you." Ezekiel 20:33 He was unwilling to allow what he valued to be discarded or remain useless.

When I read this verse I see Jesus hanging on the cross the sign above his head reading "King of the Jews". All around him are mocking crowds jeering at his suffering. The love of God comes from a God of love. "In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent his only Son into the world ,so that we might live through him. In this is love, not that we have loved God but he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins." 1 John 4:10 He untangled the mess we made with the tenderness of his love.

When sin was introduced into God's creation sorrow and suffering came as well. When I turn to the to the last chapters of the story of God's redeeming love I find these words. "Behold, the dwelling place of God is with man. He will dwell with them, and they will be his people, and God himself will be with them as their God. He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning nor crying nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away."Revelation 21:3-4

Lord Jesus, I praise you because you have made all things new. You have completed the task of redemption. You are the Alpha and the Omega, the beginning and the end. You have taken the tangled mess of my life and made into something beautiful for both for time and eternity.

With Perspective Comes Comfort

My friend and I were talking about how our understanding of people and events changed as we matured. I was thinking about this in respect to my study of Scripture as well.

I am at an age where I am beginning to understand what my grandfather meant when he would read from the last chapter of Ecclesiastes, "Remember also your Creator in the days of your youth, before the evil days come and the years draw near of which you will say, "I have no pleasure in them." before the sun and the light  and the moon are the stars are darkened and the clouds return after the rain, in the day when the keepers of the house tremble, and the strong men are bent, and the grinders cease because they are few, and those who look through the window are dimmed..." When I was younger this was simply poetry now I see it drawing nearer as reality.

As my physical eyes dim my spiritual eyes are drawn to the prophets. I have no desire to ague about the different views of eschatology. I have no desire to draw a chart and explain to anyone exactly what God is planning to to and exactly when he is planning to do it. What my heart is longing for as I study prophecy is to see God's glory! As I read the prophets my heart is overwhelmed by his love and his eternal plans.

As I stand with my loved ones who are at the brink of eternity I find comfort in Isaiah 25:8, "He will swallow up death forever; and the Lord God will wipe away tears from all faces, and the reproach of his people he will take away from all the earth, for the Lord has spoken."

When I was younger I felt I had a greater since of control than I do now. As I look into the prophets I see more clearly the heart of God. I no longer rest in my power to control the circumstances of my life but rest instead in the steadfast love of a Sovereign God. "For the mountains may depart and the hill be removed, but my steadfast love shall not depart from you, and my covenant of peace shall not be removed," says the Lord , who has compassion on you" (Isaiah 54:10).

Lord Jesus, I believe your words are trustworthy and true. I believe you have not hidden yourself or your plans from those who are willing to seek you like hidden treasure. You have told us, "Behold, I am coming soon. Blessed is the one who keeps the words of the prophecy of this book. "The Spirit and the Bride say, ‘Come’. And let the one who hears say, ‘Come’. And let the one who is thirsty come; let the one who desires take the water of life without price”(Revelation 22:17). Lord Jesus, I am thirsty, and I am watching, and I am praying, "Come."

Where Wisdom Dwells

My grandfather was a coal miner. He sank into the deep shadows forgotten by foot. The path he took into the heart of the earth was one no bird of prey knows. The falcon's eye never caught sight of what my grandfather saw. The proud beasts  that walk upon the the earth never walked the path my grandfather took beneath the earth. Even the fiercest lion could never go where my grandfather went. As a little girl I knew my grandfather was the mightiest man alive.

When I was twelve my grandfather had a stroke. That summer I sat on a stool beside his wheelchair my head on his lap. The love I had for that mighty man only increased as I saw the strength of his heart. My grandfather would have me read the gospels to him. He never tired of hearing the stories of Jesus over and over and over.

One day I found my grandfather crying. I now know that depression often comes when people have had a stroke. My grandfather had been a shepherd in Italy in his youth. I found a picture of Jesus holding a little lamb and brought it to him. "Granddaddy, you are like this little lamb Jesus is holding in his arms. When you were young and strong you were like the other lambs in this picture running all over the field. But now Jesus holds you close to his heart."

I often think of my grandfather when I read the Job 28. It talks about men going into the heart of the earth and overturning the mountain at it's base. The question that is being asked is "Where then does wisdom come from ? And where is the place of understanding?" The search for wisdom takes us to the heights of
the heavens and the heart of the earth. Yet where can wisdom be found and where is the place of understanding?

A twelve year old girl with her head on the lap of her paralyzed grandfather found the place where wisdom dwells. Wisdom dwells in the heart of God. When all other things are taken away and what you crave most is to hear the love of God read to you over and over and over again. When you finally rest in the arms of your shepherd as the one he came to seek and to save.

A cross stitched picture hanging on my friend's wall

The words were cross stitched and hung in a framed picture on my friend's wall. God's word is alive and powerful, it is good for teaching, rebuking, correcting, and training in righteousness, even it you simply read it on a friend's wall.

"We continually remember before our God and Father your work produced by faith, your labor prompted by love, and your endurance inspired by hope in our Lord Jesus Christ." 1 Thessalonians 1:3 When I read this verse I thought about when I was expecting my first baby. Physically I was miserable. I had a terrible case of nausea through much of my pregnancy yet I was filled with joy. Why? 

"Faith is to be sure of what you hope for and confident about what you don't see." Hebrew 11:1 In some ways this would describe my pregnancy. I couldn't see my baby but I knew she was there. I spent the whole time I was expecting getting ready for her arrival. My work was, "produced by faith."

Then came the labor. Though I had been to classes to tell me what to expect while giving birth I was stunned by the pain. The most helpful advise I had been given was to focus on my baby and not on the pain. With every contraction I would envision my baby coming into the world. My labor was, "prompted by love."

Raising my children has been a privilege. It has been the best and hardest work I've ever done. Being a mother takes endurance it takes patience. Many times I have had to look beyond what my physical eyes could see. I have often been discouraged but I haven't given up because I believe that Jesus Christ to do for my children what I can not. My endurance as a mother has been, "inspired by hope in our Lord Jesus Christ."

There is a since of wonder and joy that I always had when I was expecting and raising my children. As I have meditated on this verse I have felt the Holy Spirit inviting me to live my whole life this way. Perhaps living a life filled with the sure promises of God's love is what it means to rejoice in the Lord always.

Lord Jesus, thank you for drawing me back to the truth. Sometimes I get distracted and discouraged by life. Thank you for the power of your word even found cross stitched on a friend's wall.

Let my people go!

When I was a little girl I would listen to the negro spiritual "Let my people go!" over and over. I woke up in the middle of the night thinking about the words.

When Israel was in Egypt land, "Let my people go!"
Oppressed so hard they could not stand, "Let my people go!"
Go down Moses, way down to Egypt land and tell old Pharaoh to Let my people go!"

In thinking about the passion flowing from those deep rich voices I feel like I can hear the voice of God. "Let my people go!" God had heard the cry of His people and He sent Moses to Pharaoh to boldly demand that he let God's people go. But it took the blood of Pharaoh's first born son for him relinquish his hold on God people.

I see the parallel to Jesus ministry. He came to seek and save the lost. When Jesus wept a the grave of Lazarus I see the heart of God. When Jesus cried, "Lazarus come forth!" I hear an echo of , "Let my people go!" Death was the ultimate consequence for the fall of man. Satan comes to kill steal and destroy but Jesus came that we might have abundant life. God heard the moaning and the cries of his people and he sent Jesus to say, "Let my people go!"

Jesus came. He came to seek and to save the lost. He came to those who were bound by Satan. He heard the cries of mothers and fathers who brought their demon possessed children to him and he set them free. Jesus entered the poverty of the poor. He entered into the suffering and sorrows of his broken and bound creation. He came on a mission, to let his people go!"

Just as it took the blood of Pharaoh's son to get the children of Israel out of Egypt it took the blood of Jesus to set us free from Satan's grip. "For God so loves the world that he gave his only begotten son that whosoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. John 3:16 God the Father sent Jesus with this message to Satan,"Let my people go!"

My response is:

JESUS, I COME

Out of my bondage, sorrow and night,
Jesus, I come, Jesus, I come;
Into Thy freedom, gladness, and light,
Jesus, I come to Thee;
Out of my sickness, into Thy health,
Out of my want and into Thy wealth,
Out of my sin and into Thyself,
Jesus, I come to Thee.

Out of my shameful failure and loss,
Jesus, I come, Jesus, I come;
Into the glorious gain of Thy cross,
Jesus, I come to Thee;
Out of earth’s sorrows, into Thy balm,
Out of life’s storms and into Thy calm,
Out of distress to jubilant psalm,
Jesus, I come to Thee.

Out of unrest and arrogant pride,
Jesus, I come, Jesus, I come;
Into Thy blessed will to abide,
Jesus, I come to Thee;
Out of myself to dwell in Thy love,
Out of despair, into raptures above,
Upward for aye on wings like a dove,
Jesus, I come to Thee.

Out of the fear and dread of the tomb,
Jesus, I come, Jesus, I come;
Into the joy and light of Thy home,
Jesus, I come to Thee;
Out of the depths of ruin untold,
Into the peace of Thy sheltering fold,
Ever Thy glorious face to behold,
Jesus, I come to Thee.

Dealing with Anger

I was so angry yesterday that I really wanted to hurt someone and I think I would have if it hadn't been for my husband. Jesus said, "If anyone would be my disciple he must daily deny himself, take up his cross, and follow me." I needed my husband's help with the crucifying of my flesh yesterday.

Anger is such a strong emotion. It's not a sin, it's an emotion. It's part of the way God chose to create us. I think it plays an important role in our lives. Anger is meant to protect us and the people we love from danger. When someone does something that hurts my children I really get angry! Then what! How am I supposed to respond as a Christian?

When my children were younger I had them memorize several Bible verses about anger. I'm reviewing those verses because I need to remind myself how to control this emotion. "A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control." Proverbs 29:11 I think this goes back to what Jesus said about being His disciple. If I choose to daily follow Christ I also choose to let Him be in control and not my anger.

Proverbs also says that someone who is quick to anger acts foolishly. On the contrary another verse says that, "Whoever is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit than he who takes a city." Proverbs 16: 32 When I think about this I think about how mighty rushing waters can cause great destruction. However, if that energy is harnessed it can be of great value.

Lord Jesus, sometimes I feel so mad I just want to give full vent to my anger. But more than giving vent my emotions I truly want to be your disciple. I surrender to your Spirit. Help me to be quick to hear,slow to speak, and slow to anger.

HORSE WHISPERER!!!

When the Valley of Tears becomes a place of refreshment

I was talking to my daughter after she had gone through her treatment for cancer and she spoke about how close she felt to God. It reminded me of the Valley of Baca.

"Blessed are those whose strength is in you, who have set their hearts on pilgrimage. As they pass the Valley of Baca, they make it a place of springs..."Psalm 84:5-6 Another interpretation for the Valley of Baca is the Valley of Tears. What can change the Valley of Tears into a place of springs and refreshment?

I have seen it go both ways. I have watched people go through heartbreak and become people who encourage others who are going through similar grief. I have also known those who became bitter from their difficult experiences and pass that bitterness to all they meet. The difference can be found in the preceding verse. "Blessed are those whose strength is in you, who have set their hearts on pilgrimage."

My daughter told me how she lay on the table waiting for her treatment and meditating on God. She found what she was looking for. She found her strength in God. But there is more to it than that there is also "setting their hearts on pilgrimage.” To set your heart on pilgrimage means you understand that this life is not all there is.

Lord Jesus, you have loved me and by your grace you have given me eternal encouragement and good hope. You have encouraged my heart and strengthened me and shown me how the Valley of Tears becomes a place of refreshment. Thank you for letting me see this transformation in my children's lives as well.

A Prayer for those Overwhelmed by Life

The task was overwhelming! I felt like was being crushed by the load I was being asked to carry. It was then I remembered the prayer.

This prayer begins with a deep breath. When I was in labor with my children this kind of breath was called a cleansing breath. The purpose of a cleansing breathing in childbirth was to give me an extra boost of oxygen  in order to help me relax and focus. So I take a deep breath through my nose and then exhale slowly through my mouth while saying, "Ah".

The next part of this prayer has to do with worship. If I really believe the God is sovereign and deserving of my trust  how should I respond to this situation that I have no control over? My first response is usually to murmur and complain. I find this pattern in the Scriptures but the problem is the people murmuring and complaining are also rebelling against a Sovereign God who loves them. I sigh deeply relinquishing the control that I don't have, bow my knees and and focus on God's sovereignty.

The next part of my prayer has to do with my relationship with God. When my children were little occasionally they would look at me defiantly and say, "Your not the boss of me!" I would always correct this misconception of our relationship. However, this form of rebellion against authority started in the garden when the serpent told Eve, "Don't let God tell you what you can and can't have. Eat the fruit and be your own boss." This attitude didn't work any better for my children than it did for Eve. Again after my deep breath, I bow my knees and then humble my heart. I acknowledge my relationship with the Sovereign God and call Him Lord.

Ah, Sovereign Lord! I am overwhelmed by what I see ahead of me. I feel crushed by the responsibilities I face and so I humbly bow before you. As I pour out my heart to you I am reminded of what Paul said in Colossians when he said that he toiled, struggling with all the energy of Christ that was working powerfully within him.  My your strength be manifested in my weakness. As I approach the difficulties of my life with humility my You be glorified!

Shattered or Healed?

I was at a funeral yesterday and someone quoted a Jewish proverb. It went something like this:
When sorrow upon sorrow is piled on a heart one of two things will happen. The heart will shatter and break and send out shards that will pierce and wound all those around or the pressure will cause the heart to break open and it will be filled with the love of God.

As I have pondered this my mind has been drawn to what the scripture says about the brokenhearted. "The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit." Psalm 34:18 " He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds." Psalms 147:3 I have both seen and experienced the nearness of the Lord when the sorrows of this life have broken my heart and crushed my spirit. Yet, I have seen the other as well.

When my husband and I began opening our door to people in distress someone told me, "Be careful, hurting people hurt people." What makes the difference?  I think I can find the answer in the same Psalms that talk about God healing the brokenhearted. Psalm 34 and Psalm 147 talk about someone who is humble in heart. Someone who is humble in heart is someone who is seeking the Lord and crying out to Him when life becomes unbearable. Someone who is humble in heart is someone who hopes in the steadfast love of God. The opposite of that is someone who raises their fist then turns their back on God in times of distress.

Lord Jesus, when you began your ministry here on earth you said you came to bind up the brokenhearted. Lord let me be one who always turns towards you and not away from you when the sorrows of life threaten to break my heart and crush my spirit.

What does it take to see God's Glory?

It's been about a year since I began praying daily that God would allow me to have a humble heart. Most people who hear about my prayer ask if I'm crazy.Humility isn't like a package found under the tree Christmas morning; instead it comes from choosing to put pride to death. I was talking to a friend of mine this weekend about the things that have happened this year and their effect on me. They were not pleasant things and yet God has used them in my life to humble me.

I woke up the next morning,after our conversation thinking about Isaiah 28: 23-29 "Dill is not threshed with a threshing sledge, nor is a cart wheel rolled over cumin, but dill is beaten out with a stick, and cumin with a rod, Does one crush grain for bread? No, he does not thresh forever; when he drives his cart wheels over it with his horses, he does not crush it. This also comes from the Lord of hosts; he is wonderful in counsel and excellent in wisdom." What I see is that God does what is necessary to make me useful. We have walnut trees. I use the walnuts, but only if I remove the hull. In the same way I believe that I am only useful to God with a humble heart. Sometimes it's a painful process, but I trust God because he is,"wonderful in counsel and excellent in wisdom."

Some where during the year my prayer changed. My focus shifted. I began to say, "Lord, glorify yourself." My prayer was a reflection of John the Baptist when he said, "He must increase and I must decrease."  When I go outside on a dark starry night I can see the stars best if there is no artificial light shinning. This is what I am finding as I pray for humility. When the artificial light of my own pride is taken out of the way, others have a better opportunity of seeing Christ in me.

Lord Jesus, I want my life to be useful for Your Kingdom. I want to decrees and have You increase. I want to see Your glory!

With hands held open

She gave me a picture of her hands, her open hands. Then she told me the story.

Her first born son was born with a cleft lip. When he was three months old he had plastic surgery, but the incision began to scar within a matter of weeks. She made continual visits to the hospital to deal with the scaring. Her baby was often sick running fevers for no apparent reason. The effect on my friend was understandable she became an anxious mother.

When her son was ten months old she was reading Psalms 127. She read, "Lo, children are the heritage of the Lord and the fruit of the womb is His reward." As she meditated on the truth of these words her eyes were drawn to the preceding verses. "Except the Lord build the house, they labor in vain that build it. It is vain for you to rise up early, to sit up late, to eat the bread of sorrows, for so He gives His beloved sleep." Her heart was convicted and she held her hands open as she relinquish her children to God but that is not the end of the story.

Less than a week latter she was back at the hospital. This time it was because her son had spinal meningitis. She was told that he might not make it through the night. God had prepared her heart and she prayed knowing that she did not have control over the life of her son. Her son lived and my friend learned a deep lesson. She told me how over the years in many situations God taught her to acknowledge that she had no control over people or situations. She learned that with open hands she is to relinquish everything to God.

Ah Sovereign Lord, how I struggle with this! Thank you for giving me friends who teach me by their lives to trust you. Grant me the grace to worship you with hands held open.

Before I knew your name

I was getting ready to pick my children up from school when the phone rang. "Mrs. Jones, we're sorry to tell you this, but the tests show a problem with your baby."

It was my sixth pregnancy. I had three children, two children had died. The news made my heart ache. I dropped to my knees and prayed using Psalm 139, "All the days of my baby's life have been written in your book before any of them came to be. Lord, you give and take away. I choose to trust you." I knew what it was like loose a baby. I had been bleeding for days and now the tests showed a problem.

I got into the car and mindlessly shoved the cassette tape into the player. My car was filled with the voice of Sandi Patty singing, "Masterpiece.” The song was being sung to an unborn child who didn't even have a name. She spoke of the baby being formed in seclusion, in God's safe and hidden place. After she finished singing she quoted from Psalm 139, "For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there were none of them."

I lost count of how many times I listened to that song. My children complained because it was their tape,"The Friendship Company.” However, I felt I needed it more than they did and I promised to give it back after the baby was born.

I had picked out the name Stephen Christopher for my baby yet by the time I got to my ninth month I decided it might be a good idea to have a girl's name as well. I began making lists but nothing sounded right so I enlisted the aid of my two prayer partners. On Father's day I was at my parent's home and my mother asked, "Sarah, have you considered the name Abigail Divine? It is a family name," The next day one of my prayer partners called and said, "Sarah, have you considered the name Abigail Divine? My husband was preaching about Abigail in the Bible. The name means the delight of the father. Abigail Divine would mean the delight of the Heavenly Father.” On Tuesday my second prayer partner called, "Sarah, have you considered the name Abigail Divine?" I din't need an ultra sound. I knew I was going to have a little girl and name her Abigail Divine.

When I came to the last week of my pregnancy I found it hard to sleep. I kept hearing the doctor's warning, "The baby could die at birth or be born with profound birth defects." I wanted to hear the song "Masterpiece" again so I put the cassette in and found that I had broken it by playing it so often. I was desperate. I pulled it out of the player lifted it up and prayed, "Lord, you are the Healer, please let me hear this song again!" I put the cassette back in the player and heard, "Miracles still happen for those who love the Lord! Trust in the Lord with all your heart His miracles you'll behold."  The next song was "Masterpiece.” That week a healthy baby girl was born. I named her Abigail Divine.

Lord Jesus, thank you for you tender mercies. Thank you for lavishing your love and grace on me. Oh yes, and thank you for giving me Abigail. May she always be the masterpiece you created her to be.