Finding Rest For Both Body And Soul

“Bong,bong,bong,bong,bong,” I was listening to the clock announce the time with a since a relief that I had been able to sleep through the night. But it didn't stop at five bongs it went on to bong seven more times. Midnight, it wasn't time to get but I was wide awake!

I have always had a love hate relationship with sleep. I respect the fact that God gave me a body that needs sleep in order to function correctly. I see sleep as a practical act of humility. I think it's very interesting that when the Bible describes a day in Genesis it says, “And there was evening and there was morning and the first day.”What I see in that order is that the day begins as I'm getting ready to be asleep. This is humbling. I guess God can run the universe with out my help. Why then do I wake at midnight with a heavy concern about things over which I have no control?

John was in prison. Jesus was at the height of His earthly ministry but John, who had announced His coming, was in prison. This was confusing so John sent word by his disciples, “Are you the one who is to come, or shall we look for another?” Matthew 11I understand John's confusion. I don't always understand what God is doing in my life either. Sometimes I think, “Lord, if I'm am following You shouldn't my life be easier than this?” Usually I'm thinking this at Midnight when I can't sleep.

The chapter in Matthew begins with John's question and it ends with an invitation from Jesus. “Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your soul.” Jesus always offers more than I ask for. I want to sleep uninterrupted through the night He offers me rest for my soul. But then if I have rest for my soul I will be able to sleep through the night.

Lord Jesus, I like John do not always understand what is happening in my life and in the lives of those I love but You invite me to trust You. I am reminded by Your invitation in Matthew of what I read last night at Midnight. “Cast your burden on the Lord and He will sustain you.” Psalm 55:22 Lord Jesus I find again and again as I humble myself in the night bringing to You the burden I cannot bear that You not only carry my burden You carry me as well and I find rest for my soul as well as for my body.

Sometimes...

Some times I'm so painfully ashamed. I know who I want to be but then I am confronted with who I really am. I see my faults and failures and they isolate me and make me want to hide. Then I hear His voice calling, “Where are you?” I think sometimes I know how Adam and Eve felt. I also wonder if the garment of skins God clothed them with was a lamb.

Sometimes I see the haunting look of shame on the faces of those I love. They have lost their since of dignity. They have lost way. I want to shout to them, “Behold the lamb of God who takes away the sins of the world!” I want them to understand who this lamb of God is. “He was despised and forsaken of men, A man of sorrows and acquainted with grief; And like one from whom men hide their face He was despised, and we did not esteem Him. Surely our griefs He Himself bore, And our sorrows He carried; Yet we ourselves esteemed Him stricken, Smitten of God, and afflicted. But he was wounded for our transgressions; he was crushed for our iniquities; upon him was the chastisement that brought us peace, and with his stripes we are healed.”Isiah 55:3-5

Sometimes I feel like I am in the middle of a terrible storm. The winds and rain assault me I feel battered and confused. I cry out for help! In times like theses I hear again God''s invitation to make Him my hiding place. I run to Him and find again that He protects me from all my trouble and surrounds me with songs of deliverance. Though I have no strength of my own I rest beneath the shadow of the Almighty.

Sometimes when I am feeling safe because I have put my hope in God's word and have found Him to be my refuge and my shield I suddenly am aware that someone dear to me has wondered away. I hear their cries but can do nothing to save them. What good is it if I am safe and secure if the ones I love are in danger! Then I remember the words of Jesus. He came to seek and to save the lost. He is the Good Shepherd who will leave the ninety nine and go look for the one lost sheep. Just as God went looking for Adam and Eve and clothed the nakedness of their sins so Jesus Himself is seeking to save the lost and to take away the sins of the world.

Lord Jesus, I want to be like the virtuous woman in Proverbs 31 who clothed herself with dignity and strength. I am aware that in myself I have no dignity no strength but you have made provision to cover my shame with your righteousness my weakness with Your strength. So once again I come just as I am without one plea except Your blood was shed for me O Lamb of God I come I come. Just as I am , poor wretched , blind; sight , riches, healing of the mind, yea, all I need in thee to find, Oh Lamb of God, I come, I come.

It's Not Multiple Choice

“It's not a multiple choice question!” My sister was describing how she had prayed for her children when they were younger. She would go before the Throne of Grace and then present God with a multiple choice of ways He could answer her petition. She felt since she was down here and she was the Mother it might be helpful to God if she gave Him a bit of help.

What she discovered as they grew older was that she was no longer able to help God out as much as she had when her children were younger. The problems grew as her children grew. Life became more and more complex and she felt she just could no longer supply God with a multiple choice answer to her prayers as she had been able to do when they were younger. That was when she began to give God a blank sheet of paper. She would simply call out the name of her children and let God do the rest.

Yesterday I read a story Edith Schaeffer told about a man from the Lisu tribe in the hills back of China. This man had been longing for a God he did not know. He found a page torn from a Lisu catechism. He read;”Are there more gods than One?”- “No, there is only One God.” “Should we worship idols?”- “No...” the rest was torn away. But he had all he needed, he went home and destroyed his alters.

Not long afterward his daughter became very ill. Everyone accused him of bringing this suffering on his child because he had made the demons angry by destroying their alters. The man believed that he could reach the one true God with his voice. The man knew nothing about prayer. Making a multiple choice for God did not occur to him. He climbed to the highest peak in the vicinity and began to shout out,”Oh, God, if You really are there and You are the One I am to worship, please make my little girl well again.” He came home to find his daughter completely healed.

Oh Lord, there was a time I thought you needed my help but now I am so grateful that I can come before you and simply call to You for help. Your word tells me I am to walk humbly before You. I humbly bow before Your throne knowing that what is hidden from me is not hidden from You. I call out the names of those I love. Thank You for hearing me and loving me and thank You that You don't need me to tell You what to do.

Because I'm Not Always "Fine"

This was something I had to be taught, I didn't understand, it wasn't automatic for me. When I was younger and people asked, “How are you?” I thought they really wanted to know so I would tell them. Finally someone sat me down and explained that I was supposed to say, “Fine”, regardless of how I really felt. I learned my lesson well perhaps to well.

It isn't that I am trying to be fake as much as I'm trying to be safe. Now when I hear ,“How are you?”, in my heart I ask myself a question, “Are you a safe person to tell? Do you really care?” When I met my husband almost forty years ago I felt secure in his love. Because I felt secure and safe he came to know not only the public me but the private me. The public me is the one I present to people who ask, “How are you?” but don't really want to know. The private me is the one that needs a safe secure place to be exposed because that me isn't always “fine”.

I bring this understanding of how I relate to people with me when I read the story of Martha talking to Jesus. I think it was because she saw Jesus as her friend and someone with whom she was safe that she could reveal her honest frustration with him. “Lord, don't you care that my sister has left me to serve alone ? Tell her to help me.” Luke 10:38-42 Sometimes my prayers are like that too. I'm not always “fine” sometimes my prayers reflect the messy me, the confused me, the frustrated me. I can't always get it sorted out before I come to the Lord in prayer. Sometimes I hear him say to me, “Sarah, Sarah, you are anxious and troubled about so many things. You have forgotten the one thing that is necessary.”I need him to tell me again what that is.

When I gave birth to my first child I did it in a stoic fashion. I focused on breathing techniques so that I would not cry out in pain. However, after the birth I saw my Father's face and the dam burst and the tears flowed freely. Why? Although I was a grown woman and a mother I was still my Father's little girl and I felt safe to release the tears. I feel this same freedom when I pray. There have been seasons in my life when I couldn't find proper words to express the depth of emotion I felt so I simply wept before my Heavenly Father. These are intimate prayers prayed in the presence of a God I call Abba.

Oh Heavenly Father, thank You that I don't have to pretend to be “fine” before I come into Your presence. Thank You, that I can come just as I am. Thank You, that I don't have to wait until I can get everything right instead I can come to You confused, frustrated, and even at times afraid. Thank You, that I can find in Your presence a safe place to reveal who I really am. But O Lord, thank You, for not leaving me just as I am but instead reminding me what really is necessary and for breathing peace into my sometimes troubled soul.

Ah! I See Myself

I watched a documentary yesterday about babies. There were no words spoken just observation. I watched the babies births. At first, the babies are simply held and loved and nursed but then I watched as these little ones were introduced to the world around them. I watched the parents as they taught the infants to speak by holding the child on their lap and looking into their faces and slowly forming sounds and then words. The parents would also hold the baby on their lap and show them books that opened up a bigger world then they had yet experienced.

As I considered these things I saw a parallel to my spiritual birth and growth. Like the infant who was nursing at it's mother's breast so I craved the comfort and nourishment of the gospel. I needed to know God as El Shaddia the All Sufficient God. “Like newborn babies crave pure spiritual milk, so that by it you may grow up in your salvation.” 1Peter 2:2 After birth in order to grow up there has to be nourishment.

When I looked at the infant face to face with it's parent leaning to understand and then to speak I thought of 2 Timothy 3:16,17. “All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the man of God is thoroughly equipped for every good work.” Just as these babies were taught and rebuked and corrected by their parents so I am as I read God's word. The parents I observed enjoyed their infants but didn't want them to stay infants.

As the child grew older the parents would begin to exposes their children to the world around them. Sometimes this frustrated the child and he would cry but the parent was always nearby. I feel this frustration sometimes when I am trying to understand what has been prophesied in Scripture. I like things to be comforting or at least easy but that’s not always true when God is teaching me the things he wants to reveal to me in His word. “The secret things belong to the Lord our God, but the things that are revealed belong to us...” Deuteronomy 29:29 Even though these things belong to me I must work hard to present myself as, “a worker who has no need to be ashamed , rightly handling the word of truth.” 2 Timothy 2:15

Dear Heavenly Father, I marvel as You who are God Almighty, Eternal,and Omnipotent stoop down to teach me to understand Your voice and open my spiritual eyes to worlds my earthly eyes cannot see. “For the Lord God does nothing without revealing his secret to his servants the prophets.” Amos 3:7 Father, sometimes I am like the Apostle John who “wept much” when you showed him the marvels in Revelations or I am like Daniel who fell asleep he was so overwhelmed. This is my prayer as I come to You like a young child comes to her Father, please let me be “filled with the knowledge of God's will in all wisdom and spiritual understanding.”

Sweeter Than Candy

I work at the Chocolate Therapy Cafe' where there are many delicious home made candies and other goodies but there is something else there too. On top of the candy counter is a perpetual calendar. Every day there is a Bible verse for that day. I read it when I first come to work and then I think about it throughout the day. It's like candy for my soul.

“May God himself, the God of peace, sanctify you through and through.” 1 Thessalonians 5:23 It seems to me that everyday in one way or another I struggle with my sinful nature. When I found this verse in Thessalonians and meditated on it all day at work the truth of what was being said permeated my mind and Spirit. Thessalonians goes on to say, “May your whole spirit,soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. The one who calls you is faithful and he will do it.”

I read an account of John Newton recently about his own struggle after he had become a Christian. He spoke of how he valued the Word of God. He was no longer a drunk, given over to every evil,but he still had a problem. As he put it, “My soul still loved dirt.” He found himself in Guinea living a life that would make anyone think that he had forgotten about the Lord's mercies. He said, “Sin first deceives, and then it hardens. I was not tightly chained, but I had no power to free myself-and little desire to. Sometimes I would think about the fix I had gotten into;if I tried to change my ways, I would just sink deeper.” So the question is, can Jesus really sanctify us through and through? Is He able to keep our whole spirit, soul and body blameless until He comes? Is He faithful, can He do it?

John Newton went on to say, “Weak and almost delirious, I got out of bed and crept to a secluded part of the island where I had the freedom in prayer I had never had before. I made no more resolutions to be a better man. I simply cast myself on the Lord to do with me whatever He wanted. I did not have a shred of power to do anything right. All I could do was throw myself at His feet, receiving the good of Christ's death for me in a way I had never done before...I began to wait on the Lord in prayer as I had never done before. I am humbly trusting in His mercy and His promises to be with me as my Guide and Guard till the end of my life.”

Lord Jesus, when I read this account of John Newton I am reminded that You are able to sanctify me through and through. Forgive me for spending so much of my life acting like the weight of the burden to be blameless rests on my shoulders forgetting that You are faithful and You can do what You've promised to do. Help me do instead what John Newton did and humble myself by casting myself and all my anxieties on You believing you care for me. Then let me sing the song John Newton wrote, “Amazing grace how sweet the sound that saved a wretch like me. I once was lost but now I'm found, was blind but now I see.”

Encountering Sacred Moments

I didn't know when I walked into my brother's art studio I was about to encounter a sacred moment. On the pedestal was a mother sitting in a chair. Across her lap her adult handicapped son was draped.  The man was not able to speak; he had a palsy that contorted his face and body. My brother was sculpting him. My brother is an artist who not only was looking at the bone structure of this man, but seeing the value of his soul. However, it was the mother's face that forever touched my heart. She was glowing because my brother, the artist, had really seen her son.

Yesterday I took my 91 year old mother-in-law to have her hair washed. She was unable to walk from the handicap parking to the hair salon, so I got a wheel chair. When I got to the salon I was grateful that I had gotten the wheel chair, because there were no seats available. A van of mentally handicapped adults filled the room. On every wall was a poster of a beautiful smiling model. Beneath the posters sat an assortment of beautiful souls trapped in bodies that the world would never see as beautiful. Their care giver, however, did see their beauty. She spoke to them with kindness and respect, and I felt again I had encounter a sacred moment.

Many years ago a friend and I led the youth group for our church. My friend worked in the mental health department for our county, and she thought of a wonderful project for our youth group. We planned a dinner for the mentally handicapped adults in our community. The youth group planned a puppet show and a dinner. During the preparations we also educated them about how to relate to people who were different from themselves. Not long before the event was to take place, a beautiful 13-year old girl's mother died. She still wanted to be included in the activity. I watched in amazement as she tenderly cared for others. I saw healing happen both for her and the adults she shared with.

My daughter has begun working in a local jail. She is working with women who are much older than she is and many who have been in and out of jail for most of their lives. When she talks about them, her face shines. I asked her what she sees when she looks at them and then, I smiled when she told me. She said she tries to see beyond were they are so that she can see who they are.

Thank You Lord for loving me. Thank You Lord for knowing who I am. Thank You Lord for seeing me, it's so easy to get lost these days in the shuffle and the noise. Lord, help me to take the time to see the people You place in my life. Help me not to just look at the external but to look at who You made them to be. Thank You for the sacred moments of my life when You bless me with the gift of seeing others trough Your eyes.

Free To Laugh

While sitting in the local coffee shop with my hands wrapped around a warm mug I listened to my friend share about the struggles she was having. She spoke about the emotional prison that caused her to feel separated from her family and loved ones. As I listened to her talk my mind was drawn back to a time in my life I had experienced similar struggles.

I was eighteen years old and I felt I had the weight of the world on my shoulders. My depression was smothering me and even though I was on a vacation with my family I felt locked away and unable to engage with anyone. One day we came upon a local fair. My father bought me a ticket for the Ferris Wheel. As the wheel went round and round something happened, I began to laugh. It was such a relief, a relief I had not felt in a very long time. I noticed my Father giving the man who operated the Ferris Wheel another dollar every time I went around. I laughed until the tears flowed from my eyes. That was the day I began to heal.

The Bible says, “A cheerful heart does good like medicine, but a broken spirit makes one sick.” Proverb 12:22 I think laughter is a gift God gave us that does some amazing things. I have heard that laughter boosts the immune system. I read that for every minute of laughter, you produce somewhere around $10,000 worth of healthy body chemistry. These chemicals have positive healing effects on both your body and mind.

An article on aging healthy, happy and youthful said that the average four year old laughed 300 times a day while an 40 year old would only average four times. I don't know if their numbers are right but I do know the gift of laughter seems lost for many adults. I think there is something about the humility of a child that frees them to laugh. Jesus invites us to enter the Kingdom as little children. In 1 Peter 5 it s says that we are to humble ourselves before the Lord. Then he tells us how, by casting all of our cares on Him because He cares for us.

Lord Jesus, You have set me free in so many ways. Help me cast my cares on you and rest in your love with child like trust. Help me to lift my face to you and know the joy of a cheerful heart. I have heard the saying laugh and the world laughs with you. Let my life be a life that draws people into to joy of belonging to You.

Smelting- Furnace?

It often happens this way, I read something in my daily Bible reading and start wondering, “What does that mean?” Yesterday I read, “The Lord took you and brought you out of the iron-smelting furnace, out of Egypt...” The phrase “iron-smelting”caught my attention so I did a little research and found it used several times in connection with Israel being the Lord's treasured possession. I found in Isiah 48:10 “See, I have refined you, though not as silver; I have tested you in the furnace of affliction.”

The purpose of smelting is to remove dross from the metal by putting it into a furnace that has been strongly heated. The purpose I see in the “furnace of affliction” in my life is so that I can be purged, purified, and refined. This doesn't really sound like something I would choose to participate in. In fact the only why anyone would want to go through this is if they really trusted God. So perhaps another thing the “iron-smelting” process exposes is what I am trusting in.

Since iron-smelting furnaces was what caught my attention yesterday you might think I had a day of intense testing but I didn't. What I had was a day of slight frustration just enough to make me irritable and uncomfortable. So how did I handle it? First, I found myself wanting to eat something. I wasn't hungry I just wanted to dull the feeling of discomfort. Next, I wanted to grumble and complain. I simply wanted to give vent to my irritability. Sometimes I think can see God using the obvious afflictions in my live to purify me easier than I can see Him using the daily discomforts.

My son was a Calvin and Hobbs fan. Calvin made a “transmogrifier” out of a collection of boxes. Calvin would enter the transmogrifier (by crawling under a box) and emerge as a tiger or toad or a duplicate of himself. Sometimes I wish I could be transformed by just crawling into a transmogrifier. What I find instead is that God is calling me to trust Him to purge, purify and refine me daily as I turn to Him for help in not only the afflictions of life but also the irritations of life.

Lord Jesus, please help me be patient in affliction even when the affliction is just a daily inconvenience. Help me cooperate with what You are doing in my life by humbly coming to You in prayer instead of seeking my comfort in other things. You word teaches me that You want to humble and to test me so that in the end it might go well with me yet my flesh doesn't want to be humbled. Thank you for Your promise that if I ask anything according to Your will I have the assurance that I will receive what I'm asking for.

Whose List?

“Plan your work, and work your plan.” I really like this way of doing things. I like the since of control it gives me. When I can look back over my list at the end of the day and see a check mark beside every item it's been a good day. I don't really like to have my plans interrupted. I plan into my day the good deeds I intend to do, after all I am a good person. I don't mind doing things for others as long as I have them written ahead of time on my list. Isn't this the right way to do things?

This morning I read about a farmer who said instead of doing a lot of planning each year he had opted for a different way of doing things. He said instead of spending all his time planning he chose to listen. What he discovered was that when he spent time listening for guidance instead of planning he was more relaxed and had more fun. He even said that in the end he achieved more than he could otherwise.

I think one of the reasons that my lists can be an enemy of peace is that when I make my list I often am presuming on the future. The Lord has promised me a daily portion do I really need more? Sometimes when I make a list of all the things I want to accomplish in a day I am putting myself in a position I do not posses. I am not the master of my own fate. What I do have is a sweet assurance that a daily portion of grace has been provided for me.

I don't see Jesus having the same irritation I do when people interrupted what He was doing, why? I find the answer in Philippians two. “Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the form of a servant.” No servant comes to his master with a list and says, “This is what I am doing today.” However, I do think he listens with humility as his master gives him a list for the day. The master also gives him all the provisions necessary to complete the tasks.

Lord Jesus, help me to humbly listen for Your guidance today. Help me to rest in the assurance that with every task you give me to do today you will also provide the grace necessary for me to accomplish it. I want to follow Your example and not only look out for my own interests but also the interests of others, even if I don't have it written ahead of time on my list.

"What Time Is It?"

“Mom, what time is it?” Although this is not an unusual question for one of my children to ask me this time it was. My daughter was calling me from a different time zone. She was sitting in her car wondering why everything was dark and all the buildings were locked. When I told her the time she figured out what had happened. Her cell phone had picked up the wrong signal and had given her the wrong time. Now what was she supposed to do?

I could hear the frustration growing in her voice, so I asked her a question. “Do you believe God is sovereign?” I paused for her to think about it. Then I asked my next question. “Is it possible He might have a reason for allowing you to get to school an hour early? Since you have access to His throne by prayer why don't you talk to Him and ask Him why your there early.” I heard a long sigh as the tension was released. How you see God affects how you respond to the circumstances of your life.

I believe that God is sovereign and that He loves me but I still struggle when I am faced with unexpected situations. My initial response is to get angry. I get angry because things are not going the way I planned for them to go. Things don't always go the way I planned because I am not sovereign. I am not sovereign but God is. When I humble myself and acknowledge that God is in control and I am not then I can ask, “Lord, what do You want me to do?”

Latter that day my daughter called me and I asked her if she had discovered why God allowed her to get to school an hour early, this is what she told me.“It was the first class of a new semester, an 8:00 class. We were all tired. Our teacher is from China so English is his second language. At first I struggled to pay attention but I kept thinking about our conversation this morning and asking myself and then asking God, 'What do You have for me Lord?' As I listened to the lecture I realized what I was hearing could change the direction of my life.” “So do you think that was why God had you get to class an hour early?”, I asked. “No Mom,” she said, “I think I needed to be reminded again the God loves me and that He is in control.”

Ah Sovereign Lord, I know You love me, I know You are in control yet still I struggle. Today please help me to relinquish my will and humbly accept the things You allow into my life. Thank You for giving me access to You throne but most of all thank You for loving me.

Love Your Neighbor?

I was simply going for a walk. I passed my neighbor's house, she was in her front yard and seemed angry. I'd never really met her but every time I walked by her house she would say something negative that let me know she was not happy to be there. I would smile and keep on walking. Suddenly, somewhere in my mind I heard the words, “Love you neighbor.”

“Love your neighbor.” Now what exactly does that mean? This particular neighbor showed no signs of friendliness and in fact totally intimidated me. Yet every time I passed the house I would hear the same directive “Love your neighbor.” I wanted to obey what I believed was the Holy Spirit’s directive so I began to pray for my neighbors as I passed their house, hoping that that would fulfill my duty to “love.”

“Love your neighbor.” It just wouldn’t go away. God seemed neither satisfied nor impressed with my prayers. “Go knock on the door and introduce yourself.” “But I don't want to! She intimidates me.” I responded to what I believed was the directive of the Holy Spirit. “Love your neighbor,” was all I could hear, so I hesitantly went up to the door.

On our first meeting she told me much about the difficulties she had experienced, “No wonder she seemed so angry,” I thought to myself. I also found out she was a Christian. She asked me to go to a prayer meeting with her. I was amazed at how she was transformed during her time of prayer and worship. It was as if a heavy weight fell off her. I was able to see her in a completely different light.

I had finally obeyed God prompting to “Love my neighbor” in the Spring. She died in the Fall of that same year. She had adopted four children who were left without a Mother. By the next year three of them were living with me. These children have taken permeate residence in my heart. “Love your neighbor.” I had no idea what that would mean.

Lord Jesus, Your word tells me that I am God's workmanship, and that I have been created in You for good works which God prepared in advance for me to do. Help me to be sensitive to the leading of your Spirit. When You tell me to “Love my neighbor” help to simply obey.

God's Celestial Navigation System

In places where there is little artificial light the darkness of the night can not only be seen but felt. Without the artificial light not only is the darkness experienced but also the brilliance of the starlight. These celestial lights have been used for millennium as navigational tools. I believe that just as the stars shine in the darkness of the night so to the glory of God can be seen when we go through the dark and difficult times in our lives. 

When God chose Moses to be his spokesman, Moses objected because he felt inadequate. “O Lord, I'm not very good with words. I never have been, and I'm not now, even though you've spoken to me. I get tongue-tied, and my words get tangled.” God didn't respond, “Oh that's right I forgot you have trouble speaking clearly!” What He said instead was, “Who has made man's mouth? Who makes him mute, or deaf, or seeing, or blind? Is it not I, the LORD?” (Exodus 4) How does God glorify Himself? I believe He takes the things I consider to be my weakness' and turns them around so that they become the very thing He chooses to make Himself known to those around me. This can be a bit scary because it means I have to trust that when God takes me places I don't want to go it's for a good purpose.

The stars are always shining but they can be seen best at night. God has answered my desire to bring Him glory by allowing me to experience some difficult days and long nights. As I have walked in the darkness, my vision often blurred by tears, I have been blessed by the sweetness of His presence. I have found joy and wonder in the midnight blackness because I have found a purpose beyond myself. “The heavens declare the glory of God; the sky above proclaims his handiwork. Day to day pours out speech, night to night reveals knowledge.” (Psalm 19)

I have found in these difficult periods of my life that I have experienced the glory of God, my understanding of His love for me has been magnified. God is so economical in His ways because while He is using my weakness to show me who He really is He is also redeeming my pain and using it to help navigate others into His presence. In doing this He allows me to become part of His celestial navigation plan. He breaths meaning into the dark night of my soul and by infusing my life with His presence and grace I become a star in the night that others can see to lead them into His glorious presence.

O Lord, thank You for the privilege of belonging to You. Thank You for giving meaning to my life, my weakness and even my sorrow. Life is hard with or without You as Lord but when You are Lord You redeem all the suffering and pain. Thank You that You not only magnify Yourself to me but allow me to be part of Your celestial navigation system so that I can magnify You to others.

God Appointed A Worm

“God appointed a worm” Jonah 4:7. I can remember the first time I heard this taught. I was well aware of my worm status but was hoping to be promoted to the butterfly position. In the book of Jonah I found that God could use me even if I never got my wings. Over the years I have learned again and again that it's not about my plans and fitting God into them. It's about God's plans and my surrendering to Him.

One of the beautiful things in the book of Jonah is the list of divine appointments. First God appointed a prophet but he was a reluctant prophet and he chose to go the opposite direction of where God told him to go. So God appointed a storm to get his attention. When Jonah found himself drowning God appointed a fish for transportation. When Jonah had finally obeyed God He appointed a plant to give his prophet shade and save him from discomfort. God had more he wanted to teach Jonah so He appointed a worm to attack the plant,so that it withered. Last of all God appointed a scorching east wind and the sun to beat down on the head of Jonah to make him faint and show him the hardness of his heart.

Everyone knows the value of a prophet but it's easy to overlook the value of a storm,a fish, a plant, a worm, and a scorching east wind. The reason God was sending His prophet to Nineveh was because God is a God of compassion. He wanted the people of Nineveh to hear the message of salvation. God wanted Nineveh to repent. He wanted to have pity on them. Jonah had no pity for Nineveh so God showed him his heart by taking away something Jonah valued, a shade plant. Then God said to Jonah,”You had pity on the plant, for which you did not labor, nor did you make it grow, which came into being in the night and perished in a night. And should I not pity Nineveh?”

There is so much about this story I identify with. Sometimes God has sent me to share His love with people that I don't really care to share His love with. They have been unkind to me and I want to be unkind back or at least pretend they don't exist. And then again there is my longing for wings. If I'm going to be part of this story can't I at least have a pair of beautiful wings? The worm in this story is simply that, a worm not a butterfly. However, this worm was an appointed worm who was part of God's story of redemption.

Lord Jesus, when I consider all these things my mind goes to the second chapter of Philippians “Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves...Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the form of a servant.” Lord, I want to be like You, I want the mind of Christ.

The Impossible Made Possible In The Valley Of Dead Dry Bones

Have you ever looked across the landscape of your live and seen barrenness? You see no signs of life in the situations you find yourself in. If hope is a confident expectation for good the opposite of hope must be despair. When God took Ezekiel into the valley full of dry bones he was showing Ezekiel a picture of despair. It was as if God was saying to Ezekiel, “No more pretending things are better than they are seem. Look around you on the whole surface of the valley there is nothing but very dry bones.” What a depressing picture!

One of the things I look for when I read the Scriptures is when God asks man a question. In my mind's eye I can see Ezekiel looking with despair at all these dry bones and trying to process the hopelessness that they represent when God asks him a question. “Son of man, can these bones live?” Ezekiel 37 Ezekiel's response was humble and wise he said, “O Lord God, you know.” First, he acknowledged Him as Lord then He addressed Him as God. From the perspective of a man there was no hope but Ezekiel was not addressing his answer to a man but to the Lord God. His response showed that he understood that the things that were impossible for him were not impossible for God.

There are situations in my life where God has invited me to participate in the work He is doing of making the impossible possible. This was one of those times in Ezekiel's life. God told him to prophesy over the dead dry bones and when he did he heard the rattling as he watched the bones come together. Then he watched as the sinews covered the bones and then flesh covered the sinews. Now he was in a valley of corpses because there was no breath in any of these bodies. I've been there. Places where I've walked with God believing He could do what I could not, only to find myself surrounded by corpses. There was the promise of life but not the evidence of it and all I knew was that I am surrounded by corpses. God, however was not finished and in the fullness of time He brought forth breath.

In those places of my life where all hope was lost God opened the grave and raised my dreams to life again. He did for me what I could not do for myself. “Without faith it is impossible to please him,for whoever would draw near to God must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who seek him.”Hebrews 11:6 Ezekiel believed, why else would he be speaking to dry bones. His faith was not a feeling, instead it was evidenced by his response to who he believed God to be. Because God was the Lord he did as he was told he prophesied to the bones and then to the wind. He was rewarded for his faith by being part of God's miracle of taking a valley filled with dead dry bones and causing them to become an exceedingly great army.

O Lord Jesus, help me to see my life through the lens of faith. You are the Lord of life. Your are the Redeemer. With You nothing is impossible. You have invited me to be part of the work you are doing in my generation. Your word has told me that You have prepared good works in advance for me to do but they can only be accomplished by faith.  

The Journey

If I close my eyes I can see exactly where I was when I prayed this prayer:“Lord, I don't really want a free will. I want Your will.” I'm not sure what I expected. Perhaps I thought it was the right prayer and after I prayed it I would no longer have any struggles with my sinful nature. I can’t remember what I was expecting because it was over 30 years ago but I can tell you how I have seen God answer that prayer. What I have discovered is that that prayer was not a destination but a starting point for a journey to know God.

As I read through the Bible this year I am looking again at the life of Moses. I can so clearly see from my vantage point how God uniquely put Moses' life together so that he could fulfill God's plan. I can see this because I can read his story from birth to death. He, however, had to live his life the same way I live my life--from day to day. That's why when God sent him back to Egypt after he had been a shepherd for so many years he complained of not being eloquent. God's response to Moses' complaint makes me pause and look at my own life and journey to know God. “The Lord said to him,'Who has made man's mouth? Who makes him mute, or deaf, or seeing ,or blind? Is it not I, the Lord? Now therefore go, and I will be with your mouth and teach you what you shall speak.'”Exodus 3;11,12

God worked in such a powerful way to deliver His people from Pharaoh and yet when they are in the wilderness on their way to the Promised Land, they began to long for the food of Egypt. God told Moses that He had heard the wailing of the people and He was going to send them meat for a whole month. Moses' response was,”Would they have enough if flocks and herds were slaughtered for them? Would they have enough if all the fish in the sea were caught for them?” Numbers 11:21-23 In my journey with God I have often wondered how He would provide for the needs I faced. I have often gone back to what God told Moses because I think it's the same thing He tells me.”Is the Lord's arm too short? You will now see whether or no not what I say will come true for you.”

Long ago during a difficult chapter in my life someone handed me a slip of paper and on it I read;

I said to the man who stood at the gate of the years, “Give me a light that I might find my way.” But he said to me,”Go out into the darkness and put your hand into the hand of God. It will be better than a light and safer than the known way.”

I have found this to be true. As a young woman I wanted to surrender my will to God's will what I discovered in doing so was a journey. A journey much life the one God took Moses and the Children of Israel on. A journey of faith.

Lord Jesus, thank You so much for inviting me on this journey to know you. Looking back over the years I am reminded of a song by Michael Card. “To hear with my heart, to see with my soul, to be guided by a hand I cannot hold. That's what faith must be.” Even though I know I can not physically hold your hand I reach out to You. Guide me on this journey as You guided Moses. I surrender again today my will for Yours.

No Strings Attached

“Let's Go Fly a Kite" was a song from my childhood, and it represents a pure sense of freedom. Yet even though there is freedom seen as the kite soars in the atmosphere, there is a certain tension as well and that can be seen by one of the lines in the song as well.”You can dance on the breeze over houses and trees with you fist holding tight to the string of the kite!” Oh but don't loosen your grip on that string. You cannot trust the wind.

Lately I've been study what it means to walk in the Spirit. Looking up the Greek word for Spirit, I found one of them means wind. I must confess that this has not been a purely academic study. I want my life to be one of walking in the Spirit, but I am aware of the truth: in my battle to choose Spirit over my flesh, my flesh often wins. WHY? I've been reading the Scriptures, meditating, praying and simply not understanding. However, I have always found that when I struggle with something like this that if I don't give up prematurely God always meets with me to give me understanding. Once again I have experienced the truth of the verse which says, “God works in us both to will and to do His good pleasure.” Philippians 2:13

When the children of Israel came out of the Egypt they were free from slavery yet their heart kept seeking idols. Why? I believe it is the same reason that my heart keeps turning to my flesh and why holding onto the string of the kite is so important. It's a matter of trust. Do I really trust God to meet all my needs? Can I really surrender to His love and be like a kite without a string?

There is this tension of fear. The children of Israel had it; that's why they wanted some kind of idol they could control. Sure, God had delivered them from the slavery of Egypt, but could they really trust Him? Wouldn't they be better off to have God and having an idol just in case. For me it's not a whole lot different. Sure, Jesus came and died for my sins and set me free, but can I really trust Him. I am a lot like Eve when Satan tempted her and asked, “Do you really believe God loves you and has your best interest at heart? Just take a look at what He is saying you can't have. Come on be honest don't you want a bite.” I don't want to let go of control; that fruit looks so good. Is God holding out on me. Can I trust Him? He can still be my God, but I've got to have just one bite.

Oh, Lord Jesus, You have called me to freedom. You have told me to trust in you with my whole heart. You have told me that friendship with this world is to be Your enemy, and yet I still want to be a friend of this world. So I come to You today with my hands open wide. May I be a kite without strings free to soar wherever the will of the wind takes me!

The emPHAsis Is On The Wrong sylLAble

You have your emPHAsis on the wrong sylLAble. This is a phrase my husband taught me. When you emphasis the wrong syllable the word ends up sounding strange or just plain wrong. That's not only true with the spoken word that's true in life. I often emphasis the wrong thing and the result is confusion.

There is a war going on. It is a clash of the Spirit against the flesh. Sometimes I just want to give in and say, ”I just can't help myself.” When I do that I am putting the emPHAsis on the wrong sylLAble. This battle of flesh and Spirit is fought first in the mind. According to the fourth chapter of Ephesians before I was a Christian I had no choice. I was callous and given up to sensuality, greed and practices of impurity in other words I was dead spiritually. When I became a Christian I became alive spiritually now I can have the mind of Christ. So which will it be, which will it be? Shall I let the emphasis be on my fleshly desires or shall I obey the Spirit?

Hebrew 11:25 speaks of the fleeting pleasures of sin. If there was no pleasure in sin then there would be no clash between flesh and Spirit. What begins in the mind doesn't stay there it moves to my actions. Romans six goes on to say that I become a slave of the one I obey. I either become a slave of sin that leads to death or of obedience that leads to righteousness.

Something makes me angry. Now I'm faced with a choice. Do I place the emPhasis on the offense and become angry and let strife grow possibly causing divisions and dissension or do I choose to walk in the Spirit and be forgiving? To be honest my flesh wants to simply give full vent to my anger. Where I place the emphasis will go beyond my thoughts and effect my actions. Galatians five tells me that “If we live by the Spirit, let us also walk by the Spirit.”

Lord Jesus, I am faced with this pull between my flesh and Spirit every day in so many ways. You have invited me to walk in your Spirit and experience love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Please let my first response be to turn my face to You and ask for mercy and take hold the grace by faith that You have assured me is available.

The Muddy Feet Of Faith

“I don't know how to do this.” “Sarah, do you know how often you say that?”, my husband replied. “Do you have any idea how often I feel that?”, I thought to myself. It seems life is always taking me in directions I've never been before. I find myself confronted with situations that I didn’t expect and that I feel unequipped to handle.

The children of Israel were confused, Moses was dead and a swollen Jordan River lay between them and the Promised Land. What were they supposed to do? “As soon as you see the ark of the covenant of the LORD you God being carried by the Levitical priests, then you shall set out from your place and follow it...Do not come near it, in order that you may know the way you shall go for you have not passed this way before.”Joshua 3:3

The ark of the covenant represented the Lord's presents with them. They were to follow, simply to follow where they were led. Sometimes I see where the Lord is leading me and I am afraid. Even though I know it is the right way to go I still feel afraid. The children of Israel already knew that there were giants in the land. They knew there were walled cities and yet they were told to follow the ark of the covenant and the presence of the Lord would be with them.

“You have not passed this way before.” I identify with this statement. I have not passed this way before . I am unsure of where this path is leading me. I am faced with the same question the children of Israel were faced with, “Dare I trust the Lord who is leading me?” I find I must do what I'm sure the children of Israel did I must remember. I must remember His faithfulness to me in the past when He lead me through unfamiliar places.

Lord Jesus, You promised that You would never leave me or forsake me. Please help me not to forsake the way You've chosen for me because my faith is weak. When the priest who were carrying the ark of the covenant came to the Jordan it didn't divide until the soles of their feet were wet and they were standing in the muddy water. So Lord today help me not to be afraid to get my feet wet and muddy by following where You lead.