The Journey

If I close my eyes I can see exactly where I was when I prayed this prayer:“Lord, I don't really want a free will. I want Your will.” I'm not sure what I expected. Perhaps I thought it was the right prayer and after I prayed it I would no longer have any struggles with my sinful nature. I can’t remember what I was expecting because it was over 30 years ago but I can tell you how I have seen God answer that prayer. What I have discovered is that that prayer was not a destination but a starting point for a journey to know God.

As I read through the Bible this year I am looking again at the life of Moses. I can so clearly see from my vantage point how God uniquely put Moses' life together so that he could fulfill God's plan. I can see this because I can read his story from birth to death. He, however, had to live his life the same way I live my life--from day to day. That's why when God sent him back to Egypt after he had been a shepherd for so many years he complained of not being eloquent. God's response to Moses' complaint makes me pause and look at my own life and journey to know God. “The Lord said to him,'Who has made man's mouth? Who makes him mute, or deaf, or seeing ,or blind? Is it not I, the Lord? Now therefore go, and I will be with your mouth and teach you what you shall speak.'”Exodus 3;11,12

God worked in such a powerful way to deliver His people from Pharaoh and yet when they are in the wilderness on their way to the Promised Land, they began to long for the food of Egypt. God told Moses that He had heard the wailing of the people and He was going to send them meat for a whole month. Moses' response was,”Would they have enough if flocks and herds were slaughtered for them? Would they have enough if all the fish in the sea were caught for them?” Numbers 11:21-23 In my journey with God I have often wondered how He would provide for the needs I faced. I have often gone back to what God told Moses because I think it's the same thing He tells me.”Is the Lord's arm too short? You will now see whether or no not what I say will come true for you.”

Long ago during a difficult chapter in my life someone handed me a slip of paper and on it I read;

I said to the man who stood at the gate of the years, “Give me a light that I might find my way.” But he said to me,”Go out into the darkness and put your hand into the hand of God. It will be better than a light and safer than the known way.”

I have found this to be true. As a young woman I wanted to surrender my will to God's will what I discovered in doing so was a journey. A journey much life the one God took Moses and the Children of Israel on. A journey of faith.

Lord Jesus, thank You so much for inviting me on this journey to know you. Looking back over the years I am reminded of a song by Michael Card. “To hear with my heart, to see with my soul, to be guided by a hand I cannot hold. That's what faith must be.” Even though I know I can not physically hold your hand I reach out to You. Guide me on this journey as You guided Moses. I surrender again today my will for Yours.