Only one author

There have been some dark chapters in my story. There are places I've been that I would never have chosen to go. Sometimes I've felt like God lead me into my deepest fears. There is a verse in Hebrews that says that Jesus is the author of our faith and I confess there have been times I wanted to take the pen and be the author of my own story.

I have found that every time I have been lead to a place I would never have chosen to go I find Jesus waiting for me there. There are lessons I learn in the darkness I could have never learned in the light. In Hebrews 12 it says, "let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith..."  Faith grows as I face my deepest fears but live my life based not on what I see or feel but believe. I surrender the pen I am not the author of my story. Jesus is not only the author of my faith he is the perfecter of it as well.

I think of the three Hebrew boys whose "race" lead them into a fiery furnace. They were in the furnace but they were not alone. When they came away from the flame only the ropes that bound them were burnt. This has been my experience as well. I think I have faith but when I experience his presents in the midst my pain my faith is strengthened.

I have known this in my own life but sometimes as a mother I want to shield my children. I don't want them to know the heat of the fire but I must ask myself from what am I wanting to shield them. I have to remind myself I am not the author and perfecter of their faith anymore than I am of my own. In faith I watch and pray as Jesus takes them into places where he will reveal himself to them, healing and releasing them from their fears even as he has released me from mine. This I have found is simply another part of the race set before me.

Lord Jesus, you are faithful. Again and again you told me not to be afraid. Thank you for all the times you have redeemed my sorrows and changed them into places where I encountered you in an more intimate way. Thank you that you are at work in my children's lives as well.