Take away the chaff and leave the grain!

"Look at her! She is so serene, so saintly, so Sarah." About that time I wake up from my daydream.

In my daydreams I am very forgiving no matter what the offences are. In my daydreams I have no fear but instead only respond to fearful situations with faith. In my daydreams I trust only in the Lord. I have no secret idols to which I go for comfort. But the pain and pressure and reality of this world wake me up from my daydream and I find the true condition of my heart exposed.

The pain and pressures of this life show me the truth of where I am. My irratablity is really a manifestation of my fear concerning the situation I'm in that I can't control. My overeating isn't just a bad habit it's an idol I turn to for comfort. I believe God uses these broken places in my life to draw me closer to Him.

I really really want to be forgiving. I want to be a woman of faith. I don't want to turn to anything but Jesus. Yet, when my life feels like it is careening out of control I see a different me than the me of my daydreams. I also realize how prideful my daydreams really are. In my daydreams I am the star. The truth is I am in desperate need of my Savior, everyday.

My brokenness causes me to cry out for mercy and grace. It's not always pretty sometimes the scene is downright messy. Like and operating table differs from a  formal dining table, so my reality of who I am differs from my dreams. Yet I find again and again that I am grateful that the Lord exposes me.

"Surely God is my salvation; I will trust and not be afraid. The Lord, The Lord, is my strength and my song; he has become my salvation." Isaiah 12:2 When God allows the pressures of my life to expose the conditions of my heart and I cry out for mercy I find Him faithful to be my strength and the theme of my song. Pride is broken and a true since of stability is found on the Rock of my Salvation.

Lord Jesus, you alone know my heart. I am so much like Peter who vowed he would never forsake you. Yet, when he was sifted he saw who he really was. I feel like I am being sifted. Lord, take away the chaff and leave the grain. Thank You for new mercies every morning!