Don't Be Afraid To Ask

She had only been a Christian for seven months when I met her but during those months she had read through the Bible twice and the New Testament six time. She had been raised in a Communist country and for the first thirty years of her life she had been told there was no God. She was taught all things could be accomplished through human effort. Now her eyes were open to a new world she had never known before, a spiritual world. She had experienced the spiritual birth Jesus talked to Nicodemus about in the third chapter of John.

As I listened to her talk I was reminded of two scriptures, "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation;  the old has gone, the new has come!" 2 Corinthians 5:17 and "I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh." Ezekiel 36:26 Her eyes shone with the excitement of this new life.

I was impressed with the enthusiastic way she was reading through the Scripture. It was all new to her and she could not get enough of it. However, she had many questions. What she had been taught and what she was learning in God's word were two very different ways of thinking. When she asked me her questions I was impressed at how different they were from the questions I ask. Her questions were formed in part by the culture she had born into and the things she had been taught from her youth.

To be honest I didn't have an answer to all her questions. But I shared with her what I have learned as a Christian seeking to understand God's word. I believe this is part of God's plan to draw us closer to Him. Jesus said, "Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you." Matthew 7:7 Jeremiah 29:13 says, "You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart." Our questions are as different as our experiences but as we ask our questions we are draw deeper and deeper into our relation with God.

Lord Jesus, after all these years of being a Christian I still have so many questions. Please help me take the time to formulate them so that I can ask, seek and knock. Please help me to be as enthusiastic as this young Christian so that I seek you will all my heart,

Between The Years

I call it the hallway between the years. This week between Christmas and the New Year is when I look back and read the journal I've been keeping. Looking at where I have been helps me gain perspective and see where I am going.

This hasn't been an easy year. There have been a lot of changes in my life and I have never found change easy. However, there have been some wonderful blessings as well. Because of the difficulties of this year the blessings seem to shine like stars in the night. I look at my blessings of this year in the same way a sailors looks to the stars to navigate. I choose to record my journey through the past year not based on  the darkness but on the point of light.

When I look at the prophecies in Scripture I see stars by which to navigate my life. In addition to looking back and seeing where God has led me I look forward and gain insight to where He is leading. "We have a more sure, the prophetic word, to which you will do well to pay attention as to a lamp shinning in a dark place, until the day dawns and the morning star rises in your hearts." 2 Peter 1:19

Every year when I read through the Bible I trace God's faithfulness to fulfill the promises He made. I can see many of the prophecies that Isaiah, Jeremiah, Daniel and the rest of the prophets accepted by faith already fulfilled. These fulfilled prophecies have become the foundation stones I stand on  as I gaze at the stars in the night sky looking forward to the prophecies yet to be fulfilled.

Lord Jesus, You are the sun of righteousness who has risen with healing in your wings that the prophets foretold. When I reflect on the blessings of this past year I see the lamp of your love guiding me. As I look to this coming year please help me pay attention to your guiding light until the day dawns and Your morning star rises in my heart.

A Deeper Surrender

When I was a little girl I used to think that I could be a better person if only I was in a different setting. I wanted to be good I really did but I was constantly failing. Focusing on my failures often lead to depression. I was reminded of this recently as I talked to a young man who told me that he would be a different person if only he had a different set of circumstances. I shared with him what I learned from the Lord through my constant prayer about my own struggle with sin.

Both this young man and myself had received justification by faith in Jesus. He and I both understood that Jesus himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, that we might die to sin and live to righteousness. We both understood that it wasn't our own good works that brought salvation. We understood that by Jesus' wounds we were healed. The question we had both struggled with was, how. How do we die to sin and live to righteousness?

I shared with my young friend what I am still in the process of learning, a deeper surrender to the love of God. The first step in this surrender is to agree with God when he points out sin. What I usually do when my sin is exposed to focus on the sin. I either try to justify it or I feel guilty about it. When I choose to surrender to God's love I life my eyes away from my sin and look into my Savior's face. Then my heart is full of gratitude instead of self loathing.

"We are at war", I told my friend. "We are at war with the world, the flesh and the devil. No matter where you are or what your circumstances of life are this is simply true." In this war the goal is to die to sin and live to righteousness but how? Again I believe the answer is a deeper surrender to the love of God.

A deeper surrender to the love of God is to be filled with His spirit. Surrendering to his love we rejoice in hope anchoring our expectations in his promise that he has set us free from the bondage of sin. Surrendering to his love we choose to be patient in affliction we don't give up. Surrendering to his love we choose to not surrender to our flesh, the world or the devil but stand our ground and fight. Often standing our ground is done on our knees being faithful in prayer. Refusing to give up or give in but being sure of what we hope for and confident about what we do not see we continue to come to the throne of the Almighty and pour out our hearts.

Something happens in this struggle. I want my Christian life to be easy. I want to be good I don't want to sin but I don't want it to be a struggle. However, I see a different pattern in Romans 12. "I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect." Somewhere in this struggle transformation takes place. Surrendering to God's love and offering my body as a living sacrifice is worship.

Lord Jesus, you did for me what I could not do for myself you took my sin and gave me your righteousness. You also gave me your Holy Spirit. Your word tells me to fight the good fight and to finish the race. Lord Jesus, you are my High Priest always making intersession for me before the throne of God please let the only thing I surrender to in this life be your love! Please let me be an encouragement to those around me not to give up because you won the war let us claim the victory.

A Detailed Plan

I was in High School and discussing the mysteries of the Universe with my friends. It was an interesting discussion because we had all heard different theories and we were comparing notes. One boy spoke with more authority than the rest of us his because brother was in seminary. He explained to us that the world was like a big clock that God wound up. After God set things in motion he stepped out of the picture and was just going to watch to see how things turned out.

This picture of an indifferent God was interesting to me but not comforting. Was my friend right? Was I along with all of creation left to chance? How did what I believe about God's caring or not caring affect anything anyway? As I thought about this I realized my belief about the nature of God was foundational not only in the way I viewed the world but also in the way I saw myself.

When I read the book of the book Jonah I saw a very different picture of God than the clockwork God my friend had told me about. In Jonah I found a God who had boundless compassion for the people He had created. Not just compassion on the Jew's who were considered His chosen people but also on the pagan sailors and the Ninevites. In this story of redemption and compassion God used all of His creation to carry out His plan.

The story of Jonah is full of divine appointments. First, God appointed His prophet Jonah to go to his enemies the Ninevites. Next, God appointed a storm to get Jonah's attention when Jonah had decided to go in a direction dirrent from God's. God appoint a great fish to keep Jonah from drowning and give him time to think about the direction he was headed. God appointed a plant to grow and give Jonah shade and save him from discomfort, while Jonah was waiting for God to destroy Nineveh. Finally, God appointed a worm to attack the plant and make it wither. This made Jonah very angry. God used it as an illustration that although Jonah had compassion on the plant because it gave him comfort from the heat he had no compassion on the city of Nineveh.

Lord Jesus, in this story of the redemptive love of God I see a picture of You. "For God so loved the world, that he sent his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. For God didn't send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him." John 3:16,17 Thank you for not being an indifferent God but a God of love and compassion. When I see my life reflected in your love it has meaning.



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When The Sunrise Visits Us From On High

One of the things I enjoyed when I worked in the cafe' was hearing people's stories. I didn’t always know their name only their story that was revealed little by little each time they come. It happened once when with a lady who was having lunch with her sister. As they were leaving the woman mention how her sister had been very near death nine months earlier. Her sister came back the next week and told me more of her story.

She told me how she had spent twenty three days in intensive care. She was in and out of consciousness and was not expected to live. She told me about how helpless she had been unable to do anything for herself. She had been a Christian for many years yet while she was in ICU not only was she unable to physically do anything for herself she was not even able to pray. As she was coming back into consciousness she heard God speaking to her. He said, "I am for you, even when you cannot be for yourself." She told how the realization of God's tender mercy had changed her life  and brought her a great deal of peace.

I have been thinking about her experience for days. I think it is a beautiful picture of what God did for us at Christmas when He sent His Son. Zechariah's prophecy after the birth of John the Baptist reflects this. "And you, child, will be called the prophet of the Most High; for you will go before the Lord to prepare his ways, to give knowledge of salvation to his people in the forgiveness of their sins, because of the tender mercy of our God, whereby the sunrise shall visit us from on high to give light to those who sit in darkness and the shadow of death, to guide our feet into the way of peace”(Luke 1:76-69).

She spoke of her illness as a gift that showed her God's mercy and had brought her to a place of peace she had never known before.  We talked about how God gives us grace in that He gives us what we don't deserve and how in His mercy he withholds the punishment our sins deserves but there is so much more to His mercy. Another translation for God's mercy is lovingkindness. God lovingkindness offers us a place of rest. "How excellent is Thy lovingkindness, O God! therefore the children of men put their trust under the shadow of Thy wings”(Psalm 36:7).

The truth of God's mercy and grace don't change but I think my understanding changes as I go through different experiences. When I was a little girl I was filled with wonder that God would become a baby and be born in a manger. Now as I think of God's lovingkindness towards me I am filled with awe. Though I haven't been through a life threatening illness the message that He is for me even when I cannot be for myself fills me with gratitude.

Lord Jesus, truly you are the sunrise from on high who has shone on us in our darkness. Thank you for guiding us in the way of peace and letting us rest under the shadow of your wing. Oh yes and thank you that even when we could do nothing to bring about our salvation You came and did for us what we could not do for ourselves.

You Epidermis Is Showing

I was a self conscious first grader on the bus the first time I heard the word. A much older child looked at me and said, "Your epidermis is showing!" I had no idea what it meant but I was sure it couldn't be good. Because I didn't know what it was I didn't know how to fix it. I got off the bus and went running into the house crying. I found my mother, lifted my tear stained face and whispered to her the horrible truth that my epidermis was showing and I didn't know what to do about it. Mother wrapped her arms around me and choking back the laughter as she explained that epidermis means skin.

I thought about this expression recently in relation to the "flesh". When the Bible speaks of the "flesh" it speaks of natural desires that have become warped or twisted. I was under a lot of pressure and my response was to become angry and unkind. After my emotional explosion I sat there feeling very exposed and the words came back to me, "Your epidermis is showing!" not just my skin but also my "flesh".

One analogy I heard for the "flesh" was a scar on the landscape of your soul. I like this analogy because as I consider my fleshly patterns that are contrary to walking according to the Spirit of God I can sometimes trace it back to a scar on my soul. A scar is a place where once there was a wound. When I was a little girl I used food to comfort myself. There is nothing wrong with food but when I turn to food for comfort instead to God it is a fleshly response to pain and not a spiritual response. When life get stressful sometimes I revert back to this fleshly response to pain and "my epidermis shows".

So what should I do to deal with this? If I go to a bookstore I can find countless number of self-help books. I have bought many myself. However, I have never been able by self effort to bring healing. There is always suppression. I determine that I will suppress my "flesh", but the more I think about suppressing my "flesh" the greater the desire becomes to give into it. In this struggle I identify with Paul who said, "For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is in my flesh. For I have a desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out." Romans 12:18

Is there a solution for this problem? Oh Yes! "There is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. For the law of the Spirit of life has set you free in Christ Jesus from the law of sin and death. For God has done what the law weakened by the flesh ,could not do." Romans 8:1-8 It is not by suppression or human effort that I deal with these scars on the landscape of my soul it is a matter of walking by the spirit. "But I say walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh." Galatians 5:16

Lord Jesus, I come humbly before you. Thank you coming to earth to be my Savior. Thank you for setting me free from the law of sin and death. Thank you for setting me free by the power of Your Spirit. Help me today to walk in the freedom of Your Spirit and not in my flesh.

When Darkness Hides His Face

Prayers offered in the night when the darkness of the sky represents the spiritual darkness that I since are heard. Again and again as I read the scriptures I see an invitation to anchor my confidence in the promises and person of Jesus Christ and not to give up but to be faithful in prayer. "I've lost all hope in life", I have heard people say. Hope can be lost only if you place it in the wrong thing. Hope placed in God will not leave me ashamed because, "God's love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit given to us." Romans 5:1-5 Because of this hope I continue to pray in the night.

I have pictures on my refrigerator of children in whose lives I've invested. I hear reports of what they are doing now and it makes me sad. Should I give up and stop praying? Have I given up all hope in them? Is that the right question? I don't think so. What I see in Scripture is that hope involves patience and endurance because I don't hope for what I see but for what I believe. Hope is bound up in faith and faith gives me an assurance of what I cannot see. Because of my hope I choose to pray not because of what I see but because of the one in whom I believe.

I think that two of my enemies favorite tactics are discouragement and anxiety. When I read the book of Ezra I see the enemy using these two weapons. God had spoken to his people through His prophets that if they did not obey His word that they would go into captivity for seventy years. When the seventy years was up and they were back in their land rebuilding the temple they became discouraged. They were being threatened constantly by their enemy. The ones among them who remembered the former glory of the temple that had been destroyed were disappointed that Zerubbabel's temple did not compare with it in size or in beauty. Because of their discouragement they stopped the work.

Isn't this the way it works? When the darkness of doubt and difficulty cloud my spiritual vision I want to give up and just live in the moment. Hope calls me to base my actions not on what I see but what I believe. When the people in Ezra's day stopped work on the temple and just focused on their on houses and their own comfort God sent them two prophets. Haggai and Zechariah, through their prophecies, pull back the curtains of heaven. The people were given an eternal perspective and hope was reborn.

There was a song written by Edward Mote in 1834 one of the verses says, "When darkness seems to hide His face, I rest on His unchanging grace. In every high and stormy gale, my anchor holds within the veil." And so I continue to offer my prayers in the night. When the darkness of doubt or fear hides His face I choose to persevere because I believe in the end the love of God will be poured out.

In The Presence Of A Holy God

How are unholy people supposed to come before a holy God? I always feel like I should begin my prayers by telling God I'm sorry. I know in many cultures when they think of coming into God's presents they do penance. This sometimes involves things like processions, crawling on you knees to church, or walking barefoot on the cobblestone streets. In some cases with faces are covered. There are those who carry heavy stalks covered in thorns through the street. These men walk in agony through the streets trying to purify themselves of sin and longing to come before God. I understand their desire to do penitence it's the same as my desire to begin my prayers telling God I am so sorry for my sin. But when I look at Scripture I see a different way.

"Come into his presence with singing! Know that the LORD, he is God! It is he who made us, and we are his; we are his people, and the sheep of his pasture. Enter his gates with thanksgiving, and his courts with praise! Give thanks to him; bless his name!" What I see in Psalm 100 is an invitation not to do penance, not to stare at my sin and shame, but to inter into the loving presence of God. I always have to be careful not to use to many exclamation marks when I write but there are six exclamation marks in the first four verses of this psalm! How are unholy people to come into the presence of a holy God? With joy and gladness and singing and thanksgiving and praise blessing His name focused on His love and not our unworthiness.

Surely this would be enough but there is more. In Psalm 100 it says that we are the sheep of his pasture  but sometimes sheep stray. What then? Jesus told us,"If a man has a hundred sheep and one of them has gone astray, does he not leave the ninety-nine on the mountains and go in search of the one that went astray? And if he finds it, truly, I say to you, he rejoices over it more than over the ninety- nine that never went astray." Matthew 18: 12 Again the terms of fellowship are not based on the straying sheep but the faithful shepherd and there is joy and rejoicing.

"For the LORD is good; his steadfast love endures forever, and his faithfulness to all generation." Psalm 100 I am a mother and a grandmother how wonderful to know that the love of God is steadfast and unfailing even when I or the ones I love fail. My heart is full of joy and gladness and thanksgiving because I am welcomed in his presence and his faithfulness extends through the generation.

Lord Jesus, thank you that you didn't wait for us to be good enough to come to you. You came to us and announced your coming by angels who spoke to the shepherds saying,"Fear not, for behold, I bring you good news of a great joy that will be for all the people. For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Savior, who is Christ the Lord."

A Desperate Plea!

Yes! I hear in my prayer an echo of his prayer. "O my God, incline your ear and hear. Open your eyes and see our desolations, and the city that is called by your name. For we do not present our pleas before you because  of our righteousness, but because of your great mercy. O Lord, hear; O Lord, forgive. O Lord, pay attention and act." This is Daniel's prayer, this is his plea for mercy when he sees his own sin and the sin of those around him. All I can say is ,Yes!

How should a Holy God respond to a people who so blatantly sin against him again and again. Really, what I want to know is how God will respond to me. It's me, I'm the one again and again coming before Him. I want to be righteous but I'm painfully aware of my failures. But it's not just me, it's the people I love. I want them all to be perfect. I can't come before God because I'm righteous I can only come because He's merciful. Most of the time I'm more aware of my sinfulness and the sinfulness of the ones I love than I am of the mercy of God and it keep me from praying and just makes me sad.

When I see the passion of Daniel's prayer it gives me the courage to use his words as my own,"O Lord, forgive. O Lord, pay attention and act." I want to put an exclamation point at the end of every sentence. Am I praying or screaming at God? God didn't get mad at Daniel He sent Gabriel in "swift flight", like a father who comes to the aid of a frightened child. What was the message that God sent by His messenger? "O Daniel, I have now come to give you insight and understanding. At the beginning of your pleas for mercy a word went out, and I have come to tell it to you, for you are greatly loved."

So what did Gabriel say? In Daniel 9: 24-27 God gave a prophecy that showed His plan,"to finish the transgression, to put an end to sin, and to atone for iniquity, to bring everlasting righteousness..." Within these four verses comes the comfort that the God of Mercy forgives and is paying attention and has a plan. Who did God send with this message of salvation?

There was four hundred years of silence between the Old and New Testament but when the silence was broken Gabriel was there again proclaiming good news, God had a plan. First he spoke to Zechariah,"I am Gabriel, who stands in the presents of God, and I was sent to speak to you and bring you this good news." The good news was that Zechariah's prayers had been heard and that his wife Elizabeth would bear a son. Six months later Gabriel was sent from God to a city of Galilee named Nazareth with a message to a virgin named Mary.

Lord Jesus, thank you that when I cry out to you for mercy you open my eyes to the truth. You have a plan to,"finish the transgression, to put an end to sin, and to atone for iniquity, to bring in everlasting righteousness." Thank you for hearing and forgiving. Thank you for not only sending Gabriel but for coming yourself to be our Savior.

Songs In The Night

The day had been long and I was tired. I welcomed the night. I climbed into bed ready to relinquish my conscious state for  blissful sleep. My head sank into the pillow, I was cocooned in the warmth of my blankets as I drifted into the restful night. Then suddenly I was awake.

There was no light the night was black. My mind and body were exhausted but I was awake. The blankets now felt like chains that bound me. The pillow was suffocating like my thoughts. A parade of worrisome and anxious thoughts trooped into my mind. The darkness and my fatigued state accentuated the reality that I was not in control.

Many years ago I learned the verse, "I remember you upon my bed, and meditate on you in the watches of the night; for you have been my help, and in the shadow of your wings I will sing for joy. My soul clings to you; your right hand upholds me." Psalm 63:6-8 When I was a little girl and would wake up with night terrors I would call out for my father. There is something about being awaken in the night that makes you seek out someone stronger than yourself. Now as a grandmother and mother I still cry out in prayer to one who is stronger than I am.

"By day the LORD commands his steadfast love, and at night his song is with me, a prayer to the God of my life." Psalm 42:8 My song in the night is a song about the unfailing love of God. My spirit sings it loudly to drown out the voices of despair. The theme of salvation and redemption quiet both my soul and my mind. He is able to do for me and those I love what I cannot.

This morning I read Psalm 136. Twenty six times in twenty six verses it states,"His love endures forever." This is the chorus of my song in the night. Hearing it again and again I am able to find rest for my mind and my soul.

The One Who Holds The Scepter Rules

"I am the master of my fate and the captain of my ship!" That sounds nice but the truth looks more like this,"I am stressed out. I have too many options and I don't really know what I should do. “The serpent said to the woman, 'You will not surely die. For God knows that when you eat of it your eyes will be opened,and you will be like God,knowing good and evil.'" (Genesis 3:4) What really happened was their eyes were opened and they realized they were naked and they hid themselves from God and death entered the world on every level. Blessing was replaced by a curse but even then there was a promise of redemption. A promise that was to come in the form of a child.

This promise is spoken of again in Isaiah 9:2-7 "The people who walked in darkness have seen a great light; on them has the light shined...For to us a child is born, to us a son is given; and the government shall be upon his shoulder;" I remember the first time it was explained to me that it wasn't only the government of the nations but the government of my life that was to be placed upon his shoulders. I was invited to relinquish the burden I was never intended to carry. I felt I had been invited back into the garden in the cool of the day and I could hear the sound of God walking towards me inviting me to let Him be the master of my fate and the captain of my ship.

"And his name shall be called Wonderful Counselor" On this side of eternity I still get stressed and I  and confused about what I'm supposed to be doing but I have access to the Wonderful Counselor. I no longer have to sit in the darkness of confusion. "Mighty God, Everlasting Father," When I read this I am reminded of how Jesus taught me to pray,"Our Father,who art in Heaven." When Jesus died on the cross he cried out "It is Finished!" The curse was broken and now I have an Everlasting Father to whom I approach knowing the government of my life is on His shoulders.

"Prince of Peace." There was a song I sang many years ago and one of the verses was,"Peace is the flag flown high from the castle of my heart when the king is in residence there" Some of the synonyms for peace are, calmness, quiet, tranquility and rest. If the Prince of Peace is governing my life and he is the Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, and Everlasting Father is makes since that all the synonyms for peace could be used to describe me right? So why do I wake up in the middle of the night anxious, stress out and afraid? The snake in the garden still comes to me with his lies that I can be my own god. However, when I am awaken in the darkness by a wash of anxiety I now can focus on the light of truth that the government of my life has been placed on the shoulders of Jesus Christ. The curse has been broken!

Lord Jesus, when I meditate on the way you came to earth as a baby and fulfilled the promise made in the garden my heart is filled with joy and I sing, "No more let sins and sorrows grow, nor thorns infest the ground; he comes to make his blessings flow far as the curse is found." In grateful humility I bow before you and relinquish to you the government of my life.

Clinging God's Kindness Or Clinging To Worthless Idols

The call came at 3 A.M. My daughter's car had a flat tire and she was pulled over on the side of the interstate. My husband was attempting to explain over the phone what she needed to do but she was tired,cold and frightened. That's when he showed up. An older man stopped to help her and within minutes he had changed the tire for her and she was on her way. I thanked God for the kindness of a stranger.

"I expect to pass through this world but once; any good thing therefore that I can do,or any kindness that I can show to any fellow creature, let me do it now; let me not defer or neglect it, for I shall not pass this way again." Ettiene De Grellet I believe kindness is a reflection of the love of God and a gift of the Holy Spirit.

This morning I read the book Jonah. In it I saw the precious loving kindness of God inviting all men to take refuge in the shadow of His wings. Jonah was to be God's messenger of kindness but he didn't want the job. He rebelled against God and received the judgement he thought the people of Nineveh deserved. But in the midst of judgement God extended kindness to Jonah the kindness He also wanted to show to the people of Nineveh. I learn from Jonah that when I extend mercy to others I position myself to receive mercy from God.

"In my distress I called to the Lord. and he answered me. From the depths of the grave I called for help, and you listened to my cry...To the roots of the mountains I sank down; the earth beneath barred me in forever. But you brought my life up from the pit, O LORD my God." The mercy God extended to Jonah was a picture of the kindness he wanted to share with the people of Nineveh as well.

I wonder sometimes how I represent the God I serve. Do I neglect or defer opportunities to show kindness to those around me? The truthful answer is yes. I am often like Jonah passing judgment on others. I am often self centered and cling to my agenda like a god and do not want to interrupt my plans to be bothered by the needs of others. Not just the needs of strangers but the needs of those I supposedly "love".

Lord Jesus, your word teaches that love is patient and kind. I confess I lack this kindness but I also believe that it is a gift of your Holy Spirit. Your word also teaches that,"Those who cling to worthless idols forfeit the grace that could be theirs." Jonah 2:8 Lord Jesus, I confess my sin of clinging to the idol of my time,my things, my value. I lay them down before you and ask that I might receive the grace to show kindness to my fellow creatures today,for I shall not pass this way again.

I Can't Do This!

I can't do this! It's just to hard! I feel overwhelmed!

These are feelings I am very familiar with. I have felt them at every stage of my life. When I was a student and exams were approaching I would often feel panicked and overwhelmed. As a mother it started when I was in the delivery room and the contractions became seemingly impossible to bear. Then surrounded by my children I was constantly confronted with situations where I was supposed to be in charge and I didn't know what to do.

"I can't do this! It's just to hard! I feel overwhelmed." I always see pictures of Mary as being calm and serene, but God used real people not actors. When Mary's honor was brought into question because of the pregnancy, when she had to go to Bethlehem when it was time to give birth, when she had to flee to Egypt in the night to save the life of her child, I think she was stressed. She was a young woman given a task that was to big for her to do.

What was it the angel had said to her? "Greetings, you who are highly favored! The Lord is with you." As I meditate on this I wonder, is this true for Mary alone? Hasn't God also promised to with me. When Mary wondered how the things the angel told her could happen the angel said,"The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you." God was not calling Mary to accomplish this task apart from Him but empowered by Him. This isn't really different from the things God is calling me to do.

When Jesus was preparing to leave his disciples he gave them this promise. "If you love me, you will keep my commandments. And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Helper, to be with you forever, even the Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot receive, because it neither sees him nor knows him. You know him, for he dwells with you and will be in you." John 14:15-17 This is the same Spirit that overshadowed Mary and made the impossible possible.

The last words the angle said to Mary were,"For nothing is impossible with God". Mary humbled herself and responded, "I am the Lord's servant. May it be to me as you have said."  This reminds me of Ephesians 2:8-10 "For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works,so that no one may boast. For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared before-hand, that we should walk in them." So I choose to say with Mary," I am the Lord's servant. May I walk in the good deeds you prepared in advance for me to do."

Lord Jesus, you know that when I am faced with tasks that overwhelm me my human response is to panic. When I feel my children are in harms way I feel frightened. I think Mary must have shared these human emotions as well. Help me to look at the responsibilities you've given me with eyes of faith and not with eyes of flesh. When my flesh screams,"I can't do this! It's just to hard. I feel overwhelmed!". Help me to anchor my hope in your promise that you have given me your Holy Spirit and with you nothing is impossible.

Power Made Perfect In Weakness

She is many years my senior yet she is my friend. I have walked beside her as the light in her eyes dimmed and her vision faded. Her world has become closed in by silence. Her brilliant mind can no longer retain the information given her and she asks again and again the same questions. Her body has become frail and like a child she needs help with simple tasks. In all of her frailty she has taught me the truth of power made perfect in weakness.

When her strength first began to fail she shared with me her prayer. "I have prayed and told the Lord if He could use my weakness to bless my family that I am willing to be weak." Truly this prayer of surrender is a prayer of love. "Greater love has no one than this, that someone lays down his life for his friends." John 15:13 I have seen a reflection of the love of God in her sacrifice for her family and those who know her. Grace and been poured out and many have been blessed.

Recently her son received a call in the night,she had fallen. I watched as he gently lifted her in his arms.   He placed her lovingly in her bed then sat beside her, his arm wrapped around her frail shoulders. I couldn't help but ask myself, "Who lifted whom?"

When the Bible describes love it begins this way, " Love is patient and kind." 1 Corinthians 13. In an attempt to define patience I found,"Bearing or enduring pain, difficulty, provocation, or annoyance with calmness." When I read this definition it made me smile because it reminded me of becoming a mother and taking care of my newborn children. God used my children to teach me how to love. Now I also see it in reverse. I see a mother who is willing to be used by God to teach her children how to love.

In attempting to understand kindness I found that kindness means to do good to others in thought,word of deed. If I am kind then my goal is to be an instrument of God in the lives of others. This is the loving kindness I have seen in my friend. By surrendering her weakness to the grace of God she has taught us one by one to learn in turn to treat her with loving kindness as well.

Lord Jesus, thank you for putting people in my life that light the path that leads to you. Thank you for giving me an example of what power made perfect in weakness looks like.

Who Controls the Trajectory of You Life?

"Surely the Sovereign Lord does nothing without revealing his plan to his servants the prophets." Amos 3:7 But did he know this sitting alone in his cell? His brothers had betrayed him, when he had responded to temptation righteously he had been slandered, and now he sat in his cell forgotten. But was he truly forgotten? Could Joseph have known that the course he was on had been chosen for him from the beginning of time?

"Know for certain that your offspring will be sojourners in a land that is not theirs and will be servants there, and they will be afflicted for four hundred years. But I will bring judgement on the nation that they serve, and afterward they shall come out with great possessions." Genesis 15:13-14 God had determined the trajectory of Abraham's descendants before any had been born. He knew they would go to Egypt how long they would stay and that he would deliver them.

In the fullness of time Joseph stood before Pharaoh. His trust in God had been fully tested. What Pharaoh saw before him was a man in whom the Spirit of God dwelt. Because Joseph had chosen to trust God he had entered into a place of rest in the midst of turmoil. It was rest for his soul. A place of surrender to an Sovereign Lord.

After four hundred years, just as God had foretold, Israel called out to Him in their distress and He delivered them. According to Psalm 81 he answered them in the secret place of thunder; and tested them at the waters of Meribah. He tested them to see if they would trust Him. He brought them out of slavery and promised them that if they would only open wide their mouth He would fill it. But they wouldn't listen,they wouldn't submit, they chose their own counsel over God's counsel. The path God had chosen for them would have lead them to inter into His rest. In their rebellion they chose a different way.

Lord Jesus, sometimes life is hard and I do not understand what I see. Please help me be like Joseph and put my faith in you. I do believe it is your will to bring honey from the rock,sweetness from the hardest places of my life. Lord please don't let me by lack of faith alter the trajectory you have chosen for my life.

A Truth That Cannot Be Hidden

A truth that cannot be hidden, a light that cannot be extinguished and a thirst that cannot be denied, these were the things I thought of while I listened to her story.

I listened as a beautiful young woman from China told me her story. She had been taught that all things could be accomplished by hard work. She had been taught that there was no Spiritual truth that it was all a myth. She said with eighty percent of her mind she agreed yet there was twenty percent of her that wondered. The truth could not be hidden, when it found her it set her free. I saw on her face pure joy, she had experienced a spiritual birth.

I meet the young man on a university campus in the Czech Republic. "Tell me how you became a Christian." He told me that he had been raised in a Communist home. He had been taught that Christianity was foolishness. Yet, when he came to the University he saw something different in the lives of those who followed Jesus. He was drawn to the light and the warmth that he found when he was around them. The light shone in the darkness and the darkness could not extinguish it. He came to the light and experienced a spiritual birth.

I knew she would be my friend from the moment I met her. She had been part of the Romanian Communist party. She told me how she had come to know Jesus as her Savior and in doing so a deep thirst in her soul had been satisfied. She had a passion to share Jesus with any who would listen. Being with her reminded me of Isaiah 55:1 "Come, everyone who thirsts, come to the waters; and he who has no money,buy and eat!"

When Nicodemus came to Jesus at night with his questions Jesus responded by saying,"Truly,truly,I say to you unless one is born again he cannot see the kingdom of God." Nicodemus found this very illogical and Jesus went on to say,"That which is born of the flesh is flesh, and that which is born of the Spirit is spirit." Jesus drew the parallel between the Spirit and the wind. "The wind blows where it wishes, and you hear its sound, but you do not know where it comes from or where it goes. So it is with everyone who is born of the Spirit." John 3 My friends had been told to ignore the wind that it didn't exist yet they found they could not deny it's reality.

Lord Jesus, when I meet those to whom the truth has been reveal, upon whom the light of Your glory shines and who have experienced the quenching of their thirst my heart sings the words from Hosea 6:3 "Let us know; let us press on to know the Lord;his going out is sure as the dawn; he will come to us as the showers, as the spring rains water the earth."

This Wasn't What I Expected

The year was 1988 I was expecting a baby Christmas week. As I thought about getting into the car for a forty five minute drive to church I groaned. That was when I began to imagined a conversation between Mary and God. This is what came to mind:

Go to Bethlehem, what is he talking about Lord! I'm about to have a baby. Everything seems so confusing it's not at all like I had planned. Yet the message You have given me again and again through these nine months has remained the same. You have said,"As you go, step by step, I will open the way before you."

O Lord, it was such a short time ago I heard your angle telling me that I was most blessed among women because I had been chosen to be the mother of the Son of God. I knew from that moment on my life would never be the same but I could not fathom at that time the changes that were to come.

When I first told my family I thought they would share my joy but instead it was shame I read on their faces. They didn't understand it was the Son of God I was carrying within me. I cried out to You in prayer and heard Your gentle reply.

"Child of my love, fear not the unknown morrow. Dread not the new demand life makes of you. Your ignorance holds no cause for sorrow, since what you do not know is known to Me."

With Your words of assurance I went to my cousin Elisabeth's. At last I found someone who understood the miracle that was taking place within me. Oh the joy of praising You together for what You had done in each of our lives.

I wanted to stay Elisabeth but the time came when I had to go back to Nazareth. Would they understand now that the child within me was from God? I cried out to You for direction, I did not understand all that happening to me. You didn't explain but Your answer sustained me.

"Child, you do not see today the hidden meaning of my command, but you will gain light. You must walk on in faith leaning on my promises. You can only see one step now that is far enough for faith to see. Take that step and you next duty will be shown you. It is step by step that I am leading you."

But Lord, I was so sure that even if all my family had misunderstood surely Joseph would know I was carrying Your child. It was shortly after my return home that heard Joseph was planning to put me away quietly. Oh how I cried that night to You. Thinking I was all alone with such a large task ahead of me. It was during that long night I heard Your encouraging words.

"My child, do not stand in fear counting your adversaries. You must dare every peril except to disobey. You will march on all obstacles surmounting. For I, the Strong, will open up the way."

How overjoyed I was to find the next morning that You had revealed to Joseph that this baby was from God. The wonder and the joy that Joseph and I have shared knowing that we are part of Your plan has filled me with delight. Now I knew everything was going to be okay. Except--- expect now the word has come that we must go to Bethlehem. How can I travel so far feeling the way I do? Where will this child, Your son, be born? Once again I hear Your voice.

"My daughter, go gladly to the task I have assigned you. Having My promise, needing nothing more, than just to know, wherever the future finds you. In all your journeys I go before."

It was twenty three years ago that I wrote this. Life as been full of unexpected twists and some heartbreaking turns. Yet I still find it true that following God requires faith to believe that He is leading me step by step. I have the same assurance that Mary had that wherever the future finds me in all my journeying He has gone before.

And Then What?

My sister rides bicycles. She rides them up and down mountains!

My sister and I have the same parents. We share the same genetic background. We have the same number of muscles in our bodies. But we are not the same. What's the difference? My sister has disciplined her body and exercised her muscles so that she is able to do things I wouldn't even try.

I have another sister who gave me an amazing electronic reading device. It wasn't my birthday. It wasn't Christmas. There was no occasion that would make me think I deserved this gift. It was given to me simply because I have an extraordinarily generous sister. Now the gift is mine and I am trying to figure out how to use it.

I see a parallel between my sister who has exercised and used her the muscles to the point that she is able to ride up and down mountains and what Paul teaches about athletes in 1 Corinthians 9:24-26. "Every athlete exercises self-control in all things." This is true of my sister with her bike riding. But there is also the athlete of the spirit who who exercises spiritual discipline. What difference does it make? I think that just as the physical muscle is strengthen by physical exercise the spiritual life is strengthened by spiritual  exercises.

I have an confession. When my sister first gave me the electronic reader I was intimidated by it. It took me a while to begin to even figure out a little of it's capacity. This reminded me of Paul's instruction to Timothy,"Do not neglect the gift you have, which was given you...practice these things,devote yourself to them, so that all may see your progress." When I became a Christian I was given spiritual gifts. I have the option of developing my spiritual gifts or neglecting my spiritual gifts.

Lord Jesus, all I have I have received by your grace. Please help me be an athlete of the spirit so I can develop spiritually. Help me not neglect the Spiritual gifts you have given me but learn to use them for you glory.

Free To Be Who God Created You To Be

Sarah, will you upholster my car?

A little back ground check on this question would reveal two facts. One, I had never upholstered anything in my life and two, the question was asked by my young husband who believed I could do anything. There is something about knowing you are loved that enables you to do more than you ever imagined you could do. I did upholster his car and when it was finished it looked pretty good.

"Love was when God became a man locked in time and space without rank or place. Love was God born to Jewish kin. Just a carpenter with some fishermen." This song reminds me of Philippians 2:6 "Christ Jesus,who though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but made himself nothing ,taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross." What a picture of love! But how did his love change the people he loved?

Who did Jesus chose for his companions, not the wealthy highly educated people of his day. He went to the ordinary but when they were exposed to the love of God they were never the same. In John 8 Jesus said, "If you abide in my word, you are truly my disciples, and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free." Again he said,"So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed." This truth of the saving love of God sets the captive free.

Down through the ages this amazing transformation has taken place in those who have accepted the love of God. Ordinary people doing extraordinary things. How? "God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him." 1 John 4:16 What an extraordinary truth! It is a truth that sets you free to be the person God created you to be.

Lord Jesus, as I meditate on the gift of Christmas I am full of wonder. You are the perfect gift of love from the Father. Your love sets me free. Your love gives power meaning to my life.

A Prayer For Mercy

"We do not make requests of you because we are righteous, but because of your mercy. O Lord, listen! O Lord, forgive! O Lord, hear and act!" This was a prayer of Daniel. Maybe it's because I read these verses on the first day of December that it seemed to me God answered this prayer on Christmas.

Daniel was a prophet who sought the mercy of God. In the Christmas story there is another prophet who was sent to proclaim God's mercy. "And you, child, will be called the prophet of the Most High; for you will go before the Lord to prepare his ways,to give knowledge of salvation to his people in forgiveness of their sins,because of the tender mercy of our God, whereby the sunrise shall visit us from on high to give light to those who sit in darkness and in the shadow of death, to guide our feet into the way of peace." These were the words of Zechariah concerning his son John.

There was darkness the night of Jesus' birth. I know this because the Scriptures teach that the shepherds were out in the field,keeping watch over their flocks by night. I wonder if any of these would have been used as a sacrifice for the sins of the people? A Christmas carol portrayed it this way:"Hark! the herald angels sing, "Glory to the new-born King; Peace on earth, and mercy mild; God and sinner reconciled." This came to pass not because we were righteous but because of God's mercy.

I know many people suffer from depression this time of year. My prayer for them is similar to Zechariah's. I pray that they would become aware of the tender mercies of God. I pray that those who sit in darkness would be visited with the sunrise from on high and be given light. Again using the words of a Christmas carol: All ye, beneath life's crushing load, Whose forms are bending low, Who toil along the climbing way with painful steps and slow, Look now! for glad and golden hours come swiftly on the wing: O rest beside the weary road, and hear the angels sing!

Lord Jesus, truly it was not our righteousness that brought you to be our Savior, it was your tender mercy. My heart sings with the angels. You, O Lord, listened! O Lord, you forgave! You heard and you acted! You are Emmanuel, you are with us! You are Jesus who takes away the sins of the world!
That is Mercy!

What Were the Chances?

When I was younger I often saw my life like a smooth stone cast upon the still waters. I erroneously thought I had control over the number and direction of the ripples that would be formed. Now I stand on the shore watching the ripples cover the face of the water and all illusion of control is gone.

There is great comfort in knowing that the God who loves me is in control. One of the ways I know he is in control is when I ponder the probabilities of the prophecies of Jesus' first coming being fulfilled. The Old Testament, written over a 1,000 year period, contains 300 references to the coming Messiah. All of these were fulfilled in Jesus. One web site I visited said that," By using the modern science of probably in reference to just eight of these prophecies--the chance that any man might have lived to fulfill all eight prophecies is one in one hundred trillion!

To illustrate this: If we take 100 trillion silver dollars and lay them on the face of Texas, they would be two feet deep. Now we mark one of these silver dollars and stir the whole mess thoroughly---all over the state. Now blindfold a man and let him travel as far as he wishes, but he must pick only one silver dollar. What chance would he have of picking the right one? The same chance that the prophets would have of writing just eight of theses prophecies and having them all come true for any one man--if they had written them without God's inspiration!"

What were these prophecies about? They were about a God who loved us so much he that he sent his son to be our Savior. This is the Sovereign God of the Universe who wanted to leave no doubt that this was not done by chance.

Lord Jesus, again and again you tell me not to be afraid. Yet fear comes so naturally to me. I am constantly aware that I am not in control of my life or the lives of those I love. During this Advent season help me to rest in the truth that you have left nothing to chance.

You Did Not Wait For Me To Draw Near To You

This morning I woke up to these words being sung on the radio,"You did not wait for me to draw near to you but you clothed yourself in frail humanity. And I'm forever grateful for you and I'm forever grateful for the cross. I'm forever grateful for you. You came to seek and save the lost." As I prepare myself for Advent I wrap myself in this truth like a warm cloak on a winter's day.

This truth of a love that was initiated not from me but from the heart of God is all through the Scriptures. The book of Jeremiah was written to a rebellious nation. They refused to obey God's precepts they, would not heed His law, they refused to pay attention to the prophets God sent to cause them to repent. God pronounced judgement on them and they were sent into exile to Babylon. Yet, that wasn't the end of the story. In Jeremiah 31:3 it talks about God's everlasting love,"Yea, I have loved thee with an everlasting love: therefore with loving kindness have I drawn thee." Everlasting love that comes to seek and save the lost.

One of my favorite Psalms is Psalm 119. In it I hear the heart of someone who is truly seeking God. "I rejoice in following your statutes as one rejoices in great riches. I meditate on your precepts and consider your ways. I delight in your decrees; I will not neglect your word." My heart echos the rejoicing and delight in the word of God. I also fully identify with the last verse of this Psalm." I have strayed like a lost sheep. Seek your servant, for I have not forgotten your commands." My relationship with God is not because I have a tight grip on him but because he has loved me with a love that doesn't let go.

Sometimes when I come to God in prayer for the ones I love my heart is heavy. I see hopeless situations. I see people who seem to be straying so far from God and I see no chance that they can ever find their way back. Then I am remind of the words of Jesus. "If a man has a hundred sheep and one of them has gone astray, does he not leave the ninety-nine on the mountains and go in search of the one that went astray?"Matthew 18:10-14 Who is seeking whom? It is not the lost sheep that is seeking the shepherd. It is the shepherd that seeking the sheep. If that shepherd is also the Sovereign Lord of the Universe I can trust he is able to find what he looks for.

Lord Jesus, as I think about how you fulfilled all your promises to be our Savoir by coming to earth in frail humanity I am forever grateful. Thank you for not waiting for me to come near to you. Thank you for coming to seek and save the lost.