The year was 1988 I was expecting a baby Christmas week. As I thought about getting into the car for a forty five minute drive to church I groaned. That was when I began to imagined a conversation between Mary and God. This is what came to mind:
Go to Bethlehem, what is he talking about Lord! I'm about to have a baby. Everything seems so confusing it's not at all like I had planned. Yet the message You have given me again and again through these nine months has remained the same. You have said,"As you go, step by step, I will open the way before you."
O Lord, it was such a short time ago I heard your angle telling me that I was most blessed among women because I had been chosen to be the mother of the Son of God. I knew from that moment on my life would never be the same but I could not fathom at that time the changes that were to come.
When I first told my family I thought they would share my joy but instead it was shame I read on their faces. They didn't understand it was the Son of God I was carrying within me. I cried out to You in prayer and heard Your gentle reply.
"Child of my love, fear not the unknown morrow. Dread not the new demand life makes of you. Your ignorance holds no cause for sorrow, since what you do not know is known to Me."
With Your words of assurance I went to my cousin Elisabeth's. At last I found someone who understood the miracle that was taking place within me. Oh the joy of praising You together for what You had done in each of our lives.
I wanted to stay Elisabeth but the time came when I had to go back to Nazareth. Would they understand now that the child within me was from God? I cried out to You for direction, I did not understand all that happening to me. You didn't explain but Your answer sustained me.
"Child, you do not see today the hidden meaning of my command, but you will gain light. You must walk on in faith leaning on my promises. You can only see one step now that is far enough for faith to see. Take that step and you next duty will be shown you. It is step by step that I am leading you."
But Lord, I was so sure that even if all my family had misunderstood surely Joseph would know I was carrying Your child. It was shortly after my return home that heard Joseph was planning to put me away quietly. Oh how I cried that night to You. Thinking I was all alone with such a large task ahead of me. It was during that long night I heard Your encouraging words.
"My child, do not stand in fear counting your adversaries. You must dare every peril except to disobey. You will march on all obstacles surmounting. For I, the Strong, will open up the way."
How overjoyed I was to find the next morning that You had revealed to Joseph that this baby was from God. The wonder and the joy that Joseph and I have shared knowing that we are part of Your plan has filled me with delight. Now I knew everything was going to be okay. Except--- expect now the word has come that we must go to Bethlehem. How can I travel so far feeling the way I do? Where will this child, Your son, be born? Once again I hear Your voice.
"My daughter, go gladly to the task I have assigned you. Having My promise, needing nothing more, than just to know, wherever the future finds you. In all your journeys I go before."
It was twenty three years ago that I wrote this. Life as been full of unexpected twists and some heartbreaking turns. Yet I still find it true that following God requires faith to believe that He is leading me step by step. I have the same assurance that Mary had that wherever the future finds me in all my journeying He has gone before.
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