Find The Dove

There is a game that I used to play with my children it is called “Find the hidden object.” Hidden within the picture were several objects as we found them we would check them off the list. I have been playing a similar game lately. I call it “Find the Dove.” I am looking daily for the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit is like the wind. I cannot see the wind but I see the effects of it and so it is with the Holy Spirit.

To “Find the Dove” I must look for more than I can see. When I looked with eyes of flesh I saw someone who was old and bent with age. Their windows to the world were dimmed and the sound of singing birds was not heard. Often as the world goes hurrying on they were forgotten. Yet in them I “Find the Dove.” As I sought to minister to this weakened vessel I found within her, “love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self control” I smiled and said, “Ah yes, I found the dove.”

Over sixty years ago they made a promise to each other. They were young when they looked into each others eyes and vowed that from that day forward ,for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health they would love each other and cherish each other. Sixty years is a long time to keep a promise like that but it has been more than sixty years and they continue to look lovingly at one another and say, “I still do.” Ah yes, I found the dove!

I was inadequate for the job. My heart wanted to do so much but I was lacking. Through out the week I have been surrounded by others who have have made up for what I couldn't do. They have come to give their time, to lend a hand, to clean, to cook, to sing. I have heard the sound of mighty wings. Ah yes, I found the dove!

Lord Jesus, You promised that You would send the Holy Spirit. So often my eyes are blinded by the things I look at. Please open the eyes of my heart so that I can see the Dove today.

With My Knee Bent And My Heart Lifted

There is something I learned to do as a little girl that I don't think my granddaughters have been taught to do. When I was a little girl I learned to genuflect. I learned to genuflect when I entered the church and saw the lamp flickering that represented the presence of God. My heart would swell with a since of awe as I bent my knee to the ground in worship and as a sign of respect.

When I was a child my world was loud but there was no talking at church. When I would walk into the church it was as if I were walking into another world, the silence, the candle to remind me of God's presence, and the genuflecting all prepared me for a Holy encounter with God. Lately, I have been thinking about how I come into the presence of a Holy God today.

Sometimes when I pray I kneel. I think about who God is, I think about who I am. I feel like I should begin every prayer with, “Oh God, I am so sorry!” In the presence of a Holy God I see my sins so clearly. Then I think about how Jesus taught His disciples to pray, “When you pray say Father.”

When I think about calling the God of the Universe “Father” once more my heart swells with a since of awe and wonder. My inclination is to come before Him with my head bent low but because He invites me to call Him “Father” with a gentle hand He lifts my head to behold His eyes of love. I am invited not to focus on my unworthiness but on His love.

Father, how great is this love You have lavished on me, that I should be called a child of God! Help me today to live my life in a way that will bring Your honor. Your great love humbles my heart and fills it at the same time with the wonder of Your love.   

There Is A Place Of Welcome

There is a place of welcome. When I feel lost, cold and afraid there is a place of welcome. When I am tired and the questions I can't answer seem to be screaming in my head there is a place of quiet rest, there is a place of welcome. When my heart is hurting for myself and those I love there is a place of sweet comfort, there is a place of welcome. There is place where I am safe a place of full release, there is a place of welcome.

She needed a place of welcome. She sat weeping by the well she was alone, well not really alone. She was pregnant. She had been rejected and sent away. She could see nothing through her tears but that was when she received her welcome. She didn't go to Him. He came to her. He came to her with comfort, direction and the promise of His blessing. She had felt invisible in her pain, unwanted, unseen,

uncared for. He showed her she was wrong. After her encounter she named Him “The God who really sees.” Her name was Hagar.

She needed a place of welcome. She didn't understand, she thought she'd understood but she didn't. She thought He loved her that He would come to her in her darkest hour but He didn't. She had asked Him to come. She had waited for Him to come, looking, longing through the dark nights, until it was too late. Her brother died. He was buried and all that left were the memories and the question, “Why didn't He come?” But He did come. He came with the promise of resurrection. There was welcome, there was joy, there was hope, there was promise. Her name was Martha.

He needed a place of welcome. He thought he was better than he was but he had failed. When he had been needed most he had not been there. He had always seen himself as a strong man one on whom others could lean but when he had been put to the test he wavered and hid in the shadows. He heard the cry of pain but did not go the his friend's rescue. He was lost in his since of unworthiness, that's where Jesus found him. Jesus welcomed him, forgave him, restored him to a position of leadership. His name was Peter.

Lord Jesus, You are the door that leads to the place of welcome. The place of welcome where we find a quiet rest. The place of welcome where there is sweet comfort. The place of welcome where our heart at last finds full release. Lord Jesus, You are the door through which we find welcome near to the heart of God.

Essence

One of the definition for the word essence is the real or ultimate nature of a thing. When making perfume you find the essence of the flower by crushing the pedals and adding oil. I think the essence of the human heart is often known when the circumstance are crushing and the tears flow freely. But what about the oil that is added? In the Bible oil is often regarded as a symbol of the Person and ministry of the Holy Spirit.

Sometimes in the night I find myself unable to sleep. The person I thought I was collides with the person I see exposed by the struggles of the day and the tears flow freely. It is during nights like these that my real and ultimate nature is exposed. It is during nights like this I call out for God to be gracious to me. As I seek to praise the Lord through the watches of the night longing to trust the God I do not see I find my soul anointed by the oil of His Spirit

“You have kept count of my tossing; put my tears in your bottle.” Psalm 56:8 When I read this verse I thought about the making of perfume. This Psalm begins with David calling on God because, “my enemies trample on me all day long” This trampling caused David's heart to cry out for someone who was bigger than he was. “This I know, that God is for me. In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I shall not be afraid.” It is only when you add the oil of the presence of God to the crushing circumstances of life that perfume is made.

Isn't this the picture of redemption where God enters into our suffering and takes our grief and puts in its place joy? Who but God could take the essence of human suffering by bottling our tear and create a sweet aroma with it? Without this oil of the presence of God the crushing simply produces suffering and the trampling simply produces grief.

Lord Jesus, You shared our grief and carried our sorrows. Your tears mingled with the tears of mankind. Because of You the tears that represent the essence of our human suffering have been redeemed.  

"Not A Mumbling Word"

“Do you really think you can do that?,” my daughter asked incredulously. To be honest I wasn't really sure myself. Was it possible for me to go through this difficult season of my life without saying a mumbling grumbling word? I got the idea when I heard the old Spiritual, “He Never Said A Mumbling Word.” As I listened to the song being beautifully sung I could almost see Jesus standing before Pilate silent like a lamb before it's shearers.

“He was oppressed, and he was afflicted, yet he opened not his mouth; like a lamb that is led to the slaughter, and like a sheep that before its shearers is silent, so he opened not his mouth.” Isaiah 53:7 Why was Jesus silent when He stood before His accusers? Why was the Son of God on trail in the first place? It all started in the Garden when Adam and Eve rebelled against the love of God and decided they would be their own god. That's when death first made it's entrance onto the scene, that's also when the promise of love was made. Sin and rebellion brought with it death, love promised a Savior and life. This life was given in surrendered silence.

The Children of Israel cried out because of their slavery in Egypt and with a strong hand and an outstretched arm God set them free from their oppressors. God led them through the wilderness to show them that they could trust Him to teach them He was able to provide for all their need to bring not only rest for their bodies in the Promised Land but rest for their souls in His love. How did they respond? They mumbled and grumbled in rebellion against God's will for them. They fought against what they could not see, they rebelled against the One who led them. With their mumbling grumbling words they rebelled against the God of love who had come to set them free.

“They all cried, “Crucify Him”...”They nailed Him to the tree”... “They pierced him in the side”...”He hung His head and died” After each of these statements the choir sang, “not a word, not a word, not a word.” Finally the song ends with,”He never said a mumbling word.” Jesus was the promise of love made in the Garden. He came to set me free from the slavery of rebellion and sin. He came in silence because He came willingly. He came in silence because He came in love. He did not rebel against the price He had to pay to purchase my freedom.

Lord Jesus, I am so much more like the Children of Israel than like You. My mouth is often filled with mumbling and grumbling words, words of rebellion against situations I find myself in, words of rebellion against the God who led me here. Forgive me because for doubting Your love. Forgive me for longing for the comfort of Egypt instead of silently learning to rest in Your love. Thank You for Your promise that if I ask anything according to Your will You will give me what I ask. Lord Jesus, I ask that You would change my heart and make it more like Yours so that I can face my life without a mumbling grumbling word.

The Power Of A Mindset

Last night I read about a woman named Lori Schneider. She was fifty-two years old when she climbed Mount Everest. That in it's self is an amazing feat but there is more to the story she had MS. Multiple sclerosis is a baffling autoimmune disorder that attacks the central nervous system and can lead to paralysis, vision loss, dementia, and death. So how could someone with MS climb Mount Everest? As I read her story I discovered her secret it was her mindset. “I stopped thinking of myself as a victim of MS,' Lori said,'I was a person with MS, a person first. The disease was not me.”

All day I had been meditating on Romans 8:6 “To set the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace.” I was intrigued by the power of a mindset so I looked up the Greek word for mind and found the word phronema. It means, “The innermost, personal level of opinion; the inner perspective as it determines, regulating outward behavior,especially as it bears on the outward results” One mindset leads to death the other to life and peace.

As I read through the whole chapter I understand better why a mind that is set on the flesh is death. Having a mind set on the flesh comes from a life that is being lived according to the flesh. The chapter goes onto say that, “the mind that is set on the flesh is hostile to God.” So if I live my life according to my basic carnal desires then not only do I have a fleshly mindset but I also have a mind that is alien to God. The trajectory of a mind like this is death.

Lori was able to climb Mount Everest when she stopped thinking of herself as a victim of MS. She had to see herself not as the disease but as a person. MS creates a battlefield in the body. I often have a battlefield in my mind. “For I delight in the law of God, in my inner being, but I see in my members another law wagging war against the law of my mind ...” I can have my mind set on the Spirit because the Spirit of life set me free in Christ Jesus. I recognize I am weak but my weakness does not define me my relationship to the Spirit of Life defines me.

Lord Jesus thank You for people like Lori who help me understand that I don't have to be limited by my flesh. Thank You because when I can't change my mind the Spirit himself intercedes for me with groaning too deep for words. “And he who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit.” 

"Would You Like To Experience A Miracle?"

His eyes flashed with anger, “I will never forgive him.” It was a strong and powerful statement for a little boy not yet ten to make but I knew he meant it. I respected his anger because I respected the pain that had caused it. You don't have to be an adult to know deep sorrow and hurt. As I sat on his bed I first listened to him as he poured out the grief that was in his soul and then I asked him, “Would you like to experience a miracle?”

We looked at each other in silence for a while. He knew I was offering him a light to help him find his way out of the dark place of hurt and pain. His face softened a warm glow replaced the hot embers of hatred I had seen earlier. He took a deep breath then let it out in a long slow sigh as he said, “Yes.” “You have been hurt and wounded and it wasn't your fault,' I said, 'but, you don't have to carry that heavy load of hate. I know someone who will carry it away for you and leave love in it's place.” That was the night I told him about the miracle of forgiveness.

I didn't reprimand him for his anger because I understood it. I also understood that although throughout the Scriptures we are told to forgive it isn't something that has ever come naturally to me. In fact I believe that one of the greatest challenges to human nature is God's command to forgive. That is why I believe that when I am put into a position where I need to forgive someone God has also lined me up to be able to experience a miracle. This is when I come to God in prayer and say, “I want to obey You and be forgiving but it is creating a war in my heart. Lord, I am desperate for You. Please come to my aid. Take away my fleshly desire to hold a grudge and to hurt the one who has hurt me. Take away the bitterness in my soul. Please grant me the miracle of a forgiving heart. Do divine surgery in my soul and replace with love where now there is only anger and hate.”

What I have found in this mandate to forgive is an invitation from God to humble myself before Him and through a divine encounter with His Holy Spirit to have my human nature transformed. I have never experienced the need to forgive someone without first experiencing the humbling of my own heart. With the offense comes the Pride rising up in me with the declaration, “You will not treat me this way! I will make you sorry, I will make you pay!” My eyes flash with anger as my heart says, “I will never forgive!” Suddenly I am aware of a loving presence and I hear Jesus' invitation. “Would you like to experience a miracle?” Only then do I remember all that I have been forgiven of and I bow before Him and pray, “Lord, please do for me what I can't do for myself.” That's when the burden is lifted and the fire is quenched. I take a deep breath and let out a long slow sigh as the burden of an unforgiving spirit is replaces by the presence of Love incarnate.

Lord Jesus, You have taught me what is like to be forgiven. You have redeemed my life, forgiven all my iniquities and healed the disease of my heart by crowning my life with Your steadfast love and mercy. Because You have been merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love my sins have been removed as far as the East is from the West, yet this was not the end of your mercies. You have invited me share in Your nature by inviting me to experience the miracle of not only being forgiven but to be forgiving. Help me to share this miracle with others so they to can know this divine encounter with Your Holy Spirit.

Finding The Way In The Maze

In the Fall when the corn stalks "look like they're climbing clear up to the sky" there are several places that invite you to try to find your way through the "Maze."  In a "Maze" a path has been cut through the tall stalks of corn. There is a starting point and an ending point and plenty of places to get lost in the middle. There are times in life when it feels like I am walking through a "Maze."

In the middle of the "Maze" sometimes the path splits. One way will lead your toward your goal the other will cause you to walk in circles. Often when I have made the wrong choice a since of panic grips me and I wonder if I will ever be able to find my way out. Usually about that point someone comes along who has a map and together we figure out the direction that leads us to our destination.

The reason it's so easy to get lost in a "Maze" is that all I can see are the tall stalks of corn that surround me everything else is blocked from view. Because I'm not omniscient sometimes all I can see are the facts that surround me and without unlimited knowledge I get confused about with way to go. I do, however, have access to the One who is omniscient and when I call out to Him in prayer I hear, "I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you and watch over you." Psalms 32:8

The thought that God is watching over me is very comforting. It's comforting because I believe He loves me and even though my path is hidden from me it isn't hidden from Him. A promise in His word is that He makes the simple wise as He teaches them the way they should go. In the midst of my confusion I can call out to Him and I find counsel from the Wonderful Counselor.

Lord Jesus, as I find my way on this often confusing path thank You that I can put my hand in Your scared hand and be reminded of Your unfailing love. My hope and my confidence are in Your love as You teach and counsel me along the way.

The Composition Of A Life

Tomorrow is my birthday and as I look back over the years it seems to me that my life has been like a musical composition. Sometimes the music has been light, sometimes it has been written in minor keys and sometimes it has been written with dissonant chords. Sometimes I wonder what this composition will sound like when it is finished.

I recently read about Johann Sebastian Bach. At the beginning of most of his compositions Bach wrote the abbreviation JJ for the Latin phrase Jesu juva, which means "Jesus help," and ended with SDG(Soli Deo Gloria), which is Latin for "To God Alone the Glory." I want to write that on the composition of my life. For the beginning of each movement I want to write "Jesus help," when the the music of my life fades away I want to be able to say "To God Alone the Glory."

I read that Bach wrote each note as though God Himself was scrutinizing every musical bar and phrase. I think that is a good way to live my life as well. Letting the music of my life play before the courts of Heaven for an audience of one.

One of Bach's most acclaimed works is The Passion According to St. Matthew, which has been called one of the greatest choral works ever written was only played once while Bach was alive. It wasn't received well at all. One hundred years later Felix Mendelssohn obtained a copy and performed it using the original score. It was met with appreciation and love that has only grown with time. I think that if you begin your work with "Jesus help" and end it with "To God Alone the Glory" you don't need to worry about being "successful."

Lord Jesus, as I live my life before You as a musical composition I ask for Your help. I cannot hear the music clearly from where I am but my prayer is that You will scrutinize every musical bar and phrase. Please Lord, let it be that as the last cords fade away into silence it can be said "To God Alone the Glory."

Tell Me Again That You Love Me

Perhaps it began because the house was so full. There were fourteen of us at one time all living together as a family. Fourteen stories being told, sometimes being shouted, trying to be heard. Sometimes I would feel lost in all the confusion but that was when it began. I would wake up early and find a quiet place to be with God and then I'd make my request. “Tell me again that You love me.” I opened His book I'd read His word then I opened my heart and received the gift of grace. Peace always followed.

There have been seasons of great pressure. Deadlines I didn't think I could meet. More was asked of me than I thought I was able to give. Life seemed rushing towards me at a frenzied pace. I didn't feel I had time to breathe. But early in the morning I would wake and slip away and find a quiet place and then I'd make my request. “Tell me again that You love me.” I opened His book I'd read His word then I opened my heart and received the gift of grace. Peace like a calming breeze followed.

I walked in the woods and found the place. I closed my eyes and remembered. Twenty five years ago I had stood there weeping before a mound of freshly dug earth. My heart was touched again with the exquisite pain of seeing my baby's coffin covered by dirt. I stood there now as I had then and made my request. “Tell me again that You love me.” I remembered His word then I opened my heart and received the gift of grace. Peace like a gentle presence followed.

I sit with her. Her eyes are dim her hearing dull. Few are left who share the memories of her childhood. Her memory of the past is clearer than that of the present. Her feeble frame sits lightly in the chair. With a voices etched with time she makes her request. “Tell me again about His love for me.” I open His book, I read His word. Her face softens as she once more opens her heart and receives again the gift of grace. Her eyes are closed but I can see that peace, as always, has followed.

Lord Jesus, I come today as I do every day. I open Your Word and make my request. “Tell me again that You love me.” In the quiet comfort of Your presence I open again my heart to You to receive this gift of grace. I feel again Your peace that passes all understanding. It has once again followed.

Different Route Same Destination

I have always loved hearing people's testimonies. What was it that finally broke them, what finally showed them they needed a Savior? Often it seemed it was some great sin or the consequences of that sin that brought them weeping before the cross of Jesus. For me, however, it looked like a different route, the destination was the same only the route looked different.

From my earliest memories I have wanted to be good. I wanted to follow the rules. I memorized John 3:16 when I was a little girl so that I could get a sticker. “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.” I got my sticker but that verse really bothered me. It bothered me because I didn't just want to be good I wanted to be good enough for God. This verse wasn't about my loving God it was about God's loving me, it wasn't about what I did for God it was about what God had done for me and I was bothered by it.

What finally broke me? What finally showed me my need for a Savior? It was my sin and the consequences of my sin that brought me weeping before the cross of Jesus. My sin was my pride, I didn't want to need a Savior I wanted to be the Savior. Time and time again I would attempt to do great things “for God” only to find my heart exposed. What was exposed was a lack of compassion, kindness, humility, meekness,and patience. I was miserable the only thing my “good deeds” produced was a revelation that I wasn't as good as I thought I was.

At first,I was unaware of my need, I was unaware that I had been using the Bible as a guideline of how I could be good enough for God. Then I came face to face with the Biblical definition of love in 1 Corinthians 13. From the very first part of the definition I felt condemned. “Love is patient and kind.” I wasn't patient or kind not even with the people I should be loving the most, my husband and my children. The chapter begins by saying, “If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I have and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing.” I finally saw myself, a noisy gong a clanging cymbal, someone who was nothing and had gained nothing by all my good deeds. I found myself weeping at the foot of the cross.

Lord Jesus, thank You for not giving up on me! Thank You for showing me what love really is,”God is love.” “In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins.” 1 John 4: 10 The reality of who You are and what You've done for me because You love me brings me to the foot of the cross.

"Trees" and "Iron Chariots"

There is a story in the Bible that matches a struggle I often have. It was when the people of Joseph came to Joshua with the question about their inheritance. God had blessed them, He had graciously given them an allotment in the Promised Land. The problem was that were obstacles to overcome before they could lay claim to what had been given them. I believe that I am a Christian by the grace of God yet I struggle sometimes to take hold of the promises given to me.

Joshua told them to go up into the forest and clear land for themselves. Then the people of Joseph complained about the Canaanites who lived in the plain and had chariots. Joshua responded, “You are numerous and very powerful. You will not only have one allotment but the forested hill country as well, clear it, and it's farthest limits will be yours; though the Canaanites have iron chariots and though they are strong, you can drive them out.” Joshua: 17: 14-18 God had given them the land but they were responsible to take possession of it by faith.

I think the struggle I have with my flesh is like the “trees” that the people of Joseph complained about. The trees kept them from being able to fully utilize the land they had been given. They complained about the trees, Joshua told them to remove them. I complain about my struggle with my flesh but I find in the Scriptures the admonition to do something about it. “Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, humility, meekness, and patience, baring with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony.” Colossians 3:12-14 They were to by faith use the gifts God had given them and clear out the trees. I am to use by faith what God has given me to overcome my flesh.

There weren't just trees on the land there were iron chariots. I think my “iron chariot” is the fact that there is spiritual warfare going on. “For our struggle is not against flesh and blood but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.” Ephesians 6:12 Joshua told the people that though there were iron chariots in the land and their enemy was strong still they and could drive them out. In a similar way I find in Ephesians,”Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his might. Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil.”

Lord Jesus, in You I lack nothing but sometimes I can't see that because of all these “trees” and “iron chariots”. Please help me by faith to take hold of the grace You have provided for me. Help me not to live my christian life in a cramped way because I'm more focused on the “trees” and “iron chariots” than I am on the gifts You've given me.

Remembering That I Am A Sojourner And A Guest

Sometimes I forget this truth, and when I do it's like trying to put a puzzle together without all the pieces. I get angry, frustrated, and discouraged if I try to put a puzzle together without all the pieces. And I get angry, frustrated, and discouraged when I forget that I am an alien, stranger and a sojourner on this earth. If I have the understanding that I am a sojourner and a guest and not a permanent resident then things make more since to me.

“I am a sojourner on the earth; hide not your commandments from me!” Psalm 119:19 Because I am a sojourner, I need God to give me directions! I often loose my way and become confused. Sometimes I get so confused that I think this is my permanent residence . I think this is my permanent home, and yet my heart is filled with a sense that something is missing. When I read God's Word, it's as if I'm looking at the picture that the puzzle is supposed to look like. When I compare the “home” I see described in Scripture to the “home” I have on earth I realize that I am a stranger here.

One piece of the puzzle that I often forget is that I am not only a sojourner but a guest. “For I am a sojourner with you, a guest, like all my fathers.” (Psalm 39:12) When my daughter was two, a friend came to visit. She brought with her her two-year-old daughter. Faith was worried that the little girl would take her toys. I assured her that the little girl would understand that they didn't belong to her because she was the guest. I was wrong. The first thing the child did was to walk into my daughter's room and lay claim to every thing she saw. I am a lot like that little girl. I forget I am a guest and only God is the true owner.

When I find myself staring at this puzzling life, filled with angry frustration, there is only one remedy. I cry out with the psalmist, “I am a sojourner on the earth; hide not your commandments from me!” When I do this He opens my eyes by faith so that I can see the missing pieces. He does for me what He did for the heroes of faith listed in Hebrews 11. “They did not receive the things promised; they only saw them and welcomed them from a distance. And they admitted that they were aliens and strangers on earth.”

Lord Jesus, please help me to remember that I am not home yet. Please help me not to grasp the things of this earth with greedy fingers. Remind me again that I am a guest. You promised that You were preparing a place for me and that You would someday come again and take me home to be with You. Until then, show me how to walk by faith in obedience to Your commands as a sojourner and a guest.

With a Strong Hand And An Out Stretched Arm

A sheep that has rolled over onto it's back and is unable to right it's self is a “downcast “ sheep. In this position a sheep is very vulnerable and doomed to death either by predators or dehydration if left alone. Shepherds search for sheep in this position and when they find them they put them back on their feet. If they are too weak to stand the shepherd will carry the sheep until it regains it's strength. I know what it feels like to be “downcast.” Sometimes I just can't seem to right myself and I find myself calling our for help.

When I call out for help God responds, “with a strong hand and an outstretched arm, for his steadfast love endures forever.” Psalms 136:12 Another word for steadfast is unfailing. I am so grateful for his steadfast and unfailing love and that he responds to my weakness with a strong hand and and outstretched arm instead of by saying, “Get up on your own! I can't believes you can't get this right after all this time!”

I was at work the other day and the verse on the calendar read, “Ah, Lord God! It is you who has made the heavens and the earth by your great power and by your outstretched arm! Nothing is too hard for you.” Jeremiah 32:17 What a comfort it is to me to think that this same great power and outstretched arm that made the heavens and the earth is outstretched to me. When life seems to hard for me I need to close my eyes and see this picture of steadfast love reaching out in my direction.

Sometimes when I am in this vulnerable downcast position I feel like the predators are about to come in for the kill. In times like this I am grateful that I have a shepherd. I am so grateful for the pictures I get in the Scriptures that give me a divine perspective of what is going on. “Their own arm did not save them, but your right hand and your arm, and the light of your face, for you delighted in them.” When I am vulnerable and weak and find you coming to my rescue. It is not out of duty that you come but out of love.

Lord Jesus, I would choose to always be strong but I am not. Thank You for finding me when I have lost my way. Thank You for Your strong outstretched arm that comes to my defense. I am so grateful that nothing is to hard for You but I am even more grateful for You unfailing love.  

The Potentate Of Time

I didn't want to be late for work so I kept checking the time. When I realized the time was drawing near for me to leave I put my cell phone on the table to help me keep track of the time. I gave myself a full hour to get to work even though I knew it was only a forty five minute drive. When I got to work my boss pointed out that I was an hour late. My phone had switched time zones. It had the strangest effect on me. I almost felt dizzy, as if I had been time traveling.

The Sunday following this event we sang “Crown Him With Many Crowns” the last verse of the song says, “Crown Him the Lord of years, the Potentate of time.” I was fascinated by the idea of God being the Lord of the years and the Potentate of time. So what does Potentate mean? It means one who has supreme power and position to rule over others. God is eternal and time is a tool in His hand but how does that effect my life?

Daniel was a godly man who lived his life in the confines of time. He lived during the time of the Babylonia captivity. God, who is not bound by time, showed Daniel through many vision and mysteries things that were to take place in the future. The first time this happened Daniel responded, “Praise be to the name of God for ever and ever; wisdom and power are his. He changes times and seasons; he sets up kings and deposes them. He gives wisdom to the wise and knowledge to the discerning.” Daniel 2:20 In Daniel I find a man who was bold and brave because although he was bond by time the God he served was not.

“As I looked, thrones were set in place, and the Ancient of Days took his seat.” Daniel 7:9 Daniel saw this picture of God as the Ancient of Days in the same dream that he received night vision from God showing him the scope and sequence of Kingdoms and Empires that were to rise and fall throughout the course of history. Again, I ask the question, how does this effect my life?

Lord Jesus, it is in You that I find understanding because though I am a prisoner of time you are not, yet You entered time and set me free. “In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was with God in the beginning...The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us.” John 1 Thank You, Lord Jesus for though You were the Creator You entered time and became my Redeemer.

A Calm And Stress Free Life?!?

She stood behind me talking on the phone. I'm sure she didn't mean to be talking so loudly but still I heard every word of her part of the conversation. “You know I can't handle any stress. I need for my life to be calm.” All I could think of were the words of Job 5:7 “Yet man is born to trouble as the sparks fly upward”

Not long ago I was asked to speak at a church, the topic they gave me to speak on was “How to keep your balance in an unbalanced world.” I smiled when I heard what they wanted me to speak about not because I'm so totally balanced but because I so desperately want to be. Like the young woman on the phone I too would like to proclaim, “You know I can't handle any stress. I need for my life to be calm.”

I read in 1 Peter 3:4 that a gentle and quiet spirit is precious in the sight of God. I think having this kind of spirit might be the answer to the question about how to have a balanced life. Now I have to ask myself, “How do I develop a gentle and quiet spirit?” The fact that life is both stressful and lacking in calm is not conducive to gentleness or quietness.

What does “quiet” mean anyway? I did a little research and found words like tranquil and still. I am not by nature tranquil or still and my life is full of stress, so how can someone like me living the life I'm living develop this quiet spirit? In my mind's eye I saw a pastoral setting and thought about the words to the twenty third Psalm, “The Lord is my shepherd I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he restores my soul.” Sheep are animals of prey and because of this they are very fearful. They have real enemies and the only way they can be at rest, tranquil or quiet is to have a good shepherd. Only when they have a relationship with the shepherd can they lie down, rest, drink at the still waters, and find their soul restored.

Lord Jesus, my world is not balanced. I often find myself stressed out and fearful but in You I find peace. You are my balance, You are my tranquility, You are my resting place. You are my shepherd.

How I Relate To God's Will

In Sunday School we were talking about how we related to God's will. The teacher spoke about dealing with the will of God on three levels. The first was acceptance, the second was surrender and the third was contentment. I thought about my relationship to the will of God. I think in pictures so this was what I saw. When I recognized God's will I accepted it like an assignment.

I saw acceptance like a high ladder that I was to climb. Once I had climbed the ladder I was on the high dive. Surrender meant walking to the edge of the plank and looking down into a small pool of water and then diving headlong into it. But that was as far as I could go with my mental picture. I could not see contentment, I tried but I couldn't. The reason I couldn't see a mental picture of contentment was because I wasn't experiencing it. I felt like I was accepting and surrendering to God's will but I wasn't content.

One thing I learned long ago was that when I don't have the answers to my questions I need to ask. So I began asking God in prayer to show me how to be content with His will. My lack of contentment made me so miserable that I also began seeking the answer. When my children were little and I would be in my room and they needed me they would knock persistently on my bedroom door because they knew I would  respond to their need. In this same way I was asking, seeking, and knocking because I knew my Heavenly Father had the answer and would give it to me. What does it look like to be content with the will of God?

This is the understanding I have come to about the will of God. Before accepting, or surrendering, or finding contentment in His will I need to identify it. I believe that the will of God and the love of God are inseparable. “I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with loving-kindness.” Jeremiah 31:1 My first picture of dealing with God's will looked more like a slave obeying orders. When I began to see His will as His love the picture changed to that of a bride receiving the love of her groom.

Lord Jesus, I want to accept Your love and believe the words of love I find in Your word. I want to surrender to Your love as a bride surrenders to her beloved. I want to find all my contentment and my identity in Your love for me. “The LORD will fulfill his purpose for me; your love, O LORD, endures forever...” Psalm 138:8

If My Life Was A Song

My friend and I were eating breakfast together when she shared this idea with me. She said, “If your life was a song what would the lyrics be?” I guess if I was really creative I might write my own song but instead I started thinking about the hymns that I have sung during different chapters of my life. For instance as a teenager I would always sing:

I'd rather have Jesus than silver or gold;

I'd rather be His than have riches untold;

I'd rather have Jesus than houses or lands;

I's rather be led by His nail-pieced hand

Then there came a dark period in my life. I felt very afraid and I couldn't see past the pain and confusion and I would sing:

But “I know Whom I have believed,

And am persuaded that He is able

To keep that which I've committed

Unto Him against that day.”

When my husband and I married we would sing the words to the song “Are Ye Able,” Said the Master.

“Are ye able,” said the Master,

“To be crucified with Me?”

“Yea,” the sturdy dreamers answered,

“To the death we follow Thee”

(I think I can say the phrase “Sturdy dreamer” could easily have described me.)

“Lord, we are able” our spirits are Thine;

Remold them make us like Thee, divine.

Thy guiding radiance above us shall be

A beacon to God, to love and loyalty.

From my earliest memories I have struggled from bouts of depression. I've had seven pregnancies and have been blessed with four children. Still, when I lost the other three I sang in the night:

You are my hiding place

You always fill my heart

With songs of deliverance

Whenever I am afraid

I will trust in You

Lord Jesus, I sing my songs to You because I can come just as I am. Thank You, that I don't have to wait till I have rid myself of sin before I sing my songs to You. It was You who cleansed me by Your blood.

Just as I am, though tossed about

with many a conflict, many a doubt,

fighting and fears within, without,

O Lamb of God, I come, I come.

A Lesson Learned

I was seven years old when my mother had her ninth child. My oldest brother was ten. It would not be an understatement to say that my mother had her hands full. Something else happened when I was seven years old. That was the year I learned a very important lesson about love.

I was in the second grade and that was the year I was supposed to learn to read, but I didn't. My teacher had a huge class and no one to assist her and if that wasn't bad enough she had me for a student. It wasn't that I didn't try, I tried, I really did, but I still couldn't seem to learn to read. I became a target for her frustration. All through the day she would call attention to the fact that I was failing to read, or spell, which meant I wasn't doing well at writing either. Sometimes I would forget to be on my guard and I would suck my fingers in an effort to find comfort. That never worked very well because then she would have the class look at me and that brought no comfort only more ridicule.

Some people have asked me, “Where was your mother?” My mother was at home with a new baby and a two year and a three year old and a four year old, need I say more. Not only that but it never occurred to me to even tell my mother what was going on. I was only seven and this was only my second year in school I thought this was just the way life was. It was my teacher who called Mother. She just couldn't take my ignorance any longer!

I remember sitting in the hallway when my mother was talking to the teacher. I was swinging my feet because they didn't touch the floor and, yes, I was sucking my fingers. When Mother came out of the office her face was very sad. She was silent for a long time. Finally, Mother looked at me and began to speak. “Sarah, I want you to pay very close attention to what I am about to say.” I leaned a little closer to my mother. “Sarah, I know you want everyone to like you and you try really hard to make that happen.” I shook my head, yes. “Your teacher doesn't like you and it's not your fault and you can't make her like you.” This information set me free but the next thing she said gave me an anchor. “Although your teacher doesn't like you, I love you. Nothing you do will ever make me love you more. Nothing you do will ever make me love you less. My love for you isn't based on your performance.”

Dear Heavenly Father, thank You for giving my mother the wisdom and the words she needed. She did what she could and it was enough. Thank You for giving me a mother who showed me what Your love looks like. “How great is the love the Father lavished on us, that we should be called children of God!” 1 John 3:1 And to think I did nothing to deserve that lavish love.

The Spinning Has A Purpose

Have you ever felt dizzy, like you were spinning round and round and round? Have you ever felt like you were not only spinning round and round but that some outside force was applying pressure on you while you were spinning? Me too, I don't think it's our imagination. “But now, O LORD, you are our Father; we are the clay, and you are our potter; we are all the work of your hand.” Isiah 64:8 So round and round we go while we are being shaped by the hands of the potter.

So here I am a lump of clay spinning round and round and if I only focus on that it is a very blurry picture. The fact is that this is often how it seems to me, blurry. I am grateful for the perspective I gain in Isiah without this perspective I would feel my life was simply spinning out of control. However, seeing myself on the potters wheel give me a completely different picture. The spinning of a potter's wheel is controlled by the potter. The pressure applied by the potters skilled hand is for a purpose. I, as the lump of clay, can only feel the pressure and the dizzying whirl of the wheel but it is not what I feel that determines what this process produces. In end product comes from the potters mind.

Who is this potter? First, Isiah calls him LORD. This word means master or owner that would give him permission to do with the clay whatever he wanted. That would give him permission but that is not as comforting to me as the next name, Father. Knowing that my Heavenly Father's foot is controlling the spin and His hand is responsible for the pressure gives me comfort. I have children. While I was raising them I often brought pressure to bare upon them. My love for them caused me to be actively involved in their life.

Sometimes my children would rebel against the pressure I was placing on them. However, I loved them far to much to simply give up and walk away. This is the same picture I see when God told Jeremiah to go to the potter's house and watch. The clay was spoiled in the potter's hand. He didn't throw the clay away he reworked it into another vessel, as it seemed good to the potter to do. What a comfort to me to know that the one who does the reworking is also the loving Father.

I come to You today O LORD, You are my Father, you are also the potter. You alone know the plans You have for me. What I know is the pressure and confusion I often feel. Thank You that I can rest in Your love. Thank You that even when the hardness and rebellion of my heart causes You to rework the clay it can never change the goodness of Your heart or You kind intentions towards me. I saw this in the garden when the lump of clay into which You breathed life rebelled against You and You responded by promising a Redeemer!

Following The Cues

I was trying to buy some thing at a yard sale and every time I tried the woman who was selling raised the price. Finally I got it, she didn't want me to buy the item and instead of saying that she just kept raising the price out of my range. Sometimes I'm slow picking up on the cues people give me. One of the Scriptures on guidance says, “A man's mind plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps.” Proverbs 16:9

Sometimes I find myself pushing on doors that will not open. In my mind I must get through the door to reach my destination. However, if it's true that the Lord is directing my steps I think it's always a good idea when I cannot make a door open to ask the Lord if He has other plans for me. This is what I see in the story of Balaam and the talking donkey. Balaam was furious with the donkey for not going in the direction that Balaam wanted him to go in until God allowed the donkey to speak. It was only then that Balaam became aware of angle who was standing in the middle of the road with a flaming sword. Numbers 22

Once I was walking on the country road. Suddenly I felt like I had encountered a wall of fear. I have never been a fearful person so my first instinct was to ignore this feeling and keep going the problem was the feeling of fear became almost a tangible presence. Finally, I stopped and prayed. I realized that it was possible that God was using this feeling of fear to cause me to turn around. Later I found out that a murder had occurred on that road about the same time I was on my walk.

Sometimes the plans that we have for ourselves and the direction God has for us matches. Still, God calls for us to pursue our plans with a heart that is surrendered to Him. From the time my father in law was a young man he wanted a farm. For years he and his wife spent all their week ends searching for a place that would fulfill that dream but finding nothing. Finally, he prayed and told the Lord that he would give up his search if he hadn't found a farm by the time he was thirty five. He signed the papers for a farm on his thirty fifth birthday.

Lord Jesus, help me humble myself and surrender my plans to You. Please help me be sensitive to the leading of Your Holy Spirit. Give me wisdom to know. when to keep going and when to turn around and go in a different direction. By faith Lord let me be lead by the hand I cannot hold.