I saw myself more clearly portrayed in the family movies then I ever have in my reflection in my mirror at home. There I was eating a big piece of cake. Was it really me? Did I really look like that? Next was the scene of a hike my sisters and I had taken. My sisters are in good shape and though the path was steep they were obviously taking it in their stride. Then the camera looked back to were I was. It was not an easy walk for me. One sister had decided to keep me company but she didn't want to loose the benefit of her power walk so she was walking back and forth in front of me. By the time we reached the top of the hill she had probably walked twice or even three times as far as I had yet I was the one out of breath. It was a funny family movie...well... kind of funny.
Have you ever heard of a besetting sin? It's mentioned in Hebrews 12:1b "Let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, let us run with endurance the race that is set before us..." I have a sin like that. The reason it clings so closely is that I don't fully want to give it up. My sin of gluttony springs from my sin of rebellion. Joy is a fruit of the Spirit but there is a counterfeit called pleasure. Just as joy is produced from my union with the Spirit I find a fleshly pleasure in my gluttony. How bad can it be, really? "To set the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace." Romans 8:7
I find a parallel idea in the Old Testaments. Over and over I find the phrase, "he did what was right in the eyes of the Lord. The high places, however, were not removed, and the people continued to offer sacrifices and burnt incense there."These were good kings that just held back a little. Then there was Hezekiah,"And he did what was right in the eyes of the Lord...he removed the high places...He trusted in the LORD the God Israel...For he held fast to the LORD. He did not depart from following him...And the LORD was with him; wherever he went out ,he prospered." 2 Kings 18:3-7
Do you want to know why this sin still clings to me? Because I have a hard time letting it go . I have tried over and over. When I fail I give up and sigh,"At least I tried." What does it take to get rid of this besetting sin? What does it take to remove this high place in my life?
When I look at Hebrews I find the answer. In fact it's in the same sentence that talks about the sin that clings to me. "and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith..."Hebrews 12:1-3 My problem is I've tried to fight flesh with flesh. Another book another program, if I try a little harder I'll get it this time. I need faith not flesh.
I think God allows these struggles in our lives to showcase our desperate need for a savior. My sin of gluttony constantly brings me to a place of humility. I need help. I am comforted by the words I find in Romans 8:11" If the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dwells in you, he who raised Christ Jesus from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through his Spirit who dwells in you."
Lord Jesus, here I am again. I don't want to hold back. I want to give my self to You completely. I want to be like the cloud of witnesses spoken of in Hebrews 11 who walked by faith. Help me to be like Hezekiah who fully obeyed you. Help me to walk in your Spirit. Meet me now in this place of weakness and show me Your strength!
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