Far as the Curse is Found

I noticed this year that all the figures in my nativity scene seem to be looking down at the baby in the manger. I was trying to arrange them but I had a problem the animals got in the way. I didn't know where to put them. I began to wonder what they really had to do with the story of the Savior's birth anyway.

Often I see cattle, lambs and perhaps a dove in the rafters as part of the manger scene. As I pondered the animal's presence at Jesus' birth I thought about why he had come. When Jesus began his ministry John the Baptist announced him by saying,"Behold the lamb of God who takes away the sins of the world." I moved the lambs a little closer to the manger.

When sin entered the world the curse entered the world as a result. God saw what he had made at creation and it was very good. When man sinned the ground was cursed thorns and thistles were brought forth. Man was clothed with a garment of skins. It was the first sacrifice made to atone for sin.

This sacrifice was a picture of something innocent dying for one who was guilty. Leviticus shows that sacrifices were not done in an impersonal way. The one who brought the sacrifice had to lay his hands on the head of the animal to be sacrificed. All of creation was waiting for the Savior, the one who came to take away the sins of the world. I found a place of all the animals, they too are part of the story of Christmas.

While setting up the Nativity scene a verse of a carol was going through my mind. "No more let sins and sorrow grow, Nor thrones infest the ground; He comes to make his blessing flow far as the curse is found, far as the curse is found. And heaven and nature sing."

Victory Over the Darkness

There is an old faded photo of a little girl sitting on concrete stairs. Her eyes are dark her hair is short but the most distinguishing feature about her is the halo of sadness that surrounds her. That little girl was me.

From my earliest memories I struggled with depression. I would feel it coming like a case of the flu. One moment everything looked wonderful the next moment I would experience an eclipse, darkness would shroud my thoughts. I look back at that picture of that sad little girl and am reminded of the lessons I have learned in the dark.

Because of my struggle with darkness and depression I began to seek the light. I read in James1:2 "Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trails of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness." I do consider my struggle with depression to be a trail but I also count it as a blessing. The battle with darkness has caused me to crave the light. Jesus said,"I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will not walk in darkness, but will have the light of life." John 8:12

I cannot say that I no longer struggle with depression but I can say that that I do not walk in darkness. Morning by morning I wake before the Sun rises. I open the Word of God and I open my heart, my spirit, and my soul to the light of the world. I write verses on 3X5 cards to carry with me. I take each dark and negative thought captive to the obedience of Jesus Christ. In the night when anxiety threatens to suffocate me I remember the one who came to save me. In his light the darkness cannot remain.

James also says,"and let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing." The trail of darkness sends me seeking light. In his light I see truth, I find wisdom, I find healing, I find joy. I see the faded picture of the sad little girl and I whisper,"Don't be afraid your Redeemer lives. The light of the world has come to take away the darkness."

Lord Jesus, because of you there is victory over darkness. May your redemption of my struggle be to the glory of "the only Sovereign, the King of kings and the Lord of lords, who alone has immortality,who dwells in unapproachable light.." 1 Timothy 6:15,16

Trust

She wore sorrow like a mantle. Her eyes were cast down. She was a picture of hopelessness. How could someone so young see themselves with no future?

I listened to her story, my heart felt her sadness. I realized what she needed was hope. She needed to know there was something to look forward too. I wanted to help her lift her down cast eyes to the horizon and see the rays of the Sun. I longed to share that God is good and worthy of her trust.

I shared the Scripture that been an encouragement to me so many times. "Trust in the Lord with your with all your heart,and don't lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him and he will make your paths straight." Proverbs 3:5,6 There was an angry flash of light in her eyes. "This has nothing to do with trusting God", she said.

What does it mean to "Trust in the Lord with all your heart"? For me this has been at life long journey. When I have faced disappointment "Trusting in the Lord" meant to let go of my dreams and believe that the Sovereign Lord who was my shepherd had a better plan than I could see. When I have looked at the future with fear and anxiety "Trusting the Lord" caused me to remember Jesus' promise to never leave me or forsake me.

My concern for the people I love takes me to a whole different level of trusting God. I have learned the peace this trust brings with it and I want them to have it as well. However, I cannot make someone else choose to trust God. This reality brings me to the question, do I believe God will teach them to trust him the way he has taught me?

Lord Jesus, you have taught me to trust you by the difficulties you've taken me through. Trusting you has taught me how to rejoice in hope and be patient in affliction. Help me to be faithful in prayer as I walk with others who are learning to trust you.

The Hidden Problem

They were everywhere! A swarm of little fruit flies suddenly appeared in my kitchen. They were unwelcome guests and I was determined to get rid of them. So my quest began.

I got out my computer and typed "how to get rid of fruit flies". There were many creative solutions. There was only one problem they didn't seem to work. My husband came to my rescue, he got out the vacuum and in a short time he vacuumed up most of them. Then a week latter there was another swarm.

This battle seemed to go on forever until I decided I needed to find the source. I started in the laundry room totally cleaning everything. That's when I found "it". "It" at one time had been a bag of potatoes but had fallen behind a box. The potatoes had changed into a black gooey incubator for fruit flies.

As I was vacuuming up the remaining flies I thought about how this parallels something that happens in my spiritual life as well. I am often disturbed or bothered by things in my life that aren't the way I want them to be. Self improvement becomes almost a hobby but it seems that no sooner do I clear up one bad habit than another one appears.

One of the names given to Satan is Beelzebub, it means lord of the flies. Flies are drawn to dead and rotten things and they can be so irritating that they become the focus. What I have discovered over the years is that I need more than self improvement I need a Savior. When I humble myself before God and pray with the words of the Psalmist I find relief,"Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts! And see if there be any grievous way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting!" Psalm 139 23,24

Lord Jesus, thank you for coming as the "Lamb of God who takes away the sins of the world." Thank you also in my daily battle with the world the flesh and the devil you are there as my Savior. Help me to continually humble myself before you in prayer. Exposes my secret sins and set me free.

The Gift of Gratitude

There are different ways to open and receive gifts. I have observed both. I have watched children rip through a pile of beautifully wrapped expensive gifts and then sit among-st the littered paper with an expression of disappointment and ask, "Is that all?" I also had the privilege of watching a woman whom my family adopted, Aunt Loraine, open gifts.

Aunt Loraine took her time opening gifts. We would gather around her and be her audience as she would carefully examine each package. Each child wrapped their own gift to her. She would compliment them on the wrapping paper, noticing how they thoroughly covered the gift with tape making it shine. When she got to the gift itself she would fully explore all it's benefits. Aunt Loraine savored the gifts she was given and showered the giver with gratitude.

"Give thanks in all circumstances,for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." I Thessalonians 5:18 I have discovered in life that until I receive gifts with a grateful heart I don't fully receive them at all. If my heart is full of gratitude not only do I look  I also see, not only do I touch I am able to feel. I not only listen to what is being said I am able to hear what is meant. Not only do I eat the feast before me I also am able to taste and savor the flavors.

From my earliest memories I have struggled with depression. One of my weapons in the battle is gratitude. "Through Jesus, therefore, let us continually offer to God a sacrifice of praise-the fruit of lips giving thanks to his name." Hebrews 13:15 Sometimes being grateful is a sacrifice. I find it's not a feeling as much as it is a decision. There are other verse in this chapter that help me make this decision. "'Never will I leave you;never will I forsake you.'  So I say with confidence,'The Lord is my helper, I will not be afraid...'" Through the sacrifice of praise and thanks giving my spirit is able to see more clearly the gifts that surround me.

Lord Jesus, thank you for all you have given me. Help me to take the time today to fully appreciate your gifts.

I Can't Protect Them

Suddenly I was awake! What I had seen was so clear that even now almost thirty years later I can recall every detail. I saw a car with my daughter looking out at me from the rear window driving away from me. With my mind washed with adrenaline I stumbled as quickly as I could in the dark to her bedroom where she lay sleeping peacefully. She was asleep but I was wide awake.

The dream represented the truth that I was not sovereign in my child's life. I could not protect her from all evil. I also realized that God does allow painful things into the lives of those who belong to him. It wasn't only the reality of my inability to protect my child that kept me awake most of the night, it was my inability to trust God.

That night I paced the floor for hours praying. My mind was reviewing the horrors children and their parents endured. Children are kidnapped, abused, and suffer with terminal illness. I believe in a Sovereign God how could I reconcile this in my mind? What if the child who suffered these things was my child? My prayer was basic,"Lord, I want to trust you. Show me how!"

The truth was that in my own strength I was unable to trust God. As I wrestled with my lack of faith I realized that faith is a gift of God. I asked God for the grace to trust him with the possible harm that could come to my child. What I heard in response was,"I will give you the grace you need for the trials you will face today. I will give you the grace to trust me for the future."

I was finally able to sleep when I began to turn my focus away from the "what ifs" and look at who God is. The anxiety I was experiencing was about things over which I had no control. In prayer I was able to bring it all into the presence of a loving God. The assurance I received was that not only was there grace for today but for every tomorrow I would face.

My children are all grown and have left my home. I have experienced the grace of trusting God on their behalf many times. I have learned that God doesn't give grace for the "what ifs" for that he gives me faith.  Being a mother has taught me time and time again that only God is sovereign and he is worthy of my faith. I have also learned I can trust God to give me the grace I need for each day.

Lord Jesus, thank you that your mercy is new every morning great is your faithfulness. Please help me rest in your love for both myself and my family. Thank you that when I am blindsided by anxiety I can bring it to you in prayer and find the grace that leads to peace.

Humility

"You are not the boss of me!" These words were spoken with great conviction by my three year old son. However, at that time I was the boss of him. His statement represented clear lack of understanding about our relationship.

I have begun the practice of daily asking God to give me the spirit of humility. Many people think that I am crazy for doing that. When I pray for humility what I am really seeking is to live my life with a correct view of my relationship to God. The first time I heard humility explained to me was in connection with 1 Peter 5:6,7 "Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you." If I am relating correctly with God I am resting in Him. This for me is a picture of humility.

I also see humility as having a correct relationship with the gifts God has given me. When humility is spoken of in 1 Peter and in James 4 there is a warning to resist the devil. Why? "You were the signet of perfection, full of wisdom and perfect in beauty. You were in Eden, the garden of God; every precious stone was your covering...You were an anointed cherub...You were blameless in your ways from the day you were created, till unrighteousness was found in you." What was the unrighteousness? "Your heart was proud because of your beauty; you corrupted your wisdom for the sake of your splendor." Ezekiel 28 Pride is the opposite of humility. Whenever I focus on what God has given me instead of focusing on God pride enters my heart.

When I clash with those around me it is often because I find it more natural to be prideful than to relate to others with humility. I see their problems clearly while I find my own more difficult to detect. I'm quick to tell others what I think but slow to hear what they are trying to say.

Lord Jesus, I find in your word that I am to clothe myself with humility. Help me to live my life based on your grace, casting my cares on you. Help me to have a heart of gratitude and not pride and help me to consider others more than I do myself.

God Loves a Cheerful Giver

The smell of bread being baked filled the house. Every week my grandmother would bake twelve loaves of bread. How much bread could three people eat in a week?

In my mind those loaves of bread were symbolic of my grandmother's generous heart. On the days Grandmother baked I would be sent out all over the patch (the neighborhood) delivering her gifts of fresh baked bread. The Bible teaches that God loves a cheerful giver and I never doubted that God loved my grandmother.

Grandmother remembered every one's birthday. For some of her friends she would be the only one to remember. Grandmother delighted in writing letters. What joy it was as a little girl to receive a letter from my grandmother written with her phonic spelling that expressed her French accent. I never received a letter were she wouldn't write at the bottom, P.S. I joint you a hanky, or I joint you a dollar.

Grandmother's life had not been a life of great wealth and ease. She was born in France on November 10, 1891. When she was eight years old her mother died. Every year she would send me for her box of treasures. She would take out the postage stamp size picture of her mother and kiss it. She was a young women during World War I. It was during this time that she met and married my Italian grandfather. Her infant son died in Italy.

She came to America and became a citizen. While her husband worked in the coal mines my grandmother worked at home raising her family during the lean years of the depression. When World War II started her two sons enlisted. Grandmother fully understood a life of sacrifice. Grandmother, however, didn't spend her time focused on what she gave but on what she'd been given.

When I reflect on the lessons my grandmother taught me I think about the joy she found in giving. It was in her last years, however, that I discovered the secret of her generosity. She had sold her home and was living with her daughter. A hospital bed had been placed in the downstairs living room. When I would visit she was always overflowing with joy and would tell me that she was the richest woman alive because she had all she needed. Her life of giving had been an overflow of a grateful heart.

Lord Jesus, thank you for the example my grandmother gave me. Thank you for letting me see a life that overflows with gratitude for what you have done for them by giving to others. Thank you for the lesson Grandmother taught me that no one is ever poor who has something to give.

Lessons Learned in the Storm

I picture the scene as I read the words. "When the ship was caught and could not face the wind, we gave way to it and were driven along” (Acts 27). I can picture it because I have experienced it. Not a storm on the sea, but surly in the storms of life. In the storms of life I discovered how vulnerable I really am.

"Since we were violently storm tossed, they began the next day to jettison the cargo." In my mind's eye I can see an ark surrounded by a watery darkness. There is no light to indicate if it is day or night. There are no stars to guide East or West. The ark is tossed by the hands of a monster awakened by the storm. What once seemed precious is now just cargo to be jettisoned in hope of survival.

When all hope was extinguished, Paul spoke and said,"Do not be afraid." How could he say that? He too was experiencing the storm. His words were based on his faith in a Sovereign Lord. Storms often seem to expose a contest of strength. Who will win? To whom will we bow as victor?

In the first chapter of James I read, "Count it all joy, my brothers. when you meet trails of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness."  What is steadfastness? The definition I found was, “Fixed, unchanging, steady." This is the quality I see in Paul when he says during the storm,"Do not fear." A storm will not only show you how vulnerable you are it will show you how strong God is when you put you faith in him.

"And let your steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing." What is valuable what is real. The enemy of my soul comes with darkness. Shrouded by the storm produced confusion I loose my way. "You are lost and at my mercy,” fear whispers in my ear. By faith my spirit seeks what my eye cannot see. I call out in faith for wisdom! God gives it generously with out reproach. He knows my frame that I am weak.

Lord Jesus, I call to you in faith when the storms have caused me to loose my way. I do not want to be like the waves of the sea tossed by the wind. Please create in me a steadfast heart. And please let my life be a beacon of light to others who struggle in the dark night of the storm. A light that points to you.

Removing the Labels

Labels are something you begin receiving in childhood. The first label I got was when I was in the first grade and riding the school bus. The older children gave the label "cute" to some of the first grade girls, I wasn't one of them. My label was "not cute". In class I received my next label. I had difficulty reading so I was given the label "not smart". Although these labels hurt there was a label that was far worse than any label I received it was "not wanted".

When I became an adult I opened my home to children who bore the label "not wanted". I understood what labels do. They hang invisible over your head and become a prison for your heart. They limit your hopes and dreams. No matter where you go you believe that everyone knows the label that has been placed above your head. I welcomed the "not wanted" children into my home I wanted to share with them what I had learned about how to remove the labels.

The way I receive my labels was when I saw myself reflected in the eyes of other people. I accepted their assessment of me as truth. Then I learned to see myself reflected in the eyes of a loving God. In the words of Jeremiah 33 God says, "I have loved you with an everlasting love: therefore with loving kindness I have drawn you." God's love gave me value this is the same value I tried to share with the children who came into my home with their heads bowed low with the burden of the "not wanted" label.

From the perspective of my peers and my teachers I was "not cute" I was "not smart". But when I read God's word I received a different perspective. I learned in Psalm 139 that God formed my inward parts; that he knit me together in my mother's womb. I was made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. The knowledge that I was a reflection of God's creativity gave me value. This was the value that I longed to impart to the children who came into my home. I whispered it to them in the morning and tucked them in bed with it at night.

Lord Jesus, in your word I find that I am God's workmanship, created in you for good works, which God prepared before hand that I should do.  Thank you for redeeming the pain of the labels I received in my childhood. Dear Lord, please let me help other's see themselves reflected in your loving eyes.

The Secret of Contentment

The very idea that there was a secret to being content made me angry!

When I was eighteen I knew that my life would begin when I left home and went to college. At college I was restless and longed to be married. Once I was married I knew if only I had a child I would be satisfied. After the birth of my first child I waited for more children to make my family complete. Then I knew it was having a house that would bring contentment to my life. I didn't ask for much, just a little bit more and a little bit better.

One Christmas morning I observed as one of my children opened gifts with their head turned. This child was completely unaware of the gift they had received because all the attention was on the gift their sibling was unwrapping. That was a picture of my discontent. I was totally unaware of the value of what I had received but I was keenly aware of what the people around me were receiving. However, that was only part of my problem.

During one particularly dissaticfing chapters of my life I encountered Philippians 4. It was in this chapter that I found that Paul had learned the secret of contentment. I was puzzled. If God wanted me to be content why would He choose to make it a secret? I decided to go on a quest to find out what this secret was. It began with prayer followed by study and meditation on Philippians 4. This is what I discovered.

First, Paul wrote Philippians while he was imprisoned in Rome,therefor his contentment wasn't based on his circumstances. Paul wasn't looking at the gifts other's had been given, he wasn't even rejoicing in the gifts he had received. He was rejoicing in the giver. Because his joy was in the Lord he had learned to rejoice in hope. From the things he suffered he received the gift of endurance. With the gift of endurance came the gift of character. Focused on God's faithfulness he experienced joy. Suffering with Christ he began to know the power of the Resurrection. Going through both plenty and hunger he found that he could do all things through Jesus who strengthened him.

Lord Jesus, forgive me. Not only have I been like a spoiled child who didn't appreciate your gifts. I have not appreciated the giver of every good and perfect gift.  The secret wasn't that hard to understand when I finally looked up and saw that everything I had ever received I received from your loving hands. When my heart surrender to the love of your heart I knew contentment.

How Can I Tell You Why I Believe What I Believe?

"Think fast!" These were words I heard shortly before the ball smashed into my body. I was never good at thinking fast as a child nor am I good at it now. When I am put on the spot and asked to give a defense of what I believe my brain stutters and my tongue sticks to the roof of my mouth. Why? Maybe it's because sharing my faith and what I believe is about more than just quickly spewing words.

In a class on apologetics the teacher helped me a great deal. He did it by giving directions on how to share what you believe using a pattern found in 1 Peter 3: 15,16. Looking at my problem through the corrective lens of God's word somethings became clearer to me.

As I meditated on these verses I saw the place to begin was in my own heart. I was to, "regard Christ the Lord as holy". Jesus said of himself, "I am the way, the truth, and the life, no one comes to the Father except by me." In this statement Jesus proclaimed his holiness. If in my heart I regard him as Lord and as holy it means I place myself under the authority of his word.

"Always being prepared to make a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you." Hope is an anchor for the soul. It is a confident expectation of good. Hope often becomes evident to others when we go through suffering. Hope in Christ causes us to endure. Endurance changes our character to be more like the one we've put our trust in. When people see joy in the midst of suffering they want to know it's source.

There is more to it. The teaching of the Bible often clashes with our culture. We are told to share what we believe with gentleness and respect. I remember as a child being bludgeoned with the knowledge of children older than I was. The result wasn't that I leaned what they knew. The result was that my ignorance became a spectacle. To share what I believe with gentleness is to be respectful of the one with whom I am speaking. Respect also means I am not doing all the talking. I have often shared what I believe with others as if I'm shooting at them with a machine gun, never giving them a chance to say a word.

If I just stop with these thoughts I would be taking these verses out of context. I think the context of these verses help explain why I get nervous when I share the things I believe that are politically incorrect. The next verse says, "when you are slandered". It doesn't say "if" it says "when". I don't really want to be slandered. I want people to like me I want people to think I'm smart. Yet being slandered in this passage of 1 Peter 3 goes with being zealous for what is good and regarding Christ in my heart as holy.

Lord Jesus, you came as the Lamb of God who takes away the sins of the world. You came that I might have life and have it abundantly. You gave me this great gift this anchor that holds my soul secure during the greatest storms of life. You also commissioned me to go into a hurting dying world with words of truth, comfort and salvation. You also said that no servant was greater than his master and if they persecuted you I should not expect to be treated differently. Jesus, grant me the grace to love you more that I love myself and share what I believe with gentleness and respect.

What Does it Mean to be Heard?

It is a character flaw that drives my husband crazy. I am a bad listener. I think of it every time I read in James that we are to be quick to hear and slow to speak. My problem is that I get it backwards I am quick to speak and slow to hear.

I was thinking about this yesterday. What is my core problem that causes me to be more apt to speak than to listen? It didn't take to much pondering before the truth bubbled to the surface. It is my old nemesis Pride. Because of my pride I want to be heard, I am more interested in expressing what I have to say than to patiently listen to what others say.

How different this is from the way Jesus was when he encountered the people who came to him. Over and over he would ask, "What do you want me to do for you?" Their needs seemed obvious me when I read the gospels. If someone is blind give them their sight, if someone is paralyzed get them on their feet and move them on. But Jesus wasn't doing assembly line healing. His healing touch went deeper than their physical needs.

"What do you want me to do for you?" I picture Jesus pausing and looking at the person who had been brought to him. In Jesus' presence each person was heard. Time no longer mattered. By his penetrating question they were invited to let their deepest pain be heard. When one responded, "Lord that I might receive my sight." I wonder what kind of sight he gave them. I think that after he healed them it wasn't just their physical blindness that was removed.

When I read in James, "You have not because you ask not." I feel Jesus inviting me to be heard. It takes time to unravel the tangled mess in my soul. For what should I ask when I am invited before the throne of God? Some things seem so obvious but there are other things that are buried so deep within my soul I can't put words to them.

What does it take for me to heard? I have the invitation. But it takes more than the invitation it takes time. By faith I come into his presents morning by morning. I read his word, I meditate on it and I wait. I wait for his Holy Spirit that comes like an warm anointing oil. A penetrating oil bringing clarity where once there was nothing but confusion. When my quiet time with God is over I know I have been heard.

Lord Jesus, I want to be more like you. This morning again I hear you inviting me to bring before you the deepest requests of my heart. Please grant me the grace to put to death my pride so that I can hear what others around me are really saying.

To Be Somebody

Maybe it's because I was one of nine children born within ten years. Maybe it's just human nature. Maybe it's the reason Jesus' disciples kept the argument going about which one of them was the greatest. It is the haunting question, "Am I significant?"

As I wrestled with this question again this morning I started thinking about Jesus' example. "Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus,who, though he was in the from of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men." Philippians 2:5-7 Why? Why would Jesus humble himself to the point of death even death on a cross? It wasn't because of my love for him it was because of his love for me. If the one who calls forth the day from the womb of the dawn has chosen to love me can I find my significance in his love?

Again I think of Jesus, "When he knew his hour had come to depart out of this world to the Father, having loved his own who were in the world, he loved them to the end." John 13 This verse is followed by Jesus laying aside his outer garment, taking a towel, tying it around his waist, and beginning to wash his disciple's feet. In their quest for greatness none of them would have thought to stoop before the others and wash their feet. Yet Jesus said, " For I have given you an example, that you also ought to wash one anther's feet." Can I find my significance in taking up the basin and the towel and following Jesus' example of being a servant?

Lord Jesus, forgive me for my pride. I identify with your disciples desperately wanting to be recognized for being somebody. Thank you Lord for loving me. Thank you Lord for knowing who I am. Thank you Lord for seeing me. It's so easy to get lost these days in the shuffle and the noise. Please help me to find my identity in your love and service.

How to Begin the Day with Strength and Courage

I opened my eyes but it was still dark. The darkness felt like a heavy cold blanket wrapped around my heart. As my hand reached for the light switch my heart reached for the light as well. With spiritual light came spiritual truth,"This is the day the Lord has made I will rejoice and be glad in it."Psalm 118:24 I made the declaration, I spoke the word of God and suddenly I saw a scene in my mind.

As a young man Joshua had been one of the twelve spies to go into the Promised Land. What he saw confirmed the promises God had made, it was indeed a land flowing with milk and honey. He also had seen the giants and the walled cities. With Moses at the lead he had encouraged the people to believe that God was able to keep His promises. That was forty years ago. Moses was gone now. It was his job to lead the people into a land inhabited with giants. It was his job to take possession of the walled cities.

How did he overcome his since of inadequacy? Joshua was called by God to trust Him. With the calling came the promise,"Just as I was with Moses, so I will be with you. I will never leave you or forsake you." With the promise came the command, "Be strong and very courageous." Strength and courage were bi-products of Joshua's belief that God would keep His promises.

When it came time for the first battle Joshua encountered a man standing before him with a drawn sword in his hand. "Whose side are you on? Are you for us or our adversary?" The problem was Joshua was asking the wrong question. Joshua was not only given an answer he was given perspective. "No; but I am the commander of the army of the Lord. Now I have come."

Lord Jesus, I often begin my day weighed down with a heavy heart, unsure that I have what it takes to face the day. Yet your word says to rejoice because it is a day you have made. You also promised that you would not leave of forsake me. My eyes do not see the "commander of the army of the Lord". But you said that the Father would send the Helper, the Holy Spirit, to teach and to guide. Lord Jesus, you have given me your peace and with a heart of faith I receive it. Knowing you are worthy of my trust and your promises are true, I begin the day with courage and rejoicing.

Rejoicing in Hope

As we sat eating lunch my sister told me about giving her testimony the day before. The theme of her story was one of hope of joy and of worship. As she spoke my mind went back to the day her husband died.

Two weeks before my sister turned thirty her husband died leaving her a widow with three little boys four and under. That day the colors of the world blurred and the earth tilted throwing everything off its base. Coming home from the hospital I watched as she picked up a card that someone had sent her. On it were printed the words of Jeremiah 29:11 "I know the plans I have for you,declares the Lord, plans for wholeness and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope." I held my breath wondering how she would respond.

In a whisper, her words choked with tears, she said, "The good plan God had for Steve was Heaven". Her response was one of faith and worship. Hope that is seen is not hope. During her time of intense grief my sister often repeated the verse,  "I would have despaired if I had not believed that I would see the goodness of God in the land of the living." Psalm 27:13 "We hope for what we do not see,we wait for it with patience. Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness." Romans 8:24 I watched as my sister grieved deeply but not without hope upheld in her weakness by the Spirit of God.

The verse my sister used in her testimony was 1 Thessalonians 5:16-19 "Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. Do not quench the Spirit." This is the essence of worship. To submit your life in hope to the love of God. To trust that if He chooses to crush the grape it is to produce the wine of joy. To believe that His plans are good and not evil even when worship involves a broken heart. This is true worship this is pure joy.

Lord Jesus, I know that through you I obtain by faith grace to stand in all situations. Because of your grace I am able, like my sister, to rejoice in hope. I believe that our suffering produces endurance. I have watched as this endurance produced character in my sister's life. Thank you Lord that the hope my sister had in You did not put her to shame. You have been faithful to shed your love abroad in her heart and mine  through the power of your Holy Spirit.

To Be Set Free

I'm sure it is a universal desire. When I became a mother I wanted to be the perfect mother. There was one major thing that stood in my way. It was me. I couldn't be the perfect mother because I was flawed. As a result of my imperfection I inflicted all my faults on my children.

When my oldest daughter came to live with me she invited me to watch several movies with her. Each movie had a similar theme. They depicted daughters who began to understand who their mother really was. Watching these movies together opened up communication between us. It gave me an opportunity to ask my daughter to forgive me. Our bond of love deepened as she gave me the gift of understanding. In her forgiveness I was set free to become who I had wanted to be, someone who loved her.

One piece of advice I offer to all who stand on the threshold of adulthood is to forgive their parents. When you are a child your parents are godlike in their relationship to you. They have control and in my childlike mind they were to be all knowing and all powerful. However, because they were not God they failed. If a child refuses to forgive their parents the relationship between child and the parents is crippled.

When I think about the prayer Jesus taught his disciples to pray I think it is interesting that the one part he illustrated was that of forgiveness. The warning that we would be forgiven as we forgive is strong. I often see children who have been hurt by the flaws of their parents. If there is no forgiveness the parent's flaws become the children's flaws as well. When someone becomes a mother or father and is bitter towards their parents the pattern of bitterness is reproduced in their children even if they go into parenting with resolve to be perfect.

Lord Jesus, thank you for knowing me and loving me. Thank you for setting me free from my sins by your forgiveness. Please help me to set the ones I love free and not to bind them and myself by unforgiveness.

To Know and to be Known

"I never struggled with vanity." About that time my sister almost choked. "Sarah, don't forget we shared a room growing up. If you never struggled with vanity why exactly did you sleep with those huge prickly curlers in your hair?" Sometimes your family understands you better than you do yourself.

"Love is patient" When the Bible describes love this is the first word used in the definition. One dictionary definition for patience is the ability to endure provocation, annoyance, misfortune, or pain with calm and strength. Where better to experience this than in a family? It began at birth. When my parents took me home from the hospital and they began having to endure provocation, annoyance, misfortune,and pain with calm and strength. This is love. They responded lovingly to me because there was understanding.

Growing up in a large family I was constantly being provoked and annoyed. I was also learning to love. I was learning to understand people who were different from me. Whenever I would come home I was safe to be who I was. I was safe to let down my guard.

I think a basic need for all people is to know and be known. To have a place where you feel like the people around you understand who you are and accept you. I think this is why God created families. Even when Jesus taught us to pray it began,"Our Father who aren't in Heaven." The family relationship of a child approaching their father.

Sometimes it's hard for a child to understand their parents. Yesterday my friend told me about something that happens in Autumn it's called fall turnover. It's when the cool water on the bottom of a lake change places with the warm water on top. When this happens the lake becomes very clear and you are able to see all the way to the bottom of the lake. I have seen this happen in the Autumn of my life as I look at my parents. As I see them with clearer understanding my love grows.

Lord Jesus, thank you for placing me in a family. Thank you for adopting me into your family as well. Help me to love. To give the gift of knowing and receive the gift of being known.

My Path is Hidden from Me but not from Him

I turned seven the week my Aunt Sally got married. She was the heroin of all my childhood dreams. Soon after she married she left to be a missionary and live with a primitive tribe of Indians on a tributary of the Amazon River. My grandmother would read long letters about her adventures written on paper as thin as the peel of an onion. It was through the stories written in those letters I began to learn what it looks like to trust the Lord.

While with the Indians Aunt Sally's baby,Margret,developed cerebral malaria. In an effort to save her baby's life she needed to get her to Belem. The only way to get there was by canoe. Holding her feverish baby in a canoe on a tributary of the Amazon River she was invited by God to a deeper level of trust. She was reminded of these words,"Never doubt in the dark what God has revealed in the light."

While in Belem she received two letters from Margret's grandmothers. Each grandmother told how they had been awaken in the middle of the night with an urgent need to pray for Margret. In retrospect Aunt Sally realized they were praying at the very time Margret's fever was raging.

Trust in the Lord is not perfected in times of ease. It is perfected when the way is hidden from us. When we choose to trust God with all our hearts even when He takes us or those we love on paths we do not understand.

When you are a child the direction of your life is dictated by adults who have authority over you. My childhood perspective was that one day I would be in charge of my own destiny and like my Aunt Sally. I would chart my own course. But what I learned from the letters written on onion skin paper is that our life is directed by the Lord when we trust him with all our hearts.

Lord Jesus, thank you for the example of those who have gone before me who taught me by their lives what it looks like to trust you. A grandmother who trusted you to direct the lives of her daughter and granddaughter in a foreign land. A young mother who chose not to doubt in the dark what you revealed in the light. Oh Lord, let my life be an example of one who trusts in you not leaning on my own understanding. Truely my path is hidden from me but not from you,therefore,let me trust you with my whole heart

A Secret for Survival and Success

I remember the first time I heard it said.

It was a season in my life when I felt overwhelmed. I didn't want to get out of bed. Everything I did took more energy than I had. I just wanted to quit. That's when an elderly man in our church told me his secret of survival. "Sarah, you don't have to be responsible for doing everything just the next right thing."

I think that's what faith looks like. You chose to do the next right thing not because that's what you feel like doing but because you are trusting something outside yourself. I think that's what humility looks like too. In 1 Peter 5 it says to humble yourself under the mighty hand of God by casting all your anxieties on him. Pride can cause me to be paralyzed feeling the weight of the world crushing me. When I humble myself and cast my anxieties on God then I am free to simply do the next right thing and leave everything else to God.

I've heard that one of the reasons a lion roars at his prey is because it terrifies them and causes them to not be able to run away. 1 Peter 5 tells us that our adversary is like a roaring lion,seeking someone to devour but we are told to resist him firm in our faith. Faith isn't simply what I believe it's how I act because of what I believe. Because I believe God is in control I can do the next right thing and leave the outcome to him.

Sometimes the reason I have trouble functioning is because I'm suffering. I'm suffering emotionally. I'm suffering because of choices I've made or the choices someone else has made. In times like this I choose again to do the next right thing because I believe God has called me in Christ to something beyond what I am experiencing right now.

Lord Jesus, you never promised a life without trouble. What you did promise was that you would restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish me. Because I trust you I will continue to do the next right thing.

The Church that Had No Door

Was I wrong to exposse my children ot Jenifer?

When Jennifer's family moved into the neighborhood an alert was sounded to all the other families. The family had a bad reputation in town. In an attempt to find her place among the children of the neighborhood, Jennifer shared with them all the bad words she knew. She knew a lot of them. All the mothers felt that their fears had been confirmed.

The edict was given by all the good mothers of the neighborhood that Jennifer was not allowed to play with their children. They further sought to protect their children by saying that no child that played with Jennifer would be allowed to play with their children. They wanted to protect their children's innocents. I understood their concern but I was conflicted.

I brought Jennifer into my living room and sat beside her. "Jennifer, what do you think Jesus would say to you if he was here in the room with us?" Without hesitation she responded, "He would tell me to go away and leave everyone alone." She spoke with conviction about her unworthiness to be around the "good" children. I knew then that I my response to this child was to show her the love of God.

I monitored the conversations she had with my children, I took her with us when we went to church and other programs for children. She began to eat daily at my table; she ate as if she were starving.The Department of Children's Services came to my home one day asking about Jennifer. When I told them about her ravenous appetite they told me she probably was starving.

For her birthday that year I gave her a children's Bible that had questions to answer at the end of each chapter. She brought it to me two weeks later with a big smile on her face. She had read it all the way through. She showed me how she had answered all the questions. She said she read it every chance she got. Then one day her family moved away.

During the last two months of Vincent Van Gogh's life he painted The Church at Auvers. The problem with the church is that it appears to have no door. When I opened my door to Jenifer I also tried to show her that she was not shut out from the love of God. I wanted her to know the church had a door and it was opened for her.

Lord Jesus, show me how to represent you correctly to a hurting world.