Victory Over the Darkness

There is an old faded photo of a little girl sitting on concrete stairs. Her eyes are dark her hair is short but the most distinguishing feature about her is the halo of sadness that surrounds her. That little girl was me.

From my earliest memories I struggled with depression. I would feel it coming like a case of the flu. One moment everything looked wonderful the next moment I would experience an eclipse, darkness would shroud my thoughts. I look back at that picture of that sad little girl and am reminded of the lessons I have learned in the dark.

Because of my struggle with darkness and depression I began to seek the light. I read in James1:2 "Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trails of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness." I do consider my struggle with depression to be a trail but I also count it as a blessing. The battle with darkness has caused me to crave the light. Jesus said,"I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will not walk in darkness, but will have the light of life." John 8:12

I cannot say that I no longer struggle with depression but I can say that that I do not walk in darkness. Morning by morning I wake before the Sun rises. I open the Word of God and I open my heart, my spirit, and my soul to the light of the world. I write verses on 3X5 cards to carry with me. I take each dark and negative thought captive to the obedience of Jesus Christ. In the night when anxiety threatens to suffocate me I remember the one who came to save me. In his light the darkness cannot remain.

James also says,"and let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing." The trail of darkness sends me seeking light. In his light I see truth, I find wisdom, I find healing, I find joy. I see the faded picture of the sad little girl and I whisper,"Don't be afraid your Redeemer lives. The light of the world has come to take away the darkness."

Lord Jesus, because of you there is victory over darkness. May your redemption of my struggle be to the glory of "the only Sovereign, the King of kings and the Lord of lords, who alone has immortality,who dwells in unapproachable light.." 1 Timothy 6:15,16