It is a character flaw that drives my husband crazy. I am a bad listener. I think of it every time I read in James that we are to be quick to hear and slow to speak. My problem is that I get it backwards I am quick to speak and slow to hear.
I was thinking about this yesterday. What is my core problem that causes me to be more apt to speak than to listen? It didn't take to much pondering before the truth bubbled to the surface. It is my old nemesis Pride. Because of my pride I want to be heard, I am more interested in expressing what I have to say than to patiently listen to what others say.
How different this is from the way Jesus was when he encountered the people who came to him. Over and over he would ask, "What do you want me to do for you?" Their needs seemed obvious me when I read the gospels. If someone is blind give them their sight, if someone is paralyzed get them on their feet and move them on. But Jesus wasn't doing assembly line healing. His healing touch went deeper than their physical needs.
"What do you want me to do for you?" I picture Jesus pausing and looking at the person who had been brought to him. In Jesus' presence each person was heard. Time no longer mattered. By his penetrating question they were invited to let their deepest pain be heard. When one responded, "Lord that I might receive my sight." I wonder what kind of sight he gave them. I think that after he healed them it wasn't just their physical blindness that was removed.
When I read in James, "You have not because you ask not." I feel Jesus inviting me to be heard. It takes time to unravel the tangled mess in my soul. For what should I ask when I am invited before the throne of God? Some things seem so obvious but there are other things that are buried so deep within my soul I can't put words to them.
What does it take for me to heard? I have the invitation. But it takes more than the invitation it takes time. By faith I come into his presents morning by morning. I read his word, I meditate on it and I wait. I wait for his Holy Spirit that comes like an warm anointing oil. A penetrating oil bringing clarity where once there was nothing but confusion. When my quiet time with God is over I know I have been heard.
Lord Jesus, I want to be more like you. This morning again I hear you inviting me to bring before you the deepest requests of my heart. Please grant me the grace to put to death my pride so that I can hear what others around me are really saying.
Sarah - these are wonderful words of life from a soul that has learned to listen to her Lord. I am so thankful for the many times that you have heard words spoken and unspoken. You often, like Jesus, perceive thoughts from afar - things that people need to have spoken. And because you have spent time with Jesus, listening, your words are aptly spoken - just as they have been here. Love you!
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