Tuesday, November 8, 2011

To Be Set Free

I'm sure it is a universal desire. When I became a mother I wanted to be the perfect mother. There was one major thing that stood in my way. It was me. I couldn't be the perfect mother because I was flawed. As a result of my imperfection I inflicted all my faults on my children.

When my oldest daughter came to live with me she invited me to watch several movies with her. Each movie had a similar theme. They depicted daughters who began to understand who their mother really was. Watching these movies together opened up communication between us. It gave me an opportunity to ask my daughter to forgive me. Our bond of love deepened as she gave me the gift of understanding. In her forgiveness I was set free to become who I had wanted to be, someone who loved her.

One piece of advice I offer to all who stand on the threshold of adulthood is to forgive their parents. When you are a child your parents are godlike in their relationship to you. They have control and in my childlike mind they were to be all knowing and all powerful. However, because they were not God they failed. If a child refuses to forgive their parents the relationship between child and the parents is crippled.

When I think about the prayer Jesus taught his disciples to pray I think it is interesting that the one part he illustrated was that of forgiveness. The warning that we would be forgiven as we forgive is strong. I often see children who have been hurt by the flaws of their parents. If there is no forgiveness the parent's flaws become the children's flaws as well. When someone becomes a mother or father and is bitter towards their parents the pattern of bitterness is reproduced in their children even if they go into parenting with resolve to be perfect.

Lord Jesus, thank you for knowing me and loving me. Thank you for setting me free from my sins by your forgiveness. Please help me to set the ones I love free and not to bind them and myself by unforgiveness.

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