Where Are You?

The book came from a used bookstore with an inscription on the first page. The message was from a father to his son, “I believe in you and all that you can become.” The father had told the son to start reading the book on a certain page . When I turned to the page I found a quote by Philip Yancy underlined.”The most important hurdle an addicted person must surmount is to acknowledge deep in the soul that he is not God. You must recognize individual helplessness and fall back in the arms of the Higher Power. 'First of all, we had to quit playing God', concluded the founders of AA; and then allow God himself to 'play God' in the addict's life, which involves daily,even moment-by-moment ,surrender.”

In the father's handwriting underneath the quote was written, “You choose where your heart dwells. God is calling.” "God is calling." In the cool of the day Adam and Eve heard the sound of God walking in the garden and they hid themselves. “But the Lord God called to the man and said to him, “Where are you?” Genesis 3:9 Adam had made the choice to be like God knowing good and evil but when he took and ate what was forbidden his heart lost it's home. Fear was introduced and he was driven out from the garden of Eden.

“Where are you?” This is the first question asked by God when He came seeking fellowship with the ones He had created. I think back to what the father wrote on the front page of the book, “I believe in you and all that you can become.” I see in this as a journey, the journey of becoming. Before you can know how to get someplace you must first determine where you are on the map and where you are going.

Where am I, where is my heart? This is a question I ask myself as I seek to have fellowship with God. The truth is I don't always know. “The heart is deceitful above all things and desperately sick; who can understand it? 'I the Lord search the heart and test the mind.'” Jeremiah 17:9,10 There are places in my life where I have “played god” so often I've become blind to them. The only thing I know to do is to say with the psalmist, “Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts! And see if there be any grievous way in me and lead me in the way everlasting!” Psalm 139:23,24

Father, thank You that You did not wait for me to come seeking You but You came seeking me. Show me where I am, show me where my heart is. Playing god in my life has only lead to fear and bondage. I desire to surrender to You moment-by-moment. I want my heart to find it's home in You alone.