Tuesday, July 31, 2012

What's the Purpose?

He was born in the Spring of 1921. His mother took her job to raise him up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord very seriously. She taught him from his earliest memories that the chief end of man is to glorify God and enjoy Him forever. He spent the rest of his life discovering what that meant.

What does a man that glorifies God look like? This was a question that he and I often talked about. He was a quiet man, a farmer. But this morning I read something that reminded me of  him, "Blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD, whose confidence is in him. He will be like a tree planted by the streams. It does not fear when the heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit." ( Jer. 17: 7,8)

When you live to be in your nineties you are bound to know days of drought as well as days of plenty, so it was for my father in law. But he was a humble man whose trust was in the Lord. In good times and bad he placed his confidence in God and not in himself or the circumstances he found himself in. He had been shown as as young child where the stream of living water was and that is were he sank his roots.

The night before last I sat watching the Sun set remembering the conversation he and I had the day before he died. I remembered asking him the question his mother had asked him so many years ago, "What is the chief end of man?" Without hesitation but with a smile he said,"The chief end of man is to glorify God and enjoy Him forever." He died the next morning. We had his Memorial on what would have been his 91st birthday had he lived. As I sat in that room full of people who had been touched by his life I remembered another verse, "For when David had served God's purpose in his own generation, he fell asleep." (Acts 13: 36)

Father, when my life has ended may it be said of me that I brought Your glory and that mine was a life marked by the joy that belongs to someone who belongs to You.

Monday, July 30, 2012

"I hate this!"

I don't know who pinned the note to the ceiling above the chair in the dentist office but I agreed with what it said. As the chair leaned back and the dentist would begin to insert the needle filled with Novocaine into my gums I would read, "I hate this!" Then I continued to hate it as I sat there opening my mouth so that he could proceed to take a drill to my tooth. I didn't fight against this. I didn't get up and run. The fact is I paid him to do it!

Just as decay needs to be dealt with in my teeth sin needs to be dealt with in my life but I don't like it. Before I can go to the dentist I have to admit I have a problem and call to make an appointment. The same is true with the sin in my life before I can deal with it I have to admit it's there. "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness."(1 John 1:9) To confess is to agree with God.

I have never once gone to the dentist and asked to be given the drill so that I could use it on myself. In the same way I can't by any action of my own deal with the sin in my life. What is required of me is humility. "Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at he proper time he may exalt you, casting all your anxiety on him, because he cares for you."(1 Peter 5:6,7)

Sometimes I just don't want to admit I have a problem. I'd rather ignore the pain than humble myself. If I can only stay busy enough it won't bother me anyway. At the heart of my problem is this question, "Do I really trust the Lord? Can I rest in His love for me? Does He love me enough that if I come to Him having failed again He can bring healing?"

Lord Jesus, here I am again. I want to be perfect on my own but the truth is I can't be. I would like to be able to fix myself without any help and without any pain but I can't do that either. Over and over You showed me Your faithfulness. Thank You.

Sunday, July 29, 2012

Stinky Feet

"Would you please get your stinking feet out of my face!"

 I have seen pictures of what the table for the last supper might have looked like and it seemed to me that the dirty feet of the person next to you would be a real problem. The day must have been exhausting for everyone a lot had taken place that day and now they were tired. They didn't feel like washing their own feet much less anyone else's. I've had days when I felt like that too.

This was to be Jesus' last meal with them and I am so touched by the words, "Having loved his own who were in the world, he loved them to the end." (John 13:1) How did He express this love? He got up, took off his outer clothing, and wrapped a towel around His waist and started washing their stinking feet.

I find that this happens when I live in community with others they become familiar my "stinky feet" and I with theirs. "Stinky feet" happen because although I am a Christian I still walk everyday in the world and I get dirty in the process. In community that dirt is exposed.

It is an act of humility to wash someone else's feet, not just humility it is love. It is also an act of humility to have someone else wash my dirty feet. I'm not sure which I struggle the most with having to confront someone else's "dirt" or having someone confront me with mine.

Lord Jesus, You showed me how to live in community. You showed me by example how to love others. Please help me to humbly love others by not ignoring their need to have their "feet washed" and help me to be humble when someone confronts me.

Saturday, July 28, 2012

The Only Thing That Counts

"The only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love." (Galatians 5:6) I'm trying to understand this, so, what is faith? "Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen." ( Hebrews 11:1) I also know from that chapter that without faith it is impossible to please God. But faith without love is nothing. "If I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing."(1 Corinthians 13:2)

The night before Jesus died He gave an illustration of what love looks like. "When Jesus knew that his hour had come to depart out of this world to the Father, having loved his own who were in the world, he loved them to the end."(John 13:1) He laid aside his outer garments tied a towel around his waist and began to wash their feet. He told them that night that people would know who belonged to Him because His disciples would be the ones loving each other.

I've always been struck by the parallel between these two verses "For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life."(John 3:16) "Believing in him" is what faith is all about. "By this we know love, that he laid down his life for us, and we ought to lay down our lives for the brothers." (1 John 3:16) If by faith I accept the love of God it means by faith I must also lay aside my pride and love others the way Jesus showed me.

Now my question is this what does faith have to do with love? By faith I believe that I am no longer a slave to my flesh but instead I am free to obey the law of love. So when I read that the works of the flesh are evident and that they include selfish ambition, desiring what other people have, being argumentative and outbursts of anger, just to name a few, I feel a bit sick realizing that I have myself displayed all of these traits just yesterday. Where faith comes in is that although I sin, sin no longer has dominion over me. So when I sin I confess it and by faith lay claim to the grace of God and seek to once more lay aside my pride and love others.

Lord Jesus, You have taught me that faith without love is nothing. You said that the only thing that really counts is faith expressing it's self through love. I want to be Your follower I want to love others but the truth is I often fail. Thank You that by faith I can be sure of what I hope for and confident about what I don't see that because of Your grace I can love others.




Thursday, July 26, 2012

Sure Footing

My son Andrew was three years old and was determined that he was able to go by himself. That was a problem because were he was going was an ice covered hill. I too was going up the hill but I had chosen a path that still had unfrozen grass so I had traction. Andrew chose solid ice.

Soon he began to slip and because he had no traction he continued slipping. Seeing him in distress I went to help him. I firmly took his hand and together we made it to the top of the hill.

There have been several times in my life when I have felt myself slipping. Times when I have felt I had no traction under my feet and I have been grateful for the verse that says," The steps of a man are established by the Lord, when he delights in his way; though he fall, he shall not be cast headlong, for the Lord upholds him with His hand."(Psalm 37: 23,24)

If my confidence were only in my ability I would be like my three year old son trying to walk up an ice covered hill. When I put my trust in God He establishes my steps. Because He holds my hand even when I stumble, and I do stumble, I am not I am not cast headlong.

Father, I do slip. I often find myself stumbling along the path. Sometimes on this journey I fall but my confidence is not in my own ability but in Your promise to hold my hand. Thank You for letting this journey not be based on my strength but on Your faithfulness.

Monday, July 23, 2012

When the Landscape of Life Changes

I looked Psalm 46:2 up in several translations and this is what I found:
Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea. New International Version
So we will not fear when earthquakes come and the mountains crumble into the sea. New Living Translation
Therefore we will not fear, though the earth should change And though the mountains slip into the heart of the sea. New American Standard Bible


Honestly, how would I feel if the earth should give way,quake or change? When what I am standing on is no longer stable? And what about when mountains fall, crumble or slip into the sea? When the landscape of my life changes and the things I thought were stable are simply no longer there, how would I respond? Panic is a word that comes to mind. Panic by definition is a sudden overwhelming fear that produces hysterical or irrational behavior. When what I'm standing on is no longer solid panic would be a good word to define how I would feel.

It is interesting to me that the the verse that precedes this is, "God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble." God is the one I flee to for safety. The truth is I do get afraid and there are times when I feel very vulnerable when this happens I go to God as my place of safety. He is my source of strength when I am in danger. Even when what I am standing on gives way, quakes and changes the God I have put my trust in remains secure.

Mountains are an earthly picture of strength so when they fall,crumble or slip into the sea it is terrifying! When my heart panics because what I thought was stable begins to shake I also find that God comes to my rescue. He is a very present help in time of need. God is my strength. I sometimes think I'm strong but take away all my props and the truth is made evident, I need a source of strength outside myself. In times like this I do not turn to God I RUN to Him.

Oh Father, because I have found You to be be my source of strength in times of danger I will not fear. Because You are the high tower, the fort the fortress where I have always found safety in times of danger I will not fear. I am weak and defenseless but You have opened  wide Your arms and and invited me to find refuge in Your strength and so when the landscape of my life changes I will not fear.

Sunday, July 22, 2012

The Stone of Rememberance

Diane was discouraged when she got to our house. Her present and her future seemed dismal. During the two weeks she stayed with us I gently questioned her about how God had directed her in the past. She and I were both blessed as she recounted God's faithfulness time and time again in her life. Remembering God's past blessing she was encouraged for the future.

Samuel took a stone and set it up between Mizpah, which in Hebrew means "a military observation point,"and Shem, which means "to teach diligently." The name of the stone was Ebenezer meaning, "thus far has the Lord helped us." 

God had won a mighty victory for the children of Israel. The Ebenezer stone was to be a reminder to them of His faithfulness. As a military observation point this memory would give them courage. As they diligently taught it to their children it would teach them that they too could put their faith in God.

I often find myself like Diane discouraged. God has done great things for me He has been very faithful but my mind can sometimes just dwell on negative thoughts. How interesting to me that this stone of remembrance was set up between a "military observation point" and a place whose name meant "to teach diligently." This reminds me that not only do I need to remind myself about what God has done for me but I also need to share it with others.

Father, when my enemy whispers discouragement to my soul help me to counter his attacks by remembering all the places in my life where You have blessed me.

Saturday, July 21, 2012

Move On

Sometimes my faith grows when I am faced with an impossible situation and God comes to my rescue doing for me what I could never do for myself. Then there are those other times when I am face with a hopeless situation  and while I'm waiting for God to come to my aid He tells me to move on.

This is how I imagine it happening with the Children of Israel:
 There they were boldly walking out of Egypt. Fresh on their mind was the power they had seen displayed by their God. All was right with the world until they turned around and saw that they were being pursued by Pharaoh's chariots and horsemen. Pharaoh was behind them and the Red Sea was in front of them. They were trapped.

Moses responded to their cry by telling them to "Be still." God responded to Moses' cry by saying, "Why are you crying out to me? Tell the Israelites to move on." (Exodus 14:15) Moses assumed God would work now as He had before with the Israelites. He expected to watch as God sent one more plague on Egypt.

This time, however, God required that they trust Him and that they take a step of faith onto the dry path across the Red Sea. Sometimes God asks this of me as well. Sometimes He calls me to walk by faith on an impossible pathway that he has made possible.

Father, as you open up the path You have chose for me enable me to follow You one step at a time.

Friday, July 20, 2012

Harmony

"A man's steps are directed by the Lord. How then can anyone understand his own way." Proverbs 20:24

"Alamand left with your left hand, here we go with a right and left grand." The square dancers are going one way when suddenly the caller tells them to change directions. A good square dancer has two components. First, he learns each part of the dance. Second, he learns to listen to the caller who tells him what to do next.

If a dancer doesn't learn each part, he will stand there unsure of what to do next while everyone else bumps into him. If he learns each part but doesn't learn to listen, he might do the right thing but at the wrong time. Whitout the two componets workig together, the square breaks down and the dance comes to a stop.

Sometimes I think about this when I think about the Christian life. First, I have to learn how to walk with Christ. I read and meditate on God's word and in doing so I gain understanding. Second, I must have faith. God is the one who directs my steps and to be honest I just don't always understand the direction He is leading me in. Faith is when I consider God worthy of my trust and therefore go when He says go even if I don't understand.

Just like in the dance, if these two parts aren't working together there is chaos. However, when I practice both listening to the Lord and obeying Him my life flows in harmony with His plans.

Father, give me the determination to learn Your word and the humility to listen to Your way. Please help me live my life in harmony with Your will.

Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Shaking Off the Shadows

Sometimes in the morning I have trouble shaking off the shadows and I wake up with gloomy thoughts. When this happens I have to take some time to tell myself the truth and turn my face to the light.

Regrets can often take sleep awake. When this happens I open my eyes in the light but only see darkness. It's time to tell myself the truth. "The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness." (Lamentations 3:22,23)  When I think about this verse I am reminded that no matter how much I may fail, God's love doesn't fail. His love is unwavering and immovable it is a safe place for my heart to find rest.

 I can never use up His compassion because it is new every morning. This is an important truth to focus on when my first thoughts upon waking are my failures. Because I want to fill my mind in the morning with light instead of darkness I choose to receive this precious gift of mercy. I think of this as I sit on my front porch watching the Sun rise and the Morning Glories unfolding their pedals.

This reassuring verse is found in the book of Lamentations. A lament is a cry of sorrow and grief. In the middle of this book of laments God comforts His people with the promise that even if they are unfaithful He will always be faithful. And so my day begins with choosing to turn my face towards the light while bathing my mind with the truth of God unfailing love and His fresh mercy. Because of His great faithfulness today will unfold like the pedals of a flower.


Lord, today I open my eyes and find You are already there. You are the author of this day and You have filled it with unconditional love. As I begin this day I am reminded that I can never use up Your compassion because new mercy awaits me every morning. Your faithfulness is great. You are my portion and I will put my hope in You.

Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Unaware


He was physically alive but spiritually dead, however he was unaware of his condition. That could be the only explanation for his actions. Because of his spiritual condition he was unable to see the Ancient of days whose clothing was as white as snow and hair like pure wool. He couldn’t see the throne with it's fiery flames nor did he see the stream of fire issued that came out before that throne. Unaware of the ten thousands time ten thousands that stood ready to serve the Most High God this man mocked the one who had everlasting dominion.

Like a physical corpse that cannot hear physical sound so it was with this man who stood before the High and Holy One unable to hear with spiritual ears. If only he had heard the thundering sound of the mighty rushing waters he would not have made such a fool of himself in the courts of Heaven. All he could hear was the sound of his own voice mocking the glory because since he was blind and deaf to the reality of the Eternal One of course that meant that the God of Glory did not exist.

“The fool says in his heart,'There is no god.' They are corrupt, they do abominable deeds, there is none who does good. The LORD looks down from heaven on the children of man to see if there are any who understand , who seek after God.” (Psalm 14:1,2) I would imagine at this time that the Cherubim whose bodies sparkle like the color of bronze and whose appearance is like coals of fire, would be standing ready to annihilate this fool who says there is no God, but God had another plan. Because He is not only the God of Glory but also the God of love He sent His Son to bring sight to the blind, open the ears of the deaf and bring the dead to life. He sent His Son so that the wretched of the earth would learn that they were no longer alone but that God was on their side.

Here I see another mystery, when God's son came to earth He was not cloaked in His glory instead, “He had no beauty or majesty to attract us to him, nothing in his appearance that we should desire him. He was despised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows, and familiar with suffering.” (Isaiah 53:4-6) He came to take our infirmaries and carry our sorrows.”He was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities, the punishment that brought us peace was upon him, and by his wounds we are healed. We all like sheep have gone astray, each of us has turned to his own way; and the Lord has laid on him the iniquity of us all.”

The only explanation for their behavior could be that they were spiritually dead. That is why they didn't see the one who hung before them dying was the Son of God. All of His suffering took place as it had been prophesied yet those who considered themselves wise were really fools. They stood mocking Him as He died just as other fools had mocked God as He sat on His throne. How did He respond? He said, “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.” God had not sent His son to condemn the world but that the world through him might be saved..

Monday, July 16, 2012

Thistles and Angels

It's such a royal looking plant growing out in the field. It's purple head raised high but to my husband, the farmer, it is the enemy. This Spring my husband became the "Thistle Hunter." Why is this beautiful regal plant considered an enemy? To understand the problem I had understand the root system and how the thistle multiplies. When the thistle invades the land above it also invades the earth beneath and blankets it with a roots system  that expands and resembles concrete. Woe unto the farmer who lets the thistle flower because now not only will you be at war with the roots but with the seeds.

For a while I was just an observer watching my husband fight for dominion over the thistle but it got personal when I found one trying to invade my flower bed. "Oh no you don't," I said as I reached out and grabbed it by the stem. That was the day I gained a new respect for this weed. Not only is it beautiful with it's purple flower, well rooted and prolific it also it covered with thorns. My hand still remembers it's first encounter the thistle's poisoned thorns.

While reading "The Message" by Eugene Peterson I gained a new appreciation for the parable Jesus told about God's Kingdom. This is what I read, "God's kingdom is like a farmer who planted good seed in his field. That night, while his hired men were asleep, his enemy sowed thistle all through the wheat and slipped away before dawn. When the first green shoots appeared and the grain began to form, the thistle showed up too." (Matt. 13:23) Since Jesus was telling this parable to farmers they would understand how this act could sabotage the whole field!

The farmhands wanted to know if they should try to weed the field but the farmer told them to wait till harvest and let the harvesters separate the wheat from the grain. When Jesus explained the parable to His disciples He told them that the harvest hands were the angles who were assigned to do this job at the end of the age.

Lord, thank You for this parable that helps me understand spiritual struggle by comparing it to the physical world I live in. Lord, You know how frustrated and panicked I get when I see "spiritual thistles." I want to
to get rid of them, now. Thank You for showing me Your plan so that I don't spend my life doing what You have assigned angles to do at the end of the age.

Friday, July 13, 2012

The Voices I Hear In The Wilderness

When all the world is right and filled with light life swirls round and round about me. There is no time to stop and take note of all that is going on. I am caught up and filled with the music of the dance of life. But then suddenly the music stops the light turns to darkness and I am lead into the wilderness.

In the wilderness there is a deep silence. In the silence there is time to think, there is time to reflect. My enemy comes into this barren wasteland to fill it with accusations. "Do you see your failure? Do you see how you have hurt the ones you love? You are inadequate, you have no hope!" In this desolate place I can see what I am shown. I see the truth that I have failed, I have missed to mark. What I thought was a masterpiece I now see for what it really is just scribbles on a page. In my attempt to escape the grasp of my enemy who tell me I have no hope I cry out, "Where does my hope come from?"

At first I only hear a whisper but it is enough to break the hold my enemy has on my heart. "I am your hope, I am your Redeemer, who formed you in the womb: I am the Lord, who has made all things, who alone stretched out the heavens, who spread out the earth by myself.(Isaiah 44:24) Though you have failed I have not." These words are whispered to me in the night but they are enough to silence my enemy.

Again I hear the words of my Redeemer but this time it is no longer in a whisper. This time the words are given in command and in a promise. "Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing!  Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wastelands."( Isaiah 43:18,19)

Lord, You form the light and create the darkness. You are Lord when all the world seems right and filled with light and laughter but You are also Lord when darkness comes and I am led into the wilderness. When my heart fills crushed within me and I am made aware of all my faults and failures by Your mercy let me put my hand into the hand of my Redeemer and turn a deaf ear to the one who says I have no hope.

Thursday, July 12, 2012

Like the Rocks in My Garden

My garden had become overgrown with weeds and I decided to clean it up. I got the hoe and started to work. There were lots of hidden rocks in my garden but one in particular was buried deep and hidden not only by the weeds but by the dirt. When the metal of my hoe hit the stone sparks flew. When at last I was able to pry up the stone I was attacked by fire ants that were living beneath it. The fire ants furiously swarmed my legs curling their bodies into a C shape as they bit with their mandibles and stung with their stingers. I had to stop and ask myself, "How badly do I want flowers instead of rocks and weeds, is this worth it?"

In my life pride is buried deep like the rocks in my garden. So deep I don't even realize it's there. Sometimes this hidden rock is exposed by confrontation, when that happens the sparks fly. The rock or pride is so much a part of the landscape of my life it's hard to get rid of it even when it's been exposed. My anger is often like a fire ant attack. This process can be so unpleasant that sometimes, I confess, I just walk away and leave the stone in place.

I have been reading through the book of Isaiah and I see Isaiah's word causing sparks to fly as God used him to confront the Israelite's about their sin. As long as their pride was in tack the response to Isaiah's word would be bitter anger. The antidote to both the pride and the anger was humility. "For thus says the One who is high and lifted up, who inhabits eternity, whose name is Holy: 'I dwell in the high and holy place, and also with him who is of a contrite and lowly spirit, to revive the heart of the contrite.'" (Isaiah 57:15)

The only cure for pride is humility the only hope when the fire ants of anger attack is to call the on the one God sent to deliver me. "Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends if the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak." ( Isaiah 40:28,29) When I have humbled myself before Him and the painful work of removing my pride has been accomplished only then am I ready for the flowers to be planted in my garden.

Lord Jesus, I can only know where these hidden places of pride are in my heart when You expose them. This process is not pleasant but I would rather have the flower of grace than the stone of pride in my heart. Please do for me what I cannot do for myself as I humble myself before You. Thank You for being my Redeemer and the gardener of my soul.

Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Perspective,Perspective, Perspective

"I'm just not feeling it." I have heard this expression used when talking about someones spiritual walk and I can identify with them. There have been times when I have been emotionally bankrupt and yet because of what I've learned from studying the Scripture I keep going.

Having the eternal perspective that I gain through reading the Bible makes all the difference when I encounter spiritual dry times in my life. For instance I read that in the life of Hezekiah, "God left him to test him and to know everything that was in his heart." (2 Chron. 32:31) I confess that during difficult times I have been appalled at what has been revealed. I see that God uses these times as part of His work in transforming my heart.

When John the baptist was locked up in prison he sent word to Jesus and asked, "Are you the One we've been expecting, or are we still waiting?" Jesus responded by pointing John to the prophecies of Isiah that he was fulfilling. The prophecies pointed to the fact that the wretched of the earth had been given a Savior. John remained in prison and was beheaded. The truth of the gospel was not diminished by the things John suffered.

The disciples were on the Sea of Galilee in a storm. The little boat they were in was being tossed back and forth by the waves. They were fighting for their lives and Jesus was asleep in the boat. When they woke him with their cry, "Don't you care that we are about to perish!" they discovered his power over the storm. They had to recognize their weakness before they could recognize his strength. Their panic became an opportunity to know peace.

Lord Jesus, help me see my life through the lens of faith. When, "I'm just not feeling it," help me remember You're still at work. When my heart is tested and sin is exposed help me to humble myself. Lord help me to live my life based on Your promises and not according to my circumstances. Please let the storms of life while exposing my weakness reveal Your strength.


Friday, July 6, 2012

Untethered

All they knew was that they were to protect the tree they were tethered to. I listened as the group of young people described what they had learned from the game they had played the night before. One girl spoke and said that she finally realized that she wasn't really protecting the tree she was protecting the rope that bound her. Once she realized she was being held captive she was able to be set free.

I've been thinking about that picture of protecting the thing that binds you. I realize that I do that too. There are some sins that are pet sins. The Scripture says that there can be pleasure in sin for a short time. Just enough time for the enemy of my soul to bind me. Often I don't even recognize that I have lost my freedom and I will fight for the right to be a slave.

Unforgiveness can keep me captive as well. I find when I choose to not forgive someone that I become bound to the offense. I have a hard time not thinking about the wrong that has been done to me. I become a prisoner in my thoughts and my mind goes involuntarily back to the person who wronged me.

Then there is also the binding power of anxiety. How can I know what freedom feels like if I am tied to the things over which I have no control? I've heard people say that they felt that if they worried about something then it wouldn't happen. I think if I did that I would forever be held captive to negative thinking.

Lord, I want to be free! I don't want to be bound by my sins, my forgiving heart, or by fear. Your word says, "So if the Son sets you free, you are free indeed." (John 8:36) Thank You for doing for me what I could not do for myself. Help me to walk in the freedom You have given me.

Monday, July 2, 2012

"Who are YOU?"

"Who are YOU?" said the Caterpillar.
This was not an encouraging opening for a conversation. Alice replied, rather shyly, "I--- I hardly know, sir, just at present--- at least I know who I WAS when I got up this morning, but I think I must have been changed several times since then." Lewis Carroll, Alice's Adventures in Wonderland


 I realize that often I have attempted to understand who I am in relationship with others. "I am the the third of nine children and the oldest girl in my family." That was who I saw myself  as a little girl but I have changed several times since then.


Sometimes I introduce myself by the difficulties I have known. Everyone has difficulties of some kind but if  I only let people see me through that lens it is far to limiting. The hard things I have encountered in life are not who I am they are simply tools that have been used to shape who I am. 

I remember the day my son brought the girl who was to become his wife home to introduce her to the family. I was intensely interested in knowing who she was. I spent the whole morning finding work I could do in the front yard so I would be there when they drove up. My understanding of who she was began with the understanding that this was someone whom my son had come to love.

"Who are YOU?" I understand how Alice in Wonderland would have a hard time with this question. I have found that the only way I can truly understand who I am is to see my reflection in my Heavenly Father's eyes. Every morning when I look into His word I see my relationship to Him. I find healing for my soul. But most of all I realize that my identity is that I am loved.

Lord Jesus, thank You that I can find my identity in You. Thank You for Your redeeming love and that I am not who I was. Morning after morning as I with an unveiled face behold Your glory I am being transformed into Your image by the power of Your Spirit.

Sunday, July 1, 2012

A Risky Prayer?

I thought I had found the perfect prayer for me to pray. I had studied the book of Ezekiel earlier this year and I had read where God caused Ezekiel's tongue to cleave to the roof of his mouth unless he was speaking for God. When I was asked by my prayer group what they could pray for me I shared this idea with them. One of the women in the group cocked her head and said, "That's a pretty risky prayer for a speaker to pray is't it?"

I was a keynote speaker at a family camp when I made this prayer request. I didn't think it was risky at the time because I had prayed over all the talks I was going to give. I felt fairly secure. That is when it happened. God answered my prayer.

I was speaking that night about how to find your balance in a unbalanced world. I talked about facing your fears and letting the love of God bring you to a place where you have rest for your soul. Every time I went over my notes I kept hearing the Lord ask, "Sarah, do you believe what you are saying?"

The time came for me to speak. I stood before the crowd and all I was able to do was give them the outline of what I had planned to say then I found I could say nothing else. I told everyone to go to the place they feared the most and ask God to meet them there. I don't know how long I stood there unable to say any thing but, "For the eyes of the LORD move to and fro throughout the earth that He may strongly support those whose heart is completely His." (2 Chronicles 16:9) So many people came to me later to tell me what they had heard. What they had heard had not come from my mouth.

Lord Jesus, thank You for showing me what I should already know. You don't need my mouth to speak Your message to Your children. Thank You for meeting me in my own fearful place as I stood before a room full of people unable to speak.