"I hate this!"

I don't know who pinned the note to the ceiling above the chair in the dentist office but I agreed with what it said. As the chair leaned back and the dentist would begin to insert the needle filled with Novocaine into my gums I would read, "I hate this!" Then I continued to hate it as I sat there opening my mouth so that he could proceed to take a drill to my tooth. I didn't fight against this. I didn't get up and run. The fact is I paid him to do it!

Just as decay needs to be dealt with in my teeth sin needs to be dealt with in my life but I don't like it. Before I can go to the dentist I have to admit I have a problem and call to make an appointment. The same is true with the sin in my life before I can deal with it I have to admit it's there. "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness."(1 John 1:9) To confess is to agree with God.

I have never once gone to the dentist and asked to be given the drill so that I could use it on myself. In the same way I can't by any action of my own deal with the sin in my life. What is required of me is humility. "Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at he proper time he may exalt you, casting all your anxiety on him, because he cares for you."(1 Peter 5:6,7)

Sometimes I just don't want to admit I have a problem. I'd rather ignore the pain than humble myself. If I can only stay busy enough it won't bother me anyway. At the heart of my problem is this question, "Do I really trust the Lord? Can I rest in His love for me? Does He love me enough that if I come to Him having failed again He can bring healing?"

Lord Jesus, here I am again. I want to be perfect on my own but the truth is I can't be. I would like to be able to fix myself without any help and without any pain but I can't do that either. Over and over You showed me Your faithfulness. Thank You.