Learning to lament

Some times I have trouble being honest with my negative emotions.

When I am afraid for myself or my children how am I supposed to handle that as a Christian? When I am angry at someone or at a situation what should I do with my anger? When I am shrouded by grief over a loss I have no explanation for how should I respond?

I have a picture in my mind of how a Christian should respond. The problem is it doesn't always match the honest reaction in my heart. This leaves me with a dilemma. Do I fake it,escape it, or give into it. "It" being the negative emotions.

The reality of negative emotions is that they humble me. I do not like to be humbled. I like to be in control. I want to be in control of the situation. I want to be in control of my response to the situation. Fear, anger, grief expose my vulnerability. The Scripture teaches that,"God resists the proud but He gives grace to the humble."James 4:6

God is teaching me how to be honest. He is teaching me this by taking me into situations I cannot control producing emotions I do not want and then inviting to learn how to lament. How strange this gift of lamentation is. I feel as if God is inviting me to be real. Inviting me to really look at pain and sorrow and bring it to Him in prayer. Prayer that that is humble and honest, full of pain and passion.

I see these prayers of lamination throughout the Psalms. The palmist doesn't seem to have trouble bringing his humanity into the presence of an Almighty God. These Psalms begin with pain and end with praise. My laments bring me again and again face to face with my need for a Savior and a Redeemer. When I remove my mask and admit my pain I find myself comforted with the truth.

Lord Jesus, thank you for being my Redeemer and my Savior. When I in honest humility lift my tears to You I find Your light penetrating my pain and I see at last a rainbow and am filled once more with hope.