When brokenness is all you have to offer

"Let my people go, that they may worship me in the wilderness..." Exodus 7:16 Recently I heard Michael Card teach on lamentations as worship. He made the statement that all true worship begins in the wilderness. I have experienced this over and over and over.

In the wilderness the children of Israel got a good understanding of who they were and who they weren't. In the wilderness when everything was stripped away they were exposed. When they were hungry and thirsty and there was nothing they could do they found out what they really trusted in. That's true of my experiences in the wilderness too.

I find my wilderness when I am confronted with situations I can't control. I see things that make me afraid for my children but I can't fix it. I find myself in a job and discover I am inadequate. I struggle with a sin that I can't seem to overcome. Not in control, inadequate, and struggling what a pretty picture. But it's an honest picture. That's another feature of the wilderness it allows me to be real and to be humble. When life humbles me and I  feel very very small I am in a good position. "God resists the proud but he gives grace to the humble." And boy do I need a lot of grace.

I woke up in the middle of the night last night and thought about how kind God is to accept my struggle as worship. Because the other part of being in the wilderness is that while finding out who you aren't you find out who God is and that's what worship is all about. It's funny how when life has taken the breath out of me and I'm on my face looking up I discover over and over again that I am loved. I am desperately dependant on God. I am not in control, I'm inadequate for my job, I struggle with the same sin over and over again, I fall to my knees and call out and He is there. I find myself once more worshiping God in the wilderness.

I think that would be a pretty awful picture if that was the end of my story but there is more. When I go to the wilderness and discover who I am not and who God is God always takes me to another level of intimacy. The truth is I need a Savior I need a Redeemer but when I'm not in the wildness I don't always know that. I feel like given enough time I can be my own Savior and perhaps my children's too while I'm at it. But just a few days in the wilderness and I'm on my knees

Lord Jesus, I am reminded of a song I heard long ago,"All I had to offer Him was brokenness and strife but He made something beautiful out of my life." I would like my worship to be a beautiful song or a picture that would make people join me in worship but all I have to give You is me.Thank You for giving me You in return!