It wasn't about my honor it was about His honor.
I woke up but I didn't want to get out of bed. I had discovered that someone at our church had used our absence to gossip about us. The hurt I felt was so deep. I didn't want to face the day and I didn't want to face anyone else either.
I lay there hurting but trying to pray. I was struggling to find the words. I decided to just say the words Jesus used when he taught his disciples to pray. "Our Father, who art in Heaven", the reality of these words intersected my pain. For a moment I just lay there letting the truth of having access to the throne of Heaven penetrate my mind. But Jesus didn't just give me access he gave me permission to approach the throne with the relationship of a child to her father.
"Hallowed be Thy name." Because of the gossip and slander that had occurred I felt dishonored. Suddenly, as I prayed I became aware of the truth. I wasn't praying ,"Hallowed be my name",I was praying," Hallowed be Thy name". Suddenly the focus of my prayer shifted. I began to pray that God would redeem the situation and use it to bring Himself honor.
In the Bible there are sacrifices that are put on the alter and God sends down fire to consume them as a sign that He has accepted what was offered. I had in prayer lay my humiliation on the alter and asked my Heavenly Father to redeem it and use it for His glory. I felt as if a ray from Heaven came down and my prayer was excepted.
When I saw the day through the lens of faith my view was altered. When I bowed in prayer before my Heavenly Father I received the courage I needed to face the day.
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