"Clean off your desk and get out a clean sheet of paper." Even now so many years latter those words that indicated that a test was about to take place make me uncomfortable. That cleared off desk and clean sheet of paper was preparation for finding out what I knew and what I didn't know.
I think tests get rid of clutter in my life like that cleaned off desk and clean sheet of paper a test forces me to focus. I just finished reading the book of Job and there seemed to be a lot of cluttered thinking going on. Everyone was trying to explain God and in the end they failed. I, however, have a little bit of an advantage when I read Job. I have a bit of a cheat sheet because I have the first twelve verses that show me a divine perspective of what's taking place on earth.
When Job is put to the test he doesn't pretend he's not suffering. He doesn't understand what is happening any more than the people around him. None of them had access to the first twelve verses like I do. Job suffered, he struggled and he complained but when every thing was stripped away Job showed what real worship looks like. He said,"The Lord gave and the Lord has take away; blessed be the name of the Lord."(Job 1:21) It's seems like the main question on this test was, "Do you believe God is good and that you can trust Him?" Job answered,"Yes."
Job was a very righteous man but he couldn't understand why God allowed him to be so thoroughly tested. Even reading those first twelve verse of Job I don't understand either. I think the point of Job and the test wasn't so that Job, his friends or anyone else could walk away and say,"Oh, okay, now I understand God." I think in the end the lesson learned by the test was that though I can't understand God I can trust Him. At the end of the test God revealed Himself to Job in such a way that Job responded,"My ears had heard of you but now my eyes have seen you." (Job 42:5)
Father, the tests in my life reveal how little I really know. I'm afraid it also reveals how weak my faith is. But sometimes I wonder if the real reason for the test isn't to expose my lack but so that I can I can experience You in an uncluttered way. And I wonder sometimes if the test isn't more of an invitation for me to know You in a deeper and richer way. Maybe that's why the book of James says to count it all joy when my faith is tested.
I'm reading through the Bible, beginning to end, and when I got my cancer diagnosis about a year ago, guess which book I turned to on the very next day? Yep, Job. It finally made sense this time.
ReplyDeleteI find comfort in knowing that though I can't always understand what is going I can trust God. It's in times like these I think we are invited to one of the purest forms of worship.
DeleteSarah this is so good! I like your comparison of a school test and a hardhship test. We just finished reading Job as well, so my interest was particularly perked. Love,Hannah
ReplyDeleteJob is one of those books that humbles me but then again maybe that's what it's supposed to do.
Delete