Beyond mea culpa

"Mea culpa,mea culpa,maxima mea culpa." "Through my fault, through my fault, through my most grievous fault." I learned about my guilt early in life. I found it to be a constant companion. Often it would awaken me it the night. Suddenly I would think of something I should have done or equally as effective,in robbing me of sleep, something I shouldn't have done.

I have found guilt to have a paralyzing effect on me. When I am consumed with guilt there is not room for much else. One day it dawned on me that this self absorption was simply just another form of pride. It was as if Pride had come in through the back door and was masquerading as Humility.

The Bible teaches that you will know the truth and the truth will set you free. The truth that sets me free is the unfailing love of God I find in Jesus Christ. As a child I memorized John 3:16 For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son that whoever believed in Him should not perish but have everlasting life. As a child I believed and accepted Jesus as my Savior.

That should have been the end of guilt, right? Yet, still I am painfully aware of my faults and failures. Daily I must make the decision on what I will focus on. I also read in Scripture,"I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth." The truth is I am forgiven, I have a Savior, a Redeemer. I have a high priest at the throne of God who understands my struggles and who is interceding on my behalf.

Today I choose to worship my Savior and not my guilt. I lift my eyes away from my fault and to His face.  I choose to put my confidence in His grace. Based on the truth of His love, by faith I will rise up and walk. I am humbly aware of my unworthiness but I am also aware that the hand extended to me bares scares. By those scares I am healed.